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Old November 2nd, 2016, 12:26 AM #61
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Yeah that's a struggle for me as well, I easily run out of things to say, it's frustrating Beyond to hell on how I like the normal social skills and conversation skills that most people have it seems in order to connect with other people, it doesn't help at all that I sort of have autism specifically it's called Asperger's, I know people will say the only disability out there is a bad attitude but still it affects people social skills no doubt about that
Okay, my brother has Asperger's Syndrome, so I kind of understand what living with it is like.

You have developed an incredibly unhealthy thought routine in your head. Your understanding of Gender Relations and Healthy Relationships has become an obsession which is approaching something that is not acceptable in society.

I know that sometimes you might feel stuck in these thought processes, so what you need to do is, if you're still at school, go see a school counselor, if you're not, go see your doctor or wherever you get your support from. Tell them you aren't coping with thoughts.

Don't let this consume you, because it does not consume anyone else.
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 12:31 AM #62
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Yami_Wheeler wrote: View Post

snip from previous page
Holy shit. This got deep.

I understand, though. This situation as a whole is a significant part of some of my ongoing depression issues that started after my mental breakdown a couple of years back. I am glad to know I'm not the only one who sees it, though.
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 01:31 AM #63
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

i know many will disagree but if a guy has a bad, horrible, negative attitude, he is a worse candidate for a relationship than if a woman is like that, in other words, it's far more important for a guy to be mentally and emotionally healthy, stable, in control of his emotions, more than the other way around.
But, again, even if we were to agree with you, how does that solve anything? We can all point to countless inequalities that exist in the world until we're blue in the face, but it's not going to improve our lives. In fact, it just makes us more bitter and unwilling to participate. Horrible negative attitudes just turn us into people that most people don't like, how is that helping?

The people in this thread keep getting on your case because all you seem to want is the right to be mad. There's nothing wrong with that, but then make it clear you don't want a better life, you don't want a girlfriend, you just want a safe place to say how much you hate how life works.

And just for clarification, again, there is no "worse" candidate. Guys don't put up with shit from girls any more than the other way around, and the spin in your head is, again, coming purely from the sites you frequent. You're reinforcing your own unhappiness, please recognize that.

For as long as i can remember, i've always hated these phrases with a huge passion, they are "Man up, Grow a Pair or Grow some Balls", those phrases really make me feel like hitting, punching a dude in the face really hard.
And the reason why you hate them is because you give them power. You're hating the fact that you feel that you're being "forced" to live up to them. It's not true. You're already a man, you have balls, there is nothing for you to prove to the world.

Shut out everything you've heard and make yourself happy.
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 06:39 AM #64
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New venting thread, new vent from me.

And where, oh WHERE do I begin?!

First up: my brother's getting chemotherapy. He WAS supposed to get surgery to remove a growing lymph node that was possibly connected to his testicular cancer, but the doctor who had recommended the surgery called the "testicular cancer guru"----a highly-respected doctor in Indiana---and THAT guy suggested chemotherapy instead. My brother's response? Not to mention it, and to tell me to shut up when I asked him what a "miniport" was (Mom briefly mentioned it, but my brother's quiet "shut the hell up" cut off any response she could've made). Oh, and he's going to be on chemo for nine weeks.

Secondly: It seems that, when our new central air conditioning unit was installed a few years ago, the guys who did the job were total crap. They did SOMEthing wrong, and a pipe was either knocked loose or clogged....fast forward to a few weeks ago, and it turns out that there was mold under the vinyl carpeting in the hallway. Fast forward to NOW, and half of the hallway floor (as well as half of the floor in the kitchen) has been torn up to pave the way for a replacement. Everything has been moved around, the mornings of the past few days have been filled with the sounds of power tools, air compressors and the dogs not shutting the hell up......yeah.

Thirdly: Appliances crapping out left and right. First it was the stove/oven, which was just replaced over the weekend. Then it was the ice maker, which died some time last week. And now the microwave is being a pain, refusing to work unless you slam the door hard enough---which, for some reason, resets the clock. Oh, and the seals on the refrigerator door aren't working as well as they used to; I've passed by at random and seen the door open just a smidge, usually after someone closed it maybe two minutes earlier.

So.....yeah. November has just started, and things are already going a bit weird........
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 10:33 AM #65
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well i've always hated those phrases said to us guys, men, those are pretty frequent common phrases thrown at guys once puberty starts and post-puberty, i guess the long and short of it, is that sometimes i feel like getting into a fight to release my anger, rage, stress, whenever life, reality is cruel, tough, unfair, feels like an injustice, exercising and going to the gym hasn't been enough for me, i'm in my late 20's, and i feel my frustration over being single this long should be more understandable because i've never really truly had anything serious with a girl, only dated for a few weeks, it was kinda a fling but she was never officially my girlfriend, so no emotional connection with a girl yet.

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Old November 2nd, 2016, 12:55 PM #66
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I've been a professional journalist for more than six years. I've never needed to peace out and clear my head during a story. I just had to. That bus crash in Baltimore, one of our reporters talked to the father of the driver of the MTA bus that was struck. She was just 33.

"A friend of her's son got murdered and the day before yesterday she was helping console that person and help to get money to help bury him and stuff. She never accomplished that mission because the next day this happened to her."

I was a mess already from listening to this interview while writing it up, then I got to that.
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 01:13 PM #67
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RitoRevolto wrote: View Post

I've been a professional journalist for more than six years. I've never needed to peace out and clear my head during a story. I just had to. That bus crash in Baltimore, one of our reporters talked to the father of the driver of the MTA bus that was struck. She was just 33.

"A friend of her's son got murdered and the day before yesterday she was helping console that person and help to get money to help bury him and stuff. She never accomplished that mission because the next day this happened to her."

I was a mess already from listening to this interview while writing it up, then I got to that.
Jeez, this crash has been impacting everyone. I was at work yesterday when my manager went into the back to take a phone call. She came back to the front and we were just chilling by the register for a few minutes when she suddenly burst into tears. Turns out her best friend's mother died in a bus crash. It was sad but I didn't realize just how serious it was until I got home and my sister was telling me that one of her classmates lost a parent in a bus crash (I later found out that said parent was one of the drivers. I can't remember if they drove the MTA or the school bus). Then I go on facebook and all I see on my news feed are people commenting on the same accident. Suddenly, something that I had originally assumed was a simple car crash was becoming a bigger and bigger deal with each passing minute
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 02:07 PM #68
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

i'm in my late 20's, and i feel my frustration over being single this long should be more understandable because i've never really truly had anything serious with a girl
NOW we're getting somewhere. You just want people to agree with you.

Here's the thing, we do agree with you... to a point. I started way back when you first brought this up in the last thread months and months ago that what you want is perfectly understandable, everyone wants some kind of emotional connection to another person. However, you are the one sabotaging your own ability to achieve that goal because you give far more validity to the very injustices you claim to despise rather than discarding them. People hate stereotypes because they don't always apply, so don't apply them to women so you can be right all the time.

The way you speak in this thread makes your evaluation of romance to be a contest, that women always win and it's not fair. That women reject you and you don't reject them so it's not fair. That they lead you on and you don't lead them on and it's not fair. The only person being unfair is you.

Everything you complain about here all skews toward your own needing to be catered to. That women should be into you, that men shouldn't tell you to be assertive, that other RangerBoard members should understand your plight. Maturity is understanding that women have the right not to be into you, that being assertive is a good thing, and that RangerBoard members are trying to help you grow as a person. You may be in your late 20s, but you still have a lot of growing up to do if your view of life is so focused on what you want.

i feel like getting into a fight to release my anger, rage, stress, whenever life, reality is cruel, tough, unfair, feels like an injustice
Nobody on Earth likes injustice, but most people find their ways of coping, moving forward despite them.

If things like exercising still don't channel your physical reaction, maybe you're somebody who wants to proactively change the world. Maybe you're an activist, try setting up or getting involved in movements that address whatever you feel are injustices. If you can't accept them or move past them, then try to fix them.



DukeNukem 2417 wrote: View Post

My brother's response? Not to mention it, and to tell me to shut up when I asked him what a "miniport" was (Mom briefly mentioned it, but my brother's quiet "shut the hell up" cut off any response she could've made).
But, technically, that's his business. It's his cancer, let him deal with it how he wants to.

You're not entitled to know anything, nor are your opinions entitled to be heard. There's nothing wrong with that, don't vilify him.

Everything has been moved around, the mornings of the past few days have been filled with the sounds of power tools, air compressors and the dogs not shutting the hell up......yeah.
Hopefully, it's just the storm before the calm. After all, this commotion is all being done to improve your lives, so just focus on what the end result's supposed to be.

Thirdly: Appliances crapping out left and right.
And this one's just par for the course. Lost an oven, lost three of the four eyes on the stove, and lost maybe six microwaves in the last ten years. I'm honestly amazed that the refrigerator's still holding up, it's been around since I was born.



RitoRevolto wrote: View Post

I was a mess already from listening to this interview while writing it up, then I got to that.
For the record, never lose that part of yourself, Tyler.

We suffer from way too little humanity in journalism.
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 03:47 PM #69
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

well i've always hated those phrases said to us guys, men, those are pretty frequent common phrases thrown at guys once puberty starts and post-puberty, i guess the long and short of it, is that sometimes i feel like getting into a fight to release my anger, rage, stress, whenever life, reality is cruel, tough, unfair, feels like an injustice, exercising and going to the gym hasn't been enough for me, i'm in my late 20's, and i feel my frustration over being single this long should be more understandable because i've never really truly had anything serious with a girl, only dated for a few weeks, it was kinda a fling but she was never officially my girlfriend, so no emotional connection with a girl yet.
Flat-out dude, your attitude sucks. Really, really badly, and nobody, guy or girl, wants to date someone who acts like you. This right here is basically you admitting that you act like a child who throws a temper tantrum any time something doesn't go your way, and at your age that shit doesn't fly.

I won't tell you that you need to "man up", but you definitely have a lot of growing up to do. And that's me done with this situation.
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 04:24 PM #70
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

*snip*
Firstly, I apologise if I'm just "sticking my oar in" when you've got conversations running with a lot of other members. But I think I can help, in a way. I'm a young man in my 20s, and I spent maybe 5 years feeling the same way you did. Really. A lot of what you say sent me back to a time when I was saying the same things. This may come off as rude, but I came across an article that pretty much encapsulates the problem, so I'm going to leech heavily from there:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The World Only Cares About What It Can Get From You.

Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife -- he's going to operate right there in the street.

You ask, "Are you a doctor?"

The guy says, "No."

You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or ..."

At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.

Confused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my [wife/husband/best friend/parent] is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?"

Now the man becomes agitated -- why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?

In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, "Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole."

So here is the terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. You arrived at the scene of that emergency, holding your pocket knife, by virtue of your birth -- the moment you came into the world, you became part of a system designed purely to see to people's needs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's pretty much the best summation of adulthood, and I find it translates well to the dating world. What do you bring to the table? Don't say that you're "nice", that's the bare minimum, girls have guys being nice to them 20 times a day. Even when girls fall for jerks, it's because jerks have other things they can offer. Focus on yourself, what you're good at, not a list of bad things you aren't. Again, you're about to operate on a bleeding gunshot victim, they don't care about all the faults that you don't have, can you fucking operate or not?

I was tempted to cap it off with Alec Baldwin's speech from Glengarry Glenn Ross, but I felt that might be overkill for what's essentially a longwinded piece of unsolicited advice in a venting thread to a fellow man who's also single. However if you want to look it up, it's a great watch.
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 05:45 PM #71
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Kaigan wrote: View Post

Flat-out dude, your attitude sucks. Really, really badly, and nobody, guy or girl, wants to date someone who acts like you. This right here is basically you admitting that you act like a child who throws a temper tantrum any time something doesn't go your way, and at your age that shit doesn't fly.

I won't tell you that you need to "man up", but you definitely have a lot of growing up to do. And that's me done with this situation.
well i have every right to feel this way, i have every right to have this attitude for being lonely this long, but ya i understand, the way the world works it seems, is if you are a guy, the world does NOT owe you anything, really does truly seem that way more than the other way around.
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 05:50 PM #72
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

well i have every right to feel this way, i have every right to have this attitude for being lonely this long, but ya i understand, the way the world works it seems, is if you are a guy, the world does NOT owe you anything, really does truly seem that way more than the other way around.
Holy hell...

How do you keep missing what we are telling you? Stop emphasizing gender. Stop doing men this and women that and men men men. Just stop. The gender roles are not the problem here, you are the problem with your attitude and view on things. Dude, if you were a woman with this attitude you'd still have absolutely no luck with relationships. Nobody wants to date anybody who acts like this, because you're acting like a five year old who's just now learning about the differences between boys and girls. I'm a guy and I would never date a girl who acted like this, because it's obnoxious and immature.

You need to start acting your age. Stop blaming the world for your problems and admit that you're the one causing your own suffering, then change it.
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Old November 2nd, 2016, 05:55 PM #73
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DukeNukem 2417 wrote: View Post

First up: my brother's getting chemotherapy. He WAS supposed to get surgery to remove a growing lymph node that was possibly connected to his testicular cancer, but the doctor who had recommended the surgery called the "testicular cancer guru"----a highly-respected doctor in Indiana---and THAT guy suggested chemotherapy instead. My brother's response? Not to mention it, and to tell me to shut up when I asked him what a "miniport" was (Mom briefly mentioned it, but my brother's quiet "shut the hell up" cut off any response she could've made). Oh, and he's going to be on chemo for nine weeks.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe he doesn't want to talk about it because cancer is scary as hell?

Thirdly: Appliances crapping out left and right. First it was the stove/oven, which was just replaced over the weekend. Then it was the ice maker, which died some time last week. And now the microwave is being a pain, refusing to work unless you slam the door hard enough---which, for some reason, resets the clock. Oh, and the seals on the refrigerator door aren't working as well as they used to; I've passed by at random and seen the door open just a smidge, usually after someone closed it maybe two minutes earlier.
It happens. Without warning, my fridge a few weeks ago went crazy. The fridge portion jumped to 50-60 degrees, while everything in the freezer was iced over. Turns out all the vents between fridge and freezer had frozen over completely, blocking air flow.

Depending on age, appliances are going to go. It's just a fact of life.
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Old November 3rd, 2016, 12:08 AM #74
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

the way the world works it seems, is if you are a guy, the world does NOT owe you anything, really does truly seem that way more than the other way around.
But why? What is it women are owed? Seriously, now I'm just curious to see what you're seeing.

Because if you go back to the same old "guys ask girls out more" thing, that's because guys WANT to ask girls out more. And even when girls purposefully don't ask guys out, they absolutely put themselves in positions to make sure they get asked out by those guys.

Your not wanting to participate in the biggest key to getting what you claim to want so badly is on you.
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Old November 3rd, 2016, 12:33 AM #75
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

well i have every right to feel this way, i have every right to have this attitude for being lonely this long, but ya i understand, the way the world works it seems, is if you are a guy, the world does NOT owe you anything, really does truly seem that way more than the other way around.
You know what the problem is, aside from your attitude? You're finally seeing the world as it should be.

For the longest time, men had an advantage over women. Pay, jobs, other forms of preferential treatment.

Now? Women are being seen as equals (as they should be!) by more and more people, including men.

That said, there's a difference between equality and feminism. Feminism is a disease we must stamp out, equality is something we must fight for and keep alive.

My guess is you're running into feminists who aren't afraid to call you on your bullcrap and even get a bit shitty when doing so. Try other women, stop putting yourself in the same situations again and again.

You're doing this to yourself. Try a dating site where you have to put in criteria that you absolutely require. You'll find better matches and won't have to rely on something you don't have going for you: Patience.
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Old November 3rd, 2016, 02:04 AM #76
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Autobot032 wrote: View Post

Feminism is a disease we must stamp out, equality is something we must fight for and keep alive.
99.9% of feminists are fighting for equality. Don't let the internet ruin your evaluation of them, none of us look good through the lens of social media.
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Old November 3rd, 2016, 03:51 PM #77
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Primo Ron White wrote: View Post

But why? What is it women are owed? Seriously, now I'm just curious to see what you're seeing.

Because if you go back to the same old "guys ask girls out more" thing, that's because guys WANT to ask girls out more. And even when girls purposefully don't ask guys out, they absolutely put themselves in positions to make sure they get asked out by those guys.

Your not wanting to participate in the biggest key to getting what you claim to want so badly is on you.
Well your right, for as long as I can remember, I've always hated, resented, detested with a huge passion that guys have to be the initiators, the confident assertive ones, my motto for life is just because it's the way it is doesn't mean I have to like it or enjoy it
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Old November 3rd, 2016, 03:52 PM #78
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Well your right, for as long as I can remember, I've always hated, resented, detested with a huge passion that guys have to be the initiators, the confident assertive ones, my motto for life is just because it's the way it is doesn't mean I have to like it or enjoy it
Except that's not how it is. Jesus dude, that's what we keep telling you. The world doesn't operate the way you think it does.

Girls initiate all the time, they just don't initiate with you, and it's because of your attitude.
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Old November 3rd, 2016, 04:03 PM #79
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I went to an allergist today to confirm a pollen allergy. They decided to run the gamut.

I discover I'm also allergic to raw carrots, celery, apple, and cherry. And those are four of my favourite things to eat ever. Despite never having even a slight reaction to two of them before, i do now.

I was going to say fuck my life, until I noticed in the room next to me a small girl was being tested for milk. Fucking milk. Not just lactose intolerance, goddamn dairy-induced anaphylactic. At like 6 years old. Do you have any idea how often milk hides in products? It's like she'll need an Epipen for every packaged processed food she reaches for on the shelf for life. And she can never accept most treats from people again.

I almost want to eat a basket of cherries now.

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Old November 3rd, 2016, 06:48 PM #80
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During my wife's pregnancy, I've tried to be at every appointment I can. Once the school year started I had to miss a handful due to work commitments, but whenever it seems important, I try to get out of everything for them. Today my wife had her consult with the anesthesiologists to determine whether her disability would or wouldn't allow for an epidural or other spine-based pain management during delivery. Thought it was important so I took a half day, including my only absence so far from the after-school program, so I could be there.

First off, the hospital we had to go to, because it'll be our delivery hospital, has the worst setup ever. Sure, it's really convenient because it has fairly new facilities and lots of restaurants, convenience stores, and pharmacies attached or close by, but none of the buildings are clearly labeled. We had to be in building D, but there was nothing indicating where that was, on signs or in Google Maps, so I had to blindly enter a parking garage and hope it was the right one. It was, but the only parking was on the uncovered top level, during rain. The parking garage like a quarter mile away at her OB, in the same complex, is like 100x better, but at least I found something.

Then my wife arrived, coming from a work meeting. She got lost because of the lack of clear signs, then also had trouble finding parking. I told her to park where I did, but because of a "House Staff" sign on that level, she was freaking out that she'd be towed. Oh, and we had five minutes until our appointment, and doctors can be really anal about arrival times. So I checked with a security officer, who assured me that it was fine to park there because they know parking can suck, so I passed that along and ran up to the office to let them know we were running late.

Two minutes later, cue frantic, tearful phone call from my wife:

Me: Just come down to level 2, enter through the bridge to the building, and I'll meet you there.
Her: I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE I AM ON LEVEL 2 AND THERE'S TWO GUYS FIGHTING NEARBY AND I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE DRUNK OR NOT!

Ran back to the garage to basically find her hiding in a corner but no sign of anything she said she saw. Walked her inside, grabbed her a wheelchair to get her off her already shaky feet, and wheeled her up for our 1:00 appointment. It was 1:15, but at least I had checked in and got the okay that we could be a little late.

Didn't get called back until almost 2:15. To meet with a doctor who was super tall but had the face of a middle-schooler. Seriously, if you had stuffed him into a trenchcoat, I would've sworn he could've been 2-3 kids on each other's shoulders. Spent half the meeting taking medical history from my wife that he should've already had from her files (and in quite a few cases, he even said, "Oh yes, I saw that in your records") and the fact that most, if not all, of her numerous specialists work at the same hospital. And all of this just to tell her no epidurals or spinal pain management due to her well established Spina Bifida, which is something they could've told us over the phone.

At the very least, the next time we have to go to that part of the hospital complex should be delivery day, at which point we'll be in a single car and I'll find a way to unload her a hell of a lot closer to the entrance.
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