ZeoMew2Too
08-26-2005, 11:29 AM
This fiver was written a long time ago. Back when Ninja Storm was midway through its run. Most of you won't remember these fivers. Most of you hadn't even joined the forum yet, and I hadn't even recieved my first ban for "Britney is Dogmeat." Because that was around the time of "Cam's Hidden Talent." Funny how you remember this shit, eh?
Anyhow, this is not written in "Rangerboard Fiver style." This is original Five Minute Voyager stuff. There are no *'s to tell you where the action is taking place, or describe it to you. All the humor revolves around the dialogue, and you'd really be lost if you hadn't seen the episode before. I actually prefer this style of fivering. It cuts down on clutter, and really makes them "five minutes or less" reads. But I knew if I started using a "Rovang" style of parody, it would increase my audience. More people would read them, as they wouldn't just be like captions with no pictures.
I'm posting this for a big reason: RedRanger2003, your fivers are just too long. And the humor does seem a bit forced. I wrote this one back when I didn't even know what "Family Guy" was, and I thought the Simpsons pWnd Futurama. So it is possible to be funny, and not have watched alot of funny TV shows. There's a general rule of thumb with comedy: take something about life you think is ridiculous, and take it to the extreme to prove a point. The same formula can work in parodying all the most ludicrous bits of movies, TV shows, comic books, etc. This is most notable in stand-up comedy. And when Family Guy isn't doing injokes, they even use it.
So just observe this simple, yet elegant, style of humor. It's abstract, and the sex references and profanity are some of the most mild I've written since. But I, for one, still find it pretty funny. Enjoy!
Five Minute Ninja Storm
by Mew2Too
"Looming Thunder"
Dustin : Whoa, I dumped my bike!
Kelly : You totally suck, Dustin.
Dustin : Yeah, well, there's nothing I can do about that.
Blake : Hey, we're brothers.
Hunter : That's right.
Dustin : May I take the time to point out that Hunter looks like an ordinary blonde hair, blue eyes white guy. Meanwhile, Blake looks like he should be in China eating Rice Wing Woo or something with little wooden chopsticks?
Blake : Shut your racist mouth! We're adopted, you politically incorrect moron.
Dustin : Y'know, if you'd told me that in the first place, it would've saved me a lot of trouble.
Hunter : By the way... You suck.
Cam : Look, Dustin, ninja dirtbikes! I call them the Tsunami Cycles.
Dustin : Doesn't "tsunami" have something to do with water? Why would dirt bikes...
Cam : Dustin NO TALKING!
Dustin : Man, those bikes were awesome!
Cam : Dustin, I'm giving you the specs so you can lose them to the Thunder Rangers. Any questions?
Dustin : What, do you think I royally suck or something?
Cam : I'm not answering that.
Shane : Dustin, where were you? You're just becoming "Suckiest Ranger of the Day."
Dustin : Hey, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Lothor : Zurgane, you didn't capture the Tsunami Cycles. You're starting to suck.
Zurgane : People seem to love that word around here, don't they?
Lothor : Guys, I'm sick of waiting. Why aren't the Wind Rangers dead or something?
Thunder Rangers : Hey, don't pressure us. It's not exactly like your plans were going anywhere.
Marah and Kapri : I wanna have their babies!
Terramole : EARTHQUAKE!
Cam : Guys, the Earth is shaking!
Shane : Wow, ya think?!
Tori : Look, it's a mole monster!
Shane : Mmh. Maybe he's got something to do with it.
Dustin : Sorry guys, I was at the track.
Shane : You know, this "being late" stuff is taking you into the far reaches of suckitude.
Shane : Now that we're rangered up, we're gonna beat your sorry ass, Terramole.
Terramole : That's Ranger cruelty and mole discrimination, and I won't stand for it!
Shane : Dammit! He beat us like one-legged step children and then escaped. This is all your fault, Dustin!
Dustin : Crap.
Dustin : Hunter, Blake, meet Shane. Shane, meet Blake and Hunter. Tori and Blake, meet a steamy secret love affair.
Shane : Hey, Dustin, Sensei is ready to kill you. Let's get back to Ninja Ops.
Dustin : Okay, Tori, no time for nookie! Let's go!
Shane : Hey, maybe if I turn around now, I'll hear Blake and Hunter saying terrible things about Dustin.
Blake : Hey, bro, that Tori is major hot. But of course, Dustin sucks.
Shane : I knew it!
Hunter : Hey, bro, keep it down! Someone might be listening.
Blake : Yeah, suuuuurre!
Shane : You know, Dustin, Blake and Hunter think you suck.
Dustin : Oh, c'mon, man! All your friends pretend to like you, too.
Shane : Wait, you guys are my friends. You don't pretend, right?
Dustin and Tori : *whistling*
Shane : Hey, man, you're an irresponsible dope these days, bro.
Dustin : Sensei, help me here.
Sensei : Sorry, Dustin, he's got you there. You're screwed.
Dustin : Dammit, I'm gonna prove you all right by going to the track now!
Dustin : Hey, dudes, you don't think I suck, do you?
Blake : No way, bro!
Hunter : I do.
Blake : Shut up.
Cam : Who wants to bet that - just when Dustin leaves - a monster attacks.
Shane : Don't be ridiculous, Cam.
(The Earth starts to shake.)
Cam : I win!
Hunter : Hey, Dustin, is that a morpher?
Dustin : No... No, not really... *whistles* I gotta go!
Blake : Screw your friends. They don't like you.
Dustin : As much as I believe you, the answer's no. Now, take my backpack with the Tsunami Cycle CD in it. Enjoy!
Blake : Hunter, you're right. He is an idiot.
Dustin : Why, good thing I got here in time to see my friends getting the snot beat out of 'em.
Shane : Hey, Dustin, why don't you play Whack-A-Mole with the Lion Hammer?
Dustin : Ooh! Games! Fun! Hee hee!
Tori : Is he starting to remind me WAY too much of Rocky DeSantos?
Cam : I still say Dustin's a moron.
Sensei : Well, that's why he's wearing the Daddy Pants this episode and you're STILL not a Ranger.
Cam : Damn!
Dustin : Storm Striker! Get flattened by an Acme Anvil, you moley scum.
Terramole : GAK!
Marah : How do I make him big?
Kapri : Just keep pressing buttons, you'll get it eventually.
(Marah presses a button, Kapri turns into a dog.)
Kapri : Idiot!
Terramole : Somebody call a plastic surgeon, cuz this mole has gotten way too big!
Dustin : Somebody call the bad joke police and have them arrest the writers.
Dustin : Let's go into Lightning Megazord mode, guys!
(The Rangers still get the crap beat out of them.)
Shane : You suck, Dustin.
Dustin : That's my job, man!
Dustin : Eat hot Goat Hammer, alien scum!
Terramole : ARRGH!
Dustin : HEY...
Terramole : Oh, yeah, right. GAK!
Tori : Hey, Dustin rocks now!
Shane : Don't go too far with this, Tori.
Shane : Hey, Dustin, we came down to the track to help you be irresponsible.
Tori : By the way, we didn't mean you totally suck...
Shane : We just meant you kind of suck!
Dustin : Thanks, guys. You made my day.
Tori : Hey, where'd Blake and Hunter go?
Dustin : They're standing over there in Thunder Rangers costumes.
Thunder Rangers : HEY!
(The Thunder Rangers scamper of at Ludicrous Speed.)
Anyhow, this is not written in "Rangerboard Fiver style." This is original Five Minute Voyager stuff. There are no *'s to tell you where the action is taking place, or describe it to you. All the humor revolves around the dialogue, and you'd really be lost if you hadn't seen the episode before. I actually prefer this style of fivering. It cuts down on clutter, and really makes them "five minutes or less" reads. But I knew if I started using a "Rovang" style of parody, it would increase my audience. More people would read them, as they wouldn't just be like captions with no pictures.
I'm posting this for a big reason: RedRanger2003, your fivers are just too long. And the humor does seem a bit forced. I wrote this one back when I didn't even know what "Family Guy" was, and I thought the Simpsons pWnd Futurama. So it is possible to be funny, and not have watched alot of funny TV shows. There's a general rule of thumb with comedy: take something about life you think is ridiculous, and take it to the extreme to prove a point. The same formula can work in parodying all the most ludicrous bits of movies, TV shows, comic books, etc. This is most notable in stand-up comedy. And when Family Guy isn't doing injokes, they even use it.
So just observe this simple, yet elegant, style of humor. It's abstract, and the sex references and profanity are some of the most mild I've written since. But I, for one, still find it pretty funny. Enjoy!
Five Minute Ninja Storm
by Mew2Too
"Looming Thunder"
Dustin : Whoa, I dumped my bike!
Kelly : You totally suck, Dustin.
Dustin : Yeah, well, there's nothing I can do about that.
Blake : Hey, we're brothers.
Hunter : That's right.
Dustin : May I take the time to point out that Hunter looks like an ordinary blonde hair, blue eyes white guy. Meanwhile, Blake looks like he should be in China eating Rice Wing Woo or something with little wooden chopsticks?
Blake : Shut your racist mouth! We're adopted, you politically incorrect moron.
Dustin : Y'know, if you'd told me that in the first place, it would've saved me a lot of trouble.
Hunter : By the way... You suck.
Cam : Look, Dustin, ninja dirtbikes! I call them the Tsunami Cycles.
Dustin : Doesn't "tsunami" have something to do with water? Why would dirt bikes...
Cam : Dustin NO TALKING!
Dustin : Man, those bikes were awesome!
Cam : Dustin, I'm giving you the specs so you can lose them to the Thunder Rangers. Any questions?
Dustin : What, do you think I royally suck or something?
Cam : I'm not answering that.
Shane : Dustin, where were you? You're just becoming "Suckiest Ranger of the Day."
Dustin : Hey, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Lothor : Zurgane, you didn't capture the Tsunami Cycles. You're starting to suck.
Zurgane : People seem to love that word around here, don't they?
Lothor : Guys, I'm sick of waiting. Why aren't the Wind Rangers dead or something?
Thunder Rangers : Hey, don't pressure us. It's not exactly like your plans were going anywhere.
Marah and Kapri : I wanna have their babies!
Terramole : EARTHQUAKE!
Cam : Guys, the Earth is shaking!
Shane : Wow, ya think?!
Tori : Look, it's a mole monster!
Shane : Mmh. Maybe he's got something to do with it.
Dustin : Sorry guys, I was at the track.
Shane : You know, this "being late" stuff is taking you into the far reaches of suckitude.
Shane : Now that we're rangered up, we're gonna beat your sorry ass, Terramole.
Terramole : That's Ranger cruelty and mole discrimination, and I won't stand for it!
Shane : Dammit! He beat us like one-legged step children and then escaped. This is all your fault, Dustin!
Dustin : Crap.
Dustin : Hunter, Blake, meet Shane. Shane, meet Blake and Hunter. Tori and Blake, meet a steamy secret love affair.
Shane : Hey, Dustin, Sensei is ready to kill you. Let's get back to Ninja Ops.
Dustin : Okay, Tori, no time for nookie! Let's go!
Shane : Hey, maybe if I turn around now, I'll hear Blake and Hunter saying terrible things about Dustin.
Blake : Hey, bro, that Tori is major hot. But of course, Dustin sucks.
Shane : I knew it!
Hunter : Hey, bro, keep it down! Someone might be listening.
Blake : Yeah, suuuuurre!
Shane : You know, Dustin, Blake and Hunter think you suck.
Dustin : Oh, c'mon, man! All your friends pretend to like you, too.
Shane : Wait, you guys are my friends. You don't pretend, right?
Dustin and Tori : *whistling*
Shane : Hey, man, you're an irresponsible dope these days, bro.
Dustin : Sensei, help me here.
Sensei : Sorry, Dustin, he's got you there. You're screwed.
Dustin : Dammit, I'm gonna prove you all right by going to the track now!
Dustin : Hey, dudes, you don't think I suck, do you?
Blake : No way, bro!
Hunter : I do.
Blake : Shut up.
Cam : Who wants to bet that - just when Dustin leaves - a monster attacks.
Shane : Don't be ridiculous, Cam.
(The Earth starts to shake.)
Cam : I win!
Hunter : Hey, Dustin, is that a morpher?
Dustin : No... No, not really... *whistles* I gotta go!
Blake : Screw your friends. They don't like you.
Dustin : As much as I believe you, the answer's no. Now, take my backpack with the Tsunami Cycle CD in it. Enjoy!
Blake : Hunter, you're right. He is an idiot.
Dustin : Why, good thing I got here in time to see my friends getting the snot beat out of 'em.
Shane : Hey, Dustin, why don't you play Whack-A-Mole with the Lion Hammer?
Dustin : Ooh! Games! Fun! Hee hee!
Tori : Is he starting to remind me WAY too much of Rocky DeSantos?
Cam : I still say Dustin's a moron.
Sensei : Well, that's why he's wearing the Daddy Pants this episode and you're STILL not a Ranger.
Cam : Damn!
Dustin : Storm Striker! Get flattened by an Acme Anvil, you moley scum.
Terramole : GAK!
Marah : How do I make him big?
Kapri : Just keep pressing buttons, you'll get it eventually.
(Marah presses a button, Kapri turns into a dog.)
Kapri : Idiot!
Terramole : Somebody call a plastic surgeon, cuz this mole has gotten way too big!
Dustin : Somebody call the bad joke police and have them arrest the writers.
Dustin : Let's go into Lightning Megazord mode, guys!
(The Rangers still get the crap beat out of them.)
Shane : You suck, Dustin.
Dustin : That's my job, man!
Dustin : Eat hot Goat Hammer, alien scum!
Terramole : ARRGH!
Dustin : HEY...
Terramole : Oh, yeah, right. GAK!
Tori : Hey, Dustin rocks now!
Shane : Don't go too far with this, Tori.
Shane : Hey, Dustin, we came down to the track to help you be irresponsible.
Tori : By the way, we didn't mean you totally suck...
Shane : We just meant you kind of suck!
Dustin : Thanks, guys. You made my day.
Tori : Hey, where'd Blake and Hunter go?
Dustin : They're standing over there in Thunder Rangers costumes.
Thunder Rangers : HEY!
(The Thunder Rangers scamper of at Ludicrous Speed.)