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Old October 29th, 2016, 01:17 AM #21
> AkaPrimoWhiteDragon
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PopCultureLover06 wrote:
What do you mean that construct is far more even than you want to accept? It's very rare for a girl to make the first move or ask a guy out first
But it isn't, though, that's exactly what I mean.

Women ask men out. Women haven't asked you out, and you're making that the world. That's self-absorption on a massive level, and women hate self-absorbed men. The very lessons you need to learn are significant barriers to the exact outcome you're trying to attain.

I've always felt for years now that it's men who have to take more responsibility or accept more responsibility in life than women do
Another massive falsehood.

Hell, I can name one thing right now that shoots that entire theory in the foot: Motherhood. The very biological processes men cannot accomplish no matter how hard they try alone blow anything we could ever be asked to do for our wives in a lifetime out of the water. If you're going to believe in arcane standards, you can't not believe in that one.

And back to the point, I've asked you this before, where does this aversion to responsibility on your part come from? Yes, it's a drag, that's why it's called responsibility, but everyone on Earth, men and women, have to do things sometimes. Things that make them nervous, things that make them tired, but also things that make them smarter, stronger, and proud. Stop looking at everything you don't have and can't do as unmoveable obstacles, and start looking at them as worthwhile challenges.

this dating coach on the East Coast named Brad Holiday
And why does his opinion matter to you? He's a salesman, and obscuring the truth is a key tactic to selling, because anything absolute sells itself. Compare that to at least three people here who have no reason to care about you at all, don't know your name or your face, receive no money from you or for saying what we're saying right now, people who have no reason to lie to you at all. Maybe our collective opinion holds a little weight, don't you think?

I don't know how long you've felt the way you feel about women, about responsibility, or about yourself, but what good things are those feelings bringing you at the moment? If you're "filled with rage", I would suggest trying something else, anything else, just as long as it makes you think positively. Positivity makes all the difference, positivity makes us different people.
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Old October 29th, 2016, 04:17 AM #22
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I am somewhat annoyed that Hallmark started their Countdown to Christmas today. I think it's probably more because The Golden Girls is preempted until January 2, but the whole "before Halloween is even over" thing is a bit much.
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Old October 29th, 2016, 05:30 AM #23
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As I've heard through gospel radio, PopCultureLover06 just can't say "I am wrong" and leave it at that. You're not in a good place already if you don't want to initiate.

Love's a bitter river to travel. No, the examples given here, or anywhere else, can't really dilute a person's initial sexual urges or need to date or the wait to be mature enough to receive either and eventually realize it ain't the biggest deal.
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Old October 29th, 2016, 10:13 AM #24
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I've pretty much given up on any chance with any girl. There is no girl that has ever, or will ever, be interested in me romatically, attracted to me sexually, or otherwise give a shit about me or my existence.

At best, I'll be the guy she settles for while she guy she really wants doesn't have his shit together, but I'm not really OK with that. I'd rather just be alone.
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Old October 29th, 2016, 10:18 AM #25
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Mr. Underachiever wrote: View Post

I've pretty much given up on any chance with any girl. There is no girl that has ever, or will ever, be interested in me romatically, attracted to me sexually, or otherwise give a shit about me or my existence.

At best, I'll be the guy she settles for while she guy she really wants doesn't have his shit together, but I'm not really OK with that. I'd rather just be alone.
Well she's definitely not going to be into you with that attitude.
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Old October 29th, 2016, 10:30 AM #26
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Kaigan wrote: View Post

Well she's definitely not going to be into you with that attitude.
She wouldn't be into me regardless, so I don't know what your point is.
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Old October 29th, 2016, 10:33 AM #27
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Mr. Underachiever wrote: View Post

She wouldn't be into me regardless, so I don't know what your point is.
But why? What is it about you that even makes you think that?
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Old October 29th, 2016, 10:44 AM #28
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This thread escalated quickly.
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Old October 29th, 2016, 10:51 AM #29
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Mr. Underachiever wrote: View Post

She wouldn't be into me regardless, so I don't know what your point is.
That's self destructive. If you have that mentality then you're doomed to fail from the get go. A shred of self confidence goes a long way, man. Trust me.

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The hell did the walnut do to you?
Oh they know what they did.
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Old October 29th, 2016, 10:54 AM #30
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ѾLord Stop The Pain wrote: View Post

That's self destructive. If you have that mentality then you're doomed to fail from the get go. A shred of self confidence goes a long way, man. Trust me.
Really, though, displaying self-confidence can go a long way. Going into a scenario obviously nervous or with the mentality it's already going to fail and go nowhere IS noticeable to both men and women. My former bf was quite successful in his teens and early 20s and now he can basically get anyone to fall for him without even trying because he just exudes confidence in the way he moves and talks. XD On a side note, we;re fairly certain it's inadvertently outed a coworker of his as bi...
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Old October 29th, 2016, 11:04 AM #31
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I've always been a firm believe in the "there's at least one person out there for everyone" mindset, and just because it takes you a little longer than others to find someone who's at least willing to go out with you, doesn't mean it's impossible. But whether or not you ever find them is totally up to you.

You're definitely not gonna attract anybody if you spend all your time doubting yourself and bellyaching over the fact that you don't have anyone. And you definitely shouldn't just be expecting someone to approach you. Sometimes you gotta be the one to try and initiate things (and if that doesn't work, learn how to take no for answer and move onto the other fish in the sea).

I have to tell my friend that all the time because the fact that he's now in his 20s and has never even been on a date is getting to him (it doesn't help that both of his teenage siblings now have significant others. I had to have a looooong convo about how that has nothing to do with him). At some point you just gotta stop worrying about stuff like that and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Not being in a relationship is not the end of the world.
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Old October 30th, 2016, 01:19 AM #32
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kibapower wrote: View Post

Love's a bitter river to travel. No, the examples given here, or anywhere else, can't really dilute a person's initial sexual urges or need to date or the wait to be mature enough to receive either and eventually realize it ain't the biggest deal.
But no one's asking him not to feel what he's feeling, just to accept his preconceived notions aren't hard facts.

What he's feeling is hard if not impossible to turn off. What he's thinking can be altered the second he wants to alter it, and can almost instantly increase his odds of finally having a relationship. But of course as stated, the health and length of that relationship cannot be controlled by him alone.

Mr. Underachiever wrote: View Post

I've pretty much given up on any chance with any girl. There is no girl that has ever, or will ever, be interested in me romatically, attracted to me sexually, or otherwise give a shit about me or my existence.
My only question to you would be if you've given up on yourself. Do you like you?

If yes, there's still plenty of girls for you. You just have to keep looking, which can be exhausting, and then comes back to the idea of just how badly you want it. Or you could just stop looking and remain completely hopeful, distracting yourself by focusing on what it is you want to accomplish personally and stumbling onto love later.

But if you don't give a shit about your own existence, why should anyone else? As the saying goes, every job is sales, and that includes selling yourself. A commercial that just says "buy this" doesn't stand the best chance of making the product fly off the shelf.

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I have to tell my friend that all the time because the fact that he's now in his 20s and has never even been on a date is getting to him (it doesn't help that both of his teenage siblings now have significant others. I had to have a looooong convo about how that has nothing to do with him).
Has he been trying, though? It seems a bit weird to want to date and be that age without ever having once dated before.

But, again, just because some of us don't think much of it doesn't mean it doesn't still matter to those it matters to. The takeaway still has to be that girlfriends are not material things, so even when you finally get one doesn't solve the problem and can in fact make things worse if you then lose what you've been searching for so long. You still have to build up what makes you love yourself to ever survive loving someone else.
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Old October 30th, 2016, 11:55 AM #33
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For the longest time, I've felt like this too. It seems I'm not approachable because I'm too serious and intense.
What can I say?
I like being that way.
I find it hard initiating conversations with women. I can never find what to talk about.
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Old October 30th, 2016, 02:34 PM #34
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B-kun wrote: View Post

Really, though, displaying self-confidence can go a long way. Going into a scenario obviously nervous or with the mentality it's already going to fail and go nowhere IS noticeable to both men and women. My former bf was quite successful in his teens and early 20s and now he can basically get anyone to fall for him without even trying because he just exudes confidence in the way he moves and talks. XD On a side note, we;re fairly certain it's inadvertently outed a coworker of his as bi...
Ya my brother is an example, he's 23 and never had a girlfriend, and I've felt for a while now that there are more guys out there in the world than girls in that age bracket who have never had a relationship before
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Old October 30th, 2016, 02:56 PM #35
> AkaPrimoWhiteDragon
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

I've felt for a while now that there are more guys out there in the world than girls in that age bracket who have never had a relationship before
My apologies if I come off rude, but I pry because I care.

May I ask why all of these statistics seem to matter so much to you? First, you don't even know that for sure. Second, there's no telling if there's a "winning" side to the idea, as the value of any romance is determinate on the two people in that romance.

But above all, there's never going to come a point in time this whole "guys this and girls this" fixation you're exhibiting is going to get you or anyone anywhere. It's placing a limit on both what you believe you and the rest of the world is capable of.
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Old October 30th, 2016, 03:06 PM #36
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Primo Ron White wrote: View Post



Has he been trying, though? It seems a bit weird to want to date and be that age without ever having once dated before.
I'm not sure I agree with that, let alone understand that.
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Old October 30th, 2016, 03:52 PM #37
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Phoenix-Ikki wrote: View Post

For the longest time, I've felt like this too. It seems I'm not approachable because I'm too serious and intense.
What can I say?
I like being that way.
I find it hard initiating conversations with women. I can never find what to talk about.
Yeah that's a struggle for me as well, I easily run out of things to say, it's frustrating Beyond to hell on how I like the normal social skills and conversation skills that most people have it seems in order to connect with other people, it doesn't help at all that I sort of have autism specifically it's called Asperger's, I know people will say the only disability out there is a bad attitude but still it affects people social skills no doubt about that
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Old October 30th, 2016, 05:35 PM #38
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Storm Eagle wrote: View Post

I'm not sure I agree with that, let alone understand that.
I would see it if he wasn't having a lot of luck at the moment, that's only natural. But never being on a date in your entire life and not for lack of trying is something I need a little more clarification on.

A pleasant individual engaging in a number of social situations not excluding dating websites and not getting so much as a bite in multiple years would get to me too.
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Old October 31st, 2016, 08:24 PM #39
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Primo Ron White wrote: View Post

My apologies if I come off rude, but I pry because I care.

May I ask why all of these statistics seem to matter so much to you? First, you don't even know that for sure. Second, there's no telling if there's a "winning" side to the idea, as the value of any romance is determinate on the two people in that romance.

But above all, there's never going to come a point in time this whole "guys this and girls this" fixation you're exhibiting is going to get you or anyone anywhere. It's placing a limit on both what you believe you and the rest of the world is capable of.
Reason why it seems that way it's from browsing a lot of different forums out there and seeing people make posts like that
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Old October 31st, 2016, 08:27 PM #40
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

Reason why it seems that way it's from browsing a lot of different forums out there and seeing people make posts like that
Here's an idea.

Stop looking at those forums. Stop caring what happened to other people. Start focusing on yourself.
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