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Old September 24th, 2018, 03:48 AM #61
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fb111a wrote: View Post

Read a few chapters... so far, a very intriguing look into a cartoon I liked when I was young...
Thanks for your interest

Have you seen the rebooted series? That's what these particular fanfics are based upon.

It's been an interesting process being apart of the fanfiction community for the show , the DM fandom at large is pretty deep, often using the characters to explore depressing themes such as self-harm, homosexuality, and suicide. I'm not as bold, I generally just write 'ship-teasing fluff with the occasional foray into action and comedy.

It's also a rewarding experiance, as the showrunners have really ramped up the Squawk/Penfold 'shipping in recent episodes. I won't soon forget "A Fistful of Penfolds" in a hurry.
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Old September 24th, 2018, 06:45 AM #62
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Cameron Samurai wrote: View Post

Thanks for your interest

Have you seen the rebooted series? That's what these particular fanfics are based upon.

It's been an interesting process being apart of the fanfiction community for the show , the DM fandom at large is pretty deep, often using the characters to explore depressing themes such as self-harm, homosexuality, and suicide. I'm not as bold, I generally just write 'ship-teasing fluff with the occasional foray into action and comedy.

It's also a rewarding experiance, as the showrunners have really ramped up the Squawk/Penfold 'shipping in recent episodes. I won't soon forget "A Fistful of Penfolds" in a hurry.
Nope, just the classic series so far...
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Old September 30th, 2018, 06:52 AM #63
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(Contains spoilers for "A Fistful of Penfolds")

The west side of London had never seen such peril.

Well, Ok, maybe it has seen it's fair share of peril, but this had been a fairly quiet couple of days up until this point, so let me rephrase that and say the west side of London had never seen such danger all weekend.

Professor Squawkencluck's Tenfold battalion had been turned against her by the rogue droid who had christened himself Meanfold, and only the imperfections of Danger Mouse's faithful sidekick Penfold were the means by which they were brought to a halt.

London was saved and lessons were learned.

But that's not all that had happened that day, oh no.

Some of our favourite people took a bold step forward, and now the time had come to talk.

The Colonel had decided to spend the rest of the weekend riding off into uncharted territory on horseback, leaving the Danger Agency unmanned.

Normally, this would be the ideal time to throw a party, but the agents were already debating furiously over whom best would replace the Colonel in command until his return. Danger Mouse was caught up in the heated exchanges trying to throw his own name into the prize raffle hat.

That's right; they're holding a random raffle to determine the new commander-in-chief.

Even I, your humble narrator, have a horse in this race.

That horse's name happens to be Ed; he's been on Channel 5 nature documentaries. Lovely animal.

Yes, Commander-In-Chief, you'd think DM's able assistant would be eager to start calling him that if he's fortunate enough to win.

But that is not what is on Penfold's mind this evening as he remains held up in Professor Squawkencluck's lab.

He stood there, his fingers twiddling, he spotted the taser the Professor had been using on the Tenfold army to bring them to order whenever an imperfection in their programming had been detected, a mistake which had turned the prototype into Meanfold and caused the whole mess.

Penfold wandered if the emotional imperfections he was feeling now would go away if he took the taser device and zapped himself with it, maybe it would annoy the Professor and she'd tell him off and send him scampering out of the lab, and thus avoid all of the awkwardness.

No, he couldn't evade this, to provide distance between the Elephant and the room was not the answer he was looking for, it wouldn't be fair to him, or to her.

It starts with one thing

"So...Professor, I just wanted to ask you..."

"...If I'll fill in the Colonel's shoes? No thank you, I'm much too busy tinkering away at these Tenfolds, I'm sure the mouse has rigged the raffle so he'll win regardless"

"Well, not exactly...it's just..."

"...Ok, level with me, it's about why I tried to replace you with a superior model isn't it?"

Penfold stalled.

Was this the better question to ask of her?

His mind kept racing back to what had happened on the wagon the pair rode in on after escaping the Tenfolds. He repeated, in her voice, the four words that had sprang from Squawk's lips just as she realised the perfect sidekick was standing just in front of her, he kicked himself for almost reciprocating the sentiment, and what the Professor had done afterwards when she realised he was serious.

She clearly wasn't ready to deal with the reality of what she'd said; he knew that, that's why she pushed him back. That had to be the answer.

At least the answer his own mind and soul had to settle for.

Still, he needed something definite from her, something that felt safe to ask, maybe she sensed that as well, and chose to retrace her steps to how it all began that day, or for the last several days.

Clearly, the Tenfold program had been a passion project of hers for quite a while; she had been fixated on trying to have him replaced.

T he question for Penfold now was simple.

Who did this benefit more?

Penfold needed to know.

"Sure Professor, that's totally it, give me the dirt, I promise I won't bury you in it" he said.

"You won't?" Squawk asked.

Penfold nodded.

"Oh you humble little hamster, you're quite the catch, Scarlett was lucky to have you" she said.

"Scarlet? As in Johamster? My ex?" Penfold replied.

"Of course, when I heard you two had split, I figured it was this accursed occupation we occupy ourselves with that had driven a wedge between the pair of you. You could have had such a great future together, my little star with a starlet, a match made in the heavens. You can tell who the hopeless romantic in the room is just by how I describe things"

"So you started the Tenfold programme to create someone that would replace me...all so Scarlet could have me for herself?" Penfold replied.

"Exactly, you had what every member of this agency craves Penfold, actual understanding and companionship, and more importantly, a major celebrity connection. You could have sold the rights to our stories to Hollywood. I could have gotten someone to play me on screen too" she said.

The two looked each other in the eye and were temporarily mesmerised.

"Yeah, totally crazy right?" she said nervously.

"You know Professor; we're so busy trying to perfect our world that we run the risk of creating an imperfect future for ourselves and our loved ones. I'll have to be more careful, but only as long as you're more careful with your good intentions" Penfold suggested.

"How careful would you like?" Squawk seductively muttered.

"I didn't quite catch that" Penfold teased, lying to her and himself.

"I think you'd better check on the Mouse, see if he's hit the big time" she said.

"Oh crumbs, good point, there is an awfully big clock in that assembly hall" Penfold replied.

As he dashed off, the Professor went back to work, the conversation that had replaying in her mind for the duration of the day and well into her pleasant and peaceful dreams.

Had she been more selfish this day, if her devotion to the Danger Agency wasn't a priority, she would have revealed it wasn't for Scarlet and Penfold's benefit...but to free Penfold from his responsibilities so someone else could stand a chance at giving him happiness

That someone had almost revealed her intentions to him on the wagon, with four desirable words.

I could kiss you

She smiled.

One day she would.

For now, he was a friend.

He had to be.

Things were still imperfect.

Last edited by Cameron Samurai; February 22nd, 2019 at 02:41 AM.
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Old December 23rd, 2018, 06:20 AM #64
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(Contains spoilers for "Melted")

Sqauwkencluck wiped away the tears as she watched Danger Mouse pour his heart out and allowed the music to move and motivate him. She was beaming with pride.

She had been eavesdropping on the world's greatest secret agent for the majority of the mission and had heard of his struggles to be accepted by his peers in his youth, back when his singing voice caved in and led to rejection and humiliation. Overcoming his childhood anxieties to give the performance of a lifetime was just what was needed to strike a chord within even the most cynical and coldly logical hearts and minds.

When the time came to put the Danger Babies to sleep, Squawkencluck would tell them as fitting a bedtime yarn as she could muster, one based all off DM's bravery and how the musical Melted had inspired and captivated him. She would teach the next generation of Danger Agents to value the ideas and experience of what she had witnessed.

Still feeling butterflies in her stomach, Squawkencluck made her way to DM and Penfold's living quarters stationed elsewhere in Mayfair HQ, eager to congratulate the world's greatest secret agent personally and maybe acquire a small sample of his phenomenal vocal work on audio, perhaps as an early Christmas gift for the Danger Babies.

She smiled, as for the longest time she had often remained quite critical, even oblivious, to the allure of Christmas, but the Melted experience had given her something to cherish every December, perhaps there was something to the festive traditions after all.

She found DM and Penfold hadn't arrived yet, so she used her special access card to open the door and opted to surprise them instead.

She gently dropped onto the circular seating area and spread both her arms as far as she could muster across the long width of the sofa, she put her feet up on the table and stared directly at the tall plush toy of Honker the Musical Walrus.

Penfold's words from earlier in the day came flooding back to her, he had explicitly instructed her not to touch it.

It had taken a great deal of willpower simply to leave the doll behind and return to the lab in instruct and advise during the mission, and even then the absolute pull of the musical hadn't quite left her and had stirred her so emotionally, she felt compelled her to pull the inexplicable stunt of dropping into the arms of a hologram.

When was touching a honking plush toy grounds for anger?

All she wanted to do was share her fixation with someone who had the same interest as her. It was often hard to find something in common between her and the hapless hamster that was always at DM's side. She adored that Penfold had such an innocent view on the musical that just revealing what he knew about it kept him cool in frustrating circumstances such as what he and DM had gone through at the North Pole, she admired his encyclopaedic knowledge of the story's events which were key to helping Danger Mouse put his best foot forward, and she was envious of the amount of merchandise he would bring in and hoard.

She wondered what Penfold would do if he got married and had to share his possessions, or if his wife would have him throw the whole thing out and force him to put it up for auction.

Perhaps he could lend them to a friend?

Not much point in dwelling on what might be thought Squawk.

After all, what if the wife turned out to be the friend he held nearest to him?

Someone who shared his common interests, someone who appreciated his tastes, someone who got as much of a kick out of playing with his possessions as he did?

Who knows, perhaps Penfold knew this kind of friend existed for him, and was treating her as if she was someone he could bring under his domesticated heel if she even thought of stepping out of line, and teach her to respect his boundaries? Perhaps he knew it was safe to try that with her knowing she'd easily forgive him, and do her best to respect his wishes?

Perhaps that's what love and understanding is all about?

The pull of the future was as enticing as the pull of the music which brought their interests together.

She looked forward to one day having a hand in bringing it to life.
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Old December 24th, 2018, 01:16 AM #65
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(contains spoilers for the episode "Melted")

"I'm never watching that film again" Dawn Crumhorn vowed as the Mark IV darted across the arctic tundra en route back to London. She was tied to the back of the flying machine and was finding the wild winds difficult to tolerate, especially as they were messing up her hair.

"Well, at least Melted gained one fan to replace the one it just lost" came a voice from the intercom.

Dawn frowned.

It was him.

Her co-star in her most recent misadventure.

"I'm not talking to you, you cut my adaptation to ribbons"

"Terribly sorry about that, it took me a little while to get into the part" Danger Mouse replied.

"I should have kept your dimwit sidekick in the role of Bumpsydaisy, he'd have stuck to the script" Dawn continued

"Penfold is many things, but a willing accomplice would never fit" DM replied, having faith that his sidekick would never be completely swayed.

"And what about your pitiful pal? I'd much rather spend the rest of this trip talking with a fan of the experience than some newcomer who only used a priceless moment as a means to an end"

"He's taking a nap, I should know, I gave him a little something in his refreshment to send him to slumber land" DM revealed, adding a tenth pillow from the car's compartments to the pillow fort that he'd been forming around Penfold to keep him asleep.

"You put him to sleep?" Dawn asked.

"Which means we can talk" DM continued.


"That big number we shared was a means to an end, but I meant everything I said in that performance Dawn"

Dawn felt something shoot up her spine.

At first, she believed it to be a rush of blisteringly cold air from the sharp winds that coursed through the sky and all over her body, but this felt like an internal jolt associated with the feelings of anxiety and unnerving uncertainty.

Whatever he had just admitted to, she believed him.

"How could you have possibly meant it? What was it I said?" she asked, unsure of whether to hate herself for asking as she was seemingly giving in to the kind of conversation her captor was trying to have with her, and she was unsure of how to feel.

"The whole spiel you had about the world being as cracked as the people you meet, that touched me Dawn, it reminded me of how own shortcomings when I was trying for a career as a musician and singer early on in my youth. My voice, and the people in my life at the time, were all cracked and distorted, everything was held to an impossibly high standard. The worst examples of anthropomorphic kind judged me on my ability and rejected me. All I wanted was a chance to play in their pen"

"That's exactly how we met, I wanted nothing more than to have someone play with me, to give me undivided attention and respect, even love" Dawn admitted.

"Look at the pair of us Dawn, we demand everyone lavish us with attention in order to stroke our egos. At the worst of times, we want to embrace love in its most selfish state, only thinking selflessly of others when we give in its highs or lows"

"Are you saying that, deep down, I wanted to stop the literal meltdown of the planet?"

"Deep down, you wanted to be the hero, you wanted the redemption story. That's what Melted was Dawn, a tale of love finding a way to cleanse the light of the darkness that was enveloping it. You wanted me to be your glue to mend the crack in your world, and I in turn needed you to be the light, I needed you to help me to take charge of my voice, to command a worldwide stage and make us both the heroes of the story. We brought the light of Melted into a world that sorely needed it. Love held back the ocean, it turned the tide, and we stopped the flood"

Dawn absorbed what DM had said, and rattled back with something she needed to hear. She hated herself for asking in light of the strength in the marvellous mouse's words, but she needed to hear this from his lips.

"When you were saying 'I can't, I can't' earlier, you weren't suggesting you couldn't bring yourself to sing, you were afraid to admit something about yourself to me, a side that could get you in trouble with your superiors. I didn't understand then, but I see it now. There was a hidden meaning to it, just as there was when I made my own intentions clear...when I demanded you play Bumpsydaisy. It wasn't humiliation I wanted from you, I may have said that just to be cheeky, but it wasn't what I wanted from you at all. It was the chance for you to reciprocate what I was already feeling"

Danger Mouse felt the unnerving cold shoot down his neck as the tension built, only for it to then steadily fade. He smiled.

Dawn understood.

"You're right, you're exactly right, I jumped at the part after I thought back to what Penfold had said about the character when he was telling me all about the musical. I feigned disinterest but it struck a chord with me, it got me thinking about how we first interacted, I couldn't help myself, I even knew instinctively what your favourite game was on that day, it was hide and seek. That right there demonstrates synergy I haven't had with almost anyone else"

Col. K's hologram form suddenly formed before DM as he contacted the two.

"Ah congratulations DM, that performance was absolutely riveting. During your duet, Squawkencluck got so caught up in the moment she nearly jumped into my arms, completely forgetting I'm a hologram 50% of the time, she landed straight on her chest, the poor woman. What's your E.T.A? We have a nice soft cell waiting for young Dawn that'll serve her well, at least until her father bails her out with his vast wealth, resources and connections. See you when you get here"

DM smiled, though he was quite uneasy, and turned off the hologram. He wasn't quite sure how to break it to the absent-minded Colonel that Dawn's father had been exiled to deep space long ago. A good thing in this case.

"Is what you feel worse than a prison sentence?" Dawn asked.

"To some people it might very well be, but I believe what I feel is something that travels with me, not something that hinders me. It reminds me there is good to come in my twilight years when you're all caught up and we can truly embrace what we have with confidence we won't be judged"

"Why tell me now? I could very well say something"

"Dawn, you won't tell. As you said, your intentions are clear. Right there, in your soul, and in your song, the understanding we share is tangible and real, and it'll always stay there no matter how further egotistical we become or how much you continue to try to exact revenge on those who wronged you. Whatever it was we shared under the northern lights, rest assured it will stay with us from now until we step away from all of this"

"That's probably why I'll never watch the film again...it does nothing now but remind me of what we shared, and what we can never have for as long as age and our opposite experiences divide us"

"Youth is fleeting Dawn, it forever will be, if we can hold on to the hope time can heal those scars of ours, and provided our hearts aren't pulled in other directions, then we can also hope act on whatever impulses linger in the farthest future"

"Said with such conviction...but you're right, we need to give each other time, when I grow up, we'll explore this further. I won't tell, I'll treasure our moment Mouse, but don't think for a second it will go on to define where we stand as long as I'm still young. I'm still a spoiled, selfish little girl, and still every bit your worst nightmare"

"And I will be as determined to stop you for as long as you stay where you are...but know that, for that brief moment in time, when we shared the fate of the world in the palm of our hands, we were wiser, and you? You were older

Last edited by Cameron Samurai; July 8th, 2019 at 03:55 AM.
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Old December 26th, 2018, 02:03 PM #66
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(Contains spoilers for "Melted")

Author's note: Yeah, I realised half-way through writing this that Crumhorn is currently off-world, so just think of this as an alternate universe or assume "Melted" takes place sometime before the second season finale. Thanks

The lawyers hadn't seen him in hours.

They paced up and down the waiting room situated at the base of his company headquarters, but all Augustus P. Crumhorn would do was keep them waiting.

He could ill afford an interruption.

He remained seated in his office, watching the footage on the news again and again.

His sharpened eyes fixated on the closing moments of the duet that decided the fate of the world.

On the frozen tundra of the North Pole, under the northern lights, he saw two people come together in a session of absolute bliss. For these two, there was no one else in the world, they were everything either needed.

A device in both of their hands was triggered, and the machine that had turned up the heat in every corner of the globe reset and returned the world to normal.

This planet had been denied a Crumhorn-led reshaping once more, courtesy of the world's greatest secret agent, and the family's sworn nemesis.

And Augustus' daughter had also proved far too trusting of the mouse that'd captivated her heart.

When he gave her that smug smirk that conveyed to her all too easily she was in a world of trouble, she ran, she ran as far as she could because the monster was here.

What a good girl.

She tripped and fell into the water, emerging as a prisoner in a solid block of ice.

She was a prisoner of the mouse, but perhaps so much emotionally wrenching, was she was now a prisoner of his heart.

Crumhorn swung his chair around and brought it back around to his desk. He pulled out a drawer with a large black unmarked photo album and combed through its pages.

He had specifically categorised each advancing step in his daughter's journey through life. A series of firsts.

First birthday, first footsteps, first toy, first day at school.

The photos brought a stir to his soul as the sensation of fatherly pride overtook him looking at the photos of a boundless, excited and curious girl with spark and energy graced every photo on the page.

And then his eyes glanced over to the categories that remained blank, the slots he was saving for when she was older.

First kiss, first love, first born.

And his anger grew the more he thought of them.

The innocence of those days were gone, the days of looking forward to those moments had been lost, for the world was cracked and both of them were hell bent on gluing everything and everyone they'd seen together again, all they could make time for was law, and order, and discipline, and judgements.

All of these adult matters forging a child's future, defining her mission and mindset way before it was meant to. Crumhorn would have to sit his daughter down and try to reassure her all of this needn't affect her, that it was the people that were cracked, neither her nor himself.

That was an altogether easier task.

But what the mouse had done was to prove an almost impossible challenge, for this was a matter of the heart, this was forbidden, this was an alien language to him. As a considerate parent, nothing can prepare you for a conversation like this.

And that terrified him.

The lawyers would stay outside for now. Bringing them in would only lead to them offering their strategies, their advise, their spin, and then they would be put to use, they would fight in his corner, they would spring his daughter, they would make his family whole again.

And then they would have the conversation, he would put her to bed, and she would dream.

Dream of the Mouse, dream of their moment, and dream of her nightmare, and that day, the day she experienced what true love can give and what betrayal can take away, would spark a downward spiral and a session of further conversations which Crumhorn would find a struggle.

How can you mend the world when your own is just as cracked?

How could you make a product of pure love believe that such a thing can ever still exist in this cruel world?

He didn't know how to answer, these were the harder questions, the most dangerous currents you face in the ocean of life.

And nothing can prepare you.
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Old February 22nd, 2019, 02:45 AM #67
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I'll be posting some new stories in the coming day... and I'm going to polish up some of the stuff I've already posted as I've noticed some grammatical errors.


(contains spoilers for "Melted")

Colonel K kept his eyes trained on the phone, waiting for it to ring.

Ten minutes had elapsed; it was bound to go off at some point.

The incessant ringing, the call for him to answer, the hesitation to do just that and waste his time calming the Department J detention crew only for them to ring back approximately another ten minutes later.

This time he was keen to make this the last call, he knew exactly who he'd bring into this.

The tenth minute passed. The phone rang.

He answered.

"I see...yes, yes I heard you the ninth time, the eighth time, every time before that. I don't intend for this to last another sixty minutes, I'm sending my top mouse in. Colonel out"

Colonel K put down the phone, and set up activating his holographic emitter.

He interrupted DM and Penfold in the middle of a thoroughly draining session which was requiring the two to tap into the full capacity of their mental prowess.

"Danger Mouse, this is an emergency, Department J can't keep her restrained, she's going on and on about wanting to see her father" the Colonel said, shaking his head in dismay as all the cries for help on his end came flooding to his memory.

"Not Colonel, I've almost cracked my most intense assignment yet" said DM as he informed Penfold he believed it to be Col. Mustard in the study hall with the booby trapped chandelier.

The Colonel's next few words made it crystal clear this was no game.

"DM, she needs you"

Danger Mouse sighed, stood up, stretched his arms, sprayed his odious armpits with a fresh spot of colon, and made his way down to the Juvenile detention sector of the Danger Agency, Penfold following him.

"Chief? Are you sure you're up to this? You know how she reacts around you..."

"I've had more than enough experience with the Danger Babies to know how to bring a temperamental child to order"

"But she's not just a temperamental child to you is she Chief? She's something else"

"Whatever are you rattling on about?" DM asked as he placed his Agency security pass into the lock mechanism at the entrance to the Sector J vault.

"That duet didn't get noticed as just a fanciful bit of Christmas entertainment by the masses, some people read a little too clearly into it, Squawkencluck in particular. She hasn't stopped yapping about it to anyone within hearing distance at the canteen. Why else would the Colonel insist you come around specifically?"

Danger Mouse refused to answer, he was fixated on the problem, and what he could offer as a solution.

"Chief, it's Ok, you don't need to feel bad about it, it normally does someone a world of good to know they're needed"

He approached the prisoner, who was seated on the edge of a seat in an otherwise almost empty cell, a small black board next to her with a piece of broken chalk. Written on the black board was a photo, and above the photo, both a message and a question.

"Where are you?"

Danger Mouse used his pass on the lock. The infra-red scanners analysed him before granting him access. The Plexiglas barrier slid down and he stepped inside. Penfold looked on apprehensively as the barrier was raised again to prevent the prisoner from contemplating a quick escape.

Danger Mouse sat beside the prisoner and put an arm over her shoulder.



"Talk to me"

Dawn pointed to the blackboard and the message.

There was a photo next to it.

DM looked at it.

It was a picture of a much younger Dawn with her hands covering her eyes, her father, the nefarious criminal Augustus P Crumhorn was behind her urging whoever had taken the photo to remain calm and not breathe a word of his presence to his child.

"You're asking where your fonder memories went, not your dad" DM said.

"I know where my Dad is, you sent him away into space" Dawn rattled.

"Yes, we did...entirely for the greater good, he would have enslaved the world otherwise"

"Everyone I meet is cracked, damaged, in need of control, we think the time is right for it" Dawn insisted.

"You can't decide for the world when it's time to restrain itself, even if you could, you can't always keep your eye on the clock to know whether or not the time is now or that the time is even up. Everyone moves forward, everyone grows older while new people come into the world who have to learn the same lessons, it's all part of the most reliable memory the world has, its own lifetime, reinterpreted for every fresh generation. Some can understand it early in life, and some are made to"

Dawn was barely listening; she continued to call out for her father in distant whispers that took Danger Mouse some time to pick up audibly.

He soon heard it enough times to tell when Dawn was teetering on the edge of the abyss.

"The Colonel said you needed me Dawn, and try as I might to keep things professional, I just can't bring myself to simply detach myself entirely either. I feel good that you need me, and a friend told me it was perfectly fine to feel that way"

Penfold gave the Chief resounding thumbs up.

"Dawn, we shared something significant under the glistening northern lights, let me know what I can share with you now, let me know if anything I said to you today mattered, because you matter so much to me already"

Dawn wiped the tears from her eyes and rested her head gently on his lap in a snug position; Danger Mouse's hands ran firmly along her puffy purple pigtails.

"I want you to remember my dad the way I do, I want you to carry what he meant to me everywhere, so that it may distract and frustrate you when he comes back and you pit your witless mind against his..."

"...Dawn I don't think you've quite got the hang of respecting the people that care about you" DM insisted.

"..Are you going to honour this request or not?" she said, quick to anger.

"Better know when to button it Chief" said Penfold.

Danger Mouse sighed and nodded.

"I'll honour it Dawn, you have my word" he said.

Dawn smiled back at him.

"You smell good" she said, acknowledging his colon.

"Just get on with it" said Danger Mouse.

Dawn made herself comfortable on DM's lap once more, DM calmly and lovingly stroked the back of her head with his right hand, and she carried on.

"I remember my dad putting others down just to build me up.

I remember my dad's look of joy when he gave me my first pup

I remember my dad thought he'd lost me and came apart at the seems

I remember my dad and I playing 'weddings', between me and the plush toy of my dreams.

I remember my dad at a picnic; he mistook the dog food for honey.

I remember my dad putting real cash up for grabs in games of monopoly.

I remember my dad raising his voice only when I was naughty

I remember my dad's look of confusion when I demanded a brick house made of money.

I remember my dad say every day we trail behind is a day we vow to march on.

And I remember my dad pointing to the stars to tell me 'that's where we come from"

Danger Mouse waited for more to come, but Dawn had finally given in the exhaustion of her emotional outbursts, and she fallen asleep in his arms.

He sat there, unable, and unwilling, to move, keeping her request in his thoughts.

He looked back at Penfold, who looked particularly choked up.

DM looked down at the bitter angel that was seemingly at peace, feeling quite content himself at much his promises were valued, and he wondered if, somewhere among the distant stars, Crumhorn was doing all he can to remember her.
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Old March 3rd, 2019, 05:44 AM #68
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(Special Thanks To FF.Net member bravekid For The Idea)


Sarangeul haetta/uriga manna/jiuji mothal/chuoegi dwaetda

"Erm narrator?"

Neon nareul weonhae, neon naege ppajeo, neon naege micheo, heeonal su eopseo, I got you under my skin


You don't know me so shut up boy

"A boy? Right, that settles it, you need quite a stern backhand"

What? Was I just smacked across the face?

"Quite so, now are you going to narrate my latest heroic escapade or not?"

I'm sorry Danger Mouse, I read the episode synopsis ahead of schedule and it put me in a mood to belt out a couple of tunes.

"What synopsis would that be?" Penfold asked.

"The narrator found out this story centres around our attempts at rescuing the world's foremost K-pop specialists from having their talents stolen by Professor Siena Katarina and her Rex Factor thought transfer

"Oh crumbs, K-Pop? That's all the rage these days, and it sends me into a rage just listening to it"

"Why would that be?"

"Scarlet subjected me to it at every opportunity trying to convert me. When she caught sight of a K-Pop band, she screamed louder for them than she managed when catching a glimpse of me on assignment"

"Ah, a little envious are we?" Danger Mouse asked.

"Largely envious Chief" snapped Penfold.

The MKIV swiftly sped through the sky heading towards a large smoothly edged rectangular building, a foreboding crimson energy field encircling it.

"Force field" DM said, reaching out to grab hold of it, he received a fierce jolt for his troubles.

"An electrified force field" Danger Mouse replied.

"Not to worry chief, Professor Squawkencluck supplied us with her new force cutter"

Danger Mouse took the neatly wrapped device out of Penfold's hand and unpackaged it.

"It's just a pair of scissors Penfold"

"Press the emblem in the middle"

Danger Mouse did so and the scissors suddenly sprang into life and zipped across the entirety of the force field surrounding the building, cutting through every strand and leaving the building vulnerable.

Danger Mouse and Penfold somersaulted from the car, curled themselves into a ball in mid-flight and hurled themselves into the fibre glass of the structure.

"Cor, good thing standards and practices made it easier for us to burst through the glass without having to cut ourselves on the shards Chief" said Penfold.

The two stood face to face with Professor Katarina, a stout looking kiwi who was operating a large cylinder shaped device which had wires and headsets attached to the spine and ears of a group of famous K-Pop bands.

"I found them on the set of the latest K-Drama. I hear they're making one for CBBC"

"It wouldn't happen to be called 'Find your Tribe' would it?" asked Penfold.

"Hey, that sounds like it could roll right off the tongue" said one of the K-Pop singers.

"This hamster has the mind for marketing" complimented another.

"No, I absolutely refuse to help cross promote your ghastly genre" said Penfold.

"I've read your profile Katarina, as well as being a pioneer in the field of genetic ability acquisition; you were quite a good hand at talent acquisition. A professional talent scout for the billionaires new blood agency. What happened to you?" Danger Mouse asked.

"I couldn't keep up with the times. All of the talent shows refused to sign any of my clients because they didn't sing like a K-Popstar, not even putting them on reality shows did them any good because the real money lay in singing and performing in K-Dramas"

"Well the only drama you'll be enjoying from here on out are real life helpings of Woolworths" said Penfold.

"I think you meant 'Wentworth' Penfold" said DM, correcting him.

"Not on your life Danger Agents, for these K-pop klutzes, today is when their music died, and I'll have all the talent in their world stored within my own body. I'll be my own best client, and the world shall not shun me again" said Katarina, throwing a switch and unleashing a trio of panel judges, who unleashed a powerful blast of crimson laser energy whenever they pushed the buzzer button on their desks.

"My panel patrol shall deal with you two" she said, and threw the switch on the transfer device to begin the process.

DM and Penfold dodged as many of the energy blasts as they could. Every mark the blasts left on the building formed a seering and blistering hot X.

"Penfold, try to disable that machine, I'll deal with these panel peasants" DM instructed.

Penfold nodded, took a running leap, and leapt over some of the branding blasts, he reached the device and attempted to make a grab for the lever and reverse the process as the musical aura and raw talent was steadily plucked from the K-pop star's souls.

Penfold pushed and pulled, but the lever was difficult to budge.

"It's no good chief, I've got the strength of a gnat" Penfold said in dismay.

"Such emotion in his voice, he could always vent about it through song" said Keith Su, one of the captive stars.

"Forget it, I've got one of those voices

It's a no from me" said one of the panellist droids as they took aim at Penfold just as the lever was within reach.

Penfold jumped as the blast scorched the floor beneath his feet, singeing one of the cables connected to the device, exposing some live wires.

As Penfold came down, his foot stepped on the wiring, and a powerful surge sent an electrical jolt through his body. The energies being transferred from the singers towards a containment orb at the heart of the machine was now flowing into Penfold, but it was taking quite a hefty toll on his body.

"Ah, the pain, it's excruciating, I haven't felt this badly stung since I told that family of wasps they'd made quite a sub-par ham" Penfold cried.

"You can do it hamster jewel" said one of the singers.

"It's no good, I'm no good" said Penfold, who's eyes were glowing a bright rainbow mishmash of dazzling colour.

"Good is good in the final hour, at the brink of death. Virtue is only virtue in extremis" said one of the singers.

These words seem to light a fire under Penfold, a spark of creativity ignited in his brain also.

Then there dawned a sensation altogether new to him, he could feel his soul come alive.

He heard a song.

"I can do this...I can do this" Penfold said, screaming.

With one last burst of strength, he tugged hard at the lever, and he finally switched it over, shutting the machine down.

DM grabbed a piece of the shattered glass and used it to deflect the laser blasts from the panel patrol back at them, destroying his attackers in the process.

Katerina's face contorted in anguish and dismay as her plans came to nothing,Danger Mouse dashed up to her and handcuffed the sly scientist.

"Well done Penfold, I can assure you I won't forget this in a hurry like I do all your birthdays" DM replied.

"Thanks Chief, but why do I suddenly feel the urge to seek out a recording booth all of a sudden?" Penfold asked.

The K-Popstars all looked at each other and beamed with joy.

"He has the calling" they said in unison

"I think you've earned yourself a fanbase there old chap" complimented Danger Mouse.

"But Cheif, I failed, they no longer have their musical talents" said Penfold.

"Never mind us" said a band member.

"Yes, our voice is now your voice, you have the power of our genre on your lips and our spirits liven your soul. Take advantage of it, sing of this moment, act it out even"

"Does anything cease to perk you up?" DM asked.

"Only when the world ceases to sing is our volume at its lowest" the group spoke once again in unison, which spooked Danger Mouse slightly.

Right, that's it, another adventure over for our intrepid Danger Agents...or is it?

Let's skip ahead a few days, Your humble narrator always likes to sneak a preview of the following week's episodes on the BBC I-Player.

Right, there's DM, he's busy fighting the Snowman...but wait, where's Penfold?

We'd best check back at the Mayfair HQ.

Wow, the streets of London seem to flooded with the sights and sounds of screaming fangirls

Ah, there's Col. K and Squawkencluck trying to make their way into headquarters, let's catch up with them.

I say...fellows?

"Not now narrator" Squawk shrieked as she climbed up a literal hill made of teeny boppers, struggling to sustain the Colonel's weight on her shoulders as he piggy-backed on her. The two finally reached the front door, they activated the lock, the doors opened and they dashed inside and swiftly closed it, though some of the fan girls spilled in.

"Oh my goodness, I'm actually inside the Pen Poldeu's pad" ne of the fan girls squealed.

"Quick, where's the bathroom?" she asked Squawk.

"Why? Do you badly need the toilet?" Squawk inquired.

"No, I want to get my mits on Pen Poldeu's toothbrush, or the towels he uses to dry himself with. Anything with his pretty hairs on it" the fan girl cried out.

Squawk grabbed her by the throat and shook her violently before climbing up a ladder and lawn darting the fangirl out of the letterbox exit port.

As she climbed down and set her sights on the other fangirls, they swiftly backed off.

Danger Mouse arrived back at HQ to vent about the situation.

Perhaps now would be the best time to ask, since I'm a week behind, what exactly happened over the last five days?

"Oh it all started when we got back home, we took Katarina's machine back with us hoping to find some means of reverse engineering it so it could somehow restore the musical talent back to the performers, but because Penfold had absorbed all of the musicians' musical abilities, he also took their advise and express his near demise and the struggle to save the day through song. The result was a new K-Pop sensation. He even gave himself a new name"

Penfold? A popstar? Well it could be worse, he could have the voice of Rowan Keating.

Danger Mouse and Squawk made their way back to the lab where Katarina's K-Pop Pirating hardware was stored.

"I've found ways of reversing the procedure, but it'll require output from the energy orb to channel through the living vessel sitting atop the live terminal" Squawk explained.

"So in other ways, Penfold has to wilfully place himself in mortal danger to replenish the popstars" DM asked.

"Not on your nelly you two" came a voice behind them

Penfold, flanked by fangirls, entered the room, signing as many autographs as he could.

Squawk and DM were transfixed by his appearance.

"Penfold...are those hair extensions?" he said, noting the messy shreds of hair on Penfold's head.

"I don't know what you mean Chief, this is my natural hair, I'm going back to basics...I don't even need my glasses"

Penfold took the shades off and showed off his sparkling eyes. Squawk felt something sensational tickle her close to her heart, but she maintained her composure.

Other fangirls were not so professional.

Mesmerised by Penfold's gaze, they all locked their arms tightly around him.

DM and Squawk retreated to his and Penfold's living quarters.

"He's all over the place Professor, surely not every girl can be taken in by this?"

"Yatta, yatta, hamster sweet jewel" the fan girls sang badly transcribed k-pop lyrics aloud, having made good on their promise to inspect the bathroom.

"Yes, well, ask a silly question"

The Colonel suddenly burst into the room in alarm.

"Emergency DM, the Baron's up to his usual tricks, he's been spotted depositing a mixture of chemicals into the city's main reservoir" he said.

"Chemicals in the water? Isn't that what's turning the frogs that funny pink colour?" DM asked.

"Get a move on, you and Preston" the Colonel ordered.

Penfold, or rather Poldeu, wasn't having any of it.

"I'm afraid my fans wouldn't be able to bear it if I went out adventuring and it messed with my style or talents, I could end up with a throat infection around all those chemicals, and worse, this leisurely looking sleek white vest and bauble jacket could get creased. I'll not stand for that"

"If you won't participate in averting a world crisis Pineapple, then you'll find a whole different kind of crisis to deal with, namely an employment crisis" the Colonel replied.

"I can change the world through my performances, I have a song in my soul and a story to tell, a tale of being courageous in the final fateful moments of life, it's this reason above all people love me. I held back the end, and in doing so I hold ever so tightly on to their hearts" Poldeu replied.

Squawk saw some of the girls were crawling all over him as he spoke those words, she was close to boiling point.

"If you can't appreciate my message, I'll take it elsewhere. Goodbye" said Poldeu and stormed out of the room.

"Well, I guess I'll have to take Danger Moth with me on this mission then" said DM.

"Are you sure? She did take a rattling from Night Night a few days ago" said the Colonel.

"She needs to recover quickly, and who better to lead her out the other side of midnight than me?" said DM.

As Pen Poldeu left the Mayfair headquarters, the girls disengaged from him, their eyes having tuned an odd scarlet colour, and filled into an alleyway.

"Hey, where are you all going?" said Poldeu as he followed them in.

To his astonishment, he found the girls had vanished and in their place was a tall, cloacked figure with a long beak and two savage looking fangs eating a stick of celery.

"Duckula" Poldeu said, recognizing the Transylvanian Vampire Duck.

"Apologises Pensqueak, I had to get you away from that forceful fandom of yours to offer you my services" he said.

"Services?" Poldeu asked, a little intimidated.

"I want to be your representative on the passing music scene, you and I could not only light up the industry, but we could keep the temperature rising. Your story is one that touches us all, even in our very private places. We all love a good yank at the heart...though me personally could do without a stake through it"

"Why should I trust you?" Poldeu replied.

"Don't trust me, trust the dollar signs in my eyes and your own" Duckula said, taking out a pen and attempting to doodle such signs on his proposed client's eyelids.

"Maybe I should consult the chief on this" said Poldeu.

"He'll just oppose you, you don't need that drama in your life...or...wait, hold that thought, maybe you do"

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Old March 3rd, 2019, 05:46 AM #69
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With Mouse and Moth having set forth on their mission, Squawk requested she take the rest of the day off, having supplied the agents with their equipment.

She could barely concentrate, not with Penfold out of the picture. Or whatever he was calling himself nowadays.

As she walked through the street, she found a teeming mass of girls all lined up to buy copies of Poldeu's seventh record selling album. It'd only been a couple of hours since his sixth one, which came out minutes after his fifth.

He was pumping these things out like he was a machine.

And people were taking notice, many thinking of him like royalty and desiring to be his pop princess.

As a matter of fact, the rival networks have already put together a reality show to determine who gets to perform with him as well as date the poor guy; they dubbed the title "Pop Princess-The Rivals"

Ok, that title isn't all that imaginative, and is admittedly just the teeniest bit out of 2003, but the little babies coming into their own think at this stage everything's original.

She entered her apartment, kicked her shoes off, and settled down to watch some television.

She flicked through the channel, and for the most part it was almost all entirely devoted to rolling news coverage of Danger Mouse and Danger Moth's struggles against the Baron and his frogs head flier at the reservoir.

Danger Moth had ejected herself from DM's car and had taken flight, aiming for the cockpit of the mechanical toad, but the machine produced a lean tall tennis racket from its chest compartment and smacked Danger Moth square in the face with it, sending her flying into the back of DM's car and almost sliding off of the vehicle to her doom, only for Danger Mouse to grab her by the arm and pull her back inside.

The car flew over the frogs head flyer, with the mouse now taking his turn, descending from the Mark IV with a rope ladder, DM climbed down to the top of the ship and tried to pry open the roof with a can opener.

A small hatch opened to the right of him and a mechanical arm carrying a spray can appeared, spraying DM in the face with it, the chemicals had an adverse effect on the world's greatest secret agent as he began giggling and started croaking like a frog.

He hopped to the left and right, in a rather flamboyant manner, and almost jumped off the top of the ship to the treacherous waters below, only for a recovering Danger Moth to fly down and grab him, returning him to the safety of the car, though DM would attempt to jump out of the car as he continued to mimic the movements of a frog.

Squawk realised to her horror this latest setback would mean she would soon be called back into work almost ASAP, she decided to try one last crack at low quality entertainment on the more niche channels to distract her from the ongoing malarkey.

Just five or three more minutes of it she thought.

Then something caught her eye.

Something familiar.

Someone close.

Someone that she could always rely on to capture her complete attention, for better or for worse.

"What are you up to Penfold?" she said.

Yes, on the television was Penfold, or rather Poldeu, acting out things in a K-Pop soap opera novella called "Poldeu and the Pendulum"

And starring alongside him was Pink Dawn, Danger Mouse and Penfold's pampered child nemesis, dressed to mimic Squawnkencluck in appearance.

Poldeu was speaking fluent Korean, but Dawn was attempting to mimic a Scottish accent.

"See here laddie, ya cannay expect me to conjure up inventions for you and yer mad mouse if ya canny work together. Teamwork's the key"

"That accent is thicker than her brain functions" Squawk revealed.

The phone rang and Squawkencluck picked it up.

The voice of Col. K screamed down the line.

"I trust you've been keeping tabs on Poldeu?" he said.

"You mean you find yourself engrossed in this maddening melodrama too? I only just turned it on" she said.

"I'm afraid it's being simulcast across every television station. A good thing to, I've been binging it during my tea breaks. Haven't missed a single episode"

"How many tea breaks would you have had to be on to catch every episode?" Squawkencluck asked.

"Indefinite ones, but that's not the point Professor, the agency needs you, get back to work"

"On my way Chief" she said, realising she couldn't hold off the call of duty any longer.

However, no matter how far she went, she could not escape the star of Poldeu as it continued to rise.

A constant stream of music videos on mobile devices, his face on every cereal box, cinemas packed to the rafters watching feature length versions of his drama's episodes, and with the teeming mass of fangirls lined up outside the television studios, the city was proving a nightmare to navigate through by foot or by car.

Squawk got so frustrated waiting for the traffic lights to turn green that she emerged from her car and started clearing a path for the backed-up and frustrated motorists with her patented handheld road sweeper, which chucked the fans onto the roof of a nearby building.

Some of the fans took issue with what Squawk was doing.

"Why'd you turn my dream into a nightmare?" they said, their faces raining down with tears, and they soon rallied their swarm into an angry mob to chase after Squawk.

A large limo pulled up beside Squawk, the door opened and Poldeu appeared before her, urging her to get in. Squawk obliged.

As the car sped off, the fans hijacked a bus and headed off in pursuit, stalled only by every bus stop it had to slow down for in order to pick up passengers.

Poldeu had always taught the masses through his chosen medium to respect the rights and privileges of people in the free world, and to be kind to others, so his fans did their best to honour him by indulging in a responsible act.

"They're not doing half bad" remarked Squawkencluck as she peered out at the bus from the back of the limo.

"They learn from the best Professor" Poldeu replied, annoying Squawk slightly with how smug he was being.

"We need the best Penfold"

"Poldeu" corrected Poldeu

"Oh cut that out, that's a facade, the real Penfold would be more accepting of who he used to be, not someone who borrows from other people to define himself" Squawk added.

Poldeu wasn't about to listen to her, and got on the phone to his agent.

"Count? Yeah, I have her, when do you want to give Dawn the bad news?"

"Bad news? What bad news?" Squawk said.

"Oh haven't you heard? Dawn was just your understudy, we deliberately wrote around any hanky panky with her because she's underage, but with you here, there's no need for her"

"You have got to be kidding me, I'm not indulging in any sort of romantic entanglement with you in the egomaniacal state you're currently in" Squawk said, crossing her arms and turning away from Poldeu in disgust.

"Professor, I'm appalled you would think that way, I didn't mean with me, I value our friendship too much to want to force you into something like that, no, no your job is to be my pal in my drama much like you always have been to me at the agency"

The Professor stared back at him.

"If you value any trace of your friendships, you'll help Danger Mouse and Danger Moth out of the jam they're currently in" she said, showing him footage on her phone of Mouse and Moth's struggles against Baron Greenback.

Danger Mouse had, by now, attempted to fasten a rope across the legs of the frog's head flyer. Danger Moth had taken to the air and had spun circles around the flyer, trying to keep its pilot, Pandamonium dazed and confused and provide the Baron seated within with a bit of motion sickness.

Danger Mouse, acting rather now like a Fearless Frog, soon began hopping all over the place and catching flies with his tongue. Moth noticed that the rope had not been completely fastened and was forced to disengage from her attempts at distraction to try and attach it, circling the lower legs and doing her best to tighten its hold.

However, Danger Mouse's insistent hops meant she had to slow herself down so she wouldn't bump into him, and thus the ropes remained loose enough for the Frog's Head Flyer to free itself and kick Mouse and Moth so ferociously, they caused a minor crack in a nearby dam.

Poledu looked particularly unimpressed by this, not that showing their effectiveness without him was meant in any way to impress of course.

"See? Both are in over their heads" Squawk said, pleading for Poldeu to drop what he was doing and help.

"And I'm afraid the point of this going over mine" Poldeu replied, and snapped his fingers,

The limo pulled up at the recording studio and he was ushered out to record yet another album.

"Don't worry Professor, I'm usually pretty quick at this, expect me back in fifteen minutes"

The Professor scrambled to contact Col. K while he was busy.

"Colonel, I've made contact with Penfold, I'm trying to persuade him to come back to work"

"I wish you luck Professor, I need a break from all of my breaks" K replied.

Squawk waited patiently for what seemed like ages. She checked her watch and found that almost an hour had gone by.

Deciding to check on what was holding Penfold up; she got out of the limo, only to be spotted by the still enraged fan girls, who quickly gave chase to her.

Squawk barely had time to observe her surroundings as she was pursued by the manic mob, but she found that the studio was eerily dark. Several spiders' cobwebs and half-eaten vegetables lay scattered across the floor. Some banana peels were left too.

The mob found itself caught in the webs and slipping on the discarded skins, which helped Squawk, put some distance between her and them.

Finally, she reached the recording booth, only to find it too was dimly lit, she switched the light on and found Poldeu and his agent Duckula tied up and hanging from the ceiling, their legs and hands bound by tight rope.

"Oh my gosh, it's Poldeu" pointed out one fan girl.

"It's like Christmas has come early, he's been literally gift-wrapped" said another.

"No, keep your hands off him" Squawk said, putting herself between Poldeu and herself.

"Professor, you're willing to put on the line for my well being?" Poldeu said.

"Of course, I'd do anything for a friend like you, just like how I know the Earnest Penfold of the Danger Agency would do anything to make sure his friends were safe"

Poldeu looked dismayed as the shame of his recent actions overwhelmed him.

"I've been a fool Count, it took the courage of one person to show me who the real chicken was around here. Tell your contacts I shall never sing for them again"

"You can't take the music out of yourself Penfold, you have an obligation to make some sweet songs and supply me with sweet green so I can afford sweet greens" said Duckula.

"Oh I'm sorry to say it's very possible for Penfold's talents to be taken from him" came a sweet and sinister voice from behind them.

"Dawn" said Squawk, recognising the pampered princess as she came into view.

"The one and only winner of Pop Princess, that competition was supposed to give me the ultimate romantic invitation, a chance to date the great Poldeu, and all it got me was a rather sanitised part in his

"I keep telling you Dawn, you're underage. Why else do you think the Chief declined to date you after you last tried re-enacting a musical with him?" Poldeu replied.

"That Mouse may be willing to wait a couple of more decades, but I've found I'm not as patient. This is my ultimatum, date me and gives me the social status of a superstar, or I'll reverse engineer the Rex Factor technology and take the music straight out of you and pour it into me directly"

To prove she was not bluffing, Dawn snapped her fingers and Mr. Snuggles, her faithful teddy bear, came onto the scene pulling the Rex Factor transference device into the booth via a giant cart.

"Poldeu, listen to reason as well as good music, you can't inflict another egotistical child star on the world. We all know what happened to Beiber" Duckula pleaded.

"Did I happen to mention this recording studio is owned by Northern Soul? How's this for under the Northern lights?" joked Dawn as she climbed a ladder and began attaching wiring to the base of Penfold's spine and neck.

"My gosh, she really is hung up over Danger Mouse rejecting her after their musical number" said Squawk.

Realising she had to act fast, Squawk huddled the fan girls together and put together a strategy.

A strategy so compelling and cunning, elaborate, complex, the likes of which nobody could see coming

"Heave ho" she ordered, and the fan girls all hoisted Dawn off of the ladder, sending her crashing onto Mr. Snuggles.

The fan girls swarmed all over Dawn, cracking their knuckles, but the group all stood on top of the wiring, and the machine had already been activated, the music flowed out of Penfold and into the fan girls.

"Hey, narrator, the little trick of moving the ladder wasn't very elaborate" said Penfold.

Well, excuse me, I've been paid extra to give some buzz to these lazily thought out resolutions.

"We'll get you down Poldeu" said the fan girls in unison, forming a human pyramid so as one of them could climb up and cut open his bonds with a pocket knife.

"Please ladies, Poldeu is no more, just call me Penfold" he said.

"Without you, all is darkness" said the fan girls in dismay.

"Don't cry fans, everything may be like midnight now, but as a good friend tried to show someone lately, it's possible to make it out the other side" Penfold assured them.

"Do you have anything of the old Poldeu still in there?" The Professor asked.

"A little bit of a tune left, why?" said Penfold.

The Professor grabbed him by the hand, dashed with him out of the recording studio, threw him into the limo, and clambered into the driver's seat. They sped back to their Mayfair headquarters at top speed.

Evening had fallen, and Mouse and Moth were still up to their necks in hot water.

Literal hot water that is, as the Frog's Head Flyer had heated up the reservoir and had been dunking the pair head first into it.

Fortunately, Penfold and Squawk had arrived in the Professor's latest flying contraption, the Type 2 Chicken Little Nelly, which used a special harmonic disrupt or attached to the front of the device, with Penfold hooked up to it.

"Alright Penfold, give it all you can" instructed Squawk.

Penfold sang to the best of his ability, causing the fan girls accompanying him as backing singers to almost swoon and break their concentration.

The frequency, however, was enough to shatter the frog's head flyer, causing the Baron much distress.

The flyer dropped Danger Mouse and Danger Moth, Squawk got the Chicken Little Nelly into a position to catch them as they descended.

"That'll give the Baron an ear worm he won't soon forget" said Penfold, before collapsing from near exhaustion.

"It's alright Penfold, you can rest easy. The hard night's work is done" said Squawk, cradling him as Penfold rested gently on her shoulders.

Later, once Penfold had recovered, everyone gathered at DM's quarters for a little victory party.

"Mouse, I know you meant well, the next time you want to show me the other side of midnight, just call it a day" Danger Moth said, giving him a small kiss on the cheek and taking her leave,.

"Say, 'other side of midnight' that's a pretty good name for a K-Pop group Chief" said Penfold.

"Yes, the fan girls absorbed the brunt of what was storied within Penfold, and no other kind of harm came to them, so Penfold can resume his place at work and the girls can carry on where he left off" Squawk added.

"It also fits in perfectly with what I was telling the girls earlier" Penfold said.

"So I guess it's now all up to them...mmm...K?" joked Danger Mouse, hoping everyone would join him in a rapturous burst of laughter fit to end the adventure on.

But they never did.

And as for Duckula and Dawn, both were still in the derelict looking recording studio. Dawn had by now been tied and hoisted up to join the captive Duckula.

"Maybe I should just wait until I can catch up to the Mouse after all" she said to herself.

"You're still a bit too young to face the music" said Duckula.

"Like I'm going to listen to someone as out of tune as you" said Dawn.

And so we leave our bickering beauty and the beast with a beak, and bid everyone adieu until the next time the world faces a threat so heinous we're left with no choice but to call on Danger Mouse, and the world's greatest secret k-gent...Earnest Penfold, aka Poldeu.

K-gent...get It.?

Because...the whole story was about K-Pop...and...and...

Oh never mind.
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Old March 3rd, 2019, 09:35 AM #70
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I don't even know what Danger Mouse is, but for you Cameron, I'm gonna check this out. Looks very well written as per your usual.
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Old March 4th, 2019, 01:40 AM #71
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Thanks Kev, it's nice to know hard work can convince people to try out new things.

The show's first season is available on Netflix if you're curious.
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Old March 23rd, 2019, 03:04 AM #72
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(contains spoilers for "We Are Not Family"


Fun for all the family.

Only Dawn Crumhorn didn't have one to speak of. Her father was off-world, and she had felt quite adrift without him. She could ill afford small pleasures.

She was here on business, trying to attain the helmet of ultimate power, and wield its ferocious abilities to lay mastery of the entire universe.

It stood there, in the middle of the strictly ballroom, inside a glistening glass container, its elegance mesmerising her. If its physical appearance could give her Goosebumps, she could only dream of what its great power could do to unnerve everyone else.

There was, however, a catch. Everyone had to participate in a ballroom dance off; the most mesmerising couple to grace the dance floor would come away with the prize.

She had reluctantly selected her partner for the event, a narcissistic showbiz obsessed dimwit called Duckula.

He insisted the whole time she keep her eyes trained on him as they danced, but he was in actuality referring to the small pocket mirror he had attached to the front of her dress so he could make direct eye contact with himself and not her for as long as they participated in the contest.

Perhaps it was to take his attention off of his dance partner and all the potential gossip surrounding her? Perhaps there was only so much divisive publicity he could take and he needed to win so he could control what people said or did through the use of the helmet.

Not that she would allow him. That helmet by all rights would have been hers.

Maybe she was giving herself too much credit, and who could blame her? She had been made to feel quite special over the last month or so by another person much older than her.

That person was in the room right now, and he had cheated her out of her grand prize. He had posed as a simple holiday tourist and given a performance that rivalled even the waltz they had shared under the northern lights.

With somebody else.

That's what hurt the most.

Somebody else.

Not just anybody, but the prickly hen that had thrown Dawn out of the Danger Agency crime labs when she first met this individual some years back.

What was Danger Mouse doing here with Professor Squawkencluck?

Obviously her mind turned back to the helmet of ultimate power, it was obviously something the Danger Agency had to secure, and so they had posed as a couple to get closer to it.

That had to be it.

Had to be.

Dawn was no idiot; she knew Danger Mouse could not have moved on so swiftly from what they shared over in the arctic. She was still coming to grips with it herself.

Shortly after winning, DM blew his cover and, Greenback had gotten his hands on the helmet, and used to transform into a hulking abomination that would haunt Dawn's tender dreams for perhaps the rest of her days...until the graceful touch of his daughter removed the helmet from his grip and returned him to normal.

Delilah would tell him she just wanted her normal dad back, not something changed by the power he craved.

Dawn was close to collapsing into tears as she thought to just what she would have done to the world if her dad hadn't been there, would he do the same for her as Greenback's daughter had just done for him?

Would he crave normalcy from her? Would she from him? Did she still lack the maturity to see how terrifying reality is for the wielder of such power? How it affects their loved ones?

She stayed out of the way as the villains all scrambled for control of the helmet, with Danger Mouse using his combat skills to take care of each and every one of them.

Before long, the simple ballroom had become host to a sizeable brawl, and Dawn knew the time had come to depart.

Squawkencluck had taken notice of Dawn just as the brawl had begun, and she waited until the fight was well past to inform DM of who she had in her sights.

As Penfold gripped DM and Squawk and insisted they treat each other like a family despite their insistence they were not, DM opted to excuse himself so he could talk to Dawn some more.

"Professor? May I?" asked DM.

"Go, I'll put Penfold to bed" said Squawk.

DM approached Dawn anxiously.

"We really have to stop meeting like this" he joked.

Dawn shrugged.

"I'll always be glad we started" she said.

And in the talk that followed, all traces of business dissipated and the vacation became something altogether more pleasurable.

In that conversation, they all became somebody else entirely.
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Old March 23rd, 2019, 03:05 AM #73
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In the snug security of their caravan at Sidneyland, Penfold rattled off a list of attractions he wanted to go, much to his partner and his pseudo-'father' Danger Mouse's dismay.

He even made mention of the swirly cups at fairgrounds that make you sick when you take a spin in them.

In fact, there were a lot of rides similar to that.

And he wanted to go on all of them.

Squawkencluck was hard at work on modifying Penfold's teddy bear Bernard, turning it into a listening device with which they could tabs on activities in the caravans surrounding their own. They were packed with scum and villainy to the left and right of them, and were mapping out their own plans for their mutual interest, the helmet of ultimate power, located at this very park.

To uncover the extent of their schemes, Squawk, DM and Penfold had been assigned to the mission as an undercover family, DM the father, Penfold the son, and Squawk the mother.

Yes, gender stereotyping. She couldn't possibly have been the sister, or the family friend, or the Aunt, she had to be the 'family matriarch'

The insane thing about it was Penfold swiftly took to their roles as if they'd been playing them all their lives.

He had harassed them in the car, wanting to know when they had arrived at the park, and then insisting he needed to wee, and then, in a most repugnant fashion, relieved himself in the car anyway.

She wondered just why Penfold was so committed to this kind of role, but then, considering all of the other childish things he had done in all the other instances she's crossed her path with his, perhaps it wasn't really in the least surprising.

It didn't bother her much, she was at ease with it, she'd grown to understand it over the years, or at least she thought she had, but it became all too telling later in the evening, after the villains had been put away and the helmet of ultimate power found itself safely back in the Danger Agent's hands, that there was something altogether more troublesome about it.

Penfold had clutched tightly to her and DM, barking on about how he still saw them both as family, despite DM's protests, but this time Squawk sensed there was more sincerity in his little spiel. He was serious about it.

It was then that it truly did hit her, the look she was giving him now was one of a person who felt compelled to answer a calling of sorts in life, this humble little hamster very much depended on the advice, trust, and patience of her and DM to a much more needy degree than she first thought. To him they truly were more than colleagues, friends and partners. To him they had transitioned into an altogether tighter unit, their task was to forever look out for one another, and keep Penfold out of trouble even if their job was to frequently get into some.

Penfold's behaviour was reflective of someone who didn't want the world to change his playful, innocent outlook on things, or to affect friendships with anyone else.

He desired shelter from the storm.

Squawk thought back to her work on Penfold's teddy bear, how careful she had been to stitch it all up properly, making sure the apparatus she had installed did not compromise the soft tender touch of the bear, allowing Penfold to continue giving it warm hugs as he sought to use it for comfort.

Little touches like that, coupled with the hug Penfold was giving her and DM now, convinced Squawk further that looking after him was something to consider.

She felt up to the challenge.

Always as a mother? Maybe not.

Forever a friend? That could work, but it was no guarantee of long-term commitment.

Something more all her days? Time would tell.

It depended on a precise moment of transition much like this one.

The soft, almost resigned look she gave him as he clutched her and DM close to him made her anticipate that moment all the more.

Who knows?

Perhaps this was it.

Just perhaps.
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Old March 23rd, 2019, 03:06 AM #74
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(Contains Spoilers For "Crouching Hamster, Hidden Wagon")

It's good to see that our fearless Danger Agents didn't exactly buy the farm, although literally doing that could well be a possibility in the future.

After all, Penfold's corrupt grandmother was well on her way to new accommodations as her tower was sent rocketing into orbit. Where she lands is anyone's guess, Penfold could easily use his inevitable rise in pay from this day alone to afford a purchase of the fine fertile grounds of fu farm.

"The narrator's got a point here Penfold, why don't you use the farm to hone those skills of yours for use in the field?"

"I told you Chief, these powers only work on farms, and it would be only literal fields I could wield them in"

"I suppose we'd just have to wait 'till all of our arch enemies start fitting agriculture into their agendas"

Professor Squawkencluck's hologram lit up before the anxious eyes of the agents. Danger Mouse braced himself for the worst.

"I see the car is in one piece again"

"Quite so Professor, restored through the harmonious energies of the power wielded by Penfold"

"So I noticed, he really showed you up back there didn't he?"

"I take it all in stride Professor, I'd be just as proud to be Penfold's sidekick as he's as proud to be mine"

"I'd prefer it if you said I was content to be your equal chief"

"Penfold's right Danger Mouse, he's proven his capability in the field, literal or otherwise, it's time you started treating him like he's on par with the rest of them. I would not be floored if the Colonel gave him a higher rank in the chain of command based on his impeccable skills"

"It all really depends on the status quo Professor, now that the episode's wrapped, the next day or week to come could see a total shift in Penfold's characterisation once again. I don't think the Colonel tends to remember the details of every mission he follows, so he couldn't remind him"

"Then it falls to the pair of us then to remind him, fate willing, day in, day out, of what he's capable of being"

Squawk and DM noticed he was looking particularly gloomy.

"Why the long face? You saved the entire world from devilish domestication, you got to upstage ME, dwell on that for as long as this epilogue allows you, use it to inform your next episode as best you can"

"Danger Mouse, can't you see the betrayal by his own Grandmother is starting to have an effect on him? We can delay it as best we can with inane chatter, but eventually that sort of thing, the notion that your own family is willing to use you for power hungry and destructive ends, will creep up on you. It could even compromise him mentally as well as emotionally"

"Then it's best we just put this little escapade behind us entirely, I for one won't miss it"

"Neither will you learn or grow from it apparently"

Squawk looked on as Penfold, his face an all too telling sign of internal struggle.

"Are you going to be alright? Do you want to talk when you get back?"

"Oh I'm not that down in the dumps Professor, I know how cruel the world can be, that's why I rely on you and the chief so much in my life, there's a lot of light still left in you two, and so long as there's light, there's still life in this spry young hamster"

"Even as family fails you, you still have faith in your friends. That's what makes you a valued asset to us all Penfold, and that's why you're my hero"

Squawkencluck blew a kiss at Penfold and turned off her holo projection.

"I have to admit Penfold; I think I'm starting to understand just how frustrated you can get with the Colonel forgetting your name. It's just dawned on me that he associates that kind of forgetfulness with rank rather than wilful ignorance. Once you started proving yourself in battle, he swiftly started calling me by different names rather than my own. Losing your name, your sense of identity, and feeling like no one cares enough to remember it, can seem very cruel, especially when it comes from a close source"

"Crueller than blood?" Penfold asked frustratingly.

DM squirmed as he saw his point. Perhaps it was best to quit while he was behind.
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Old March 23rd, 2019, 03:06 AM #75
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(Contains Spoilers For "Jam Session")

"You shouldn't let Danger Mouse influence your decisions; you should let me influence your decisions"

These were words she had meant at the time, but now, as she massaged Earnest Penfold's teddy bear Bernard with her tender touch, she felt compelled to walk back on them.

She was at this point a total hypocrite.

It was staff appreciation day, meaning the agency was planning a day out for the entire roster. Danger Mouse had suggested they make the decisions this time rather than endure another droll day in the local park eating jam sandwiches.

Squawk had her sights on cos-con, the largest pop culture fan convention in the world, but DM wished to tackle the high-octane thrills and spills of Awesome World.

They argued, they fought, and they only ended up annoying the colonel, who put the decision of where to go squarely in Penfold's lap.

DM decreed Squawk's interests trivial and boring and that Penfold should select Awesome World. This unnerved Squawk to an intense degree, and it gave her all the more motivation to keep moving forward with her intention to net a day out at the convention.

To do that, she would have to win Penfold's favour. There would be little problem with that.

After all, she knew what he liked, and had ordered a massive hamper filled to the brim with sweet, succulent Jam, making the mistake of actually describing her order as a bribe.

To her, it was a little private joke, a petty office rib, something to laugh about after the day out was over, but it served to expose her intentions to Danger Mouse, who swiftly called her out on things, leading to another squabble and fight that Penfold had to step in and put a halt to.

Penfold soon let the competitiveness over him and his choice get to his head, demanding much more tiring everyday chores from the pair of them, from putting his pencil collection in catalogued order, to washing and drying just about all of his laundry and now here we were.

She had been given the audacious task of massaging Penfold. And she was enjoying it.

It had been perhaps the most personally satisfying of the tasks, though it certainly got her thinking about the long-term ramifications.

Penfold had always made a point of looking forward to spending staff appreciation day with his mates, but 'mates' don't ask other 'mates' to give them back rubs.

Unless you're a professional massage therapist, or a girlfriend who happens to be one, this kind of leisurely activity would be deemed professionally inappropriate between people in the workplace. It was an entirely personal, private matter, and were it any other person under any other circumstance; she would have turned it down.

This was no ordinary person, this was someone skilfully mastered in the agricultural combat technique of farm fu. This was an exceptional field agent who, when the chips were down, could upstage even the world's greatest, and most obnoxious, secret agent to the point he could get the colonel to remember his name.

This was her hero.

So why was she so dismayed to be applying massage techniques to his teddy bear at his request?

Perhaps because she felt he was already being too selfish and needy and that she shouldn't be enabling his childishness.

That was why she felt she'd become a hypocrite, because she wanted Penfold to enable her own adolescent habits. The cos-con convention was a haven for man-babies, nerds, cultists and other assorted social exiles, but it was the only place she felt she could let loose her inner child.

She wanted to share that joy with Penfold, DM could tag along and pretend to be thoroughly drained by the experience, but she knew he'd perk up at the mere sight of the Melted panel that she knew would be running. Anything that reminded him of Dawn would make that day a win for him.

As she reluctantly massaged Bernard, Squawk had only Penfold's pampered attitude and her own private thoughts for company. She couldn't share them with him for fear it'd put him in an awkwardly emotional spot.

She had to put up with Penfold's braggadocios attitude as his friends continued to put his needs before their own, all to leave a lasting impression on him so he could make a firm decision on where to take them.

Not being able to talk about her feelings was one thing, but she was also putting up with Penfold's selfishness, which was only serving to stir up more aggressive feelings. Either way, it was unbearable.

That's why she wished she could walk back on what she said earlier, because now Penfold was influencing her decisions, and she liked to be in charge of her destiny, their destiny.

To make the day out the best it could possibly be, she had to make Penfold feel the best he could possibly be.

Perhaps, she thought, that's how a friendship and something beyond even that, works.


Last edited by Cameron Samurai; April 4th, 2019 at 08:35 AM.
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Old March 23rd, 2019, 03:07 AM #76
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(contains spoilers for "Danger-Thon")

Squawkencluck could scarcely believe it as she watched the footage play out in full.

Danger Mouse squirmed as it was broadcast to millions tuning in to CBBC.

The Colonel kept his thoughts on the matter to himself, he tried to rationalise what was unfolding as being vitally necessary to keeping the Danger Agency operational and out of Quark's hands.

The telethon had been an unparalleled success due to the appetite for this kind of material. Danger Mouse, in his own way, had done it again.

There he was, messing around in the Danger Agency's laboratories, attired in high heels, a white lab coat, his lips ruby red with lipstick, pouring various unstable chemical concoctions into beakers and getting caught in several miniature explosions that wrecked havoc on the lab interior.

How he'd been able to cover the damage without being detected was a plot hole not even I, your humble narrator, had the attention span necessary to explain or plug. This had been one of my off days.

Penfold wondered how this kind of cross-dressing cosplay was getting past the radar.

I suppose someone should tell the hapless hamster it's 2019 now, such things are commonplace in modern society, and certainly will be the norm in a couple of more decades whether you can put up with it or not.

"Professor? You seem a little shaken" Penfold said to a visibly unstable Squawkencluck, a noticeable twitch in her eye.

She mourned for the absolute state of her lab in this video, but deep within her, there was a sense of vindication.

For too long, she had wondered how others viewed her, if they were perhaps envious of her, frightened of her, or if they dismissed her out of spite or general disinterest. She sometimes didn't make herself the most approachable of people, and that was certainly true in the beginning.

Here was someone in her shoes, literally, a klutz of an agent, a routine thorn in her side, but one who'd grown into a close friend, flattering her in his own way, putting himself at risk all to put himself through her kind of paces.

Professionally she had to be embarrassed, professionally she had to be outraged, but personally she could not stay angry at the fruitful flattery on display.


Somebody actually enjoyed being her.
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Old March 23rd, 2019, 03:08 AM #77
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(Contains Spoilers For "Duplicate Mouse")

The universe, it began with a bang, the biggest bang creation had ever seen, and the first thing creation had ever set any eyes upon, if the stars had an eye that is.

And now all of creation was at the Danger Agency's fingertips, or rather a version of the Agency.

Having perfected her warp drive, Professor Squawkencluck had succeeded in transporting the entire Mayfair headquarters, its occupants, and the rogue artificial life form Big Head, away from the Earth and into the deepest recesses of space.

Even I, your humble narrator, was duplicated and can accompany them on their long trek. Who knows where we'll end up?

"Perhaps that big blue orb perched next to the regular Earth?" asked Penfold as he stared at the monitors keeping tabs on their home sector of space.

I'll just take a little look myself to see what he's on about; let me adjust my specs a little.


Oh drat.

It seems the entire Earth has been duplicated.

"That can't be good can it?" asked Penfold as Squawkencluck entered the lounge area twirling a spanner in her right hand and whistling a merry tune.

"Penfold, it's still a place we can call home when our journey is over with. All I need do is attach the warp drive to the very core of the planet and we can take it with us" she replied.

"That's all well and good Professor, but what if it takes a little while to achieve that? A week is a long time in politics"

"Politics? Whatever are you on about?"

"Well, think about it, the notion of two Earths co-existing gives the governing bodies a lot of food for thought on what to do with both. Both could argue each world can house immigrants that the various lands can ill afford to keep accommodating. There could be even be a delay on Brexit on one Earth or allow a no deal to pass so we could allow a deal to go ahead on the other Earth just to experiment and see just what the result is on that Earth"

"I think you're letting your imagination run away with you"

"I have to, it's important. Two Earths means we get a chance to do the things we'd never have time for normally with just the one of us. Our counterparts can perhaps go the extra mile, act on impulse, take life by the horns and steer it towards our goals without fear or repercussion"

"Hmm, you have a fair argument there" Squawk replied, checking her watch to see what time it was.

"I've got about five minutes of working hours remaining...strange, I don't really see the point in carrying on with work when my leisurely shifts are over. Is that wrong?"

"Not at all Professor, we don't really have any obligation to our jobs as we were, since another version of us has taken up those positions on Earth. We can do what we like, that's the real kick to this. Remember what I said? Second chances, no hesitation"

"Then I think its due time I acted on certain impulses" Squawk responded, a hungry and describable look in her eyes.

She shoved a startled Penfold onto the sofa, took off her glasses, and stared longingly at him.

Danger Mouse suddenly sprinted into the lounge, the rocket pack still attached to his back, only he was now wearing a space helmet

"Danger Mouse, your timing is impeccable" Squawk said with a distinct tone of aggravated annoyance.

"Just deposited Big Head on a passing comet on my way over here, might try riding one next to celebrate; I haven't tried something like that since the whole custard crisis a while back"

DM took the helmet off and cast it aside; an important question was on his mind.

"Squawk, I was wondering, now that we've left the Earth behind, do you think it will be safe in the hands of our duplicates?"

"Why would you ask that? Both of us are as genuine as the other"

"Yes, but I've been thinking that with two of us running around, surely they'll try to think a little different just to distinguish themselves from us?"

"Somehow I don't think his ego could cope with the idea he'd deviate from his own script, he's too much of a perfectionist" Squawk whispered.

"Still, the Chief's raised a valid point, we've got to find new ways of making ourselves unique in the universe, where do you think we should start?" Penfold asked.

"I can think of a few things, why don't we discuss them over dinner tonight? Or perhaps you'd like to spend the evening counting all the new stars we'll see littered across the blackened fields of the unknown" Squawk suggested

"I've never been good with numbers, whenever I count something I go to sleep"

Squawk wrapped her right arm around his shoulder and stroked it tenderly.

"That's fine too; I can keep count for both of us, so long as you're snug and secure sleeping next to someone who loves you"

Penfold smiled anxiously, still unsure of how to feel himself, but flattered by the gesture.

"I guess we'll have to work on putting what we've discussed into practise. I don't suppose you'd still like to stay in the same place as you were before?"

"Tough" she said, rubbing Penfold's head a delicate rub.

Penfold beamed gleefully.

"I guess I'll be giving up my favourite thing about this place then"

"I'll be happy to help you adjust to something better" Squawk said.

"Or someone" Penfold said, clutching her hand.

Danger Mouse smiled at the scene unfolding before him and stared out at the still blackness alit with bright patches of white. Swirling vortexes and scarlet planets, a cluster of asteroids, time traveller's potting sheds, and intergalactic games of snooker all danced and dashed around him.

Duplicate or not, this was undisputedly real to him.

Second chances, and little to fear.

For the original, this was life on the very edge of existence, for a duplicate, this would be life on the very edge of the mirror.

The original could reflect on all the choices he had made to get him to this point, and the duplicate could reflect those choices.

Either way, the world's greatest secret agent would just keep ascending, the galaxy was only now beginning to see the Danger Agencies' stars rise.

And these stars had eyes.
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Old March 23rd, 2019, 03:27 AM #78
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(Contains Spoilers For "The Supies")

As the Janitor swept the floor of the podium, he felt compelled to start whistling, only to be cut off as soon as he started by the downtrodden host perched at the very edge.

The janitor felt like giving the despairing Duck a piece of his mind, but he realised quickly that the little grief he could give him paled in comparison to whatever was troubling him right now.

So he went back to minding his business, instead he played the little melody in his head and carried on as normal.

Duckula stared out at the now empty hall, and sighed deeply as he reflected on what a corrupt shambles this awards show had been.

Countless awards and categories, and almost none of them were evenly spread out, and in the end, nepotism prevailed over hard earned recognition as Danger Mouse handed his co-workers some of the remaining awards for completely made up categories, making a mockery of the whole proceedings.

Virtually everyone in attendance was likely feeling just as dispirited as him, only they weren't willing to hang around and convey it. A true pity, as misery does enjoy company.

Duckula wished someone, not just sanitation, could have remained where they were so he could share his grievances.

He got his wish.

"Hey" came a voice from behind Duckula, a purple haired bombshell in a mesmerising pink dress, who gently sat down beside him at the podium.

"Hi" Duckula replied as Jeopardy Mouse kicked off her high heels and dangled her blistering feet over the edge, her head gently leaning on Duckula's shoulder. He let it rest there.

"Some night huh?" she said.

"Tell me about it, I can't believe the mouse beat me at my own game" Duckula said with a despairing groan.

"The sponsorship deal?" Jeopardy said, making a guess as to what was frustrating him.

"That's the kind of thing I'd do to net an award I didn't deserve, to think Danger Dork was low enough to resort to it ahead of me speaks volumes about how much I keep my own standards in check to impress the casuals at home"

"You know, my agency could launch an investigation into the Mayfair branch for pulling these tactics. We're supposed to be funded exclusively by our governments; we're not a commercial branch" Jeopardy explained.

"Good point, I'd leave it to Ofcom, but they can't seem to find fault with Big Brother's punch gate or that big fracas on Loose Women"

Jeopardy giggled.

"For what it's worth, I thought you were great out there, you conveyed every emotion we were all feeling whenever Danger Mouse picked up one of our awards. Frustration, annoyance anger, weariness. You have real range"

"It all comes naturally to me, I have a beak for this business, I can see a rat, or in this case, a mouse, coming a mile away"

Jeopardy by this point was reflecting on what the results of the supies said about the calibre of Danger Mouse's character.

"He must feel quite threatened by the rest of us to pull off this sort of power play behind the scenes, just what is it about the 'world's greatest secret agent' that compels him to seek out the spotlight so publicly, exposing how he acts, how he thinks, to the whole world?"

"Honest to a fault, something no one else I know in Hollywood is willing to be" Duckula replied.

"In all the time I've known you, you've been pretty upfront about the sort of person you are too, you make no attempt to hide how inflated your ego is" Jeopardy revealed, stroking his beak.

"I guess like-minded egotists really can't stand it when they're shown up by another of their kind, it causes them to begrudgingly reflect on their own choices and behavioural patterns. They don't like what they see, and they aspire to be better people" Duckula explained.

"The lessons they learn never stay with them, that's the real kicker" Jeopardy added, "People like me? Oh we were big deals when this all began, but whenever we appear now, we end up as background extras even at events that are meant to honour our achievements. I didn't even get a line of dialogue this episode. Just think of the acceptance speech I could have given. You know what hurts the most? When the Mouse had a change of heart and awarded Squawk, Penfold, and the Colonel with awards that celebrated their anxieties and mistakes of all things, he never approached any of the other agents that make up his circle of friends, not even me. I invited him and Penfold to the states for thanksgiving, and that's all the thanks I get"

Duckula offered her a tissue to dry her eyes, slightly smudged by running eye liner.

"And now a word from your biggest sponsor: Calm down, this is just what happens when you let that sort of Danger into your life. Stick with people who know their way about this town. You have a grasp of the world, all he has is a grasp on his own, and no one can fill an island by themselves. He learned that tonight, but you've always known it...and I've always known it. Why else do you think I reach out to touch so many people with my impeccable talents? I want to reach out and to be reached out to. I want to connect and show everyone what I can do, I wanted other agents celebrated tonight, I wanted to be part of an event that could surprise and move so many, I love to see people moved, but it's a whole other thing to see them moved to frustration. A part of me envies what Danger Dweeb did today, because it's the kind of controversial reaction I wanted to lay claim to in my own lifetime, and certainly ahead of everyone I know"

Jeopardy handed Duckula back his tissue, her eyes dry once again, and clasped her hand on his beak to keep him from rambling further about himself.

"Check your ego at the door Duck, I'd prefer it if we were all on equal footing where we're going. Danger Moth's waiting outside to take me back to the airport; we could do with your calibre of charm on the ride over there, you down with that?"

Duckula nodded, she released her iron grip on his beak.

He'd dealt with enough downs for one day, this he was totally up for.

Arm in arm, they walked down the podium, across the hall, and towards the car park.

As he watched the two leave, the janitor swiftly broke into a serenade of whistled melodies.
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Old March 23rd, 2019, 03:27 AM #79
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> Cameron Samurai
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(Contains spoilers for "The World Is Full of Stuff")

In the not too distant future, the sky was clear, the air was crisp, the garden was lavish. It was a beautiful spring day. The conditions were perfect.

As Squawk headed up the aisle towards the mouse of her dreams, the plucky professor had a lot on her mind, and something on her lips.

It was the lingering after taste of a special brand of DM's cologne, something she had developed for all of the male Danger Agents back in the day. Its potency had a duration of over fifty years.

She had been living with the scent of that cologne pressed on her lips for what had been five or six years now, ever since DM retrieved that key from her mouth on the alien hillbilly Flarg's ship.

She wondered whether or not she was in love with the remarkable results of her own invention, or the dapper looking mouse that was eagerly anticipating her arrival by his side to exchange vows.

She wasn't quite sure what to make of the future now, a little part of her reflected on all the trouble the futuroid camera had caused that had contributed in part to this moment in the first place, though it wasn't the full story.

Everything that day felt almost like life and chance had been playing them all for fools, tapping into their worries, their hesitations, and then pulling the rug out from under them with a remarkably amusing outcome.

The Colonel was beside himself with frustration when he found he was destined to stand side by side with Baron Greenback, only for it to be revealed as a wax model he found while later attending Madame Tussauds.

She and DM spent most of the day trying to awkwardly tip toe around one another to avoid a clash of lips. Precisely the kind of story you end up telling the grandkids.

Perhaps they could omit the little detail of how the first time came about was all to acquire a key she had in her mouth.

Or perhaps she could tell them the only one who didn't appear too shaken by what was to come in his future was Penfold.

Her earnest little Penfold.

When faced with humiliation from his peers as they caught sight of him in a pink tutu, he didn't hesitate to point out he normally preferred to wear purple onrd. He didn't fear the mockery, he welcomed it. He was comfortable in and out of his own skin.

This was a man who was not afraid of the future, and it inspired her to be just as fearless.

She thought of him fulfilling his destiny as he bit into the camouflage doughnut she invented that allowed whoever ate it to blend in with their surroundings, transmogrifying his appearance and giving him that attire.

While this was the first of destiny's maddening tricks that day, it was not the cruellest.

The cruellest part of the whole ordeal was that the first time wasn't with him, and the more she dwelled on it, it was indeed the first sign of squandered chances and choices concerning him.

Life is short, and love is fleeting.

At the end of it all, nothing is safe from entropy, noone from death.

Perhaps if you're lucky, really lucky, and if you believe in life beyond death, those you love will follow you in a short span of time, and you can get those second chances you never had in life to make it all right, to say what's on your mind and express what's in your heart with people you wish you could make time for.

Why does life have to hint at one direction, only to then thrust you into another?

Were affairs of the heart truly this inconsistent?

Were they ever truly fair?

She knew Penfold, for now, wouldn't worry about any of these things. He wouldn't want her to either.

For now she would remain fixed on the day, the mouse in her life, and a dream come true.

All her loved ones were in attendance, her parents to the left of her, beaming with pride, to the right of her was Penfold, giving her enthusiastic thumbs up.

She blew a kiss at him, taking advantage of a rare chance offered by life and destiny, a way to thank him for all he meant to her, even now.

Now was all they had left.

The future awaited her, and the future had danger written all over it.

Danger was on her mind.

And as soon as the vows were exchanged, danger was again on her lips.
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Old March 23rd, 2019, 03:28 AM #80
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> Cameron Samurai
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(Based off ideas by bravekid)

Squawk wondered just where he was right now. This heroic hamster.

He slept soundly, he was physically present in the Danger Agency A&E, wired up from head to chest to toe by heart monitors, but where was his mind? What was it conjuring up to help him cope with a situation that was crippling his body?

As she monitored his condition, checking the instruments for vital signs, she stared longingly at his features, his eyelids firmly closed, his mouth drooling, his arms clutched tightly around his faithful bear Bernard.

At times, his grip on the bear loosened, and the toy came close to slip from his hold and drop to the floor, but Squawk was able to catch it and, as gently as she could, slip it back into Penfold's hands.

Colonel K arrived at the Danger Agency A&E, concern on his face.

"How is Preston doing?"

Squawk could feel the minor pangs of frustration build up inside of her, annoyed that even in these crucial hours the Colonel could not bring himself to address Penfold by his correct name.

Nevertheless, she opted to be professional around him.

"His heartrate hasn't spiked in hours, if we keep him in this medically induced state, his vitals should resume as normal"

"Remind me to raise his salary"

Get his name wrong again, and you'd best worry about raising his temper Squawk thought to herself.

The Colonel walked over to the desk beside Penfold, containing a jar of custard jam.

"Is this the sample the boffins at the lab requested?" he asked.

"Yes, when we managed to pump out Penfold's stomach, we made sure to leave some scraps for research"

"Splendid, I'll just help myself to a small spread; I need something to put on my toasted ham sandwiches"

"Excuse me? Colonel, I hope you're aware Penfold almost gave his life consuming a whole factories worth of that stuff because Greenback had contaminated the Jam with a special chemical that caused it to expand upon contact with the digestive tract"

"By 'digestive' I thought that just meant it turned your stomach into a whole-wheat biscuit, and whole-wheat is good for you"

"Just tell me how long it'll take for Danger Mouse to get here. People can hear people talk even when they're in comas you know, a little reassurance from his best friend would do Penfold a big favour on the road to recovery"

"Danger Mouse is still in charge of the cleanup operation down in Bristol, he can't be spared"

"It would help if you could give him and the other agents something better to work with than just a pair of mops so they could get the job done quicker"

"If you're so certain Penfold can hear us, why don't you talk to him?"

Squawk was startled at the suggestion.

"Me? What could I possibly say to him? His head's so thick you might as well be describing his waist, there's no way I could talk to him about my interests in scientific advances using technical jargon without it coming across as gibberish, I'll feel like I'm wasting my time"

"Well, you two have a lot in common, what about that musical you're so fond of? I've seen you and Penfold play a lot with that toy walrus"

"Ok, home comforts, expressions of our friendship, I catch your drift, I'll try it"

"Splendid, get on with it and get him out of what little jam he's still stuck in, I'll get what I can out of this jam"

Fine, digest the day's events, but you won't come out the other end smelling like biscuits thought Squawk.

She turned to the comatose Penfold, and her mind drifted back to what she thought about earlier, the matter of his mind and where it had drifted off to.

She thought of how to best put her case forward, how to speak to him as meaningfully as she could, from the heart, with feeling, with love.

And through song.

"Where are you now?

Your tiny thoughts?

Everything you wish you were

Locked away in the box?

Where are you now?

What can you see?

Is there somewhere, some place, some time

You can spend with me?

I know what you are

You're in my sights

I know all that you desire

I live your life

Heaven knows where you've landed

And heaven lies right here

Half of your world in the distance

Your better half is near

For I've seen what lies

In one man's worth

You fight forever where you've landed

Just another place on Earth"

"Professor?" a weary and groggy Penfold said as his eyes opened and he began to stir

"Oh Penfold, you're awake, lie still, I'll call in the rest of the staff"

"What was all that racket about? Is it X-Factor season already? Have I been out for the whole of spring and summer?"

Squawk snarled, she clenched her fists and glared sharply at Penfold.

"You thought there was a racket?" she said, scowling.

"Quite a din, but I have to admit, it was catchy. Who was singing?"

Squawk decided Penfold was in too vulnerable a state to bellow at, and chose to cover up for her impromptu music session.

"Oh, just one of the nurses, you know how they get on late night shifts"

"It's 7:40 in the morning" Penfold replied.

"Well that's technically the middle of the night in other time zones" Squawk explained.

"Oh, I never thought of it like that before" Penfold said.

"Well, I'd best get going, pop 'round to the lab when you're good to go"

"Professor? Could you stay a little longer please?" Penfold said

Hesitantly, Squawk tried to make some excuse to turn the request down.

"Well, Penfold, I, you see, I..."

"It's just, I've never been in a situation like that before, it really makes you think about how long you've got left to tick, I'd rather spend some time thinking it over with a good friend"

Squawk beamed, she walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out for Penfold and gently cradling him as he rocked back and forth with Bernard clutched tightly in his arms.

"I was thinking Professor, that last lyric of the song I heard, it reminds me of that other Earth that wound up getting duplicated when you activated the light speed drive, have you been observing activity on it like you said you would?"

"Yes I have, it doesn't quite mirror what we're up to over here. I've recently gotten married over there"

"Really? Didn't think you were the marrying kind, who was it to?"

"Danger Mouse" Squawk replied, trying not to break into hysterics at the absurdity of the notion.

Penfold, however, was very easily triggered by the idea, and did all the laughing for her.

Squawk smiled, laughter was the best possible medicine, and it was taking his mind off of his mortality, anything that made him happy made her ecstatic.

She thought a great deal about that other Earth, about the alternative choices her double had made, and wondered just what she was thinking.

How could that double pass up any opportunity to spend time in the company of this hamster, this hero, her hero, forever more?

She vowed that she would never pass that opportunity up.

It moved her, it shaped her, it made her feel accomplished, and it made her feel desired.

It's what made her tick.

If there was a chance to be there for him forever more, she would change her mind on which she was now.

She'd become just another loved one, with just another loving family.

In just another place on Earth.

Last edited by Cameron Samurai; March 28th, 2019 at 03:07 AM.
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