Power Rangers Legacy

[Ninjakus]

Power Rangers: Legacy
By: MilleniumRanger




A world in need…
a mysterious glow around my friends and I …
The arrival of the power…
That was a night I’ll never forget.

------ Chris

Chapter one: Origins part 1

Our story begins in a small town called Goshen in Ohio on a stormy night as a young teen is walking down a dark ally. The boy then suddenly sees a woman being mugged.


Boy: don’t worry ma’am I’ll save you (as the boy ran closer)

Mugger: catch me if you can(as the man took off like lightning)

Boy: I have to try to catch him no matter how fast he can run (as the boy takes off after him he realizes he isn’t running but teleporting short distances as his body glows a Dark blue)

Boy: (thinking) this is incredible but how am I doing this maybe it is the storm
Mugger: how is that kid running so fast

(in no time at all the boy was ahead of the mugger)

Mugger: how did you do that boy

Boy: I don’t exactly know but what I do know is that you’ll be returning that bag you stole

Mugger: what makes you think that

Boy: I don’t think that I know that

(the boy teleporting in front of him lands a punch in the muggers face)

(the mugger drops the bag and disappears in to thin air)

Boy: here you go ma’am here is your bag (he starts to walk away)

Lady: come back Chris I have something for you

Chris: how did you know my name lady

Lady: I am no lady (seemingly pulls off skin to real a leathery looking green skinned old man)

Chris: what are you Who are you

Man: My name is Snarton I am what is known as a Giver I am the one who allowed you to teleport

Chris: that was you

Snarton: yes I can give you many things but the most important thing I will ever give you is this (opens bag and pulls out a little ball no bigger than a base ball that is glowing bright blue)

Chris: what is it

Snarton: It is a device known as a morpher by retrieving this bag you have proven yourself worthy of becoming the leader of the legacy rangers as the blue legacy ranger

Chris: just for getting a bag back from some mugger

Snarton: that wasn’t any mugger that was a wicked beast known as Maro if he had got this morphed the world would be destroyed by tomorrow

Chris: I see

Snarton: to morph call out “Legacy Blue” and throw the morpher up to become a ranger

Chris: am I alone as a ranger

Snarton: no there a re others but we must go now

Chris: where are we going

Snarton: to meet your team

Chris: my team

Snarton: Yes as the blue legacy ranger you are to lead the team in the battle against Maro but don’t worry all will be be explained soon



Part 2 coming soon maybe depending on if people like part 1

[democable]

well for starters if your going to use script format for posting, the enter key is your friend space it out a little, make it look better then it is, also i find it abit rushing into the plot line.

also very nice how you decied to make a blue ranger leader, try re-writing it into more story form then script and see how it looks

[Ninjakus]

I'm sorry I'm new at writing fics i wrote one a along time ago but its not on the board any more but other than that did you like it

[TBF]

It's a bit rushed, but okay. Might want to give capitalization and punctuation a try though.

[Ninjakus]

I thank you all for your critism but now before I waste my time writing part 2 do you like it and want to see more of it be completely honest its okay if you dont like it be brutally honest

[TBF]

I'd like to see more. It seems alright, besides what I mentioned before.

[Ninjakus]

Power Rangers: Legacy
By: MilleniumRanger



When danger calls…
Its our duty as Rangers…
To be the ones…
Who call back.

------Joe


Chapter one: Origins part 2



This part of the story resumes where the part one left off.


Chris: Where are we Snarton?

Snarton: We are at the center of the earth.

Chris: Really?

Snarton: No I’m just messin with you.

Chris: Aww where are we really?

Snarton: We our at my under-water fortress.

Chris: Didn’t you say I’d meet my team.

Snarton: Oh why yes of course. “Legacy rangers fall in”.

(4 teens come in)

Chris: Wow! Joe, Matt, Sarah, and Leslie. You guys are the other rangers!

Snarton: Chris do you already know these people.

Chris: These people are my best friends!

Joe, Matt, Sarah, and Leslie in unison: Chris!

Joe: Chris you’re the Blue ranger sweet!

(Joe and Chris High Five)

Snarton: Since you already know them. I’ll just have them sound off telling you their color, their ranger power base and civilian power. “Legacy rangers sound off”

Joe: Green Legacy Ranger, Solar ranger power, Civilian power able to create temporarily blinding solar flares.
Matt: Red Legacy Ranger, Fire based ranger power, Civilian power to shoot small fire balls from my hands.

Sarah: Pink Legacy Ranger, Water based ranger powers, Civilian power able to make water in to solid weapons.

Leslie: Yellow Legacy Ranger, Cosmic based powers, Civilian power able to shoot small stars out of hands.

Chris: Whoah whats my power and stuff?

Snarton: As the Blue Legacy Ranger your powers are lunar based and you know your civilian power.

Sarah: What power did you get Chris?

Chris: I got the ability to teleport short distances.

Leslie: That’s an awesome power.

Chris: I know why I was picked to be a ranger. Why were you guys-

Sarah and Leslie in unison: Hmn Hum

Chris: And girls picked?

Matt: I was picked when I got Snarton (as an old man) out of the way of a speeding car.

Sarah: I was picked when I saved Snarton (as a blind woman) from a con artist conning her because she was blind.

Joe: I was picked when I save Snarton (as a child) from a vicious dog.

Leslie: I was picked when I saved Snarton (as a middle age man) 15% or more on his car insurance by switching him to Geico….. Just kidding I was picked when I saved Snarton (as an infant) from a burning house.

Matt: How were you picked Chris?

Chris: Your reasons for being picked sound heroic my wasn’t really anything. I was picked when I retrieved Snarton (as an old woman) ’s bag (that at the time held my morpher) from a mugger who was actually this Maro guy.

Sarah: You con fronted Maro and lived to tell the tale!

Chris: Yeah so whats the big deal?

Leslie: You haven’t been here too long but we have and we’ve done research about our powers.

Joe: And we learned that our powers were created by the Givers to combat Maro.

Matt: Because until you no one has ever faced Maro and lived.

Sarah: Our powers together are the powers strong enough to defeat Maro.

Chris: Now I see why you guys were shocked when I told you why I was picked

Snarton: Come now rangers you have much training to complete before you’ll be able to defeat Maro.

Note: A special thanks goes to Poweranimals for editing and posting this chapter
Coming soon Chapter 2

[Ninjakus]

chapter one part two added

[Ninjakus]

Blue Legacy Ranger http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y23/omegaranger/re.gif mad props to FlashmanX

[TBF]

Cool pic. BTW, did you notice for some reason Poweranimals quoted Chap. 2 and put it in to a new thread (now on page 2)?

[Ninjakus]

yeah he posted it so that people could read when I was banned and couldn't post it

[Red Turtle ranger]

Just an opinion you should really let Leslie save Snarton by helping him get 15% or more on his car insurance by switching to geico

[Ninjakus]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y23/omegaranger/ffffff.gif the Whole team bitchin right? if you like em give a w00t to FlashmanX



w00t8

[TBF]

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y23/omegaranger/ffffff.gif the Whole team bitchin right? if you like em give a w00t to FlashmanX



w00t8
w00tness

[Ninjakus]

Power Rangers: Legacy
by: MIlleniumRanger



Rangers never stop...
Ranger never quit...
A Ranger now...
A Ranger forever.

------Leslie


Chapter Two: The Arrival


Our Story begins with the rangers walking out of the training room in the base...

Matt: I have to say thats the hardest workout I've had in a long time.

Sarah: Tell me about it that was some serious action.

Chris: Jeez! Snarton dont you think those soldier things were enough.

Snarton: No! Those "soldier things" are Qauanotrons Maro's foot soldiers where you find them you'll certainly find a monster.

Leslie: So we should take them seriously.

Chris: Only if we don't to have our butts kicked.

(A loud siren is heard by all)

Snarton: Thats the Evil alert Siren Thing or EAST.

Chris: Whats going on here.

Snarton: A monster is attacking the city.

All Rangers: "Legacy ( In order they ell ou their own respective color) Blue,Yellow,Red,Pink,Green."

(five color balls go up and as they fall project a suit on to each ranger)

There stood an amazing sight, The Power Rangers Legacy! http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y23/omegaranger/legacy.gif

Snarton: Go Rangers the city needs you!

(The rangers seemingly jump on to the scene only to see Quanotrons and a monster robbing a scince lab. )

Chris: Hold it!

Leslie: Didn't you mothers ever tell you stealing is wrong?

Silver Quanotron: beep beep urk eep

(At once all Quanotrons rush the rangers)

Sarah: We can handle these guys Go get the thief Chris.

Chris: On it!

(there stood a tall green haired white face clown monster.)

Monster: My my a Power Ranger wheres my autograph book

Chris: Enough of the jokes you wont be stealing the chemicals.

Monster: The names' WiseCrack and I believe I will.

Chris: The name fits you but you won't be leaving

WiseCrack: Oh I think I will.

Chris: Not if I have my say

(almost out of instinct Chris calls out "Legacy Blade" as a Blue bladed sword appears in his hand as he rushes WiseCrack.)

(The other Rangers rush in to see Chris slashing WiseCrack)

Matt and Joe: Go Blue!

Later at the base...

Snarton: Well done for your first mission but we haven't seen the last of WiseCrack.

Joe: All he tried to take was some Triforian oil.

Snarton: Oh no...

Joe: Whats so special about these oils.

Snarton: These oils share almost the same chemical signature of an oil secreted by us Givers the same oil that fuels your weapons and even you morphers.

Leslie: What would Maro want with giver oil.

Snarton: I Dont know thats what worries me the most.

Meanwhile on Saturn...

Maro with this Giver oilI can power the monster inflater

WiseCrack: NeatO boss but what does it do

Maro: you juggling buffon it makes monsters grow to giant size.

WiseCrack: If I grew big I would step on those Power Pukes

Maro: That can be arranged. Go to earth and await my command.

Meanwhile at the under water base

(EAST is sounding)

Joe: I guess were about to find out.

(The Rangers all show up in the city to find a giant WiseCrack stompin)

Leslie: Woah someone has been eatin thier wheaties!

Matt: Uh Snarton that little problem earlier just got bigger.

Snarton: Rangers look behind you!

(all the rangers turn around to see giant robot warrior like zords.)

Sarah: Thanks Snarton the zords arrival was just on time.

Snarton: Your welcome!

(all rangers jump in to their zords)

All at once: Lets go!

Chris: Surround him.

(The Zords all move with an after image effect to surrond him.)

Chris: Legacy Blast!

(out of all five zords comes a colored beam that strike WiseCrack at one time.)

WiseCrack: I'll be back as he diappears as a ball of light.

Unbeknownst to the rangers a cloaked figure had seen the whole victory and was onhis way to them they jumped out of there zords

Chris: Who are you?



Chapter 3 coming soon!

[TBF]

cool.

[Ninjakus]

Joe I tried to use your advice in Part2 of chapter one and chapter two i was using wordpad instead of word processor late last night

[Ninjakus]

new ranger suits because the old pics stopped workinghttp://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y23/omegaranger/legacy.gif

[TSoldier]

You're gonna have toexcuse the illiteracy on my part. I'm only half awake right now.

Well, the little addage-like quotes from the Rangers starting out the chapters is a good idea. I mean a really good idea. It set my hopes up for this fic because I've never seen it before, and more than that, they delivered well, being strong despite their shortness, and having meaning despite their aloofness. It's the first thing we read going into this fic and based on that alone I was very impressed.

The thing that won't gain much praise is the usage of script format. That's just more useful for dialogue, and with a story like Power Rangers, there's gonna be a lot more to explain then just what a character is saying. I will say, however, that this fic started out pretty strong despite it's short comings. One of those shortcomings is, as others have mentioned, the rushed feeling of the story. Lagging stories that are drowned in exposition make me want to pull my hair out. You didn't do anything of the sort with that here, but in all honestly, you really didn't go out of your way to tell the story but seemed to want the dialogue to do that for you. This can work on few occasions, but not many, & certainly not as the only means to explain what's going on.

Despite being in script format, you did make efforts to tell the story in the narrative,and I don't mean thru the Ranger's explanation of things that have occured. But as I mentioned before, with a series like Power Ranger's, it takes more to really do the action right, otherwise it's just not worth doing the scene. Case in point, your Zord battle.

"Look a giant guy"

"Look giant robots for us to get this guy let's get him"

(The Ranger's get him)

First of all, the puncuation needs to be, well,existant. Secondly, we need to know what's happening. There was practically 0 description of the Zords. To the reader's the Zords are just featureless, undefined, metal forms that can apparently shoot lasers, it's just never clear from where.

The dialouge is a few really good, but few nonetheless, flavos above dry and bland. What makes it worse is that the dialogue is the story, in which case you need the dialougue to be great. Now, the sialogue isn't a complete failure. Above many other fics here, even ones that go into detail with the stories and the adventures that take place in each episode, the dialogue has, in some way, manage to differentiate some of the characters. It's like, you can tell the difference in who's speaking between Billy and Kimberly, or Kira and Ethan, even just by reading their dialogue. And while that sets your story above some of the rest your, your Promo-sized chapters bring the story back down. Each of your stories have just been scenes, and while the 1st 2-parter seemed to have a natural flow, the 3rd chapter felt like we jumped straight to the end of a story and missed the majority of it in the middle.

What you have a good amount of in Part's 1 mostly, and a fair amount of in Part 2 and less of in Part 3 is creativity. Aside from the flaws, Part 1 of Chpter 1 was like a short-hand 1st scene of a good, full length story. You need to consider the things that will make your fic enoyable,and remember that lack of plot, detail, and originality (like some of the dialogue( are all things that are gonna make your fic that much more enoyable. This needs work, but I've seen only a sad few original concept PR Team's show as much promise as this.

[Ninjakus]

thanx this is my first fic I bothered to go beyond part one and so im a n00b at writing but I really appreciate your feed back coming from you TSoldier if it was someone like Havemercy I would've just ignored it but i will try to work on the things you mentioned I'm trying a few new things like a blue ranger leader and have a girl provide most of the comedy and how they all got picked by saving Snarton as a different form which I didn't know how well would go over I'm trying to be as original as posssible without taken much from the show but thanx for the feedback I will definetly work on the before mentioned things

[Ninjakus]

Power Rangers: Legacy
By: MilleniumRanger



Friend or foe….
Light or dark….
Good or evil….
Rangers make many choices.
------Sarah


Chapter 3: Friend or Foe


Our story today starts as a mysterious cloaked figure has just confronted the rangers.



Chris: Who are you?

Figure: My true name is of no use to you but for now you may call me Julian.

Matt: Well Julian why are you here?

Julian: I am here for as what you earth children call a “test”.

Joe :”Earth children” What are you?

( Julian pulls off his cloak to reveal a boy in his mid twenties with only one difference. He had dark blue skin.)

Leslie: I thought Snarton looked weird.

Sarah: That was rude Leslie.

Leslie: What it’s true.

Sarah: No its not they just look differ -(Sarah was stopped mid sentence)

Julian: Ladies please calm down. I can explain my appearance.

Leslie: Please do!

Julian: I am what is known as a Changjon. I am from the planet Kryloon. In addition to blue skin my skin Changions skin can change color.

Chris: You said you were here for some sort of test?

Julian: Yes, I almost forgot, the test.

Matt: What kinda test are you taking?

Julian: I never said I was the one being tested.
Sarah: Who are you here to test then?

Julian: Why You my lovely The Power Rangers!

Chris: But why would we be tested by someone besides Snarton?

Julian: Snarton believes you are worthy to use your powers. But the IFOJ would like a test to be sure.

Leslie: Who are the IFOJ?

Julian: The IFOJ or Intergalactic Forces of Justice is an organization of heroes, aliens, and even a past Ranger or two, all with the idea of justice as their main objective.

Matt: What does that have to do with us?

Julian: True Snarton created you powers but he had to have idea to create new powers approved. As he is a member of the IFOJ. But we approved them so we have immediate access to them like him.

Leslie: For our test are they going to be multiple choice, short answer, or extended response?Does anyone have a No. 2 pencil I can borrow?

Julian: That is not the kinda test you will be given.

Joe: What other kinda test can be given/

Julian: A combat, teamwork, and strategy test. Will be given

Chris: Were up to this!

Julian: We can not yet.

Matt: Why not?

Julian: The test may only be done under the light of a full moon.

Sarah: There’s one of those tomorrow night !

Julian: Than tomorrow we shall do battle. But first where can I get some food?
I’m starving!

Chris: You can eat back at our base with us.

Julian: Your kindness is much appreciated.

(Meanwhile back on Saturn)

Maro: WiseCrack did you hear that?

WiseCrack: Umm No Wad did I miss Boss Man?

Maro: The Rangers are going to busy tomorrow night.

WiseCrack: So didja have plans with them before or sumpin?

Maro: No you rubber nosed baboon. Do you know what this means?
WiseCrack: That we can get a sno-cone machine!

Maro: No you Pie throwing barbarian.

WiseCrack: Then what ?

Maro: It’ll mean the city is defenseless.

WiseCrack: Why so we can steal a Sno-Cone machine!?

Maro: We are not getting a stinking Sno-Cone machine!

WiseCrack: Then what will we be doing?

Maro: We will be “borrowing” some Aquitarian steel!

WiseCrack: Why borrow it when we can steal it?

Maro: You Nimrod! that’s what I meant.

WiseCrack: Well sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry! (mumbling) You coulda just said that…

Maro: With the Aquitarian steel I can finish consruction on my monster maker!

WiseCrack: Let me guess it makes monsters right?

Maro: Precisely!

(Meanwhile back at the underwater base)

Snarton: Who is this?

Sarah: His name is Julian!

Snarton: Why is he here? Who authorized bring him here?

Chris: I did sir!

Snarton: Well whats been done is done. Why are you hear Julian?

Julian: I was sent by the IFOJ to test your rangers.

Snarton: I see I never could that darn IFOJ off my back.

Julian: They will be tested tomorrow night when the moon rises.

Snarton: Then Rangers you must study!

Matt: It isn’t that knda test Snarton.

Snarton: What kind will it be then?

Joe: Julian said it will be combat, teamwork, and strategic test.

Snarton: Oh! I see, rangers you must go to the training room. Moon rise is at 11:00 p.m. tomorrow night.
Chris: Yes Sir!

(the rangers leave)

Snarton: Come Julian I will show you around the base and to your room.

Julian: Thank you.

(they come to a big room with tables and chairs)

Snarton: This is our dining area. All food is eatin here. To order a type of food simply go to the foodtron-

(He points to a wide monitor on top of what appeared to be some sort of microwave)

Snarton: and clearly say what you want and it shall be teleported here!

Julian: Interesting!

(they walk by seven doors with numbers 1 - 7)

Snarton: These are the dormitories. Your Room shall be number six.

Julian: Thank you.

Snarton: Shall we continue on or would you like to stay and rest?

Julian: I am quite tired I believe I will rest up for tomorrow night.

Snarton: Very well then you know where the dining area is. But if there is anything else you need I’ll be in room 7. So well Good night.

Julian: Thank you.

(Snarton walks away as Julian enters his room)

To be continued….

Chapter 4 coming when I have time to write it!

p.s. when reading keep in mind this is all coming from a twelve year old