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colley
06-17-2005, 11:41 AM
Something I wrote a good while back, and just now got around to finally editing and finishing up.
Borrowing a bit from their characterizations in both Zyuranger, and MMPR.

"Love's Gold"
The tide of battle had turned. Zordon of Eltar, the mentor of the Power Rangers, had made the ultimate sacrifice in order to save the entire universe. His containment tube destroyed, Zordon’s energy exploded out through the cosmos like rippling water. From Earth, to the distant planet of Aquitar, the forces of Dark Specter and Astronema were wiped out by the purifying power of Zordon’s energy.
The planet of Triforia was no different. As its defenders battled against the forces of Lord Zedd and Rita Repulsa, the wave grew closer to the planet. Among the invading forces were two of Rita’s top generals, Scorpina and Goldar.
Scorpina looked up to the sky, watching as Zordon’s energy wave tore through their air support units, disintegrating them on contact.
“Goldar!” she shouted. She immediately cried out in pain as he momentary distraction had left her open, and she took a fierce strike to the back from a laser blast.
Goldar looked toward his partner as she dropped to her knees, and rushed to her side, knocking his own troops out of his way in the process. The wave was drawing closer, now wiping out their ground forces. He quickly helped Scorpina up, pushing the handle of his sword into her hands. She looked up at him, confused, as he spun her around so that he stood between her and the energy wave.
“I love you,” Goldar said before driving his sword blade first into the ground, activating a teleportation spell.
Scorpina and the sword vanished in a burst of green smoke and red flames, just as the energy wave reached him. Goldar smiled to himself as his body was reduced to ash. She was safe.

Mariner Bay, California, USA
2 Years Later
“Your lives end here, Rangers!” shouted the giant monster, an iguana-like creature with glowing red spikes on its shoulders. Flames erupted around the spikes as the monster cupped its hands forward and unleashed a burst of fiery energy across the city skyline.
The Supertrain Megazord took the brunt of the blast full on in the chest, its armor barely even phased as it stood defiantly.
“Think again, Smokey!” Joel, the Green Lightspeed Ranger, shouted over the Megazord’s external speakers. He looked at the other four Rangers in the cockpit with him. “Let’s finish this guy!”
“Already ahead of you, Joel,” Carter, the Red Ranger replied. “Turbines, full power!”
From the distance, atop a building, Scorpina watched the two behemoths fight. The Supertrain’s shoulder armaments began charging up and unleashed a tremendous volley of missiles and rapid gun fire. The iguana monster screamed in pain as the attacks ripped through its body. It then staggered, and exploded as it fell to the ground. Within seconds, its body was nothing more than dust.
“New Rangers, same results,” Scorpina said to herself with a smirk. She glanced down toward the street two see two more monsters running away from the scene. “Vypra and Loki, just the two I was looking for.”
She picked up her curved blade and leaped off the rooftop. Vypra and Loki jumped back in surprise as Scorpina landed nimbly in front of them. Both raised their weapons defensively.
“Who goes there?!” Loki demanded.
“Wait… Scorpina?” Vypra asked, curiously.
Scorpina smiled, “Long time no see, Vypra. Failing as usual, I see.”
Vypra narrowed her eyes at Scorpina, “You’re one to talk. What brings you here?”
“I need to talk to Queen Bansheera,” Scorpina replied. She rested her blade to one side, “And I want to you take me to her.”
Vypra laughed, “And what makes you think I’d do that?”
Scorpina held out her other hand, holding a large scroll. “Because I have something she wants.”
Vypra stared at the tri-skull design on back of the scroll, “That’s… That’s the Scroll of Bandora!”
“And with it, your Queen’s forces would be unstoppable, but only if you take me to her,” Scorpina said.
Loki looked at the scroll, then to Vypra, “Queen Bansheera WOULD be pleased if that scroll was brought to her.”
Vypra nodded, “Very well. Follow us.”

Skull Cavern (Pocket Dimension)
“Scorpina, how did you come across this?” Queen Bansheera, still imprisoned within the walls of her own temple, asked. She quickly glanced over the scroll once more as Jynxer held it up for her to see.
“After Zordon’s energy wave purified Rita and Zedd, I went back to their palace on the moon. I found the scroll when raiding the remains of Rita’s vaults.”
“Hmph, Rita was a fool to just let the scroll go unused,” Bansheera said.
“One would think so, but the truth is that she could never use it on her own monsters. The scroll tells how to resurrect only those of natural birth. Rita’s monsters were all artificial, nothing more than clay,” Scorpina replied.
Jynxer cackled, “My queen, we can use it to bring back all of your fallen monsters!”
“Yes, but I sense another motive here,” Bansheera said, turning her focus to the scorpion-woman.
“You know me all too well. I wish merely to resurrect the warrior Goldar,” Scorpina said.
Bansheera smirked, “So be it. However, you must do one thing for us.”
Scorpina nodded, “The key piece to the spell, I know. It requires the powers of a Ranger to bring one back from the Shadow World.”
“Might I suggest the Lightspeed Aqua Base,” Jynxer chimed in.
“Yes, a brilliant idea, Jynxer. We can use the Lightspeed Ranger’s own powers to bring back those they’ve destroyed,” Queen Bansheera replied.
Scorpina nodded once more, and left the Queen’s chamber.
After she was gone, Jynxer looked back at Bansheera, “Surely, my queen, you do not intended to let her resurrect Goldar?”
“Oh, but I do, Jynxer. They will get their reunion, but then we shall steal both their life force energies and use them so that I may free myself once more,” Bansheera cackled.

Lightspeed Aqua Base
Deep Beneath Mariner Bay Harbor
All across the Aqua Base, alarms blared.
Captain Mitchell shouted into his headset’s mic, “All security personnel move into position! This is a Code Red, repeat, a Code Red. We are under attack!”
“How did a demon even get inside the base?” Joel asked as he ran out of the control room with Dana, the Pink Lightspeed Ranger.
“We’ll have to figure that out once we take care of whomever it is, Joel” Dana replied as they caught up with the other 3 rangers.
Captain Mitchell watched the Rangers rush down the corridor on the monitors, and then looked back at Miss Fairweather. “How DID she get in?”
“As far as I can tell, she seems to have just teleported in,” Miss Fairweather replied as she worked at her station. She went wide eyed as the computer matched up her scans with its databanks. “Captain… she’s not one of Bansheera’s.”
Mitchell stared at the monitor and then keyed his mic once more. “Rangers, be careful, you’re going up against one of the invaders from Angel Grove.”

Scorpina smirked as she easily dispatched another set of guards. She glanced down the hallway to see the unmorphed Lightspeed Rangers fast approaching. “I see the color guard has finally arrived.”
“We’re not going to let you go any farther,” Joel shouted as he attacked Scorpina with a fierce punch.
She caught his fist, and slung him into the wall, ducking under a set of high kicks from Dana, and Chad, the Blue Ranger. Quickly, she stood back up to block a punch from Carter, and kicked him in the gut, sending the former firefighter stumbling backwards.
Cassie, the Yellow Ranger, flipped over Carter, and tried to land a kick on Scorpina, but the villainess caught the Ranger and shoved her aside. She spun around as she heard a cry of “Lightspeed Rescue!” from Chad, Dana, and Joel.
The now morphed Blue, Pink, and Green Rangers charged once more, withdrawing their Rescue Batons. Scorpina blocked the batons with her blade, hearing the other remaining two rangers morph as well. She sent Blue, Pink, and Green skidding back into the wall with a volley of energy blasts from her claw tips, and leaped over Red and Yellow as they charged her.
“You guys really need to fire whoever did your suit designs,” she commented as she swung her blade at Yellow’s chest.
Yellow blocked with her baton and began pushing Scorpina back towards an open door leading into one of the hanger bays. The lights sprang to life, illuminating the fighters as the other Rangers rushed in after them.
“Only if you get rid of whoever designed your head piece,” Yellow replied as she managed to land a few quick blows to Scorpina’s armor.
Yellow ducked and rolled back as the Blue and Green Rangers leapt over her, swinging their newly summoned V-Lancers down at Scorpina. She recoiled as the strikes knocked her back, only to be struck from behind by the Pink Ranger and her charged Battle Booster. Green and Blue struck simultaneously again, as Pink leapt over and unleashed a volley of lasers from her Rescue Blaster.
Scorpina staggered back again as Blue and Green leapt aside, and Pink did a splits on the ground, revealing Red and Yellow charging up their V-Lancers.
“V-Lancers, FIRE!” Red shouted as he and Yellow unleashed the charged energy from their weapons at Scorpina.
She quickly raised her blade blocking the blast, and then swung the blade, sending the energy back at all five rangers. The Rangers cried out in pain and fell to the ground, the amplified energy having ripped through the first layer of their suits. Scorpina paused a second to try and catch her breath, and then walked toward the Red Ranger. She gave the Ranger a swift kick in the gut, and then grabbed him by the throat.
“You’re coming with me,” she said with a smirk.
The other Rangers tried to get to their feet and stop her, but were too late as she and Red vanished in a burst of green smoke and red flames.

Skull Cavern
“Well done, Scorpina!” Bansheera proclaimed as she looked over the now demorphed Red Ranger. Her Batling henchmen had chained Carter up between two stone pillars after stripping him of his morpher. “If only my regular help could be this proficient at their work.”
Scorpina smiled as she bowed, “Now we can begin the resurrection ceremony.”
She held out her hand, Goldar’s sword materializing in a burst of green and black flames. She placed the sword blade first into the ground, a circle of red light forming around her on the ground. Scorpina then placed Carter’s morpher around the hilt.
“What are you planning to do?” Carter shouted as he struggled with his restraints.
Scorpina smiled at Carter as she stepped outside the ring of light. “Tell me, Red Ranger, would you do everything you could do to help a loved one? Would you break through the doors of Hell itself to get to them?”
Carter was taken back a bit by the question. “What? Of course I would!”
“Very good, Red Ranger. Then perhaps you’ll understand why I’m doing this,” Scorpina replied. She looked toward Jynxer, “Begin.”
Jynxer unrolled the Scroll of Bandora and began to read the incantation. Carter, still a bit puzzled over Scorpina’s comment, tried to get free once more. Failing that, he looked toward Goldar’s sword, watching as the circle of light began to grow brighter, soon engulfing both the sword and his morpher.

The Shadow World
“So I was all like, ‘HEY! That’s my taco!’ but he kept pulling and pulling. So I tried to shove him away…” Rito Revolto said as he told his story.
Goldar rubbed his brow, growling in annoyance. “Rito, you’ve told this story 23 times already!”
“Hey, I don’t see YOU chiming in with any good time killers!” the skeleton monster replied. “I wish Ed was here, I’m sure he’d have a lot of good stories he could share.”
“You bonehead! Zedd was turned into a human instead of being sent here to the Shadow World,” Goldar replied.
“…Ew,” was all Rito could say in response. He looked over at Goldar, “Uh, hey, Goldar?”
“WHAT?! If you’re going to ask me to pull your finger again, FORGET IT!” he shouted in annoyance.
Rito pointed at him, “Actually, I was wondering if you knew why you were glowing?”
Goldar blinked, and looked himself over. Sure enough, he was starting to glow red. “Well... this is new.”
Rito watched as Goldar began to fade away, “Hey, HEY! Where you going?! Can I come too?! And if not... can I have your room?”
Goldar growled, “Rito, shut up.” He then vanished entirely.
Rito stared at where Goldar had been sitting, and then scratched his head. “Huh… guess he’s not coming back.” He then looked around, “HEY! Pudgy Pig! Long time no see! Did I ever tell you about time I got into a fight over a taco?”

Skull Cavern
Carter averted his eyes as a blinding light erupted from the glowing sword and filled the cavern. As it faded, he looked back to a winged form materializing. It staggered and dropped to one knee as it solidified. It took him a moment, but he suddenly recognized it from reports he had read about the Angel Grove Rangers. “Goldar…”
Scorpina stepped in front of Goldar and knelt down beside him. “Hello, love.”
Goldar shook his head, disoriented still. He gazed up at her face. “Lammie?”
Scorpina smiled and brushed her clawed fingers down the side of his face gently. “Yes, it’s me. It’s been a while.”
Goldar clasped his hands around hers, and leaned his head against them. She leaned her head against his. Scorpina smiled and then began to whisper something to him.
“I believe the reunion’s gone on long enough,” Bansheera interrupted. “Loki! Vypra! I want their life force energies for myself!”
Scorpina shoved Goldar back, and dodged a volley of energy blasts from Bansheera’s goons. She and Goldar suddenly found themselves surrounded by Batlings.
“Did you really think I’d let you two leave?” the queen cackled. “Surrender your life forces peacefully, and I assure you your deaths will be quick.”
Goldar retrieved his sword and grinned. “We’ll see above that!” He unleashed a flurry of energy blasts from both his eyes and the palm of his hand at the Batlings, destroying many of them. His blasts also struck Jynxer, and destroyed the Scroll of Bandora. He then gripped his sword and charged, cutting into the remaining henchmen.
Carter looked in surprise as Scorpina suddenly cut him free of his restraints, and then grabbed hold of him.
“Hold on, Ranger,” Scorpina ordered as she clenched her free fist and struck her chest armor. She, Goldar, and Carter, all vanished as the teleportation spell activated.
“NO!” Bansheera screamed in rage.
Jynxer, staggered out of the cavern, trying to hide. “Oh dear, oh dear!”
Loki and Vypra looked around Jynxer, trying to hide as well.
He glanced back at the two of them. “I suggest we try and stay out of sight for a while, the Queen is most definitely upset!”

Outskirts of Mariner Bay.
Carter yelled in surprised as he was hurled to the ground, quickly turning around to see Goldar and Scorpina smiling.
“Here,” Scorpina said as she unceremoniously threw Carter’s morpher down on the ground in front of him. He quickly snatched it up, strapping it to his wrist and took a defensive stance.
“But why? I thought you were working with Bansheera?” Carter asked, confused.
Goldar laughed, “Pathetic human, she was one of Rita’s biggest rivals, centuries before Zordon and her ever crossed paths.”
“I merely needed her powers to help resurrect Goldar,” Scorpina added.
“Not that I’m complaining, but why’d you free me?” Carter asked.
“Simple, Ranger,” Scorpina began. She wrapped an arm around Goldar. “We want you and the other Rangers to destroy her. That way, our child will have a planet to conquer when she comes of age.”
Goldar grinned, “We will meet again, Ranger.” He spread his wings, lifting Scorpina into his arms as he took to the air.
Carter narrowed his eyes as he watched the aliens fly off. “I’ll be waiting…” He looked down at his morpher as the comlink activated.
“Carter! Come in!” Captain Mitchell said worriedly. “We just managed to get back your signal. Where are you? Are you ok?”
“I’m OK, Captain, but you’re not going to believe what just happened….” Carter replied.

THE END

Faqa
06-17-2005, 12:13 PM
Short and decent. Since:

A - The writing isn't awful.

B - It's not done in a would-be "clever and engaging" script format.

You're above a lot of the forum.

One tip - things happened too quickly. We were rushed through the whole story. Slower pacing, more characterization(Goldar could use it, he's a bit out of character). Oh, and work on the action scenes a bit.The final fight was seriously anti-climatic.

Overall, not bad. Keep writing!

Magic Force
06-17-2005, 12:32 PM
^^I agree with Faga on this. It seemed really rushed. Had things been slowed down and given time to develop/play out, it would've been better. Heck, maybe you even should've wrote in chapters instead of a one shot deal. It definitely would've kept people's attention longer. :)

But I thought the writing was excellent. But I wanna suggest, besides slowing down, inserting spaces in there....it got a little hard to read sometimes.

Great job!

~MF~

dragomuseveni
06-23-2005, 02:08 AM
hey great story that was awsome, but i agree with the others, it needs something more. i mean it would be really cool to see how this storyline plays out. if u were willing to keep going on it that is, cuz it rocked!!!