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fnwc91
01-18-2007, 07:15 AM
It was the year 3040.

'I hereby promote you, Ransik to the rank of Black Time Squad Ranger.' said Captain Logan, with a smile.

Nadira was beaming with joy. Ever since she joined the time force three decades ago to atone for her mistakes, life changed for the better. She had taken Jen's place and duties as the Pink Time Force Ranger, ever since Jen migrated back to the past to live a blissful life with Wes.

Ransik was estatic. Ever since his encounter with the Mutorgs in the year 2002, he had decided to change for the better. Firstly, he headed a campaign to make humans realise that mutants should not be discriminated by people just because of how they look. After two years of hard work and perseverance, results started to show. As humans treated mutants as their equal, the crime rate started to drop. Mutants did not need to steal for their needs and the humans found themselves with more free time, as they need not bother so much about theft.

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Meanwhile, back at 2003, the Silver Guardians celebrated the marriage of their leader, Wesley Collins.
"You may now kiss the bride."
Wes and Jen gazed at each other lovingly, before their mouths met.

Suddenly, the sound of blaster shots filled the room. Immediately, the Silver Guardians took out their chrono blasters and fired back.

"Cyclobots? Where did they come from?" asked Eric Myers.

"No idea. all I know is that they're out to get us, whatever it takes." replied Wes "TIME FOR TIME FORCE!"

"Great move pal, QUANTUM POWER!"

"Count me in, honey." said Jen, "TIME FOR TIME FORCE!"

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Back at Turtle Cove, it was total chaos. Putties, Cogs Phiranathons, Quantrons, Sting Wingers, Battlings Cyclobots and Putrids were launching a full scale invasion.

"Rangers, I think its time to give your back your morphers." said Princess Shayla, having awoken from her two year sleep.

"Alright," said Cole, turning to the other Rangers, " are we guys ready?"

"Yes."

"WILD

ShadowRanger
01-19-2007, 02:15 AM
Keep this fanfic in a single thread or they will all be closed.

fnwc91
01-20-2007, 07:12 AM
but i dunno how

TOK-715
01-20-2007, 07:47 AM
but i dunno how

Yes you do - you just did it by clicking "Post Reply".

Use "Post Reply" for each of your chapters rather than "New Thread", easy? Oh so very.

GundamExia
01-20-2007, 08:59 AM
Okay....

First and foremost, this chapter is FAR too short. If the rest of your chapters are this short, you're not going to be able to flesh out much of a plot at all. Especially if you're going to fill it with such basic dialogue.

Already there is a somewhat huge problem. You have Pre-LG minions, such as Cogs and Piranhatrons, but you haven't explained how they are there when Zordon's energy wave in PRiS wiped out all those minions along with their masters. And why are all those only attacking Turtle Cove when only Cyclobots are attacking the Time Force Rangers? Seems to me like they should be more evenly distributed among cities. You also don't even explain why they're all attacking anyways. Who is leading them?

The style isn't bad, especially with all the butchered "script" style stories we've been given lately, but it still suffers because of the lack of length and content. I don't post a single chapter of my story "Legend of the Madan Knights" until I've typed at least a few pages in AppleWorks and I'm happy with the level of content and detail.

So basically, just keep your story in one thread, and work on chapter length, content, and maybe try to strengthen the dialogue a little.