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Blue_Senturion
03-29-2005, 03:32 AM
Power Rangers: Space Defenders
this is my first fanfic ever so be critical, tell me flat out if it sucks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Power Rangers: Space Defenders
Season One
Episode One: A Streak of Blue. Part 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matt and Dustin drove up to the Cyber Cafe just before school to get a cup of coffee, Matt and Dustin had been best friends since Kindergarten.

they both started studying Martial Arts at the age of eight and now were excelling great in the sport.

They were starting their Senior Year at Eagle Bay High. Matt and Dustin were both fairly popular students at Easter Bay High, but this year was going to be different they were Seniors.

They just sat down at a table and Dustin noticed Caitlin walk in, "Oh great, here she comes."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Matt questioned.

"Nothing" Dustin said.

Caitlin was one of the more popular girls at Eagle Bay High, she was tall, thin and was very beautiful, she also has been friends with Matt since Kindergarten but since last year her and Matt had been going out.

"Hey Matt", "Hey Caitlin, whats up?" Matt said. "Not too much just thought I'd stop by here before school to see what's going on, doesn't look like much." "No we're just getting a coffee before we go to school" Dustin said.

Caitlin smiled at Dustin, "Oh hey Dustin, I was wondering if I could catch a ride with you Matt to school?"

Matt was caught up in thought for a moment, "Of course you can, you ready to go Dustin??"

"Yeah, let's go"

~~~~~~~

They all were looking at each other's School Schedule's on the way there an noticed they all had History together first period.

They got to class and sat down across from eachother.

There were two new students in their History class, Kendall Carter a red headed girl and her brother Justin Carter who had black hair and a medium build, they were twins and were nervous about their new surroundings.

Caitlin whispered to Matt, "Those new kids look nervous, I'm going to invite them to sit with us at lunch today."
"Why?" Matt protested.
"Because they are new and probably don't have any friends, I'll ask Kendall and you ask Justin, how would you feel coming to a new school?"
"Alright, what ever." Matt whispered.

The third class, ended and Matt went to his locker to put his books away. He saw Justin standing alone and knew Caitlin would be pissed off if he didn't ask.

"Hey Justin, I saw you in my History class."
"Oh, umm, Hey so what's your name?"
"Oh yeah, I'm Matt, do you want to sit with me and a few friends at lunch, your sister is coming."
"Yeah that would be great" Justin said.

~~~~~~~

Matt and Justin walked into the Cafiteria and saw Dustin, Caitlin and Kendall sitting at the back table by the window.

"Hey Justin, I'm Caitlin and this is Dustin"
"Hey man, sit down" Dustin said.

Suddenly a group of dark, shadow like figures started coming into the Cafiteria and throwing the Students around, the shadow like figures bared an A on their just. Then over the Intercom System the Principal announced that the school be evacuated immediately.

"We can't evacuate, we're stuck at the back" Dustin said.
"What are we going to do?" you could hear the fear in Caitlin's voice.
"We'll have to fight our way through" Matt suggested.
"Alright, I'm down with that, me and Kendall have background in Martial Arts, we should be able to handle ourselves." Justin said.

~~~~~~~

Matt charged straight into the group of shadow figures, first punching one in the face then using a spinning heel kick to knock down another one.

He then was grabbed by two other shadow figures when Justin came in and round house kicked the one in the face then Dustin came in and punched the other one in the face freeing Matt.

Then the girls got into the action, with Kendall's Martial Arts background she tore through the shadow figures like nothing but Caitlin was overwhlemed by several shadow figures shadow figures.

Kendall came over and picked up a chair, clubbed one in the face, then put the chair down, jumped up on the chair, then jumped off the chair and simultaneously kicked to shadow figures in the face causing them too release their grip and fall down.

Then Caitlin and Kendall made their way to the door where Matt, Dustin and Justin were waiting, then suddenly, a huge monster, who resembled a giant Fish, clubbed the students with it's giant fin. They all flew back and hit the floor hard.


"What are we going to do now?" Dustin said.
"I don't know, but this doesn't look good"

~~~~~~~

"You measly punks aren't a match for Fishteka"

"Your one ugly monster" Caitlin said.

"Ha ha ha ha, you won't be making jokes after I turn you into fish bait."

"We'll see about that" Justin shouted.

"Guys we all got to attack him at once if we stand a chance" Dustin implied.

"Okay guys let's do it!" Matt yelled.

They all charged but before they could even get within five feet of Fishteka he threw fish at them that explode on impact causing sparks to fly from the students chests, the students got knocked back from the impact and landed hard on the cafiteria.

~~~~~~~

The students gallantly tried to fight back but were drained from the attacks and fell to the floor.

"This is the end for you!" Fishteka shouted.

Then suddenly they heard a noise.

"Is that an engine?" Justin asked.

Then suddenly a Motorcycle burst through the cafiteria window and slammed into Fishteka's chest causing him to fall to the ground.

"Are you guys alright?" the motorcylist asked.

"Yeah we're all fine" Kendall said.

The mysterious motorcylist hopped back on his Motorcycle and fired his lasers at Fishteka.

The force of the blast caused Fishteka to fall backwards to the ground, he exploded on impact with an array of sparks.

"Wh, who are you?" Matt asked.

"I used to be a Power Ranger, my name is..."

to be continued...

~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Power Rangers: Space Defenders
Season One
Episode One: A Streak of Blue. Part 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I used to be a Power Ranger, my name is Billy Cranston."

"Wow, a Power Ranger, I always thought those were just a myth" Justin said.

"What do these things want with us" Caitlin asked.

"Well I've been tracking your progress since you all were in Kindergarten for a new Power Rangers team called the Space Defenders."

"Is this for real?" Matt asked.

"Yes this isn't a joke, now I need to know right now, are you willing to put your lives on hold to defend the Universe and become Power Rangers?

"I'm in" Matt said without hesitation.

"Me too" Justin said.

"How about you Dustin, are you in?" Billy asked.

"Well this was supposed to be my big year, as a Senior, but if it's for defending the Universe, I guess I'm in."

"How 'bout you girls, Kendall?" Billy asked.

"Well if my brother is going, I have to go too, can't leave a twin alone."

"Last one, how about you Caitlin, are you willing to sacrifice your popularity to defend the Universe?" Billy asked.

"Well, of course I am, I'm not a snobby little bitch."

~~~~~~~

"Okay then let's go my space ship the Astro Megaship Mark III is outside we have to fly to Aquitar."

"You guys this is crazy, one minute we're eating lunch in the caf' the next were fighting... what are those things called Billy?

"Those are called Deep Space Warriors, of Lord Congrin's Evil Empire."

"Lord Congrin? Who is he?" Justin asked.

"He's the ruler of the planet Jenghar and has been trying to take over Earth for decades now, teenagers like yourself have been using morphers to morph into Power Rangers to defend the Earth from Congrin and his evil empire, but now he has taken his attention off Earth and onto Aquitar."

"Sounds very complicated" Caitlin said.

"I need to show you guys your morphers and how to use them, you'll be needing them soon" Billy said.

~~~~~~~

"These are your Space Defender Morphers, all you have to do is press the number, 224 and the morphing call and you will morph into Power Rangers." Billy explained.

"What's the morphing call?" Dustin asked.

"Defenders of Space" Billy said.

"You also have Zords, which are giant vehicles that will assist you in battle."

"Now here's your Morpher's" Billy said.

"Matt Lofton, you are the leader of the Space Defender team, you are the Blue Space Defender Ranger, your zord is the Blue Falcon Zord." Billy said.

"Wicked!" Matt shouted.

"Dustin Rodriguez, you are the Red Space Defender Ranger, your zord is the Red Lion Zord" Billy said.

"Kick ass!" Dustin said.

"Justin Carter, you are the Green Space Defender Ranger, your zord is the Green Rhino Zord" Billy said.

"Way cool" Justin said,

"Kendall Carter, you are the Yellow Space Defender Ranger, your zord is the Yellow Gorilla Zord" Billy said.

"Awesome" Kendall said.

"And Caitlin, you are the Pink Space Defender Ranger, your zord is the Pink Panther Zord" Billy said.

"How cute pink" Caitlin said.

"Those are your morphers don't forget your morphing call and code." Billy said.

~~~~~~~

"HELP! We can't hold them off there's too many of them, please send assistance!" was heard over the Astro Megaship's Internal Intercom System.

"What was that?" Justin questioned.

"A distress call from Aquitar we need to get there fast, Alpha 8.0 go into warp speed" Billy said.

"Ay yi yi yi yi" Alpha shouted.

"Get ready gang, were almost there" Billy said.

~~~~~~~

END

Episode 2 to come if any interest(which I doubt)

TOK-715
03-29-2005, 03:34 AM
There's some potentional, I stopped reading because the style of writing bored me, sorry... I'm just being honest.
There's too much grammar & spelling errors :\

BlueFireStorm
03-29-2005, 11:39 AM
I agree, it has great potential to be an awesome fan fiction. The plot of the story sounds great.

Blue_Senturion
03-29-2005, 12:43 PM
There's some potentional, I stopped reading because the style of writing bored me, sorry... I'm just being honest.
There's too much grammer & spelling errors :\

I really didn't notice any spelling errors, maybe a few missing commas here and there, do you have any tips to improve my writing style?

TOK-715
03-29-2005, 03:51 PM
I really didn't notice any spelling errors, maybe a few missing commas here and there, do you have any tips to improve my writing style?
If you don't notice it then run a spelling & grammar check on Microsoft word XP or 2003.

Blue_Senturion
03-29-2005, 05:35 PM
Episode two will be posted sometime tonight, improvements will be made from episode one.

Blue_Senturion
03-29-2005, 08:38 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Power Rangers: Space Defenders
Season One
Episode Two: Space Defenders Take Form
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Rangers were approaching Aquitar at Warp Speed. “Get ready guys were approaching the Aquitar atmosphere we’ll be setting down in under 5 minutes.” Billy said.

“Okay, what do we do when we get their Billy?” Matt asked as he was the leader of the group.

“First we’ll check the status of the Planet then I’ll contact some old friends of mine, because there are too many Deep Space Warriors for you guys to handle, and I have a feeling they are not alone.”

The Astro Megaship Mark III, set down on Aquitar, in a city called Aquitar City, the capital of Aquitar.

“Okay guys, it’s up to you now, meet back at The Command Center when you defeat the Dark Shadow Warriors.” Billy said.

“How will we know where to find this, Command Center” Justin asked.

“When you morph, there will be communicators in your helmets, I will be able to talk to you during battle at all times if you need any help, may the Power protect you.”

~~~~~~~

Billy then went back into the Astro Megaship Mark III and lifted off and flew away leaving the Power Rangers alone for the first time.

Suddenly a hoard of Deep Space Warriors charged at the Rangers, there were hundreds of them being lead by a Elephant like monster. All the Rangers could to was fight.

“Okay guys, we can do this, on 3, 1, 2, 3” Matt shouted.

Then all the Rangers at once charged into the hoard of Deep Space Warriors.

Kendall laid a punishing kick on one of the DSW causing him to disintegrate on impact.

“Hey guys these thing are pretty weak, we can handle them” Kendall said triumphantly.

Then Dustin got into the act with a flurry of punches on several DSW, causing them all to disintegrate. He then flipped over the back of one DSW, and slammed a punishing kick on the side of another DSW, head.

When he landed though he was kicked in the chest and flipped to the ground and groaned in pain.

~~~~~~~

Matt took notice of this and came over and did a spinning heel kick to one DSW, and a flood of punches to another.

Then out of nowhere Caitlin was hit in the chest by a laser beam shot out of the elephant monster’s trunk causing her to fly back on to the ground in severe pain.

All the Rangers ran to her side, “are you alright Caitlin?” Justin asked, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Then a group of 20 DSW surrounded the Rangers and the elephant monster who’s name was Trunktacon started charging up his trunk for the ultimate laser blast.

“There’s only one thing we can do guys.” Dustin said.

“Okay guys let’s do it!” Matt yelled.

~~~~~~~

“Blue Falcon Ranger, Defender of Space!” Matt shouted.

A Blue Falcon flew around Matt’s body then stopped in front of him. Then the Falcon flew through the center of Matt’s chest. Then a beam of Blue energy busted out from his chest and Matt’s Blue Power Ranger suit appeared on his body with a Falcon in the middle of his chest.

Matt looked down at his body, “Wow, this is for real.”

“Red Lion Ranger, Defender of Space!” Dustin shouted.

A Red Lion flew around Dustin’s body and went through the center of his chest. Then a beam of Red energy busted out from his chest and Dustin’s Red Power Ranger suit appeared on his body with a Lion in the middle of his chest.

“Green Rhino Ranger, Defender of Space!” Justin shouted.

A Green Rhino flew around Justin’s body and went through the center of his chest. Then a beam of Green energy shot out from his chest and Justin’s Green Power Ranger suit appeared on his body with a Rhino in the middle of his chest.

“Pretty Pink Ranger morph!” shouted Caitlin.

“Why the hell isn’t it working?” Caitlin exclaimed with rage.

“It’s like this you blonde girl” Kendall said.

“Yellow Gorilla Ranger, Defender of Space!” Kendall shouted as she shot a look at Caitlin.

A Yellow Gorilla flew around Kendall’s body and went through the center of her chest. Then a beam of Yellow energy shot out from her chest and Kendall’s Yellow Power Ranger suit appeared on her body with a Gorilla in the middle of her chest.

“You get it now Caitlin, you’ve only seen it what. 4 times now” Kendall said with a smirk on her face,

“Yeah I get it now, you ass, Pink Panther Ranger, Defender of Space!” Caitlin shouted.

A Pink Panther flew around Caitlin’s body and went through the center of her chest. Then a beam of Pink energy shot out from her chest and Caitlin’s Pink Power Ranger suit appeared on her body with a Panther in the middle of her chest.

Then they all shouted at once “Power Rangers, Defenders of Space!”

They each had a small blaster pistol on the side of their belts in a holster which were called Intergalactic Blasters.

~~~~~~~

“Okay guys could job, now take them out!” Billy said over the communicators in the Rangers helmets.

Matt whipped out his Intergalactic Blaster and started firing taking down several DSW.

“Guys you stay here and try to defeat the DSW, I’ll get Trunktacon” Matt said over the helmet communicator.

“But Matt you can’t handle him by yourself, you’ll get crushed” Justin said back.

“I know what I’m doing Justin, you do your job I’ll do mine” Matt said.

“What ever then” Justin sighed and continued to battle the DSW’s with his Intergalactic Blaster.

Matt caught Trunktacon from behind and nailed him with a flurry of punches and kick causing him to stumble to the ground.

Trunktacon then got to his feet and hit Matt across the head with his trunk causing Matt to crash to the ground.

Trunktacon then started charging up his trunk for a blow that would destroy Matt.

“Matt quickly call on your Power Defender Weapon before he destroys you” Billy said urgently over the helmet communicator.

“Power Defender Falcon Shield” the shield formed in his right hand. It was a shield shaped like a Falcon, with 2 wings coming out of the center for extra protection.

~~~~~~~

The blast from Trunktacon’s trunk came straight at Matt, just as it was about to hit him his Falcon Shield was summoned and blocked the blast in a burst of sparks.

“Woo that’s awesome” Matt mumbled.

The other Rangers came to Matt’s aid after the finished the last of the DSW’s off.

“Are you all right Matt?” Caitlin asked.

“Yeah I’m fine, my Power Defender weapon saved me.”

“Billy, how are we supposed to defeat Trunktacon?” Justin questioned.

“You must all call on your Power Defender Weapons and combine them to form the Magna Space Defender Cannon.”

“Okay guys let’s do it, call on your Power Defender weapons.” Dustin said.

“Power Defender Lion Sword” Dustin shouted, the sword appeared in his hands. It was a long, thick sword, with a Red Lion’s head at the base of the handle with.

“Power Defender Rhino Rifle” Justin shouted, a long powerful rifle appeared in Justin’s hands, it was shaped in the form of a Rhino’s horn and the trigger could only be pulled by the person who possessed the Green Space Defender Ranger powers.

“Power Defender Gorilla Grips” Kendall shouted, two enormous fists appeared on her hands that had the force of a Gorilla.

“Power Defender Dual Panther Blasters” Caitlin shouted, “Hey I’m getting the hang of this”. Two very powerful blasters appeared in her hands that possessed the force of the Panther.

“Power Defender Weapons combine” the Ranger shouted simultaneously.

Then the Gorilla Grips, Rhino Rifle, Dual Panther Blasters, Lion Sword and Falcon Shield combined to form the Magna Space Defender Cannon.

They all held the Magna Space Defender Cannon together with Dustin at the front holding the barrel and Matt at the trigger.

~~~~~~~

“Magna Space Defender Fire!” Matt shouted.

A huge burst of green, red, yellow, pink and red energy blasted out of the Magna Space Defender Cannon and hit Trunktacon directly in the chest making him fall back and hit the ground being destroyed.

“Yeah we did it!” Matt congratulated his former Rangers.

“Foolish children, they think that’s all I’ve got well how about we give them a bit bigger version of Trunktacon, mu hu hu hu ha ha ha.” Lord Congrin said with an evil laugh.

“Choku my minion, make Trunktacon grow!” Congrin said.

A blast of lightning hit Trunktacon causing him to grow into a giant monster.

“Uh oh, that can’t be good” Kendall said.

~~~~~~~

“Matt what should we do?” Justin asked.

“Call on our zords, there our only hope” Matt said.

“Blue Falcon” Matt called on his zord first.

“Red Lion”

“Green Rhino”

“Yellow Gorilla”

“Pink Panther”

The Blue Falcon zord came flying through sky and Matt jumped up and teleported into the cockpit.

The other Rangers did the same for their zords.

Matt flew straight at Trunktacon and fired a flurry of missiles that had no effect on the giant elephant monster.

Dustin went and jumped at Trunktacon’s leg and clamped onto it with his mouth, but Trunktacon picked up the Red Lion Zord and threw him across the city.

~~~~~~~

“Billy, nothing is working we can’t touch him.” Matt said.

“Combine your zords to form the Space Defender Megazord.” Billy said.

“Alright guys let’s do it” Matt shouted.

“Space Defender Zords combine” the Ranger shouted.

The Yellow Gorilla zord folded to form the legs of the Space Defender Megazord, then the Green Rhino Zord attached to form the right arm of the Megazord with it’s horn that you could use as a weapon. The Red Lion then attached as the left arm and the Blue Falcon zord attached in the final morphing sequence to form the head of the Space Defender Megazord.

“Call on the Megazord Power Sword and finish him” Billy said over the Megazord’s communication system.

“Megazord Power Sword” Matt shouted.

“Black Hole Slash” Matt shouted again.

Then a black hole formed around Trunktacon freezing him in place, he was immobile. Then the Megazord jumped in the air and came down with a punishing slash to Trunktacons chest destroying the monster.

“All right we did it” Justin said.

“Yeah woo hoo” Kendall yelled.

“Come on back to the Command Center, looks like I was mistaken in you guys needing help, great work Rangers” Billy told them.

~~~~~~~

“Great job out there today guys you are really starting to look like Power Rangers” Billy congratulated them all.

“There’s one thing though, this is going to have to be the focus of your current life right now, and you will have to stay on Aquitar to defend Earth and the rest of the Universe. Are you all willing to stay here because I can go and find new Rangers if the pressure is too much”

“Well, I think we’re all in Billy, if it means staying here to protect Earth, our families and the Universe, we don’t even need to think about it.” Matt said.

“Okay great guys, now go get some rest.” Billy said.

“Those damn Power Rangers ruined my plans, this will be the last time they mess with Lord Congrin and my Evil Empire.”

~~~~~~~~

To be continued in episode 3.

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 03:29 PM
New episode should be up later on today, :023:

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 04:12 PM
I'm curious, I see alot of views but no replies, is anyone reading this, if so leave a reply. :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

TOK-715
03-30-2005, 04:26 PM
Sorry, i've been reading it, not all of it - just enough to make an opinion.
But I figure that if I don't have anything nice to say it's best to not say anything at all since I've already shared my critism.

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 04:39 PM
Sorry, i've been reading it, not all of it - just enough to make an opinion.
But I figure that if I don't have anything nice to say it's best to not say anything at all since I've already shared my critism.

If you think it sucks than say how it sucks then I can try to improve on that area of my writing.

TOK-715
03-30-2005, 04:41 PM
What are you writing it with Blue_Senturion?

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 04:47 PM
What are you writing it with Blue_Senturion?
Microsoft Works,

Other than the spelling(which I think is alright in Ep 2 if you read it) and grammar is the story alright?

TOK-715
03-30-2005, 04:54 PM
Works? I hated works
Well, heres what you wrote:

The Rangers were approaching Aquitar at Warp Speed. “Get ready guys were approaching the Aquitar atmosphere and will be setting down in under 5 minutes.” Billy said.

“Okay, what do we do when we get their Billy?” Matt asked as he was the leader of the group.

“First we’ll check the status of the Planet then I’ll contact some old friends of mine, because there are too many Deep Space Warriors for you guys to handle, and I have a feeling they are not alone.”

The Astro Megaship Mark III, set down on Aquitar, in a city called Aquitar City, the capital of Aquitar.

“Okay guys, it’s up to you now, meet back at The Command Center when you defeat the Dark Shadow Warriors.” Billy said.

“How will we know where to find this, Command Center” Justin asked.

“When you morph, there will be communicators in your helmets, I will be able to talk to you during battle at all times if you need any help, may the Power protect you.”



And I rewrote it to my liking, but I can't speak for everyone:


The Rangers were approaching Aquitar at Warp Speed.
“Get ready guys we're approaching the planet's atmosphere we’ll be setting down in under 5 minutes.” Billy said.
“Okay, what do we do when we get their Billy?” Matt asked since he was the leader.
“First we’ll check the status of the Planet then I’ll contact some old friends of mine because there are too many Deep Space Warriors to handle, and I have a feeling they’re not alone.”
The Astro Megaship Mark III then landed in a city called, “Aquitar City”, the capital of planet Aquitar.
“Okay guys - it’s up to you now, let’s meet back at the command center when you have defeated the Dark Shadow Warriors,” Billy suggests.
“And just how will we find this ‘Command Center’?” Justin asked.
“When you’re morphed there will be navigator on your visor screens. I will remain in communication with you guys at all times if you need help. Now - may the Power protect you,” Billy replied.

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 04:57 PM
Works? I hated works
Well, heres what you wrote:



And I rewrote it to my liking, but I can't speak for everyone:
So you added a few quotations and one line. I was missing those so that made you hate the story? :confused: :confused:

TOK-715
03-30-2005, 04:59 PM
and I rewrote some of your lines, a lot of your sentences were... I don't want to be mean, but smut to me.
For example you used the word "Aquitar" too many times. Well, it's just my opinion that your choice of words bore me.

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 05:05 PM
I said it a total of 6 times, OMFG THAT IS SO FUCKIN MUCH

TOK-715
03-30-2005, 05:06 PM
this is why I didn't say anything at first, I didn't want to bother getting into a debate over why I dislike your story. Ignore what I said then and carry on, good luck.

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 05:11 PM
this is why I didn't say anything at first, I didn't want to bother getting into a debate over why I dislike your story. Ignore what I said then and carry on, good luck.
Sorry I was just pissed, one last question. Do you hate the whole story line of my story or just my wrting style and choice of words?

TOK-715
03-30-2005, 05:13 PM
Your writing style and choice of words. I've said it before, I think your storyline has potential. It's just capturing an audience and keeping them wrapped into the story may be difficult but you'll learn.

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 05:20 PM
Your writing style and choice of words. I've said it before, I think your storyline has potential. It's just capturing an audience and keeping them wrapped into the story may be difficult but you'll learn.
Thats what I said, I agreed my style needs improvement, I asked for tips but all you said was
and I rewrote some of your lines, a lot of your sentences were... I don't want to be mean, but smut to me.
So please some tips.

TOK-715
03-30-2005, 05:24 PM
No, I responded like that when you said I only added a few quotes and whatever.

Tips? Read over your story before posting, if that doesn't help try reading it out loud and or have someone else edit it for you.
I usually rewrite my chapters 2 - 3 times before I post it online because after each time going through it, some of the bad wording begins catching my eye.
Post a chapter weekly, take your time on editting.
Use a dictionary and a thesaurus if you need to, I go to'em when I feel stuck.

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 05:35 PM
No, I responded like that when you said I only added a few quotes and whatever.

Tips? Read over your story before posting, if that doesn't help try reading it out loud and or have someone else edit it for you.
I usually rewrite my chapters 2 - 3 times before I post it online because after each time going through it, some of the bad wording begins catching my eye.
Post a chapter weekly, take your time on editting.
Use a dictionary and a thesaurus if you need to, I go to'em when I feel stuck.

Okay thanks a heap, I've been rushing through these first 2 eps because I was so anxious to get them out there. I'll take more time on the 3rd episode and I might edit epidodes 1 and 2. I'll also try to find an editor.

TOK-715
03-30-2005, 05:44 PM
Yeah cool it down, I've posted Chapters 1 - 5 already, but Ive finished up to Chapter 7 and started 8. I'm just waiting until next week to release 6 because I wanna see how I turn out with the next few, and it gives me time to go over them again before I post them.

Shinryu
03-30-2005, 06:42 PM
Your 2nd episode is better than the first, you are improving and you have a good idea, just need to practice more to develop your own style of writing and catch the trick about it. The Pink Panther was funny...

Blue_Senturion
03-30-2005, 11:41 PM
Check out the Rangers:
http://www.geocities.com/senturion1/SpaceDefenders-Rangers.JPG
Blue Ranger(Leader): Matt Lofton, Zord-Blue Falcon Zord
Red Ranger: Dustin Rodriguez, Zord-Yellow Red Zord
Pink Ranger: Caitlin Smith, Zord-Pink Panther Zord
Yellow Ranger: Kendall Carter, Zord-Yellow Gorilla Zord
Green Ranger: Justin Carter. Zord-Green Rhino Zord

Also check out my site:
Senturion's Universe (http://www.geocities.com/senturion1/index.html)