COPS - SPD Style

[Darky]

Night, the camera rolls as the crew sits in the passenger seat with Bridge.

Bridge: Okay, so we're driving through my hometown of New Tech City. I always wanted to be a cop, mostly because of my parents I guess. I love being a Ranger, it has its bad moments though.

Just then, a radio signal came in over the communicator

Radio: Attention all units, we have a drunk in public on 4th Avenue. Be advised

Within minutes, Bridge arrives on the scene. Walking down the street of the business district street of 4th Avenue, Master Vile staggered down the street. Naked, he carried a bottle of Budweiser in his hand. Parking a few feet away, Bridge got out and walked up to confront the former tyrant.

Bridge: Sir, can I get you to put some clothes on?
Vile: *Beep* you! I *beep* got *beep* *beep* my rights to walk nude
Bridge: Sir, no one wants to see that shit, put on some clothes and stand over here so I can give you a breath test.

Vile did so, trying to walk over to Bridge. Nearly losing his footing several times, Bridge tried to hide the smirk on his face. As Vile opened his mouth, a green gas of alcohol billowed from Vile's mouth into Bridge's face, causing him to nearly lose his dinner. Getting out a small test, he scanned the small remote in front of Vile's mouth. Moments later, the small screen on the remote gave its answer: 'WASTED'.

Bridge: Okay, thought so. Okay sir, I'm going to have to ask you to turn around and be still. You're under arrest for drunk in public. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say WILL be used in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford-
Vile: I know, this is the second time this week. Can we hurry up, I got to be at court in a few hours for the same offense.
Bridge: You were arrested already for it, and you did it again?
Vile: I like beer....

Moments later, Vile is sitting in the back seat of the squad car, bashing the side of his head into the window trying to get out.

Bridge: Well it looks like a bad case of alcoholism. He needs to put some damn clothes on, though, like I told him, no one wants to see his shit. He'll be going down to lock-up for tonight, and we'll have him to court for tomorrow with another charge. Another day in paradise

[Tv1boy]

I love this parody so far! Post more please!

[lycania]

Please post more, like McDonalds, I'm lovin' it.

[Darky]

Day. Jack is now driving with the cameramen in the passenger seat.

Jack: So yeah, I joined to make a difference in the world. Basically I was homeless and saw a lot of sick shit on the streets and wanted to do something bigger to help those who had nowhere to turn. I've been Red Ranger, left, and now am back as a Silver Ranger. Lucky me, eh?

Just then, a car sped past Jack's car, swerving in and out of each lane and nearly hitting other cars in the process. Jack quickly hit the button for the sirens and picked up the communicator.

Jack: Dispatch, I got a speeder on I-80, requesting backup for a spike strip.
Dispatch: Roger that

Jack quickly hit the pedal and sped after the speeding vehicle. Cars swerved to avoid both cars, horns honking along the way. Finally ahead, Jack saw the other patrol cars, a large spike mat laid out in the street in between the two cars. The speeding car swerved to avoid hitting it, but was too late, as it skidded over the spikes and popped the tires. Jack got out and started to run to the disabled car, as a Putty got out of the driver seat and started running down the street, wailing its arms as all other Putties do.

Jack: Slow down, asshole!

Jack and the other cops quickly ran after the Putty as it ran to the side of the left end of the highway. Quickly climbing over the guardrail, the Putty jumped, not looking to see that it was a 30 foot drop into a rock quarry. Morphing, Jack leapt over the guardrail and grabbed the downed Putty and leapt back up over the guardrail, demorphing as he landed gracefully.

Jack: What were you doing back there?
Putty: *Putty speak* Blurrb blurrb
Jack: What?
Putty: *Putty speak* Blurrb blurrb
Jack: I don't know what you just said, but I'm pretty sure it's enough for me to arrest your clay ass and give you Gnarly "Gnot It" Gnome as a cellmate for the next few hours downtown.

Jack slapped the cuffs on the thrashing Putty and threw him into the backseat of his squad car. The Putty threw his head about, yelling more in Putty speak as Jack turned back to the camera.

Jack: I don't get it, aren't these guys supposed to take a test to speak at least ONE Earth language when they come here? It's getting to be like LA around here. Well what can you do?

[lycania]

Ha-ha. Your amazing!

[iRanger]

I LOVE IT! Well i Love how the United Aliance Of Evil has fallen and is NOTHING now

[DarkStarShadow]

It's two of my favorite things, but put together! WHEE!

Please continue!

[Lunar Wolf Ranger]

I'm now wondering what Jack's suit looks like?

[FlashmanX]

kuddos man great idea

and today i needed a laugh so you made my day

keep it going

[Miss Wicked]

I love this! Putty-speak... XDDD

Keep up the tastiness.

[Darky]

Night. Sky is now riding with the cameramen in the passenger seat.

Sky: It's been quiet, too quiet. I've been at this the longest out of the others, besides Cruger, of course. I got in basically to prove myself that I can be like my dad....then Jack stole my color....but I got it later....now he's Silver....which now I wish I had since that's a cool looking suit. Something doesn't feel right though. Nothing has happened, and-
Dispatch: Tate, we got a report of a domestic dispute. Since you're good at that, and the others are out at McDonalds, you get the call. Coordinates are as follow.

Sky sighed as he looked to the digital map in his dashboard. Flicking on the sirens, he turned the car around, making two cars following behind him smash into each other as he sped off. Minutes later, he arrived at a medium-sized house on the outskirts of the city. Pulling up, he slowly got out of the car and noticed the silence. Looking around to see if anyone was armed and waiting, he slowly approached the quiet house. Just then, a loud rumble shook the ground and nearly knocked Sky off his feet. Just then, the Q-Rex burst out of the roof of the house, as the Eagle Wildzord flew through the sky, rolling as it avoided gunfire from the Q-Rex's gauntlet hand.

Sky: Aww goddamnit, not again! These people have had us out here twice a week for the last seven years! (Into communicator) Yeah, dispatch. It's the Meyers again. I need backup.
Dispatch: What, is it worse this time?
Sky: They're using zords.
Dispatch:......I'll call Cruger.

Riding atop the Eagle, Taylor was morphed and stood solid as a rock atop of the Eagle's head, thanks to the Morphing Grid power.

Taylor: You son of a bitch! I hope you die horribly!
Eric: Bring it whore!
Sky: Wait!

The Eagle flew at a fast speed for the Q-Rex's chest, doing an upper cut as it approached. The slamming hit knocked the Q-Rex, Eric still on top of it, backwards down on top of a neighbor's house in a fiery explosion.

Sky: Aww man, look what you did. You just killed Zordon again!

Cruger's car pulled up at that moment. Jumping out of the car, Big Mac in his hand, Doggie ran up to the sight and looked around.

Doggie: What happened? Wait...is that Zordon's house?
Sky: Yeah
Doggie: Bastards! This ends now!

Pulling the Shadow Blaster from his belt hilt and fired two shots at Taylor, knocking her off the Eagle and causing the Wild Zord to crash land into the street on a passing WormTank. Running over the the downed Ranger, the SPD cops ran over to check Taylor, as Eric limped over.

Eric: You blew up my zord, you bitch!
Taylor: Better than when you blew up my mom's car!
Eric: Hey! It ain't my fault she put diesel fuel into a regular tank! I can't believe how fucking stupid you are!
Taylor: You-!
Doggie: Stop it! Weren't you two seeing a psychiatrist for this?
Eric: Well, yeah...but he's no good
Sky: Just because Darkonda says he's a doctor, doesn't mean he is. He bought his degree off of ebay from some guy name MegaRed....both of whom are under investigation I may add.
Doggie: We told you that at least 50 times. Now you killed Zordon....again. Now he'll have to be reborn in another 10 years!
Eric: That's her fault, officers. I did nothing this time.
Doggie: No, but you probably provoked her, like you half of the time do. You're both under arrest for manslaughter, distubring the peace and destruction of private property.
Taylor: Nice job, Eric. Now we'll both be Tommy's hoes in prison.

After Doggie put them into the squad cars, Sky and Doggie both stood before the camera.

Doggie: Maybe now they'll both wind down enough to get real help.
Sky: Let's hope. Seven years is enough to deal with anybody

[lycania]

Wow! The eps just keep getting better and better.

[Darky]

Night. Syd is driving a car with the cameramen in the passenger seat.

Syd: Well, I come from a rich family. My parents are both very wealthy....so I...don't know why I'm a cop....oh yeah....to help...and kick people's asses.
Cameraman: So wait, if they're rich, how did they get that way on a cop's salary?
Syd:.....I don't know....ask Bruce Kalish, he made that part up....I think he was stoned at the time, because we've had to put him into a card at least four times

Syd continued to drive down the street for another fifteen minutes. Turning the corner onto another street downtown, she saw Archerina, Divatox, Astronema and Trakeena on the corner, Justin standing by talking with them.

Syd: Hold up, looks like a prostitution thing going on here.

Syd parked the car and quickly jumped out after calling for backup.

Syd: Evening, everybody. Something going down here?
Justin: Not yet, go away. I need to get laid this time
Archerina: Dumbass humans.

At that moment, Z's car pulled up. Getting out, Z was accompanied by Jack as the two backup Rangers walked over to give Syd some help.

Jack: Divatox? I thought you told me last night you quit this stuff?
*Everyone stares at Jack*
Jack: When...when I nearly busted you...because you were dressed the same...and in the store...I mean...yeah....
Divatox: Hey, it's a free country, I can sell what I want, when I want!
Archerina: Damn organics, just shut the *bleep* up!
Z: Okay, everyone turn around, time for a search.
Justin: Me too?
Syd: Especially you

Turning the group around, the SPD Rangers began to pat the hookers down. Within seconds, Jack pulled out a bag of Singing Squash leaves from the dimensional rift on Sorcery 7 out of Astronema's pocket.

Jack: What is this?
Astronema: Good stuff...want some?
Archerina: Oh goddamnit....
Jack: No. You know this is illegal, right?
Trakeena: Hey, you want some action tonight, Silver Ranger? Maybe that can make this go away?
Archerina: Damnit...
Divatox: We can even go for your lady friends too. Come on Jack, this isn't the first time.
Archerina: GODDAMNIT! SHUT THE *BLEEP* UP! THIS AIN'T HELPING!
Z: No, I think it is, what is going on Jack?
Jack: Nothing. Who you going to trust, me, or a hooker?
Syd: Good point. Okay, you're all under arrest for prostitution, and Justin is under arrest for attempting to be a john and because of the fact he IS Justin.
Justin: Hey, you can't do this, what about due process?
Jack: Okay, you want due process?

Jack stood back, and held out the morpher. After a few moments, the morpher gave the verdict: guilty. A red 'X' shined on its small screen.

Justin: Aww man..I never even got any
Z: Don't worry, Tommy's back in jail tonight. And with you saying 'aww man' all the time, I think he'll like you.
Justin: No!

As the Rangers were putting the group into the back of their squad cars, a bolt of lightning flashed in the sky, as King Mondo materialized a few feet away.

Mondo: Hey, whatcha doin with mah bitches?
Jack: They're yours? Okay, you're under arrest too for running a prostitute ring.
Mondo: Oh no I ain't, dawg!

Mondo raised his staff to shoot a blast of lightning, but Syd raised her blaster pistol and shot two rounds into the Machine King, blowing him up into a massive fireball. As the smoke cleared, all that remained was his head. The rest of the body broken into pieces, scattered about.

Mondo: This ain't cool, dawg!

Jack stood over the remains, and held up his morpher. A quick flash of light, and Mondo's remains were taken up into a small datacard in Jack's hands.

Mondo: I'll find you, foo!

Within moments, the whole crew was put into the back seats. Standing before the camera, Syd smirked.

Syd: Well we broke up another prostitue ring tonight. Hopefully, we may be able to rehabilitate a few of them. At least we got them away from Mondo. It's funny, he's so powerful, yet easy to destroy over and over. ***.

[Lunar Wolf Ranger]

Too funny! I'm waiting for Sam to come up