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Old October 15th, 2018, 11:19 PM #1
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> Ravie
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Ravie
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Really Quick Beta Reader?

I'm just gonna hold my breath and ask because my 1 toku friend lives in England and it's like 6 am there and she's asleep. Plus she "knows too much" if that makes sense and I need a fresh perspective. So yeah...I don't know where else to ask.
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Old October 16th, 2018, 12:14 AM #2
> hasbro_primo
"One day I shall return."
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 74,041
hasbro_primo
"One day I shall return."
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 74,041



I'm free.
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Old October 16th, 2018, 01:21 PM #3
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I Pm'd you last night
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Old October 16th, 2018, 03:45 PM #4
> hasbro_primo
"One day I shall return."
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 74,041
hasbro_primo
"One day I shall return."
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 74,041



I think it's a very composed literary work, fancier speech and description patterns than people would expect from a fanfic. The way the chapter ends is fine, it starts on a high so ending in quiet contemplation frames it well. Keep up the good work!


Now for the reason you guys keep me around, hunting down spelling errors:

-Preist instead of Priest
-burbed instead of burped
-"far way" instead of far away
-breif instead of brief
-brust instead of brush
-The train on it's (short for "it is") way instead of its (genderless for his/her) way
-desparate instead of desperate/desparately instead of desperately
-"and the remove them"?
-hopsital instead of hospital
-"was inherited" should just be inherited
-"title to passed" should just be title passed
-fascilitate instead of facilitate
-soctor instead of doctor
-feirce instead of fierce
-"he brow" instead of his brow
-site (place) instead of sight (appearance)
-"Extremely autoimmune disease" instead of extreme autoimmune disease
-"out a hand" instead of put a hand
-"she was bright six" instead of she was a bright six
-"she event ended"?
-definately instead of definitely
-Makai Knights tool instead of Makai Knight's tool
-yars instead of years
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Old October 16th, 2018, 11:00 PM #5
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Ravie
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Haha, thanks very much! The version you got was prolly before I sent it through a spell check, but even then, it doesn't catch everything.
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