GreenNinja
12-01-2005, 06:33 PM
How the Gruumm Stole Christmas
A Parody by GreenNinja
All the Rangers in New Tech loved Christmas a lot
But the Gruumm, who lived just outside of orbit of New Tech, did NOT!
The Gruumm hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
We need not explain why. It’s an obvious reason.
It could be the fact that he'd constantly failed.
It could be the fact his horn’d been assailed.
But I think the most likely reason of all
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason,
His losses or his horn
His orbited the Earth from the night to the morn,
Sending down Krybots both Orangehead and Blue
And criminals hired
But they didn’t do.
“That stupid Doggie Cruger!” he snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled with his Gruumm fingers nervously drumming
“I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”
For,
Tomorrow, he knew
The SPD catgirls, dogs, girls and boys
Would wake bright and early. They’d shill out their toys.
And then! Oh the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one of many things he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the cadets, young and old, would call for their Zords.
And they’d fight! And they’d fight!
And they’d FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
They’d fight giant robots and Broodwing’s great beasts.
Which was something the Gruumm couldn’t stand in the least.
And THEN
They’d do something
He liked least of all!
Every SPD down in New Tech, the black and the Jew,
Would stand close together, and with Christmas bells ringing
They’d call for Ron Wasserman, and Wasserman would start singing!
He’d sing! And he’d sing!
And he’d SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Gruumm thought of this Wasserman-sing
The more the Gruumm thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”
“Why for 38 episodes I’ve put up with it now!
“I must stop this Christmas from coming!
…But HOW?”
Then he got an idea!
A stupid idea!
THE GRUUMM
GOT A WONDERFULLY STUPID IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Gruumm laughed in his throat
And he had Mora draw him a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great brilliant trick!
“With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”
“All I need is a reindeer…”
The Gruumm looked around,
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Gruumm?
No! The Gruumm simply said,
“If I can’t find a reindeer, then I’ll make one instead!”
So he called Isinia Cruger. Then he took his staff, glowing red
And he zapped a big horn on the top of her head.
THEN
He loaded some Krybots
His staff and his throne went in
On a ramshackle shuttlecraft
Piloted by the Sirian
Then the Gruumm said, “Blast off!”
And the shuttle started down
Towards the empty buildings where the New Tech citizens
Somehow lay a-snooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
Bridge Carson was dreaming psychic dreams without care
When he came to the Delta Command Base in the center of the square.
“This is stop number one,” the old Gruummy Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
He couldn’t find the chimney. So he went with a vent.
But to the Command Center, nonetheless, the Gruumm went.
It took him a struggle to get out of there.
Then he landed in Commander Anubis Cruger’s chair
Color-coded stockings all hung in a row.
“These stockings,” he shouted, “are the first things to go!”
He laughed an evil laugh while he did his zappin’,
And from the Command Center he took every weapon!
Morphers! And Cycles! Cyber-Arms! RIC!
Megazords! Quantum Enhancers! That Deltamax Striker stick!
And he zapped them with his staff. Then the Gruumm made his ascension
And confirmed with Mora the gifts were in another dimension!
Then he slunk to the Zord bay! He took the Rangers’ fleet!
He took the Omegamax Cycle! He took the SWAT’s feet!
The Zord bay went empty as the air went muggy.
Why, that Gruumm, he even took the Blast Buggy!
Then he zapped all the Zords up to his ship with glee.
“And NOW!” roared the Gruumm, “I will zap up the tree!”
And the Gruumm took the tree, and he prepared to blast
When he heard the sound of someone rushing by very fast.
He turned around quickly and he saw someone. WHO?
It was Sydney Drew, who was no more than 22.
The Gruumm had been caught by this SPD cadet
(And to him, it was his best capture yet!)
Syd stared at the Gruumm and said, “Santa Claus? Who?
“Why are you so…bony? Is that really you?”
But, you know, that Gruumm was so stunned by her beauty
He thought up a quick lie (though he wanted some booty).
“Uh, yeah, I’m Santa,” the Gruumm blatantly lied.
“There’s a light on this tree that’s gone to the dark side.
“So I’m gonna make it become…uh…right,
“And when I come back, heck yeah, you’ll have your light.”
And his alibi fooled the tired Syd. Then he stared a bit more
And he forcefully shoved her back through the sliding door.
And when Sydney Drew was safe in her room,
HE prepared for his plans of Christmasy doom!
Then the last thing he took
Was an SPD toaster!
Then he went zapped up to his ship, himself, the old boaster.
On their walls he left nothing but a Sydney Drew poster.
And the one cycle
That he left in the base
Was a cycle not yet taken out of the case.
Then
He did the same thing
To the rest of New Tech.
But the rest of his loot
Wasn’t as good;
He checked.
It was quarter past dawn…
All the Rangers, still a-bed,
All the Rangers, still a-snooze,
When he celebrated his trap,
Packed his ship with their cycles! Their SWAT Truck! Their Battlizer!
Delta Blasters! Shadow Saber! Omega Morpher! A hitchhiking Alienizer!
Three hundred thousand feet out! Near the face of the sun!
He rode with his loot to burn it – for fun!
“I win! I win!” he was Gruummishly gloating.
“Oh how I do love the way this is going!
“They’re just waking up! They’ll see that I’ve won!
“Cruger will growl angrily
“And then I’ll let them know – ‘Hah! It is done!’
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Gruumm,
“That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused. And the Gruumm put his hand to the place where, had he had skin, would’ve been an ear.
And he did hear a sound over the depths of space.
It seemed to be coming from that New Tech place…
But the sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He set coordinates for New Tech!
The Gruumm’s sockets would’ve popped had they had eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Ranger down in New Tech, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming!
It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Gruumm, with his Gruumm-feet ice cold like the snow
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
“It came without Battlizers! It came without toys!
“It came without armor-ups, transformations or noise!
And he puzzled 28 episodes until his puzzler was sore.
Then the Gruumm thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then…?
Well…in New Tech they say
That the Gruumm’s small brain
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his brain didn’t feel quite so tight,
He raced with his ship down to Earth’s given light
And he brought back the toys! And the Zords for the fights!
And he…
…HE HIMSELF…!
The Gruumm was charged guilty on the accounts of stealing Christmas, holding Isinia Cruger hostage, and deceiving an SPD cadet, and as such was confined into a Containment Card, which is where he now spends the rest of his nights.
A Parody by GreenNinja
All the Rangers in New Tech loved Christmas a lot
But the Gruumm, who lived just outside of orbit of New Tech, did NOT!
The Gruumm hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
We need not explain why. It’s an obvious reason.
It could be the fact that he'd constantly failed.
It could be the fact his horn’d been assailed.
But I think the most likely reason of all
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason,
His losses or his horn
His orbited the Earth from the night to the morn,
Sending down Krybots both Orangehead and Blue
And criminals hired
But they didn’t do.
“That stupid Doggie Cruger!” he snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled with his Gruumm fingers nervously drumming
“I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”
For,
Tomorrow, he knew
The SPD catgirls, dogs, girls and boys
Would wake bright and early. They’d shill out their toys.
And then! Oh the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one of many things he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the cadets, young and old, would call for their Zords.
And they’d fight! And they’d fight!
And they’d FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
They’d fight giant robots and Broodwing’s great beasts.
Which was something the Gruumm couldn’t stand in the least.
And THEN
They’d do something
He liked least of all!
Every SPD down in New Tech, the black and the Jew,
Would stand close together, and with Christmas bells ringing
They’d call for Ron Wasserman, and Wasserman would start singing!
He’d sing! And he’d sing!
And he’d SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Gruumm thought of this Wasserman-sing
The more the Gruumm thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”
“Why for 38 episodes I’ve put up with it now!
“I must stop this Christmas from coming!
…But HOW?”
Then he got an idea!
A stupid idea!
THE GRUUMM
GOT A WONDERFULLY STUPID IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Gruumm laughed in his throat
And he had Mora draw him a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great brilliant trick!
“With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”
“All I need is a reindeer…”
The Gruumm looked around,
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Gruumm?
No! The Gruumm simply said,
“If I can’t find a reindeer, then I’ll make one instead!”
So he called Isinia Cruger. Then he took his staff, glowing red
And he zapped a big horn on the top of her head.
THEN
He loaded some Krybots
His staff and his throne went in
On a ramshackle shuttlecraft
Piloted by the Sirian
Then the Gruumm said, “Blast off!”
And the shuttle started down
Towards the empty buildings where the New Tech citizens
Somehow lay a-snooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
Bridge Carson was dreaming psychic dreams without care
When he came to the Delta Command Base in the center of the square.
“This is stop number one,” the old Gruummy Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
He couldn’t find the chimney. So he went with a vent.
But to the Command Center, nonetheless, the Gruumm went.
It took him a struggle to get out of there.
Then he landed in Commander Anubis Cruger’s chair
Color-coded stockings all hung in a row.
“These stockings,” he shouted, “are the first things to go!”
He laughed an evil laugh while he did his zappin’,
And from the Command Center he took every weapon!
Morphers! And Cycles! Cyber-Arms! RIC!
Megazords! Quantum Enhancers! That Deltamax Striker stick!
And he zapped them with his staff. Then the Gruumm made his ascension
And confirmed with Mora the gifts were in another dimension!
Then he slunk to the Zord bay! He took the Rangers’ fleet!
He took the Omegamax Cycle! He took the SWAT’s feet!
The Zord bay went empty as the air went muggy.
Why, that Gruumm, he even took the Blast Buggy!
Then he zapped all the Zords up to his ship with glee.
“And NOW!” roared the Gruumm, “I will zap up the tree!”
And the Gruumm took the tree, and he prepared to blast
When he heard the sound of someone rushing by very fast.
He turned around quickly and he saw someone. WHO?
It was Sydney Drew, who was no more than 22.
The Gruumm had been caught by this SPD cadet
(And to him, it was his best capture yet!)
Syd stared at the Gruumm and said, “Santa Claus? Who?
“Why are you so…bony? Is that really you?”
But, you know, that Gruumm was so stunned by her beauty
He thought up a quick lie (though he wanted some booty).
“Uh, yeah, I’m Santa,” the Gruumm blatantly lied.
“There’s a light on this tree that’s gone to the dark side.
“So I’m gonna make it become…uh…right,
“And when I come back, heck yeah, you’ll have your light.”
And his alibi fooled the tired Syd. Then he stared a bit more
And he forcefully shoved her back through the sliding door.
And when Sydney Drew was safe in her room,
HE prepared for his plans of Christmasy doom!
Then the last thing he took
Was an SPD toaster!
Then he went zapped up to his ship, himself, the old boaster.
On their walls he left nothing but a Sydney Drew poster.
And the one cycle
That he left in the base
Was a cycle not yet taken out of the case.
Then
He did the same thing
To the rest of New Tech.
But the rest of his loot
Wasn’t as good;
He checked.
It was quarter past dawn…
All the Rangers, still a-bed,
All the Rangers, still a-snooze,
When he celebrated his trap,
Packed his ship with their cycles! Their SWAT Truck! Their Battlizer!
Delta Blasters! Shadow Saber! Omega Morpher! A hitchhiking Alienizer!
Three hundred thousand feet out! Near the face of the sun!
He rode with his loot to burn it – for fun!
“I win! I win!” he was Gruummishly gloating.
“Oh how I do love the way this is going!
“They’re just waking up! They’ll see that I’ve won!
“Cruger will growl angrily
“And then I’ll let them know – ‘Hah! It is done!’
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Gruumm,
“That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused. And the Gruumm put his hand to the place where, had he had skin, would’ve been an ear.
And he did hear a sound over the depths of space.
It seemed to be coming from that New Tech place…
But the sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He set coordinates for New Tech!
The Gruumm’s sockets would’ve popped had they had eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Ranger down in New Tech, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming!
It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Gruumm, with his Gruumm-feet ice cold like the snow
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
“It came without Battlizers! It came without toys!
“It came without armor-ups, transformations or noise!
And he puzzled 28 episodes until his puzzler was sore.
Then the Gruumm thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then…?
Well…in New Tech they say
That the Gruumm’s small brain
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his brain didn’t feel quite so tight,
He raced with his ship down to Earth’s given light
And he brought back the toys! And the Zords for the fights!
And he…
…HE HIMSELF…!
The Gruumm was charged guilty on the accounts of stealing Christmas, holding Isinia Cruger hostage, and deceiving an SPD cadet, and as such was confined into a Containment Card, which is where he now spends the rest of his nights.