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GreenNinja
12-12-2005, 03:04 PM
POWER RANGERS FIVERATIONS
Power Rangers Zeo
Episode 4x50 - "A Season to Remember"
Zordon of the Future: GreenNinja
Special Thanks: The Spirit of Christmas...whatever it is.
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*Church of Oliver 2025*

Tommy: Christmas...back before we were forced to celebrate J'kexna due to aliens integrating themselves on Earth, and when finding a dog beneath your tree on Christmas morning DIDN'T mean that SPD's Commander decided to bum into your house for the evening. But most of the important stuff's still remained.

Kid: What are you rambling on about this time, Grandpa?

Tommy: Who are you again? Anywho, since you're here, want to hear a story about the Christmas that led to the creation of the Space Jews?

Kid: ...sure....

Tommy: It goes like this. Way back in the late 1990's...
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*Way Back in the Late 1990's, When Ohranger was King...*

Raymond: Ernie...NO kids are coming this year, right?

Ernie: Yeah...let's say that and forget about it.

Tommy: *Walks in from behind the curtain with smoke and flashing lights* JEEBUS...has...ARRIVED!

Rocky: *Sigh* Name what you need and I shall do it, my Lord.

Kat: I'M supposed to say that.

Ernie: I need to go "pick up a few things", so don't break out into any petty debates or mass worshipping while I'm gone.

Kat: Shame Billy can't be here.

Adam: Is he even on the show anymore?

Tanya: Who?
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*The Moon (Now Under Machine Empire Rule)*

Mondo: Bah humbug! All this token holiday-ism is grinding my gears!

Klank: Holiday-ism? Oh, god, we're trapped in an Extra-Sappy Christmas Special.

Orbus: So we won't get to kill innocent people today?

Mondo: SHUT UP!

Machina: We could just use their token holiday-ism to turn them into bitching stereotypes who hate each other to the point of causing World War III.

Mondo: Yay for mental violence!
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*Church of Oliver 2025*

Kid: This story isn't making any sense...why was Tommy being treated like a God?

Tommy: That goes back to when I was infused by the souls of children and...

Kid: Souls of...children?

Tommy: Let's just continue with the story.
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*The Detectives' Office*

Skull: Magical Ball of Jeebus, tell me what my future holds. *Shakes*

Bulk: Skull, that's a bowling ba-YEE-OWCH!

Lt. Stone: This is no time for worshipping false deities, boys.

Skull: Fake?

Lt. Stone: I was referring to the Cult of Peckster. Now, we have somebody stealing fruitcakes, and I need you to find them.

Skull: Fruitcakes?

Lt. Stone: It's a Bulk and Skull Subplot, don't question the logic behind it.

Bulk and Skull: Yes, sir!

Bulk: Damn you, Magical Ball of Jeebus!
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*Not the Set of Alpha's Magical Christmas*

Zordon: Alpha, your Christmas gift!

Alpha: *Opens box* Slippers?

Zordon: It's beneath the slippers.

Alpha: GASP! The SOPHIE hasn't even been invented yet...

Zordon: For you, Alpha. Enjoy it.

Alpha: Then in that, case I give you a Christmas gift, as well!

Zordon: *Decked out in Santa gear* Very spiffy. Now let's see if you can find me something to blow my tube. This thing collects dust TOO easily.
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*Youtch Center of Holiday Togetherness*

Raymond: And this is the menorah, which...

Tommy: *Thinking to himself* I'll get Carson for ruining my reputation as Jeebus last year. You shall pay.

Kat: Tommy's got that "revenge" look in his eye again...

Adam: Tanya, what's THAT?

Tanya: I'm celebrating Kwanzaa...

Rocky: What the hell is Kwanzaa?

Tanya: For the three people who celebrate it...

Rocky: I still don't get it.

Adam: ...you know what...I don't either.
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*The Moon of the Machine Empire (Beware Red Flying Bikes)*

Klank: I have invented the Bitchy Stereotypes Blaster for the purpose of this Extra-Sappy Christmas Special.

Mondo: PERFECT! Sprocket, go turn those Rangers into something even more unbearable - bitchy stereotypes!

Sprocket: Got it.
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*Angel Grove*

Bulk: We're given a subplot about fruitcakes?

Skull: That must mean that Aunt Millie is involved somehow.

Bulk: I don't care about your familial relationships! We must...FOOD!

Skull: Now who's complaining about fat guy stereotypes? *Pulls out oversized magnifying glass* Look! A green...thing.

Bulk: A red...thing.

Skull: A white...thing.

Bulk: And a black...thing.

Skull: I think Jeebus may be involved with this somehow.

Bulk: You kidding? Of course he is, it's Christmas.
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*Youth Center of Bitchy Stereotypes*

Sprocket and the Cogs: WHIR-FWOOSH!

Raymond: Metal dudes!

Tommy: We can handle them, we're the...

Kat: SHH!

Adam: We're making it obvious anyway.

Sprocket: Yeah, we're metal dudes! Rock on this!

Bitchy Stereotypes Blaster: ZAP!

Sprocket and the Cogs: WHIR-FWOOSH!

Everyone: WHOA!

Raymond: So, thanks to a generous donation of butter and other dairy products from the Carson family, this year's menorah...

Tommy: YOUR LORD DOES NOT CARE FOR JEWS!

Raymond: ...

Tommy: GO CHOP ME DOWN A CHRISTMAS TREE, JEW BOY! JEEBUS DEMANDS IT!

Raymond: Aren't you the dude who helped Santa? This episode is lame, man...I'm outta here.

Tanya: Episode? Are we in one of them Extra-Sappy Christmas Specials?

Rocky: If this is any indication, we're in an Extra-Bitchy Christmas Special! YAY FOR MENTAL VIOLENCE!

Tanya: What about my Kawanzaa?

Rocky: Since you are one of the three people on Earth who celebrate it...you and your nostrils...

Adam: I DESERVE A HOLIDAY! Come on, give me...Festivus or the Winter Solstice...something.

Tanya: Bitch, please.

*There is much complaining and yelling and bitching. Then everybody leaves. Yay for mental violence!*
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*The Moon of Mondo*

Mondo: We caused everybody to split up by turning them into Bitchy Stereotypes!

Machina: Yay for mental violence!

Sprocket: Do we take over the Earth yet?

Mondo: Maybe...but first, a commerical break for all you parents out there. Buy the stuff in it.
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*Chuch of Oliver 2025*

Kid: Mental violence?

Tommy: It's one of the few kinds of violence you can use on an Extra-Sappy Christmas Special.
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*The Power Christmas Toys Chamber*

Alpha: So it's true...Rangers can only turn evil and bitchy because of a spell...

Zordon: Or for monetary reasons.

Alpha: Is it possible to break the spell?

Zordon: No. We could beat them over the head with a mallet, but that would only increase the bitching. This one will take some Holiday Spirit to solve. That, and some spiked eggnog.

Alpha: On it!
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*Youth Center of Complaining*

Kat: Jeebus aside, I hate all of you.

Rocky: I'm going to take my tamales and get out of here.

Tanya: I'll take you by the tamales!

Adam: GIVE ME A HOLIDAY ALREADY!

Raymond: Hey, Jeebus...it's buttery.

Tommy: You did NOT just say that.
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*Mondo's Moon of Causing Stupid Fighting Over Holidays*

Mondo: And now I shall perform the same task that Grinch Lord Zedd did, except much more contrived and with less effort.

Machina: Shouldn't we be trying to kill them?

Mondo: You do not know how Extra-Sappy Christmas Specials work, my dear.
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*JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!*

Everything: VANISH!

Raymond: It's gone!

Tommy: YOUR LORD DEMANDS TO KNOW WHERE IT WENT!

Tanya: Get it through your thick skull Jeebus - we know it's gone!
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*Somewhere*

Sprocket: I've got their Merchandise! *Sits on Pyramidas* Maybe I shouldn't have done that... *Looks at toy* "Do not stand or sit on Pyramidas"...BANDAI!
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*The Youth Center of Nothing*

Adam: *Flipping through The Big Book of Holidays* That's it, I'm making up my own!

Rocky: Just...get off it, man!

Girl: Excuse me? Aren't you supposed to be the...

Tommy: SHH!

Kat: There will be no party...*looks at Tommy*...unless...

Rocky: We get some stuff?

Girl: Or some Christmas Spirit.

Tanya: This is the "Extra-Sappy" part, right?

Tommy: It's a reverse-brainwashing! She's using it on US! RUN WHILE YOU CAN!

*The girl pulls a COMPLETE reversal from "I'm Dreaming of a White Ranger" and ends up counteracting the Bitchy Stereotypes Blaster*

Everyone: Extra-Sappiness and Holiday Cheer!

Kat: We shall do your bidding, little girl.

Tanya: She managed to brainwash JEEBUS...that's...

Tommy: Nothing new.
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*Machine Empire HQ*

Mondo: My mental violence - RUINED!

Klank: Ah, the Bitchy Stereotype Blaster's rays will probably come down to Earth again by 2025. Until then, we can count this as another one of our hideously failed plans.

Mondo: I hate you all.
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*Angel Grove*

Skull: Green thing, white thing, red thing, black thing....

Bulk: Fa la la la la la la la la!

Giant Fruitcake: Bow down before my Christmas Power, incompetent detectives.

Goldar and Rito: SURPRISE!

Bulk: What did you two do now?

Rito: We were trying to build a Christmas-y Superweapon.

Goldar: We still need to implement the Cheese Log Cannons, though.

Skull: My shoe is a phone, yeah, yeah, yeah! My shoe is a phone...
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*The Very-Quickly Restocked Youth Center*

Ernie: Tanya, why are you acting brainwashed?

Tanya: Cultural diversity...love...obey the children.

Ernie: So...where's the Christmas tree?

Raymond: Got it right here. Buttery, isn't it?

Ernie: You've been spending too long with the Carsons.

Kat: How did we get the money to pay for all of this again?

Tommy: *Staring at Raymond* The next Jew I run into shall know not my mercy.

Rocky: Kawanzaa-bot gave us an informational pamphlet, and I THINK we got this right.

Tanya: What's Kwanzaa again?

Adam: *Whispers to Raymond* Join the Space Jews. Something tells me they'll live longer than you ever will.

Rocky: JEWS IN SPACE!
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*Church of Oliver 2025*

Tommy: And that's how the Space Jews began.

Kid: What was the point of that story again?

Kat: Tommy...what are you doing in my house?

Doorbell: RING!

Kat: The Space Jews again?

Brother: No, it's just me. Here to pick up the pipsqueak.

Communicator: BEEP!

Tommy: WHO CALLS ON YOUR LORD?

Brother: Gotta go! We've got a Troobian outbreak downtown.

Tommy: Who-bians?

Kat: Sure, go ahead.

Brother: CARSON, KEEP THE CAR RUNNING!

Kid: What's with him?

Tommy: ...I have to get going. Need to tell the story to Hayley's grandkids.

Kat: ...HAYLEY?

Tommy: JEEBUS EX MACHINA - FAMILY COUNSELING!

*Tommy uses his godlike powers to give everyone the gift of Family Counseling at Ludicrous Speed*

VengeanceGOD
12-12-2005, 03:46 PM
A few too many Jeebus jokes...but other than that, hilarious. Good job! :023:

nickraman
12-12-2005, 03:59 PM
Agreed, but I loved it

SPACE JEWS!!

GreenNinja
12-12-2005, 04:03 PM
It's Christmas - no better time to unload them in bulk, if you ask me. And I've only posted half the quartet. There's more to come in the days before Christmas Eve.

Spiked
12-12-2005, 05:47 PM
"Yay for mental violence!"

:005:

Anyways, I enjoyed it as well, very well done. Keep up the good work as always. :023:

Hou Hissatsu
12-13-2005, 02:01 AM
:005: :005: :005: :005: Hillarious as ever, GN. Thanks for the laugh. Though, all this mental violence is giving me ideas...