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Old July 11th, 2019, 04:50 PM #2281
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

i'm also mad, pissed off at him because he never gave a reason as to why he didn't want to speak to me again or reconnect with me in the first place.
Same as I told Dyl, a person disconnecting from you doesn't always have to involve you doing something wrong. We choose to think it's our fault because that's what we can control and work on, when the truth is the one who left simply didn't care about us the same way we cared about them.

And like I've told you before, it doesn't do you any good at all to harbor resentment. This guy you're talking about most likely isn't thinking about you at all, yet you're spending your valuable consciousness on hating him. We all can elect to move past the shortcomings of others, and use that as learning experiences before accepting the next bad friendship.
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Old July 11th, 2019, 04:59 PM #2282
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Childhood friends are a thing of proximity and once you no longer have that unifying aspect of school or doing the same hobbies they're naturally going to fall apart. That's just the reality of it. Those that don't are largely the exception, not the rule.
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Old July 11th, 2019, 05:59 PM #2283
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I find it incredibly hard to make new friends as an adult, and the only friend I have that lives within physical hang out distance is engaged to someone who lives 3 hours away so he is not around much anymore. I have plenty of people to talk to, but I crave physical interaction with people. I don't get all the social energy I need from simply electronic friends. I also don't want to put the burden of keeping me entertained and involved soley into the hands of my wife and daughter as that's not fair to them and they are both intense introverts and can't handle the level of social interaction I require to stay sane.
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Old July 11th, 2019, 06:07 PM #2284
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Xenotome wrote: View Post

Childhood friends are a thing of proximity and once you no longer have that unifying aspect of school or doing the same hobbies they're naturally going to fall apart. That's just the reality of it. Those that don't are largely the exception, not the rule.
sounds like losing touch, growing apart or drifting apart from childhood friends is relatively common, not unusual at all, I believe it's common and normal to lose friends during the teenage years right? and same with after high school right?

I know there was a similar discussion on many pages back, but that case involved a guy and girl, i'm more talking about losing friendships of the same gender.

Ya, reason why this hurt me hard emotionally, is because I thought me and my childhood friend, would have a good reason to reconnect, become friends again, due to noticing that he enjoys attending similar events like I do, and it's often said when you share the same hobbies, mutual interests, its one of the biggest or main foundations for starting and retaining friendships.

But sadly it didn't happen.
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Old July 11th, 2019, 06:54 PM #2285
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Some things just aren't meant to be.
It's something that you just have to learn as you get older.
You could both like a thousand of the same things, but if that person just doesn't want to be friends with you, then nothing will change that.

On my side of venting,
Said this in the VIP thread, but I got my car back today.
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Old July 11th, 2019, 10:57 PM #2286
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TuxedoK wrote: View Post

Some things just aren't meant to be.
It's something that you just have to learn as you get older.
You could both like a thousand of the same things, but if that person just doesn't want to be friends with you, then nothing will change that.

On my side of venting,
Said this in the VIP thread, but I got my car back today.
ya, reminds me how I screwed up on my part, I was stubborn in the sense that I didn't want to give up, but unfortuneately it backfired, i think its normal and natural for people to assume, if someone doesn't want to reconnect with you or speak to you again, its easy, normal to assume that person holds a grudge towards you or something against you, i just don't get certain people at times.
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Old July 11th, 2019, 11:29 PM #2287
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It's not even that people can have a grudge. You gotta learn that sometimes people will just cut another person out of their life, for good or bad reasons. And that's that.

Hell, there are a couple people in my life that I used to be best friends with.
And now they are dead to me.
There is nothing in the world they could do to make me want to interact with them again.

Or another person ghosted me because I moved a chair in their house.

Life is just like that at times.
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Old July 12th, 2019, 12:53 AM #2288
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TuxedoK wrote: View Post

Or another person ghosted me because I moved a chair in their house
I hate to imagine this happening at dinner...
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Old July 12th, 2019, 12:57 AM #2289
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

i just don't get certain people at times.
That's the important takeaway.

What other people think of us is none of our business. We don't get to own the way they treat us, and the concept that there's something we can do or say to change how we're being treated by them is a desperate attempt to take ownership.
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Old July 12th, 2019, 01:23 AM #2290
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TuxedoK wrote: View Post

Or another person ghosted me because I moved a chair in their house.
That seems like a really extreme over-reaction to something very trivial.

I imagine my ex-coworker is probably having this similar conversation with people these days. He reacted to my news of a scary medical condition by asking me if it was a chance for personal growth, he begged me not to listen to my doctors (despite the fact he knows nothing about medicine), he gave me a three-hour lecture on why doctors are evil and I shouldn't listen to them ... and in last July, I'm certain it was him who told my bosses, "Pete shouldn't come back to work, at all" leaving me unemployed, on top of everything else.

I defriended him, took his number out of my phone, I go out of my way to avoid him ... but I imagine him being upset at me for ghosting him.

So I guess, now that I think about it? Yeah, I ghosted him.

I think I had good reasons for it, though. With friends like that, who needs enemies, you know?
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Old July 12th, 2019, 05:01 AM #2291
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PopCultureLover06 wrote: View Post

I know there was a similar discussion on many pages back, but that case involved a guy and girl, i'm more talking about losing friendships of the same gender.
I think you might be talking about me, as I made a post about that topic, way back in June 2018.

Sometimes, I'm afraid of making friends because I'm scared they might eventually leave me. Sadly, my phobia of this has increased.
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Old July 12th, 2019, 07:57 AM #2292
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Swore I would'nt order a pizza for dinner until Monday.

Ended up ordering one today under the rational that it "didn't count" as it was a Chocco Pizza dessert.
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Old July 12th, 2019, 09:39 AM #2293
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Cameron Samurai wrote: View Post

I hate to imagine this happening at dinner...
Wrestlemania party actual.
To be fair, I have a bad back at times and didn't want to sit in a folding chair.
Plus it's not like I didn't put it back when I was done
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Old July 12th, 2019, 11:25 AM #2294
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CookiePrince wrote: View Post

Sometimes, I'm afraid of making friends because I'm scared they might eventually leave me. Sadly, my phobia of this has increased.
Where is the real terror? In the person abandoning you, or in being alone? Because those are two significantly different feelings to manage.


Cameron Samurai wrote: View Post

Swore I would'nt order a pizza for dinner until Monday.

Ended up ordering one today under the rational that it "didn't count" as it was a Chocco Pizza dessert.
Well, unless whatever a Chocco Pizza is has cheese on it, it doesn't count.
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Old July 12th, 2019, 11:37 AM #2295
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AkaPrimoKanyeWest wrote: View Post

Well, unless whatever a Chocco Pizza is has cheese on it, it doesn't count.
Do you get chocco pizza through your Dominoes? If so, it's usually the size of a regular medium sized Pizza, only it has a very sugary butter base and the topping is just pure hot chocolate spread. I felt afterwards like I traded one unhealthy meal for another.
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Old July 12th, 2019, 12:01 PM #2296
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Cameron Samurai wrote: View Post

I felt afterwards like I traded one unhealthy meal for another.
Eh, so what? We only live once.

Just as long as you eat better the majority of the time, there's no need to beat yourself up.
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Old July 12th, 2019, 10:08 PM #2297
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AkaPrimoKanyeWest wrote: View Post

Where is the real terror? In the person abandoning you, or in being alone? Because those are two significantly different feelings to manage.
Both situations frighten me, so it's kind of a double edged sword. A part of me doesn't want to get emotionally close to people, in case they ever decide to leave me.

I did lose a few friends, but I did manage to make some new ones, as well. I met a few people on Overwatch, a couple of days ago. However, I don't think I'll ever be emotionally close to them as I am with some of my other friends.
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Old July 12th, 2019, 11:01 PM #2298
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CookiePrince wrote: View Post

Both situations frighten me, so it's kind of a double edged sword. A part of me doesn't want to get emotionally close to people, in case they ever decide to leave me.
The reason I ask is because not getting close to people means you've already prematurely reached the isolation you so fear, the self-fulfilling prophecy angle.

Was there some defining moment where you decided that you are someone worth excommunicating, or did someone no longer associating with you give you that impression of yourself and now you can't shake it off? Because either way, it's a massive exaggeration. Every inter-personal relationship is different and can't be viewed through an identical lens.
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Old July 13th, 2019, 04:00 AM #2299
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AkaPrimoKanyeWest wrote: View Post

Eh, so what? We only live once.
Speak for yourself....
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Old July 13th, 2019, 04:47 AM #2300
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AkaPrimoKanyeWest wrote: View Post

The reason I ask is because not getting close to people means you've already prematurely reached the isolation you so fear, the self-fulfilling prophecy angle.

Was there some defining moment where you decided that you are someone worth excommunicating, or did someone no longer associating with you give you that impression of yourself and now you can't shake it off? Because either way, it's a massive exaggeration. Every inter-personal relationship is different and can't be viewed through an identical lens.
You bring up a great point in your first paragraph. Like my therapist once told me, it's better to be with someone temporarily than to be lonely all the time.

I felt like I was worth excommunicating, when that girl decided to block me on Twitter, a year ago. Luckily, a few of our mutual friends still like to talk to me. I've also started to become closer to one of my other female friends, over the last year.
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