y3k
04-05-2005, 08:02 PM
Author’s note: SPD-led excavations of the old moon palace have led to few discoveries, thanks to Rita Repulsa and Lord Zedd packing up before leaving. However, a few items, including this audio journal entry of Lord Zedd, have remained, possibly forgotten as the two evacuated in a hurry. It has since been placed in the SPD Power Ranger archives. Studies indicate it was created between 1995 and 1996.
Again. I’ve lost again. Curse those meddling Power Brats! Again they defy me! No matter, I’ll destroy them next time, as I have an even more evil plan, and...
Oh hell, who am I kidding?
I used to be the most feared name in the Galaxy. I used to be an Emperor. A conqueror. I have destroyed many a ranger team before. I used to have a semi-competent army.
Now what am I reduced too? A sniveling coward, surrounded by morons. I’m out of gas. Hell, not only am I out of gas, I’m not even running my own show anymore! And worst of all, my empire has fallen to those blasted Machines!
Slowly but surly, my fortress has filled up with morons. A monster creator who is a dud, two bumbling fools, and Rita’s extended family. Even my prized warrior, Goldar, has been reduced to a blundering moron!
Why did I even marry Rita anyway? Who marries someone that they chucked into space during their last meeting? I really must be losing my marbles. Guess it makes sense. After all, I was defeated by a ranger personally just a few weeks ago, ruining by best plan ever...
Him...
I loath that White ranger! He has been the unending woe and sorrow for me since the day I destroyed his green ranger powers. No matter, most of his original team, including his bimbo of a girlfriend are gone...how much longer can he last? I mean...he can’t be a ranger forever!
...Can he?
No...I’m getting paranoid. Yet another problem. I feel as if Rita’s slowly taking control over my throne. I mean...how did I fall in love with her? I suddenly wake up, and instead of seeing her as a failed servant, I’m in love! And even more odd, she’s standing right over me! And what happens mere months later? A brother of hers shows up. Then, her father. And right now, her father is running everything.
Damn that Master Vile...
Then there’s a matter of Finster. What does Rita find in him? Sure, my monsters have seen limited success against Thunder powers designed to beat me, and all new Ninja powers...but his monster’s couldn’t even come close to beating even the old Dino powers. And each one of his damn monsters have a blasted weakness! Can’t he just build a monster WITHOUT the ability to disagree with itself? Or one WITHOUT the “magical horn” with which its powers are all located?
Goldar went from top general to a bumbling fool. He’s now no better then Squatt and Babboo! He stands there and kisses my ass, and not much else aside from stating the obvious.
Rito is an even bigger pain. He can’t get my blasted name right! It’s always “Ed” this, and “Ed” that....I’m sick of it! I would have him shoved out a space dumpster if it wasn’t for his blasted sister and father.
And there they go again. I’m beginning to think they really do run the place. Master Vile things he’s so damn better...but he’s failing just like me! Look at that globber monster, and his whole Zeo crystal plot! Didn’t work out, did it?
Then again, that makes me even less confident I can win this war.
Of course, I also Squatt and Babboo. I keep asking myself...WHY do I keep them around? They do less then Goldar! They sit around, inside a little room, and whisper...about me...
And that blasted Scorpina refuses to come out of her room...something about a 10,000 year “hibernation”. My ass.
I had the most devious plan ever. I had captured the Falconzord, Ninjor, Kimberly, AND the Pink Powercoin. I had discovered the Shogunzords, and was forcing the rangers to pilot them for me! I was draining Kimberly of her lifeforce! And what happens?
That blasted White ranger undoes all of my work! He rescues Kimberly.... breaks my staff...re-captures the Falconzord, and has our “precious” Kat steal the power coin and distract us from Tommy’s doings!
And of course, Ninjor is freed by Rito’s incompetence. Then Vile recaptures him, and everything I had worked hard for goes up in smoke.
Then there’s the fact that I have the most powerful, most advanced weapon the universe has ever seen....and not enough juice to power it to make it around the sun! It’s like its the ultimate irony, and the entire universe is laughing. Even Count Dregon.
Yes, even him. I’ve gotten a letter from him, basically one-upping me. I hate him.
Why am I still trying? I should just give up...
I should end it all...now. If I take my Staff, I can probably fire a good sized bolt into my body. Or perhaps I can take on the Rangers myself...
By Dark Specter’s wrath....I’m contemplating suicide!
What did you say, sweety?
Rita?! Get out! OUT! This is my private time!
Oh Zedd, your so melodramatic! Get out here, my father’s got a new plan!
Ed’s in there? Hey Ed! I could use some help waxing my behind, think you help? You see...
GET OFF MY YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MINION!
Oh get over it Zedd! Come, I have a plan, and I need your assistance.
Oh, Zeddy? The IRS called, why didn’t you pay the taxes? You need to get them in by the end of the week, they’re giving you a reprieve!
*a thumping sound can be heard*
Zeddy dear? Its not good to do that with your head...
Why me....why me....?
Hey, Ed? Why does that thing have a red blinking thing?
Oh bloody hell, I left this thing on!
-Transmission Cut-
Again. I’ve lost again. Curse those meddling Power Brats! Again they defy me! No matter, I’ll destroy them next time, as I have an even more evil plan, and...
Oh hell, who am I kidding?
I used to be the most feared name in the Galaxy. I used to be an Emperor. A conqueror. I have destroyed many a ranger team before. I used to have a semi-competent army.
Now what am I reduced too? A sniveling coward, surrounded by morons. I’m out of gas. Hell, not only am I out of gas, I’m not even running my own show anymore! And worst of all, my empire has fallen to those blasted Machines!
Slowly but surly, my fortress has filled up with morons. A monster creator who is a dud, two bumbling fools, and Rita’s extended family. Even my prized warrior, Goldar, has been reduced to a blundering moron!
Why did I even marry Rita anyway? Who marries someone that they chucked into space during their last meeting? I really must be losing my marbles. Guess it makes sense. After all, I was defeated by a ranger personally just a few weeks ago, ruining by best plan ever...
Him...
I loath that White ranger! He has been the unending woe and sorrow for me since the day I destroyed his green ranger powers. No matter, most of his original team, including his bimbo of a girlfriend are gone...how much longer can he last? I mean...he can’t be a ranger forever!
...Can he?
No...I’m getting paranoid. Yet another problem. I feel as if Rita’s slowly taking control over my throne. I mean...how did I fall in love with her? I suddenly wake up, and instead of seeing her as a failed servant, I’m in love! And even more odd, she’s standing right over me! And what happens mere months later? A brother of hers shows up. Then, her father. And right now, her father is running everything.
Damn that Master Vile...
Then there’s a matter of Finster. What does Rita find in him? Sure, my monsters have seen limited success against Thunder powers designed to beat me, and all new Ninja powers...but his monster’s couldn’t even come close to beating even the old Dino powers. And each one of his damn monsters have a blasted weakness! Can’t he just build a monster WITHOUT the ability to disagree with itself? Or one WITHOUT the “magical horn” with which its powers are all located?
Goldar went from top general to a bumbling fool. He’s now no better then Squatt and Babboo! He stands there and kisses my ass, and not much else aside from stating the obvious.
Rito is an even bigger pain. He can’t get my blasted name right! It’s always “Ed” this, and “Ed” that....I’m sick of it! I would have him shoved out a space dumpster if it wasn’t for his blasted sister and father.
And there they go again. I’m beginning to think they really do run the place. Master Vile things he’s so damn better...but he’s failing just like me! Look at that globber monster, and his whole Zeo crystal plot! Didn’t work out, did it?
Then again, that makes me even less confident I can win this war.
Of course, I also Squatt and Babboo. I keep asking myself...WHY do I keep them around? They do less then Goldar! They sit around, inside a little room, and whisper...about me...
And that blasted Scorpina refuses to come out of her room...something about a 10,000 year “hibernation”. My ass.
I had the most devious plan ever. I had captured the Falconzord, Ninjor, Kimberly, AND the Pink Powercoin. I had discovered the Shogunzords, and was forcing the rangers to pilot them for me! I was draining Kimberly of her lifeforce! And what happens?
That blasted White ranger undoes all of my work! He rescues Kimberly.... breaks my staff...re-captures the Falconzord, and has our “precious” Kat steal the power coin and distract us from Tommy’s doings!
And of course, Ninjor is freed by Rito’s incompetence. Then Vile recaptures him, and everything I had worked hard for goes up in smoke.
Then there’s the fact that I have the most powerful, most advanced weapon the universe has ever seen....and not enough juice to power it to make it around the sun! It’s like its the ultimate irony, and the entire universe is laughing. Even Count Dregon.
Yes, even him. I’ve gotten a letter from him, basically one-upping me. I hate him.
Why am I still trying? I should just give up...
I should end it all...now. If I take my Staff, I can probably fire a good sized bolt into my body. Or perhaps I can take on the Rangers myself...
By Dark Specter’s wrath....I’m contemplating suicide!
What did you say, sweety?
Rita?! Get out! OUT! This is my private time!
Oh Zedd, your so melodramatic! Get out here, my father’s got a new plan!
Ed’s in there? Hey Ed! I could use some help waxing my behind, think you help? You see...
GET OFF MY YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MINION!
Oh get over it Zedd! Come, I have a plan, and I need your assistance.
Oh, Zeddy? The IRS called, why didn’t you pay the taxes? You need to get them in by the end of the week, they’re giving you a reprieve!
*a thumping sound can be heard*
Zeddy dear? Its not good to do that with your head...
Why me....why me....?
Hey, Ed? Why does that thing have a red blinking thing?
Oh bloody hell, I left this thing on!
-Transmission Cut-