GreenNinja
12-06-2005, 05:37 AM
POWER RANGERS FIVERATIONS
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers
Episode 3x31 - "I'm Dreaming of a White Ranger"
Partying for Jeebus: GreenNinja
Special Thanks: The magical elves
--------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator: It's a Fiver for Christmas, and you know what that means
Merchandising and Jeebus
(And some snark on John Green)
The Spinny Top of Doom,
Santa Battlizer, all shall appear
You cannot resist reading
For you're already here
Today on the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers!
--------------------------------------------------------------
*The Youth Center*
Kim: Yes, my children, keep singing. Zordon requires more sacrifices.
*Enter the guys*
Tommy: It's Christmas, and you know what that means!
Billy: We worship...Jesus?
Tommy: That wannabe? I'm talking about ME!
Rocky: Name what you need and I shall do it, my Lord.
Tommy: ...who are you again? I don't think I invited you.
Adam: Great brainwashing, Kim and Aisha. Children's souls are what keep our leader running.
Tommy: That, and...*winks at Kim*
Kim: Name what you need and I shall do it, my Lord.
Ernie: This star...it shall go atop the tree.
Tommy: *Eyes star* Something about that symbol...I just can't take my eyes off it. Later.
*Tommy walks over to a little girl*
Tommy: Listen, I'll let you put the star on top of the tree. Why? Because Jeebus said so. Now do as Jeebus commands!
*The star is put on top of the tree and suddenly lights up*
Girl: Is...is that the spirit of Christmas?
Nova: Whoops - wrong time.
*The star goes dim.*
Aisha: Kim...are you feeling okay?
Kim: It's just the whole...pink thing. Tommy's acting weirder and weirder around me every day. I tried to wear something not pink yesterday, and he lost it.
Aisha: Are you SURE Zordon wasn't watching you when he "lost it"?
Kim: What?
Aisha: Never mind.
*Enter Bulk and Skull*
Bulk: Why am I dressing up as Santa Claus?
Skull: Because you're the fat guy.
Bulk: If all it takes to be Santa Claus is to be a fat guy, then why not Ernie?
Skull: Whisperwhisperwhisper
Bulk: Oh, right...that.
*Kim is setting up the mistletoe*
Tommy: Shall we do it under the mistletoe?
Kim: ...she's right, you HAVE lost it.
*Skull walks over and kisses Tommy*
Tommy: That's it, that's the LAST time I tell people that I can do godlike miracles...like save this show. BEGONE WITH YOU!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Zedd and Rita's Castle of Incredibly Ridiculous Evil Schemes*
Zedd: And the more Lord Zedd thought of this whole Jeebus zing
The more Lord Zedd thought "I must stop this whole thing!"
For 53 episodes I've put up with it now!
I must stop this Extra-Sappy Christmas Special from airing...but how?
Rita: Have the kids' parents go insane by trying to buy every last White Ranger figure before they go out of stock?
Zedd: No! I'm going to give them some real toys!
*A Furby materializes in Zedd's hand*
Zedd: Not QUITE the brainwashing device I was thinking of.
*Takes the Spinny Top of Doom out of his pocket...er, wherever he keeps it*
Rito: FURBY! How cute...thanks, Ed.
Zedd: Go enslave Santa Claus, numbskull! This year, the man in red won't be just some nimrod do-gooder! No, he'll be evil!
Rito: So I'm going to capture Rocky or Santa? Because from your description...
Zedd: SANTA!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Deck the Youth Center with Boughs of Tommy, Fa La La La La La La La La*
Aisha: In order to be politically correct, and so the Carsons don't think we forgot them, we shall now lead you in the brainwashing appropriate for the Hanukkah Zombie. Begin!
*More singing/brainwashing*
Kim: Becky, you resisted the brainwashing.
Becky: Or I'm just not into the whole merchandising of the holiday. I mean, c'mon, Kim...your boyfriend is already giving away free figures of himself to desperate parents in the hallway.
Tommy: *From a distance* GET YOUR WHITE RANGER FIGURES NOW! Your kids will hate you if you don't!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The North Pole - Like Munchkinland, but even more annoying*
Santa: How's it going, Number One?
Numero Uno: A shipment of White Ranger figures mysteriously vanished. Along with Sabas, Tigerzords...
Santa: It's just Jeebus whoring himself out again. Don't mind it.
#1: Jesus?
Santa: That wannabe? No, I'm talking about...
Rito: Tommy "Jeebus H. Christ" Oliver...SHUT UP about the guy already!
Santa: What's Gasha Skull doing in my workshop?
Rito: On behalf of me, my sister Rita, my overlord Zedd, and my kid brother Gruumm, I am here to say...please produce these Spinny Tops of Doom to market to easily impressionable children.
Santa: Well, it can't be any worse than the Furby Craze.
Rito: FURBIES! Can I have one?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Youth Center of the Holiday Spirit of Christmas*
Kim: Becky, if you participate in the choir, I can give you a White Ranger figure.
Becky: That's not the problem. Dad blah blah blah work blah blah blah...
Kim: Yeah. I'm sure he'll arrive by the means of Holiday Contrivance. That's always what happens in these Extra-Sappy Christmas Specials.
*Return to the Main Lobby*
Tommy: We're under the mistletoe again....hee.
Kim: There are CHILDREN watching.
Tommy: Your Lord says...
Communicator: BEEP.
Zordon: Report to the Command Center immediately. And Jeebus, if you and Kimberly wish to do what you were planning on, here is the place. I've seen much worse from you and your teammates.
Tommy: I'm not gonna ask.
The Magical Sparkling (Holiday) Light of Teleportation: FWOOSH!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Command Center of Christmas*
Tommy: What now?
Zordon: Rito Revolto has taken over the North Pole, kidnapped Santa, and is mass-producing Lord Zedd's evil toy.
Adam: What Plot-O-Matic game of Mad Libs wrote THAT storyline?
Tommy: What kind of toy?
Zordon: It is unlike anything you've seen before. It will brainwash children into thinking that Haim Saban is their master.
Rocky: Is it a Furby?
Zordon: Now, since this is an Extra-Sappy Christmas Special, and since we're adapting Kakuranger all wild-like, AND we're trying to demonstrate non-violence while kicking much monster arse, you will not be able to morph during a Holiday Special. EVER.
Teleportation: FWOOSH!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The North Pole*
Tommy: It's quiet here...too quiet.
Billy: We're at the North-Freakin'-Pole! Who'd you think would be up here?
*Tommy peeks in the door and is floored by what he sees*
Rito: Got any Silly Putty? Tinker Toys? LEGOS? I demand to be entertained!
Tommy: It's just like Zordon said...and worse.
Billy: We can't just attack. I mean, Santa Claus is more powerful than any of us...
Tommy: AHEM.
Billy: ...except Jeebus, will ever be.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Zedd and Rita's Moon Palace of Holiday Grinchiness*
Zedd: Goldar?
Goldar: Yes?
Zedd: Since Rito is doing terrible, I figure that if I send you down, your combined incompetence is sure to produce me some results, right? ...RIGHT?
Goldar: Do they have Hot Wheels?
Zedd: YES! GO!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Youth Center*
Becky: Excuse me, have you seen Kimberly?
Skull: Kimberly?
Bulk: The one who always dresses in pink and mysteriously vanishes whenver a monster attacks? No, I have no clue where she could've gone.
Becky: Whatdya say about her?
Skull: Listen, we'll go talk to "Santa" about this and see what he thinks, okay?
Bulk: I think Kim's hot...not that I am Santa or anything.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The North Pole*
Tommy: Here's the plan - we'll need some eggnog, a Santa outfit, and three rolls of duct tape. If that doesn't work, I just deus ex machina everything, clear?
Others: Aww, man!
Kim: *Motions*
Number One: *Motions back*
Kim: We came to save you.
#One: Don't worry - Santa has a secret stash of holiday-related weaponry...
Kim: Which isn't available in stores. Whisperwhisperwhisper.
Aisha: What does "whisperwhisperwhisper" mean?
Kim: *Whispers*
Rito: I didn't get the Magic Staff I wanted for Christmas when I was a kid! I deserve to have evil weaponry beyond a SWORD! All the COOL bad guys have staffs!
*Kim and Aisha walk out dressed in skimpy Santa outfits*
Kim: Hey, Rito...
Rito: ...
Aisha: Follow us.
Rito: Go, my mindless drones, and continue the merchandising of the season! I, however, shall follow these little holly wreaths here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Outside Santa's Workshop*
Rito: It's about time I landed someone like Jeebus has! Where's my present?
Tommy: We're right here.
Aisha: COLD...COLD...
Tommy: That's the next phase of my plan. Good work.
Goldar: I'm here for my beating!
Rito: Zaaapp... WHAT?
Billy: North Pole Rule #56 - No violence unless it's in the toyline the elves are producing.
*Rito and Goldar run back IN the workshop*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Santa's Workshop*
*After tripping on a ribbon and slipping on marbles Santa busts out his own method*
Santa: SUPER JINGLE BELL POWER! SANTA BATTLIZER! SANTA CLAWS!
Rito and Goldar: ...OUCH.
*The Santa Battlizer has the effect of tying them in effective holiday wrapping*
Tommy: Minor Christmas Crisis averted.
Alpha: I'm sending them back to the Grinch's Lair.
Rito, Goldar and Tengas: FWOOSH!
Number One: What are we going to do? You threw us off schedule! And took some of our stock before this! It'll take a miracle.
Santa: Or we could just use the symbol of Christmas merchandising himself - Jeebus.
Tommy: I believe Peckster and I have a plan for this.
Peckster: Ready!
Tommy and Peckster: DEUS EX MACHINA! MUSICAL!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Grinch's Lair*
Zedd: Let me gues this straight - in an Extra-Sappy Christmas Special Where No Violence is Allowed - you STILL can't win?
Rita: And what happened then?
Well...in FOX Kids they say
Lord Zeddy's small part
Shrunk three sizes that day!
Zedd: I REFUSE TO BE THROWN OUT NEXT SEASON!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The North Pole*
Tommy and Peckster: *Presiding over the gift wrapping all holy-like* Gone away is the problem
Deus ex machina; it has solved 'em.
Keep on moving about
As I shill myself out
Walking in a Christmas song montage
Santa: Christmas is saved...for the five millionth time. How incompetent must I be if every year Christmas has to be SAVED?
Billy: What are you going to do with Zedd's Spinny Tops of Doom?
Santa: They'll be used to make the brainwashing chips in next year's supply of Tickle Me Elmos. Now, be sure to take that magical bag with Whatever the Hell Gifts You Need in It back with you. HO HO HO!
Tommy: ...AND?
Everyone: Aww, man!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Grinch-Zedd's Lair*
Rita: He gave us back our own toys?
Zedd: Although I will say the description of the Tengas as "Evil Space Aliens" is surprisingly accurate.
Rito: Goldar, since I'm notoriously simple-minded, I gave you this Christmas gift. Had to get Gruumm to rush out to the Helix Nebula and buy it for me - almost out of stock.
Goldar: A Memory Eraser-Thingy?
Zedd: The prospects of me becoming a major character next season are looking surprisngly low.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Youth Center*
Bulk: See ya, little girl.
Skull: Isn't this great? You, being a fat guy, are cast in one of the best roles a fat guy can get.
Bulk: Oh GOD...look at that kid's list.
A Young John Green: I'd like every piece of Power Rangers Merchandise along with the release dates, pictures and product numbers for each of them. Now, this is VERY important to me...
Tommy: WHITE RANGER FIGURES! GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE STILL AVAILABLE!
*The kids rush to their toys*
Becky: KIM! Why are you wearing pink, and where did you mysteriously vanish to?
Kim: ...Trini's Grandmother's house?
Tommy: JEEBUS EX MACHINA - HOLIDAY PROBLEM RESOLUTION!
Becky's Dad: *POOF!* What am I doing here?
Becky: DAD!
Becky's Dad: Oh, yes, my daughter. Now I remember why the Holiday Spirit called me here.
Becky: I'll be right back. I just need to say one thing...thanks, Santa.
Bulk: That wasn't me. That was Jeebus and Holiday Contrivance over there.
Becky: ...right.
Tommy: So, Kim, we're finally under the mistletoe. Let's do it.
Kim: But back in the Command Center...
*Holiday Smooch - look away if you can't stand the sweetness*
Kim's Mom: *POOF!* What am I doing here?
Kim: MOM!
Tommy: Uh...Kim...your mom's wearing pink. Hold me back now before this gets worse.
*The final brainwashing/song. Everyone gathers on stage*
Tommy: From Jeebus and his worthless peons to you easily-influenced kids out there...
Everyone: BUY OUR TOYS!
*The Santa Battlizer launches to the Moon Palace to kicketh much monster arse, what with the Extra-Sappy Christmas Special being over and all, at Ludicrous Speed*
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers
Episode 3x31 - "I'm Dreaming of a White Ranger"
Partying for Jeebus: GreenNinja
Special Thanks: The magical elves
--------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator: It's a Fiver for Christmas, and you know what that means
Merchandising and Jeebus
(And some snark on John Green)
The Spinny Top of Doom,
Santa Battlizer, all shall appear
You cannot resist reading
For you're already here
Today on the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers!
--------------------------------------------------------------
*The Youth Center*
Kim: Yes, my children, keep singing. Zordon requires more sacrifices.
*Enter the guys*
Tommy: It's Christmas, and you know what that means!
Billy: We worship...Jesus?
Tommy: That wannabe? I'm talking about ME!
Rocky: Name what you need and I shall do it, my Lord.
Tommy: ...who are you again? I don't think I invited you.
Adam: Great brainwashing, Kim and Aisha. Children's souls are what keep our leader running.
Tommy: That, and...*winks at Kim*
Kim: Name what you need and I shall do it, my Lord.
Ernie: This star...it shall go atop the tree.
Tommy: *Eyes star* Something about that symbol...I just can't take my eyes off it. Later.
*Tommy walks over to a little girl*
Tommy: Listen, I'll let you put the star on top of the tree. Why? Because Jeebus said so. Now do as Jeebus commands!
*The star is put on top of the tree and suddenly lights up*
Girl: Is...is that the spirit of Christmas?
Nova: Whoops - wrong time.
*The star goes dim.*
Aisha: Kim...are you feeling okay?
Kim: It's just the whole...pink thing. Tommy's acting weirder and weirder around me every day. I tried to wear something not pink yesterday, and he lost it.
Aisha: Are you SURE Zordon wasn't watching you when he "lost it"?
Kim: What?
Aisha: Never mind.
*Enter Bulk and Skull*
Bulk: Why am I dressing up as Santa Claus?
Skull: Because you're the fat guy.
Bulk: If all it takes to be Santa Claus is to be a fat guy, then why not Ernie?
Skull: Whisperwhisperwhisper
Bulk: Oh, right...that.
*Kim is setting up the mistletoe*
Tommy: Shall we do it under the mistletoe?
Kim: ...she's right, you HAVE lost it.
*Skull walks over and kisses Tommy*
Tommy: That's it, that's the LAST time I tell people that I can do godlike miracles...like save this show. BEGONE WITH YOU!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Zedd and Rita's Castle of Incredibly Ridiculous Evil Schemes*
Zedd: And the more Lord Zedd thought of this whole Jeebus zing
The more Lord Zedd thought "I must stop this whole thing!"
For 53 episodes I've put up with it now!
I must stop this Extra-Sappy Christmas Special from airing...but how?
Rita: Have the kids' parents go insane by trying to buy every last White Ranger figure before they go out of stock?
Zedd: No! I'm going to give them some real toys!
*A Furby materializes in Zedd's hand*
Zedd: Not QUITE the brainwashing device I was thinking of.
*Takes the Spinny Top of Doom out of his pocket...er, wherever he keeps it*
Rito: FURBY! How cute...thanks, Ed.
Zedd: Go enslave Santa Claus, numbskull! This year, the man in red won't be just some nimrod do-gooder! No, he'll be evil!
Rito: So I'm going to capture Rocky or Santa? Because from your description...
Zedd: SANTA!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Deck the Youth Center with Boughs of Tommy, Fa La La La La La La La La*
Aisha: In order to be politically correct, and so the Carsons don't think we forgot them, we shall now lead you in the brainwashing appropriate for the Hanukkah Zombie. Begin!
*More singing/brainwashing*
Kim: Becky, you resisted the brainwashing.
Becky: Or I'm just not into the whole merchandising of the holiday. I mean, c'mon, Kim...your boyfriend is already giving away free figures of himself to desperate parents in the hallway.
Tommy: *From a distance* GET YOUR WHITE RANGER FIGURES NOW! Your kids will hate you if you don't!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The North Pole - Like Munchkinland, but even more annoying*
Santa: How's it going, Number One?
Numero Uno: A shipment of White Ranger figures mysteriously vanished. Along with Sabas, Tigerzords...
Santa: It's just Jeebus whoring himself out again. Don't mind it.
#1: Jesus?
Santa: That wannabe? No, I'm talking about...
Rito: Tommy "Jeebus H. Christ" Oliver...SHUT UP about the guy already!
Santa: What's Gasha Skull doing in my workshop?
Rito: On behalf of me, my sister Rita, my overlord Zedd, and my kid brother Gruumm, I am here to say...please produce these Spinny Tops of Doom to market to easily impressionable children.
Santa: Well, it can't be any worse than the Furby Craze.
Rito: FURBIES! Can I have one?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Youth Center of the Holiday Spirit of Christmas*
Kim: Becky, if you participate in the choir, I can give you a White Ranger figure.
Becky: That's not the problem. Dad blah blah blah work blah blah blah...
Kim: Yeah. I'm sure he'll arrive by the means of Holiday Contrivance. That's always what happens in these Extra-Sappy Christmas Specials.
*Return to the Main Lobby*
Tommy: We're under the mistletoe again....hee.
Kim: There are CHILDREN watching.
Tommy: Your Lord says...
Communicator: BEEP.
Zordon: Report to the Command Center immediately. And Jeebus, if you and Kimberly wish to do what you were planning on, here is the place. I've seen much worse from you and your teammates.
Tommy: I'm not gonna ask.
The Magical Sparkling (Holiday) Light of Teleportation: FWOOSH!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Command Center of Christmas*
Tommy: What now?
Zordon: Rito Revolto has taken over the North Pole, kidnapped Santa, and is mass-producing Lord Zedd's evil toy.
Adam: What Plot-O-Matic game of Mad Libs wrote THAT storyline?
Tommy: What kind of toy?
Zordon: It is unlike anything you've seen before. It will brainwash children into thinking that Haim Saban is their master.
Rocky: Is it a Furby?
Zordon: Now, since this is an Extra-Sappy Christmas Special, and since we're adapting Kakuranger all wild-like, AND we're trying to demonstrate non-violence while kicking much monster arse, you will not be able to morph during a Holiday Special. EVER.
Teleportation: FWOOSH!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The North Pole*
Tommy: It's quiet here...too quiet.
Billy: We're at the North-Freakin'-Pole! Who'd you think would be up here?
*Tommy peeks in the door and is floored by what he sees*
Rito: Got any Silly Putty? Tinker Toys? LEGOS? I demand to be entertained!
Tommy: It's just like Zordon said...and worse.
Billy: We can't just attack. I mean, Santa Claus is more powerful than any of us...
Tommy: AHEM.
Billy: ...except Jeebus, will ever be.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Zedd and Rita's Moon Palace of Holiday Grinchiness*
Zedd: Goldar?
Goldar: Yes?
Zedd: Since Rito is doing terrible, I figure that if I send you down, your combined incompetence is sure to produce me some results, right? ...RIGHT?
Goldar: Do they have Hot Wheels?
Zedd: YES! GO!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Youth Center*
Becky: Excuse me, have you seen Kimberly?
Skull: Kimberly?
Bulk: The one who always dresses in pink and mysteriously vanishes whenver a monster attacks? No, I have no clue where she could've gone.
Becky: Whatdya say about her?
Skull: Listen, we'll go talk to "Santa" about this and see what he thinks, okay?
Bulk: I think Kim's hot...not that I am Santa or anything.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The North Pole*
Tommy: Here's the plan - we'll need some eggnog, a Santa outfit, and three rolls of duct tape. If that doesn't work, I just deus ex machina everything, clear?
Others: Aww, man!
Kim: *Motions*
Number One: *Motions back*
Kim: We came to save you.
#One: Don't worry - Santa has a secret stash of holiday-related weaponry...
Kim: Which isn't available in stores. Whisperwhisperwhisper.
Aisha: What does "whisperwhisperwhisper" mean?
Kim: *Whispers*
Rito: I didn't get the Magic Staff I wanted for Christmas when I was a kid! I deserve to have evil weaponry beyond a SWORD! All the COOL bad guys have staffs!
*Kim and Aisha walk out dressed in skimpy Santa outfits*
Kim: Hey, Rito...
Rito: ...
Aisha: Follow us.
Rito: Go, my mindless drones, and continue the merchandising of the season! I, however, shall follow these little holly wreaths here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Outside Santa's Workshop*
Rito: It's about time I landed someone like Jeebus has! Where's my present?
Tommy: We're right here.
Aisha: COLD...COLD...
Tommy: That's the next phase of my plan. Good work.
Goldar: I'm here for my beating!
Rito: Zaaapp... WHAT?
Billy: North Pole Rule #56 - No violence unless it's in the toyline the elves are producing.
*Rito and Goldar run back IN the workshop*
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Santa's Workshop*
*After tripping on a ribbon and slipping on marbles Santa busts out his own method*
Santa: SUPER JINGLE BELL POWER! SANTA BATTLIZER! SANTA CLAWS!
Rito and Goldar: ...OUCH.
*The Santa Battlizer has the effect of tying them in effective holiday wrapping*
Tommy: Minor Christmas Crisis averted.
Alpha: I'm sending them back to the Grinch's Lair.
Rito, Goldar and Tengas: FWOOSH!
Number One: What are we going to do? You threw us off schedule! And took some of our stock before this! It'll take a miracle.
Santa: Or we could just use the symbol of Christmas merchandising himself - Jeebus.
Tommy: I believe Peckster and I have a plan for this.
Peckster: Ready!
Tommy and Peckster: DEUS EX MACHINA! MUSICAL!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Grinch's Lair*
Zedd: Let me gues this straight - in an Extra-Sappy Christmas Special Where No Violence is Allowed - you STILL can't win?
Rita: And what happened then?
Well...in FOX Kids they say
Lord Zeddy's small part
Shrunk three sizes that day!
Zedd: I REFUSE TO BE THROWN OUT NEXT SEASON!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The North Pole*
Tommy and Peckster: *Presiding over the gift wrapping all holy-like* Gone away is the problem
Deus ex machina; it has solved 'em.
Keep on moving about
As I shill myself out
Walking in a Christmas song montage
Santa: Christmas is saved...for the five millionth time. How incompetent must I be if every year Christmas has to be SAVED?
Billy: What are you going to do with Zedd's Spinny Tops of Doom?
Santa: They'll be used to make the brainwashing chips in next year's supply of Tickle Me Elmos. Now, be sure to take that magical bag with Whatever the Hell Gifts You Need in It back with you. HO HO HO!
Tommy: ...AND?
Everyone: Aww, man!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Grinch-Zedd's Lair*
Rita: He gave us back our own toys?
Zedd: Although I will say the description of the Tengas as "Evil Space Aliens" is surprisingly accurate.
Rito: Goldar, since I'm notoriously simple-minded, I gave you this Christmas gift. Had to get Gruumm to rush out to the Helix Nebula and buy it for me - almost out of stock.
Goldar: A Memory Eraser-Thingy?
Zedd: The prospects of me becoming a major character next season are looking surprisngly low.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*The Youth Center*
Bulk: See ya, little girl.
Skull: Isn't this great? You, being a fat guy, are cast in one of the best roles a fat guy can get.
Bulk: Oh GOD...look at that kid's list.
A Young John Green: I'd like every piece of Power Rangers Merchandise along with the release dates, pictures and product numbers for each of them. Now, this is VERY important to me...
Tommy: WHITE RANGER FIGURES! GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE STILL AVAILABLE!
*The kids rush to their toys*
Becky: KIM! Why are you wearing pink, and where did you mysteriously vanish to?
Kim: ...Trini's Grandmother's house?
Tommy: JEEBUS EX MACHINA - HOLIDAY PROBLEM RESOLUTION!
Becky's Dad: *POOF!* What am I doing here?
Becky: DAD!
Becky's Dad: Oh, yes, my daughter. Now I remember why the Holiday Spirit called me here.
Becky: I'll be right back. I just need to say one thing...thanks, Santa.
Bulk: That wasn't me. That was Jeebus and Holiday Contrivance over there.
Becky: ...right.
Tommy: So, Kim, we're finally under the mistletoe. Let's do it.
Kim: But back in the Command Center...
*Holiday Smooch - look away if you can't stand the sweetness*
Kim's Mom: *POOF!* What am I doing here?
Kim: MOM!
Tommy: Uh...Kim...your mom's wearing pink. Hold me back now before this gets worse.
*The final brainwashing/song. Everyone gathers on stage*
Tommy: From Jeebus and his worthless peons to you easily-influenced kids out there...
Everyone: BUY OUR TOYS!
*The Santa Battlizer launches to the Moon Palace to kicketh much monster arse, what with the Extra-Sappy Christmas Special being over and all, at Ludicrous Speed*