PDA

View Full Version : Old School Ranger fanfic


BatRanger
06-16-2005, 01:54 AM
This is the premise behind my fanfic. And I'll post an actual piece from the beginning of the fic that explains my story. And when you see Tommy, it's Tommy Oliver.

Tommy: Alright sit down. This is going to be a long story. (They all sit.) Clayton here as been a friend to the Power Rangers ever since the beginning. He never was an official Power Ranger, but we always considered him one of us. He learned how to fight by training with me and the original Red Ranger Jason. He always would help fight the henchmen things like the first ones called Putties. But he never could fight with us against the monsters we faced. He always felt left out when we morphed and went off to fight the monster. After awhile he started studying science with the original Blue Ranger Billy. It wasn't long after that he had created a belt that would emit a field around him that would protect him as if he were a ranger. Well when we gained the power of the Zeo crystal, he had this theory that our old Zords still existed somewhere and if we just found them a new power source they would be a valuable addition to our forces. After some time passed and we then gain the power of Turbo, he left to prove his theory correct. He completely disappeared. I mean we both kept in contact and I assume that he kept in contact with the others. But now I'll let him explain everything that happened after he left. (He smiles and motions to Clayton.)

Clayton ( smiles): Well after I left I started my search for all the other Zords. I started with the last places they were seen and went from there. The only Zord that I knew where it was, was the Dragon Zord. That was the first one I retrieved. I modified some of it's computer specs to locate the other Zords. As my search continued and I examined the power cores of the Zords, I had an epiphany. I always thought that as my friends got a new Zord their current powers and new ones combined in them and made them an even more powerful ranger. For example, Tommy was the first Green Ranger, then he was the White Ranger, then that power was modified and he kept the same color but his power increased. He then became a Red Ranger, then that power was increased, when he became the Red Turbo Ranger for a short time. And now he is the Black Ranger. He is the most powerful ranger ever now.

Hayley: That is interesting. (she puts her hand on her chin.)

Clayton (continued): Now, after I had found every Zord, they had used. I figured confined myself to my lab for months, figuring out a power source for the Zords to function and how to utilize the powers that each ranger absorbed. I then hand another epiphany. The old power coins they were the key to most of the puzzle. When the Command Center blew up the original coins were lost. So I went out and found them, after that I went looking for the Zeo crystals. Once I had gathered them, I closely examined all of them and I was right. The rangers and absorbed the powers into their bodies and the coins and crystals had become pretty powerful. So I found a way to merge them. But I knew my friends had become Turbo enhanced. So with all my discovery and the first prototype morpher, I went back to the Command Center. Upon my arrival I found that there were no rangers there that knew who I was. Even Zordon, the man who gave my friends their Ranger powers were gone. When they were going to attack me, I saw Alpha. I called to him, and it wasn't the original Alpha. To clarify Alpha was the robot that helped run the Command Center. Luckily I was able to prove that I knew the rangers that gave up their Turbo powers to them. And after I explained my research, Zordons replacement allowed me to study some of the turbo power. When I was done, the Power Rangers went into space. After that, I went back to my lab and finished my research. I completed power grid that would power the rangers and Zords. I created the final morpher's and went on the search for Tommy. ( Clayton turns to Tommy) And that reminds me.

BatRanger
06-16-2005, 02:05 AM
There will be seven rangers on the team. Their leader is Tommy. Clayton is a ranger, and I have the Red Ranger. Her name is Sophie. If anyone has suggestions for names I'll gladly listen.

Now here's is how the rangers will morph. Before they morph they use the classic call out phrase It's Morphin Time! When the activate the morphers this is what a ranger does to change. They hold out the morpher in front of them. And, well heres an example of what they would say:

Tommy: It's Morphin Time! (Tommy and Clayton reach behind them. They grab the morphers and hold them out in front of them and say). Green White Red Black power: Green Ranger Modified!

Clayton: Tiger Falcon power: White Ranger Modified!
------
the other rangers phrases are as follows:
red: Red & Blue power: Red Ranger Modified.
blue: Triceritops, Unicorn, Wolf: Blue Ranger Modified
black: Black & Green power: Black Ranger Modified
pink: Ptyeredactal, Fire Bird, Crane, Zeo, Turbo: Pink Ranger Modified
yellow: Sabertooth, Griffen, Bear, Zeo, Turbo: Yellow Ranger Modified
----
I'll have the costume design done soon, as well as the first story

Please tell me what you think. :023:

greenwc
06-16-2005, 11:20 AM
what do i think?
i think you should keep going
so please do

TBF
06-17-2005, 10:29 AM
It sounds like an interesting story, but some of the morphing phrases are a bit, well, dull, and sound sort of stupid or long drawn out. I would just do "It's Morphin' Time! (color) Ranger modified!"

BatRanger
06-17-2005, 11:20 AM
thanks for the input. It's stuff like that I need to hear to make a better story.

rangermaster
06-17-2005, 10:46 PM
This looks and sounds good. I look forward to reading this.

ForeverBlack
06-17-2005, 11:58 PM
No More Tommy!

TBF
06-18-2005, 12:29 PM
No More Tommy!
If you don't like Tommy, don't read the fic, you idiot.

Faqa
06-18-2005, 01:37 PM
Several things leave a bad taste in my mouth so far:

- This whole "modified Ranger" idea. Ranger teams stand on their OWN, not as walking, talking continuity porn. There can be throwbacks IN the story, but when the whole damn team's a throwback.... bad. Very bad, see? It ceases to be a team and becomes fan-wank. I'd suggest rethinking the concept.

- Clayton. You could have introduced the guy better. It seems like rushed exposition for a useless character.

- So the power is that of EVERY Ranger power up to Space? George's Rodd, anyone?

My suggestions:

- Get original powers(or at least stick to using ONE set of powers) for your characters.

- More script description(beyond "reaches behind back" and such).

- Less of the exposition fairy using Tommy as a vessel. Let things be revealed more naturally.

Make this team STAND OUT. Make it INDEPENDENT. Not MMPR's power bitch.

BatRanger
06-18-2005, 03:31 PM
Thank you Faqa. I appreciate the comments and critique. On my part I look at my original post and I see I didn't post things I needed to. Like the explination that Tommy and the powers are the only, as you say throwbacks. They would fight a brand new villian.

As for the powers. The powers are a combination of all those powers into a brand new power. I use the phrase ranger modified, because the power was modified. Just like it was in the show. Every power to now was modified in Power Rangers.


Why Tommy is talking in my first post as I said before it is, it was from the actually story. The first story takes place right as Tommy becomes the Black Dino Ranger. The three new rangers Conner, Ethan and Kira ask who Clayton is and why is has Ranger powers.

Again thanks for the critique. As I said it was my fault for not posting the above in my first post. This is my first fanfic so I'm learning how things works still. The one thing I did have to say about your critique was I didn't appreciate being called a bitch at the end of it.

Faqa
06-19-2005, 01:51 PM
Uh... I was calling your team a bitch. As in subservient to MMPR and the Church of Tommy Oliver in every way, which was the general impression given.

Just like DT stood on it's own without Tommy, so should this team, and I was afraid this fic was going in the opposite direction. I repeat my suggestion(though it is, of course, your fic) - original Ranger powers and names.

My most important point - more description. If you take heed to nothing else, take heed to that. My personal irk is opening a fic and finding out it's 90% dialog because the author didn't describe the scenes properly.

BatRanger
06-20-2005, 01:51 PM
Oh, ok I guess I was misunderstood who you were calling bitch.

As for the dialog, does look like a lot but there is pleny of action. I may make a new thread to explain this story. I do have a smaller descrition of the story and the ranger power

Red Turtle ranger
06-22-2005, 04:01 PM
I'm getting confused so they?I mean I know hayleys one of them but I don't know whos they?????!!!!!

BatRanger
06-22-2005, 06:43 PM
[QUOTE=BatRanger
Now here's is how the rangers will morph. Before they morph they use the classic call out phrase It's Morphin Time! When the activate the morphers this is what a ranger does to change. They hold out the morpher in front of them. And, well heres an example of what they would say:[/QUOTE]

well in this part I mean they as in the actual rangers that will have suits and zords. But I am making finishing touches and will be making a new thread, hopefully later today, that breaks down the fic. Along with the break down, I'll fix some of the problems with it.

BatRanger
06-28-2005, 03:08 AM
Hey everyone. i wanted to thank all my supporters and the people who have critiqued my story. For all those who are waiting for the story to start, the first chapter will be posted with in the next few days. Thanks for your patience.