PDA

View Full Version : FIVERATIONS: Merrick's Uuza Phone Faiyaa (Rated NJJ: No Jew Jokes)


ZeoMew2Too
03-24-2006, 02:52 PM
The fact that Lunar Wolf Ranger sent me a request to do this, and the fact that I ended up doing it -- purely coincidental. I don't do requests.

Power Rangers Wild Force
10x16 "The Lone Wolf" Fiver
Amit Bhaumik Ate My Balls: Chris Brockner

Executive Dude: Ryan LeFiverguy
***

Taylor: Last time on Power Rangers Wild Force...
---

Danny: Let's have gay sex.

Max: Okay!

Shayla: Umm, the Predazord? The curse?

Danny: Oh, right.
---

Danny: Look! Bison Zord brought help!

Max: Rhino and Armadillo. It's a symbol of our love, Danny.
---

Cole: Let's play soccer!

Zen-Aku: Um, do we have t-- GAK!

Merrick: Everyone loves soccer! *goes unconcious*
---

Shayla: Merrick! Oh my beloved Merrick!

Merrick: Please don't sing... Oh, please God, don't let her sing.

Shayla: *deep breath*

WF Rangers: Merrick! Merrick!

Shayla: *runs*

Merrick: Well, thank God for small favors. *goes unconcious again*
---

Taylor: Last time on Power Rangers Wild Force!
***
*the reed quarry*

Cole: Merrick! MERRRRICCKK!!

Taylor: You just tripped over him Cole.

Cole: Oh, yeah, right... I knew that!
---

*soon, after Merrick has recovered from the bootprint Cole left on his forehead*

Cole: So, I'm Cole, and I want to be your new best friend! But only because I want to have sex with you.

Merrick: I don't get it. As Zen-Aku, I stole your Wild Zords and tried to kill you all.

FCC Censor: Ahem!

Merrick Well, I "borrowed" your Wild Zords and tried to maime you horribly, anyway. How can you forgive me so easily?

Cole: You have the goatee of Jeebus!

Merrick: Jeebus?

Cole: Yeah. Have you met him? Is he NICE?!

Merrick: You're retarded, aren't you?

Cole: ... ...

...
...

I like pie!

Merrick: That's what I thought.
---

*the Rangers do introductioncakes*

Taylor: I'm Taylor, and I know about Jeebus's secret foot fetish. Eat your heart out, Lisa and Katie!

Danny: I'm Ray Calderon. I'm the administrator for all of RangerBoard.

Max: I'm Edmund??? I SUIT YOU DOWN???

Alyssa: I'm Alyssa, and I dig guys in togas and goatees.

Merrick: Um, wow, what a bunch of weirdos. Especially Cole. I think I need to go decide if trying to kill you was a bad thing or not.

Cole: Can we come with. Then we can all rip our clothes off and run around the forrest hooting like jungle animals!

Merick: <.<
...
>.>

*runs away at 7uDicR0s 5P33D*
---

*the Command Center... only with BEASTIALITY!*

Alyssa: He can't forgive himself for what he did.

Shayla: Well, I'm not sure if I had sex with me, I could forgive myself either.

Alyssa: I meant because he commited Grand Theft Wild Zord and tried to kill us.

Shayla: Oh, right, that...
---

*the beach with all the crabs; no, I don't mean your mother's nether-regions*

Toxica (singing): I love you!

Jindrax (singing): You love me!

Merrick (singing): We're a happy family!

Toxica: Yes we ar-- HEY!
---

*soon*

Master Org: So, I hear you wanted to see me.

Merrick: Yes, I want to pledge my eternal loyalty to you, and then five seconds later try to stab you with Jindrax's dagger.

Master Org: And then?

Merrick: Then I'm going to swallow your Animal Crystals.

Nayzor: Ooh! Sounds kinky!

Merrick: Oh, you have no idea!
---

*are we there yet?*

Merrick: Okay, you may have me backed into a corner here, but at least I still have my Wild Zords!

Master Org: That's where you'd be wrong. Zeltra -- er, Jindrax -- show him who has his Zords.

Jindrax: C'mon out!

Evil White Drego Ranger Clone: Hello, Merrick!

Merrick: Oh, God! I'm Trent Mercer!

Nayzor: Mwuhahaha! Where is your Jeebus now?!
---

Master Org: Now, let me show you the power of the Animal Crystals.

Merrick: Eh, who cares? Animal Crystals are so last week. All the cool kids use Power Discs.
---

*where Shayla's singing has killed off all the real animals*

Behold the Viewing Fountain: Blurbleblurble!

Cole: OMG, Merrick is fighting a combination of all the Hades Beasts that Blagel defeated!

Taylor: Wrong series.

Cole: You're right! We have to go save Merrick from Wrong Series right away!
---

*Pork: The other rock quarry.*

Master Org: I'm going to leave Merrick's destruction to my inept generals and insufficient monster. Even though I could probably just crush him like a bug.

Nayzor: Then why don't you?

Master Org: Eh, crushing people like bugs isn't in my contract until the final episode.
---

*"soon" is NOW!*

Cole: Look, there's Merrick!

Taylor: We know. You tripped over him again.

Cole: Oh, yeah, right. I knew that! NEVER GIVE -- er -- RANGER UP!

WF Ranger: Tenkuu Seija-o, grant us the power of animals! Wairudo wairudo, AKUUSEKUSHU!

*while Merrick gets beaten to within an inch of his life by Quadra Org, the now-morphed Rangers do a long rolecall, complete with color explosions*

Cole: Guardians of the Earth, united we WHORE!

Taylor: Roar.

Cole: You want it that bad, huh?
---

Alyssa: OMG! Quadra Org has Magiking's power!

Taylor: Nope, but he does have the power of the auxilary Zords.

*everyone gets punched in the face by Quadra Orgs's "Cepahla Power Punch"*
---

*after the commercial break, where everyone's being tentacle-raped by elephant trunks*

Merrick: Wait! Nobody kills Cole except me! Battle cry!

Cole: No wait, Merrick! Quadra Org has the power of EVERY Zord... EV4R!!

Quadra Org: I also have tentacles. What you think.

Merrick: I think, NEVER GIV-- *gets PWn'd*
---

Alyssa: No, Merrick!

Max: Save yourself!

Danny: NEVER G-- *gets hit in the mouth with a rock*

Cole: Mmmh! Buttery!

Merrick: Battle cry!

Quadra Org: But you'll ge--

Merrick: I said BATTLE CRY, BiOTCH!

Quadra Org: Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you.

*Quadra Org sends Merrick flying deep down the Rock Quarry, where Andros and some Beetlborgs are filming Forever Red*

Merrick: Damn! It worked for SPD.
---

Red Lion: Hey, um, do you suppose you guys could go back to working for Merrick?

Wolf, Lion, & Hammerhead Crystals: Why?

Red Lion: He's got the Jeebus goatee?

Wolf, Lion, & Hammerhead Crystals: AWMAN!
---

*the moon quarry*

Merrick: Wolf, lion, hammerhead; you've come back!

Crystals: Hey, his goatee isn't like Tomm--

Merrick: Just SHUT UP and make me a morpher!

*the crystals turn into Uuza Phone Faiyaa*

Merrick: Um, good enough.
---

Nayzor: So, you've got a red Uuza Phone. Big deal.

*Merrick starts pushing buttons*

Uuza Phone: Goolu goolu goolu--

Nayzor: OMG! IT'S GOT MAGITOPIA SPELLS! QUADRA ORG, GET ME THAT PHONE!
---

*Merrick Rangers up*

Merrick: Tenkuu Yuusha, Howling Wolfzard!

WF Rangers: 1337!

Toxica: Oh --- no --- not another... Ranger! *convulses*

Shayla (@animarium.net): This calls for a song!

Red Lion: Ah fuck, I'm outta here! *runs*
---

Merrick: I play some dirty pool with my Lunar Cue.

Quadra Org: Your smut-sounding puns do not amuse me.

Merrick: Eight ball, corner pocket!

Quadra Org: GAK!

Danny: Man, I wanna suck Lunar Wolf's co--

Taylor: Try again.

Danny: NEVER GIVE UP!

Taylor: Good boy.
---

Nayzor: They blow 'em up, we make 'em big!

Toxica: Oh my voice of chalkboard meets nail, rescue this fallen Org from hell!

Nayzor: You tried to rhyme "nail" with--

Toxica: Stop right there, or I'll do a battle cry.
---

*soon*

Predazord: Predazord!

Cole: Wow, it's like Dragonzord Battle Mode... WITH A PENIS!

Taylor: Cole, I think that's part of Aliiga-- oh, no, you're right. That is a penis. Heehee!
---

Rangers: Wild Zords, descend.

*the GalactaBeasts come down from the Animarium*

Cole: Not what I had in mind, but... Hey, I have sex with animals! What do I know?
---

*presently*

Wild Force Megazord: What kind of loser says "presently" anymore?

Cole: Okay, guys, let's finish this Org presently!

Wild Force Megazord: I rest my case.
---

WF & Predazord: Gojika!

Fireball: Booya!

Quadra Org: Is that your finisher? Because it's not working.

Cole: I call upon the Power of Soccer!

Quadra Org: Ooh! I love socc-- GAK #1!

Cole: Is there anything we can't fit soccer into?

Merrick: Time to kick it up a knotch! BAM! Garlic Bouken Drill!

Quadra Org: Ooh! I love garl-- GAK#2 *explodes*

Merrick: Is there anything we can't fit garlic into?
---

*immediately following*

Nayzor: Um, run like a bitch!

Merrick: Zazare!

Nayzor: GAK!

Crystals: Freecakes!

Toxica: Oh no! General Nayzor!

Jindrax: So this is the Jeebus goatee's power...
---

*on the beach, well, you know, soon*

Taylor: You look pensive. That probably means you're going to give us our crystals and leave.

Merrick: You're the smart one of the group, I'm assuming.

Cole: But you're one of us now!

Merrick: *cringes* Don't ever say that again!

Cole: But where will you go?

Merrick: Anywhere the wind blows...

Shayla: Anywhere the wind blows...

Merrick: Doesn't really matter... Tooooo meeeee! [/singing]

*Princess Shayla sings "The Bohemian Rhapsody" while Merrick runs off the beach at Ludicrous Speed*

GreenNinja
03-24-2006, 03:08 PM
The cross-Magi references were the best part. And I REALLY hope that this wasn't done on request and that you're telling the truth. Because as you said, requests aren't the way we do things.

RitoRevolto
03-24-2006, 03:32 PM
Why bother fivering WF? For the most part, it fivers itself.

Lunar Wolf Ranger
03-24-2006, 04:11 PM
That was funny ZeoMew2Two. I especially love the Jeebus's goatee parts. Thank you.

Kivat
03-25-2006, 03:37 AM
I loved the Red Uza phone parts:P

'Nayzor: OMG! IT'S GOT MAGITOPIA SPELLS! QUADRA ORG, GET ME THAT PHONE!'

TBF
03-25-2006, 01:58 PM
Funny stuff.

Hou Hissatsu
03-25-2006, 10:19 PM
Fucking. Awesome. It's strange, but I never realized the similarities between Merrick and Isamu....ah well! Still damn funny, though.