View Full Version : Lightspeed rescue to Space patrol Delta: The Bridge
"Restriced Access, i'm afraid" said the guard as Schuyler Tate approached the record room. He sighed. This guy was obviously new here. Oh well, Only doing his job. He reached under his over-jacket and pulled out his RED delta morpher, pressed the button and showed his ID to the cadet.
"Sky Tate, Red SPD ranger." He said. The guard looked at it for a brief second, then stepped back, and keyed in the access code. The doors swung open. Sky stepped inside. The room was dark He spoke out clearly, "Lights on!" The light sparked to life. He went over to the far terminal, Entitled
#1:The fate of Lightspeed.
Good. This was what he was hoping to find. Ever since that dream...
"Lightspeed rescue!" There was a dazzling flash of light and there stood the old team, Cocky Jack in red, His own COOL self in sapphire bluedear old distracted bridge in his familiar green, hard-as-nails Z and Fairy princess Syd in pink. All of this watched over by Sam, the titanium ranger. They were waiting for something. Waiting....Still waiting, fingers itching by their lasers.Then suddenly, something happened. A shape emerged from the shadows. Something came out. No wait, THREE somethings came out. The rangers tensed, and drew their weapons. Then, one of the figures spoke. "Do we attack master?" He turned to the center figure. It had large horns. "Yes..." it whispered in its gravelly voice. Sky and the others had one glimpse of blood red eyes before a black wave screamed from the shadows.
The rescue rangers never even had a chance.
Hope you like this story. More coming if requested.
I got the idea from this when i realised that my SPD toys and Lightspeen toys, (especially the ranger structure, and zord structure) was very similar.
And from everyone who pointed out the similarities.
Thanks for reading it.
Kai
bjlovel
03-26-2006, 02:59 PM
Wait, are you saying the Jack and them were lightspeed before they were spd?
havemercy
03-26-2006, 05:43 PM
This makes NO sense.
*prepares rocket launcher, aims at Kai's face*
Angelfox
03-26-2006, 09:32 PM
Makes a lot of sense to me...lots of writers have used lightspeed and the silver guardians has the foundation for SPD...oh and there is that little thing called time travel...mite wanna aim that rocket at your own face...
Makes a lot of sense to me...lots of writers have used lightspeed and the silver guardians has the foundation for SPD...oh and there is that little thing called time travel...mite wanna aim that rocket at your own face...
Cheers. I know it wasnt very clear, but it was meant to be Sky dreaming and having a kind of vision about the LSR ranger's demise, it was just Sky imagining(or dreaming) his old team(with Jack in) as the lightspeed rangers when they died.
Should i continue the story?
Pohatu
03-27-2006, 03:24 PM
Just as long as you make things that clear in the story. Also, might want to try and add more details in the next addition, that way there's a bit more to read, eh?
Three hours passed.
Sky went through each and every detail, even a video on how it happened. The six Rangers. Carter,Chad,Kelsey,Dana,Joel and Ryan. All six were killed, apparently in an instant. He ran his hands through his hair. It had grown a bit since he had become the red ranger. It was long, and straight, dropping down the sides of his face. He pressed the play icon behind the hydroplastic touchscreen. The videoscan played again.
The rangers walked over to the shadows. They raised their arms as one and their other arm brushed lightly across the raised one. Six coloured insignias rose out of the ground in front of them. They stepped through."Lightspeed rescue!" A flash of white light lit the room. Sky winced and adjusted the brightness. He watched the scene AGAIN for the tenth time.
The rescue rangers stepped forward.
Sky recognised their suits. They were hanging in the Heroes room, along with those of the other power rangers who had helped SPD in various ways. The A-squad rangers were formerly there, but since they were exposed for the filth they were, the suits had since been removed.
Waiting... Then suddenly, the rangers' hands moved toward their holsters. Their was a metallic sound and five ruby blasters and one silver and gold axe wopinted at the shadows. Six gloved fingers inched towards their triggers. A voice spoke from the shadows. "Do we Attack, Master?"A different voice answered with one simple word. "Yes..." A black wave smashed out from the shadows and obliterated the six rangers. Sky watched all six reduce to ashes. There was nothing left. Nothing but ash.
Sky sighed. Maybe he just had to accept it. They had just died. There was nothing to it. He switched off the monitor and it retreated back into its wall-indent. The steel sheet slid back into place. Sky counted to three, and a set of four three-button pads slid into place. The numbers lit up. He went to the door, yawning. The corridors were almost deeserted, apart from the security guards and the occasional cadet rambling across. He keyed in the number and swiped his card. His dorm door opened. Bridge wasnt there. Sky supposed he must be off in his office, doing something or pother with that computer of his. Sky fell onto his bed and drifted off.
Hope you like this chapter better, should clear a few things up.
Also a bit longer.
havemercy
03-28-2006, 01:38 PM
This is by no means a story. Do the dance of shame, Kai.
This is by no means a story. Do the dance of shame, Kai.
How about YOU get VIP and change your fucking hypocritical username?
I like it so far. The first chapter was a bit grammatically flawed, but the concept is interesting.
Silver-Ranger
03-28-2006, 09:59 PM
How about YOU get VIP and change your fucking hypocritical username?
I like it so far. The first chapter was a bit grammatically flawed, but the concept is interesting.
I agree with TBF
Angelfox
03-28-2006, 11:40 PM
I agree with TBF
What he said
havemercy
03-29-2006, 10:25 AM
What he said
What he said.
What he said.
So you agree with me saying you should pay to get VIP and change your username so you don't put yourself out as such a fucking hypocrite? Good to hear.
havemercy
03-30-2006, 07:20 PM
So you agree with me saying you should pay to get VIP and change your username so you don't put yourself out as such a fucking hypocrite? Good to hear.
:005:
Angelfox
03-30-2006, 08:07 PM
:005: :005: havemercy aint very smart is IT.....
:005:
How about YOU get VIP and change your fucking hypocritical username?
I agree with TBF
What he said
What he said.
In conclusion, you agreed with my original statement that you should go VIP and change your username.
Angelfox
03-31-2006, 11:31 PM
In conclusion, you agreed with my original statement that you should go VIP and change your username.
like i said...not very smart....:005: but enough of havemercy and its crap..could we get back to the kickass story??? :confused: :confused: :confused:
like i said...not very smart....:005: but enough of havemercy and its crap..could we get back to the kickass story??? :confused: :confused: :confused:
I am TBF, and I approve and/or agree with this post.
havemercy
04-01-2006, 09:56 PM
Kickass story? Where?
Galwit Mysto!
04-02-2006, 01:19 AM
Kickass story? Where?
havemercy, can't you be nice for once? I think u'd be liked more if you were nice and not so mean.
Kai, this is a GREAT story, no matter what havemercy says! Good Job!:023:
hawkstorm
04-02-2006, 06:35 AM
Kai, great story. Bring on the next chapter. There is a lot of potential in your story.
Angelfox
04-02-2006, 11:54 PM
[QUOTE=Galwit Mysto!]havemercy, can't you be nice for once? I think u'd be liked more if you were nice and not so mean.
:confused: :confused: y bother askin for the impossible??? :confused:
havemercy
04-03-2006, 02:43 PM
havemercy, can't you be nice for once? I think u'd be liked more if you were nice and not so mean.
Kai, this is a GREAT story, no matter what havemercy says! Good Job!:023:
lol that was cute
Galwit Mysto!
04-03-2006, 02:46 PM
[QUOTE=Galwit Mysto!]havemercy, can't you be nice for once? I think u'd be liked more if you were nice and not so mean.
:confused: :confused: y bother askin for the impossible??? :confused:
I dont know why I bothered. I was just fed up. I wanted to see what would happen.
lol that was cute
It wasn't supposed to be cute.
havemercy
04-03-2006, 02:46 PM
It wasn't supposed to be cute.
:005: this is rich
Angelfox
04-03-2006, 03:06 PM
:005: this is rich
yes we are all having a big laugh at how much of an ass you make yourself look like day in and day out...:007: :007:
:eusa_naug
lol, thanks a lot guys.
appreciated.
KAI
Jacen
04-10-2006, 06:10 AM
The chapters are VERY short (a little too short maybe) but they DO show potential.
I'd suggest making them longer, more indepth. But I still think there is potential behind the idea
And ignore havemercy. There will always be fools on this board, you can do nothing about them.
Good luck with your fict, and I hope to see more, longer chapters in the future :), but dun sweat if you can't make them long... Force knows my chapters (in a currently unreleased fict) are not as long as I'd like :(
i know.
Thank you a lot, you and everyone who has supported me.
havemercy, get a fucking life. y dont you write a fanfic, you freak?
Kai
havemercy
04-10-2006, 08:30 AM
i know.
Thank you a lot, you and everyone who has supported me.
havemercy, get a fucking life. y dont you write a fanfic, you freak?
Kai
Awww. That sounds like flaming.
Anyway, this fic is still seriously bad. There is hardly any substance or anything that merits this to be called a story.
Angelfox
04-10-2006, 11:15 AM
[QUOTE=havemercy]Awww. That sounds like flaming.
Crying again We see....:rolleyes:
Kai, this is your story, Angel loves the characters, i just love it in general..its your fic, it kicks ass..way to go dude :023:
new chapter soon??? :confused: :confused: :confused:
Jacen
04-10-2006, 05:36 PM
Awww. That sounds like flaming.
Awe... Didn't Rangerboard use to be famous for that? ^_^
i know.
Thank you a lot, you and everyone who has supported me.
Any time :)
havemercy
04-11-2006, 12:02 AM
Can I have some substance with this story please? It's so easy just to type out something and not actually envision something bigger and take the required time to map, remap, write, and rewrite out a significant fictional story.
My overall reason for harsh replies ... you ready? Writing is a raped art ... raped of quality, raped of inspiration, raped of originality, raped of time. You all fail to see this. It's something bigger than a on-the-fly spark in a young person's mind to begin something without a vision and leave it to be abandoned. It's insulting to people who have taste and posess imagination larger than these "chapters" posted here. It's cute to see a band of 2nd graders play When the Saints Come Marching In out of tune, but if you're playing like that when you're 17 or whatever ... you have some problems.
Yes, I've been unnecessarily harsh and prepared to be shocked again --- I'M SORRY. It's not always right. Sometimes you people have it coming, but what's true is true and there's no way around it. If people here will quit being so thin-skinned, they'd be receptive to posts saying this just sucks and here's why.... Granted I haven't always done that, which is totally hypocritical, but evidently I've given enough legit feedback to where my PM box receives frequent requests to read and review newer fics. Uncushioned and straight-forward honesty isn't a plague, it's the solution to end bad writing and the start of better authors and better fictions. If you can't take the criticism and throw let's see you write a story comments as part of your defense, you shouldn't be writing in the first place. You won't grow because you've chosen not to.
Angelfox
04-11-2006, 07:44 PM
Can I have some substance with this story please? It's so easy just to type out something and not actually envision something bigger and take the required time to map, remap, write, and rewrite out a significant fictional story.
My overall reason for harsh replies ... you ready? Writing is a raped art ... raped of quality, raped of inspiration, raped of originality, raped of time. You all fail to see this. It's something bigger than a on-the-fly spark in a young person's mind to begin something without a vision and leave it to be abandoned. It's insulting to people who have taste and posess imagination larger than these "chapters" posted here. It's cute to see a band of 2nd graders play When the Saints Come Marching In out of tune, but if you're playing like that when you're 17 or whatever ... you have some problems.
Yes, I've been unnecessarily harsh and prepared to be shocked again --- I'M SORRY. It's not always right. Sometimes you people have it coming, but what's true is true and there's no way around it. If people here will quit being so thin-skinned, they'd be receptive to posts saying this just sucks and here's why.... Granted I haven't always done that, which is totally hypocritical, but evidently I've given enough legit feedback to where my PM box receives frequent requests to read and review newer fics. Uncushioned and straight-forward honesty isn't a plague, it's the solution to end bad writing and the start of better authors and better fictions. If you can't take the criticism and throw let's see you write a story comments as part of your defense, you shouldn't be writing in the first place. You won't grow because you've chosen not to.
finally an answer worth reading...but we personally would still love to see somethin of YOUR work..with your opinon and attitude im sure it could be very intriguing to say the least..:icon_fU::icon_fU:
havemercy
04-11-2006, 07:51 PM
finally an answer worth reading...but we personally would still love to see somethin of YOUR work..with your opinon and attitude im sure it could be very intriguing to say the least..:icon_fU::icon_fU:
Perhaps I will post in the future, but for now I cannot. Work and school comes first. RB merely sits as a background window for in-between moments.
Jacen
04-12-2006, 12:33 AM
My overall reason for harsh replies ... you ready? Writing is a raped art ... raped of quality, raped of inspiration, raped of originality, raped of time. You all fail to see this. It's something bigger than a on-the-fly spark in a young person's mind to begin something without a vision and leave it to be abandoned. It's insulting to people who have taste and posess imagination larger than these "chapters" posted here. It's cute to see a band of 2nd graders play When the Saints Come Marching In out of tune, but if you're playing like that when you're 17 or whatever ... you have some problems.
That is no excuse for harsh replies. Me? I'm a terrible writer too... My ficts lack hell of a lot of detail. But if someone gave a harsh reply to mine, I'm sure I'd smack them in the face. Why? Because I work hard on my ficts, they lack detail but their the best I can do.
If you can't take the criticism and throw let's see you write a story comments as part of your defense, you shouldn't be writing in the first place.
Criticism is a very important part of replies to a fict. But it must be constructive.
Personally, I agree with AngelFox... You write something.
Sky woke the next morning, feeling distinctly unrested. The rescue rangers wove in and out of his dreams, always falling to ashes before be could reach them,black shadows, ever present kept whispering the words "it was meant to be..." and for some reason his father flashed up every now and then carrying a black laser.
He went down to breakfast, his chest thrown out so no one could miss his shiny ID tag with the words "red ranger" on it. As he looked up and down synthesiser menu, he felt a strange pang of recognition, as he was thinking about the moment when the black wave shot out of the shadows. He shook his head,. He was just being silly. He knew it. He took a plate of bacon and eggs, toast and jam and a bowl of fruit to the table. Bridge was already there, eating some porridge.
" Morning sky"
"Morning Bridge" said Sky. He looked up. Brigde had a big bruise under his recently grown long floppy hair.
" Whta happened?"
" Oh.. you know... accidents and stuff... or is it stuff and accidents? but it could be both, as they are the same thing but then again it couldnt be... as stuff is accidents, and accidents are stuff... But then, that would make everything stuff, and there would be no need to give an individual name to anything... What do you think, Sky?"
He looked around.
"Sky?"
Sky ran back to his quarters, panting. Thank god. He had escaped. He set his food downon his desk and finished his breakfast. He took his plates and walked over to the transporter, and placed them on the matrix.
"The sinks" he said loudly and clearly. The plates were surrounded for a moment with blue energy, but then vanished. He sighed, putting his head in his hands, running them through his long hair. There had to be a reason for it, a reason that six rangers could be vapourised in an instant. He got up, sat down again, then got up and walked to the record room.
When keyed inside he went straight for the same terminal as usual,
#1 The fate of Lightspeed.
He depressed the sunken Power button and the monitor sprung into life. Sky pressed the play icon. The clip played again. But then... Here was something he had never noticed before. A yellow icon, in the corner of the screen. Sky knew what this was. An Angle button. There was more than one angle of this. He stared at the button. It had been minimised as much as it could be the system administrator, and then tucked away in a corner.
Why?
He pressed the button. The screen froze momentarily, then 8 different block popped up on the screen.
Sky stared. He knew what this was. Someone at lightspeed has recored this attack in a way that meant it must have been publicised.
Someone had Orchestrated this whole affair.
Someone had hired those monsters.
Someone at lightspeed had Murdered the rangers.
havemercy
04-20-2006, 10:59 PM
This gave me a headache. Misused words, jumbled sentence structured. The plot is unclear. Yet a very short installment once more. Two thumbs way down.
If you hate the story so much then dont bother coming back. You just waste space.
Whats the point of making an ass of yourself? you know that as soon as someone else reads it they'll just make fun and laugh at you.
Go on then.
You write something.
I thank everyone who has supported me.
havemercy
04-21-2006, 01:05 PM
So it doesn't bother you that you miused words and have poor sentence structure? Try a writing class, Kai.
well, it does, but then again, im that bad. And even so, id like to see you write a story. Lets see what kind of response you get.
havemercy
04-21-2006, 01:27 PM
I don't need to write PR fiction to know how to write. I've been writing for a long time now and I know this is just plain bad. Does that bother you, that someone says its bad? Even when they tell you why? Does it bother you I don't sugar-coat it? Well get over it. You really should take some writing courses and improve.
Im not a serious writer, i have other commitments such as Coursework and School. This is something i do in my spare time.
It comes down to this: If you dont like the fiction, then dont come back to this thread. Everyone here thinks you are an idiot, no one has supported your frame of thinking.
And really, if you have nothing better to do than come and try and put peoples writing down then it just shows you have no life.
"I have been writing for a long time now" I find that seriously hard to believe. If you were that good at writing, then you wouldnt find any need to keep coming back to this thread.
havemercy
04-21-2006, 01:49 PM
You think everyone here thinks I'm an idiot, but PM box says otherwise with requests to critique other fics. I am free to review as I please and review I shall.
Silver-Ranger
04-21-2006, 04:34 PM
You think everyone here thinks I'm an idiot, but PM box says otherwise with requests to critique other fics. I am free to review as I please and review I shall.
Hahaha that's rich NO ONE in their RIGHT MIND would want YOU to "critique" their Fic or Fic's as YOU cant seem to give anything but DESTRUCTIVE comment's.
havemercy
04-21-2006, 05:51 PM
Ha. Cry babies...can't handle real opinions. Just learn to write.
Galwit Mysto!
04-22-2006, 04:18 PM
okay...so maybe your pm box does fill up...that doesnt mean EVERYONE wants your opinion. Why don't you let them ask you first before just start critisizing? Then you wouldn't have a problem with the people on this board!
Kai, your doing a GREAT job with this fic, and I LOVED the last chapter! Ignore havemercy.
sbb1513
04-22-2006, 04:24 PM
this is a good fic.
Bubblez
Jacen
04-23-2006, 01:35 AM
Ha. Cry babies...can't handle real opinions. Just learn to write.
Tell ya what, lose the attitude and people will lose their opinions of you.
I still think the chapters are rather short, but they do have a good suspense to them. Try doubling or tripling the size of your work :)
EDIT: I know it's not easy from experience through... so... Just keep at it... Experience and skill can only be gained with time.
WILDKAT
04-24-2006, 12:23 PM
i really like what has happened so far but you do need to make the chapters longer by at least 2 times, but other wise you are a good writer
(at least better than me! which actual means you are really good!)
so just keep writing please i want to know how the story ends!
WILDKAT
04-24-2006, 12:26 PM
your welcome
animephreak80
04-25-2006, 01:55 AM
I'm in complete agreement with havemercy. This fic, while having a somewhat interesting premise, needs a great deal of work. The grammar is sorely lacking (Microsft word has this cute little function called spell check - even the atrocious grammar check that Word has would greatly benefit your writing).
The extremely short chapters also work against you. They don't contain nearly enough plot development to draw in the reader... It took you three 'chapters' to even get across what I would consider to be the prologue of this story. Instead of posting something as soon as you write it, it might be a good idea to wait until you get at least a thousand words written.
You should also get a BETA to both proof your story and to help you string coherent, complex sentences together. Short, choppy sentences make for too much unintentional starting and stopping on the reader's part; it detracts from any flow your fic might otherwise have. The reader shouldn't have to work to understand even the most basic of plot points simply because of poor grammar, frequent spelling errors, and an overabundance of three word sentences.
Frankly, this fic has the feel of a third grader's writing capabilities. My cat has accidentally typed out more coherent phrases when randomly walking across the keyboard. If you have so much class work that writing this fic is only an afterthought to you, then that says you're at least in high school. If that's the case, I sincerely hope that you don't turn in this level of writing when assigned a research paper.
And before anyone jumps down my throat about why I haven't posted anything, fic-wise - as you did to havemercy - I'll go ahead and tell you you're wrong. I have several works of fanfiction posted. However, none of it is PR and therefore not appropriate for this site. The SPD story on which I'm working won't be ready for another couple of weeks, at which point I will post it. When that happens, I would be beyond thrilled with the brutally honest criticism - so long as negative comments are explained and not simply flames - from people like havemercy.
On a positive note: while your Sky is horribly OC, you did a rather commendable job with Bridge's characterization. It appears as though you worked hard to get that right, which begs the question: Why don't you pay even half that much attention to detail with the rest of you story?
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