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Old October 31st, 2016, 08:36 PM #41
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Primo Ron White wrote: View Post

Has he been trying, though? It seems a bit weird to want to date and be that age without ever having once dated before.
He's just now been trying to in the past couple of years. Without putting too much of his business out there, he had a pretty shitty childhood that severely crippled his self esteem and his social life. In the state he was in as a teenager, it would have been impossible for him to have been in any kind of relationship, let alone a healthy one. Hell, even now I'd still say he's not ready for any kind of committed relationship. He's more ready than he was 4 years ago. But he's still got things about himself that he needs to take care of before he worries about any of that. I'm just happy he's not so hung up on being a virgin anymore. That was another issue I had to talk to him about, because he almost made a very poor choice.
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Old October 31st, 2016, 08:45 PM #42
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Yeah that's a struggle for me as well, I easily run out of things to say, it's frustrating Beyond to hell on how I like the normal social skills and conversation skills that most people have it seems in order to connect with other people, it doesn't help at all that I sort of have autism specifically it's called Asperger's, I know people will say the only disability out there is a bad attitude but still it affects people social skills no doubt about that
Well, Asperger's does explain quite a bit, but it's also not an excuse. Yes, it makes social situations more difficult, but not impossible. I know people who are on the spectrum, but who are also happily married and in one case, with a child. Fuck, people have wondered at times if I'm living with Asperger's, quite out loud really. The answer will never be forums or dating coaches or statistics. You'd be better off, most likely, finding a therapist who specializes in the autism spectrum and working from there, and the persistent advice is going to be to not proceed until you do that, because you are clearly not ready to be in a relationship.

And now I'm really curious how many of these "she led me on" situations were simply misread social cues.

PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Reason why it seems that way it's from browsing a lot of different forums out there and seeing people make posts like that
But statistically, and yes I'll talk statistically in hopes that it'll make an impact, you're only seeing a very small percentage of the human population. Hell, even if you cut it down to just the United States, the percentage is still far too small to be statistically significant. You're just inflating the meaning and the power of the numbers.
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Old October 31st, 2016, 09:02 PM #43
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

it doesn't help at all that I sort of have autism specifically it's called Asperger's, I know people will say the only disability out there is a bad attitude but still it affects people social skills no doubt about that
Putting this out there, and I've said it before here: A LOT of this board is autistic. Like, a lot a lot. There is seriously no need to hide it and treat it s this shame you can't bear to talk about it. That just makes trying to help you more complicated than it needed to be for the others here.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 01:34 AM #44
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Reason why it seems that way it's from browsing a lot of different forums out there and seeing people make posts like that
But, again, why does that matter to you? It's not a good thing or a bad thing, just a random thing.

And even if it were true, it's just making you bitter, so since you have the option not to buy into it, just don't buy into it and you'll instantly feel a little better about life.


Blue22 wrote: View Post

He's just now been trying to in the past couple of years.
Okay, that makes a lot more sense.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 05:55 AM #45
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Derp Derpingwood the 3rd wrote: View Post

Well, Asperger's does explain quite a bit, but it's also not an excuse. Yes, it makes social situations more difficult, but not impossible. I know people who are on the spectrum, but who are also happily married and in one case, with a child. Fuck, people have wondered at times if I'm living with Asperger's, quite out loud really. The answer will never be forums or dating coaches or statistics. You'd be better off, most likely, finding a therapist who specializes in the autism spectrum and working from there, and the persistent advice is going to be to not proceed until you do that, because you are clearly not ready to be in a relationship.

And now I'm really curious how many of these "she led me on" situations were simply misread social cues.



But statistically, and yes I'll talk statistically in hopes that it'll make an impact, you're only seeing a very small percentage of the human population. Hell, even if you cut it down to just the United States, the percentage is still far too small to be statistically significant. You're just inflating the meaning and the power of the numbers.
ya, i'd say the reason why i'm clearly not ready to be in a relationship is because of my attitude and mindset, i'm guessing thats what you are implying.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 05:59 AM #46
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20 bucks short for rent due to bank fees being ridiculous this month apparently.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 07:35 AM #47
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I'm seriously becoming disillusioned with the world, particularly when it comes to prejudice. Everywhere you look, some fucknut is justifying their backwards hatred. Comments on the internet, the political climate in the Western world, even casual interactions between people, you can't escape it.

Horrible comments on YouTube by users with racist or homophobic names and icons. You say to yourself, well, it's YouTube, it's a cesspool, they're probably edgy teens or trolls. You try to move on. Then you see it on Reddit. Well, Reddit's another cesspool, just move on. Then you see similar rhetoric in places like RangerBoard that you think are generally sensible, or just randomly on the internet where you wouldn't expect to find that garbage. Is the internet just one giant cesspool?

But then it seeps into offline life.

You notice that a lot of people tend to automatically segregate themselves into cliques of the same colour. It doesn't even seem conscious, but it happens. Then there are the people who are unabashedly racist.

"They should sink all the boats." (talking about immigrants trying to reach Europe)
"I'm glad he died." (talking about Alan Kurdi)
"I would never set foot in that side of the world." (talking about Asia in general)
"I would vote for Trump if I lived in the US."

These are all things I've heard and have been shocked by. Ironically, the most anti-immigration and racist person I know offline is an immigrant from Europe. But he thinks he's special because he's white.

Even people I know who try to raise awareness of the atrocities in the Middle East don't seem to give a shit about the things happening to black people in the US.

Then there's all the right-wing bullshit everywhere. Trump for president, Brexit, Russia, people in Eastern Europe being "respected" for their deep-seated racism and xenophobia and unwillingness to accept other cultures as if that's something to be proud of. Literally "duuuhhhh, most of my country is white and I've never seen a person of another skin colour before, so naturally I'm going to just hate them." And that's supposedly something to respect.

What the fuck is actually wrong with the world? If you're not right-wing, you're a libtard, because god forbid anyone actually gives a fuck about people who aren't exactly like them. God forbid anyone has any empathy. You're a SJW if you point out that people do not have the right to expect something in return for treating another human being civilly. If you show outrage at someone using hate speech, you are trying to "take away their right to free speech."

Riot when their guns are taken away, but don't bat an eyelid at wanton police brutality and murder. After all, the victims aren't white. They "act like animals," they say. Meanwhile, some white college guy rapes someone and the judge takes pity, it's a "shame" because he has a "promising future." Funny how no one is executing him for "acting like an animal."

Who the fuck are they to decide anyone's rights? Why is that even a question? They want to hang on to traditional values, well they fucking can, but why does that mean some backwards straight white guy can tell gays they can't marry, and women they can't abort? Why do people think they have a say in how other people choose to live their lives, because they fucking do not. It doesn't matter who they are. No one gives a fuck about your views on abortion, it's not your uterus, it's not your body. Fuck off. No one gives a fuck about your views on gay marriage, don't marry a gay if you don't like it, but once again, fuck off with your bullshit.

People kill themselves every day because of the venomous abuse they get for being gay. That's a life lost because people hated that person for who they were and death was the only option than to live with that. People sicken me.

It's all making me belligerent, if you can't tell. And what pisses me off even more is that people do nothing about it. Trump tells his supporters to riot and not accept defeat. What about the rest of us? Why do we put up with this? People like Trump try to destroy our countries and people do nothing.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 02:05 PM #48
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Brown Ranger wrote: View Post

I have told you all before in the previous thread about my oldest sister getting oral cancer in her tongue. Her therapies and doctor visits all over and she goes home in 2 weeks, one week before her 58 birthday. I'm so glad it's all over for her as she heads back home to California.
So she's officially in remission?

Wonderful to hear, man.



Yami_Wheeler wrote: View Post

You notice that a lot of people tend to automatically segregate themselves into cliques of the same colour. It doesn't even seem conscious, but it happens.
That's really neither here nor there. We as a primal species feel comfortable around people who look like us because they remind us of ourselves. And as an advanced species, people who often live in the same area or have the same financial bracket or the same educational background tend to look the same.

People kill themselves every day because of the venomous abuse they get for being gay.
And this isn't a very fair way to evaluate the situation.

Should people be bullied for their sexual preference? Absolutely not. But you killing yourself over it was a choice you made, no one can force your hand to make that decision. Committing suicide on those grounds means their opinion of you became your opinion of yourself, and at some point you have to take responsibility for giving in to the peer pressure.

Why do people think they have a say in how other people choose to live their lives, because they fucking do not.
And that's all that really needs to be adhered to.

You have to be the change you want to see. The dismissive minds pissing you off is all part of the plan, because the angrier you get, the more unfocused and hopeless you become, the less you do to make the world a better place and prove their original point. Just ignore them the same way they like to ignore the problems they're perpetuating.

Do you like yourself? Do you feel you're as open-minded as you could possibly be? Then you're enough to make all the difference.

Is the internet just one giant cesspool?
Yes.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 02:42 PM #49
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Everyone feels like a victim in the face of the world. Life is absurd.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 02:58 PM #50
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Got about 25 sick days saved up at work (because they're the only ones that carry over from year to year) along with 5 family sick days, and two personal days. Found out today that I'm only allowed to use the family sick days and the personal days when my daughter is born if I want to stay home and spend some time with her. I can sort of understand where they're coming from, but at the same time, I've got someone already willing to sub for me any day I need to be out (because she's desperate for sub calls) so I feel like it shouldn't be a huge deal if I take a few sick days on top of that.

Some people will probably suggest I just use the sick days anyway, but they'll know something is up and probably request a doctor's note, which I won't have unless I manage to also become sick. But that's not good either, as being sick means I'd probably have to keep my distance from my wife and daughter for that time.

PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

ya, i'd say the reason why i'm clearly not ready to be in a relationship is because of my attitude and mindset, i'm guessing thats what you are implying.
That's essentially what we've been flat out saying since the beginning, not just implying.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 05:43 PM #51
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Derp Derpingwood the 3rd wrote: View Post

Got about 25 sick days saved up at work (because they're the only ones that carry over from year to year) along with 5 family sick days, and two personal days. Found out today that I'm only allowed to use the family sick days and the personal days when my daughter is born if I want to stay home and spend some time with her. I can sort of understand where they're coming from, but at the same time, I've got someone already willing to sub for me any day I need to be out (because she's desperate for sub calls) so I feel like it shouldn't be a huge deal if I take a few sick days on top of that.

Some people will probably suggest I just use the sick days anyway, but they'll know something is up and probably request a doctor's note, which I won't have unless I manage to also become sick. But that's not good either, as being sick means I'd probably have to keep my distance from my wife and daughter for that time.



That's essentially what we've been flat out saying since the beginning, not just implying.
ya, i know many will disagree but if a guy has a bad, horrible, negative attitude, he is a worse candidate for a relationship than if a woman is like that, in other words, it's far more important for a guy to be mentally and emotionally healthy, stable, in control of his emotions, more than the other way around.

For as long as i can remember, i've always hated these phrases with a huge passion, they are "Man up, Grow a Pair or Grow some Balls", those phrases really make me feel like hitting, punching a dude in the face really hard.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 05:50 PM #52
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

ya, i know many will disagree but if a guy has a bad, horrible, negative attitude, he is a worse candidate for a relationship than if a woman is like that, in other words, it's far more important for a guy to be mentally and emotionally healthy, stable, in control of his emotions, more than the other way around.
Holy shit stop. You literally made me face-palm here with how you are not listening to anything that anyone is saying to you.

Stop making gender something so important.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 06:30 PM #53
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

ya, i know many will disagree but if a guy has a bad, horrible, negative attitude, he is a worse candidate for a relationship than if a woman is like that, in other words, it's far more important for a guy to be mentally and emotionally healthy, stable, in control of his emotions, more than the other way around.

For as long as i can remember, i've always hated these phrases with a huge passion, they are "Man up, Grow a Pair or Grow some Balls", those phrases really make me feel like hitting, punching a dude in the face really hard.
...And here's where I wash my hands of the whole thing, because I'm now convinced we'll never actually get through to you. You'll forever play the victim, and at this rate your future with dating is going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 08:18 PM #54
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Derp Derpingwood the 3rd wrote: View Post

...And here's where I wash my hands of the whole thing, because I'm now convinced we'll never actually get through to you. You'll forever play the victim, and at this rate your future with dating is going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why shouldn't I punch a guy in the face for telling me to Man up or grow a pair, grow some balls? Are you saying i should embrace those phrases?
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Old November 1st, 2016, 08:33 PM #55
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Why shouldn't I punch a guy in the face for telling me to Man up or grow a pair, grow some balls? Are you saying i should embrace those phrases?
...Okay, I'm washing my hands AFTER facepalming at the fact that you're completely missing my point.

By saying you're playing the victim, I'm referring more to the fact that you'd rather sit here and blame everything on perceived inequalities based off of statistically insignificant observations than make any true efforts to change your way of thinking and therefore actually give yourself a real opportunity at what you want.

Have a nice life, kid, and hopefully someday you'll get out of your own way.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 08:38 PM #56
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Why shouldn't I punch a guy in the face for telling me to Man up or grow a pair, grow some balls? Are you saying i should embrace those phrases?
If the alternative is punching... Yes. Accept the differences.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 08:45 PM #57
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Why shouldn't I punch a guy in the face for telling me to Man up or grow a pair, grow some balls? Are you saying i should embrace those phrases?
Because violence doesn't solve anything? Dude, how old are you? Aspergers is not an excuse for this.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 08:50 PM #58
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Why shouldn't I punch a guy in the face for telling me to Man up or grow a pair, grow some balls? Are you saying i should embrace those phrases?
Pragmatically speaking, you should be nice to everyone you meet because fighting everyone or being hostile tends to ''complicate'' matters. Unless forced of course.
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Old November 1st, 2016, 08:51 PM #59
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If you date girls, they give you a laundry list of what to do so you have a right to even exist and not be considered a rapist. If you are gay, or try boys, you might find support and people who know being alive doesn't mean being perfect by someone's standard and that talking means communication and not games of "I am screaming nothing is wrong. Guess what is wrong".
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Old November 1st, 2016, 09:09 PM #60
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Why shouldn't I punch a guy in the face for telling me to Man up or grow a pair, grow some balls? Are you saying i should embrace those phrases?
Do...do you really need to ask why you shouldn't punch someone just because they said something you don't like? I feel like this shouldn't even be a question.

Never mind the fact that it totally misses the point of what they were telling you
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