GreenNinja
03-24-2005, 08:29 PM
I know that ZM2T stopped fivers, but I'm feeling up to speed, dowloaded Sam Parts 1 & 2, and compiled this fiver to give to you fans out there. I have credentials for comedy (Teen Titans: The Apprentice, big hit at another message board), so give me a chance...
or I'll send Mora to live at your place for a week!
Power Rangers SPD
Episode 13x7-8 "Sam"
Guy Who Fiver’d It: GreenNinja
*Basketball Court in the ‘Hood of New Tech City*
*Sam walks up, and sees a group of kids playing a game of B-ball*
Sam: Hey guys? Can I play?
Kid: No.
Sam: You might not want to say that. You might cause me to have some kid-angst and start talking to dolls…
Kid: I said no!
*Sam holds out his hand, and makes the basketball disappear. It reappears on top of a cat, which promptly screeches*
Kid: Freak!
Bee-Head Kid: Freak!
Sam: But don’t you have a…
Bee-Head Kid: FREAK!
*Sam walks away, and sees a creepy-looking doll sitting on the bench*
Doll: ‘Ello. Oi’m Cindy Sunshine? Do you want to play?
Sam: Why’s a doll with an accent crisis talking to me? I told them it would happen…
---------------------------------------
*Scene: Gruumm’s Evil Flying Ship of Doom*
*Scene: Mora’s creepy little girl’s bedroom…of doom!”
Mora: I want more dolls, but Gruumm says he’s spending the money on more “important purchases!” Bwah! Like his issues of Playboy are important! Fine, I’ll make something so daddy pays attention to me!
*Mora draws a monster. He looks like a cross between a bird, a tiki idol, and something out of Dr. Seuss, but speaks in a deep raspy voice*
Bugglesworth: Hello! I’m Bugglesworth! Is my voice high-pitched enough for you?
Mora: No.
*hands Bugglesworth a helium balloon*
Now make it!
---------------------------------------
*At SPD Headquarters*
*Bridge is standing on his head, Syd is videotaping herself with a webcam, and everyone else is standing around watching Syd*
Bridge: All this being upside down and looking at Sydney’s Down Under has given me an idea…we have powers, we’re Power Rangers. Is there some connection between our abilities and Ranger powers?
Sky: Disney…
Bridge: What I’m saying is, is there some greater cosmic reason?
Tori: Good point. Are we in a comic book, animated by some crazed fan?
Z: Listen, I’m just getting out of this so I can go look for fanboys to admire me, given that I’ve show almost no personality in the first few episodes.
Sky: Freak!
Bee-Head Kid: Freak!
Sigmund Freud: Now, Mr. Tate, tell me about your father…
Kat: We’ve got a giant toy attacking the city!
Cruger: And get out of here…I need to get some surgery done on my nose…
*Jack and the others Ranger Up*
---------------------------------------
*In the City*
Z: Watch this!
*Z opens her shirt, the light reflects from her chest onto Bugglesworth’s Zord*
Bugglesworth: Shiny!
Sky: Eat lea…lasers!
Blue Delta Runner: Zap!
Green Delta Runner: Wrap!
Jack: Watch for our Tonka Toys of Doom! Sword!
Z: Wait, who’s that kid?
Haley Joel Osment: I see dead people…
Sky: No, the other kid…
Sam: ZAP!
Z: Wait! I want your autograph! I loved The Sixth Sense!
---------------------------------------
*SPD HQ*
Cruger: It seems we lost an entire office. Have they been downsized? Or did it just disappear?
Jack: Yeah, and dogs can talk…
Cruger: Shut your mouth, cadet, ‘cause I’ll kick your rear when I…
Jack: The building did disappear. And all of us, not just Bridge can attest to that…
Bridge: Pretty colors…
Cruger: And where is Z at the moment? I don’t see her nipples around here as I usually do…
Sky: She ran off after Haley Joel Osment…something about an autograph…
---------------------------------------
*In the ‘Hood of New Tech City*
Don of the Kid Mafia: I wants youse to show these guyses what you can do, to keep Michael Jackson away from us…
Bee-Head Kid: FreaK!
Z: Obey me and my energy orbs, back away from the kid! I’ll have to get his autograph since I lost Osment… Now, I just want to talk to you about your powers? Can you see dead people?
Sam: No?
Krybots: LEAP!
Sam: ZAP!
*Sam, Bugglesworth, and the Krybots vanish*
Jack on Radio: Z, we’ve found the building.
Z: If you make me lose that autograph, I’ll kill you! But okay…
---------------------------------------
*The building is half-buried in the sand as the Rangers overlook it*
Jack: Amazing!
Syd: Incredible!
Sky: Unbelievable!
Z: Awesome!
Bridge: Shiny!
---------------------------------------
*Inside the building, where a red stapler is noticeable sitting on one of the desks*
Syd: This is weird. It’s like a ghost…office…building…something.
Z: Now you see why I wanted that autograph?
*Z trips over something. Canned laughter appears in the background*
Z: Look, Syd, a Barbie doll! Just like you! Bridge, what can you make of these?
*Bridge grabs the female doll, and touches it in the crotch as he gets a flashback*
---------------------------------------
*Flashback!*
Bugglesworth: A building! Look, it’s all Japanese people on the first floor! I’ll get Mora these for now, and the black people on the second floor later! ZAP!
People: GAK!
---------------------------------------
*Mora’s room…of doom!*
Bugglesworth: Mora, are you happy?
Mora: Do I look happy, biatch? I wants me some peoples, but you only bring me Asian peoples? Go out and get them, o’ I’ll get out the Raid can! Don’ think I won’t!
Bugglesworth: Yes, Mora…
---------------------------------------
*SPD HQ*
Z: It was the kid controlling Bugglesworth’s robot…
Sky: Z, you’ve been out in the cold too long…I can tell.
Syd: Isn’t it warm?
Sky: Don’t ruin it!
Z: He also stopped some Krybots. I think we have a kid with powers…just like us!
Kat: Bugglesworth’s back. You know what to do…
---------------------------------------
*In the city, again*
Delta Squad Megazord: MEGAZORD!
Bugglesworth’s Robot: ZAP!
Megazord: Leap!
Sky: Let’s try the cuffs…
BR: Zap!
Jack: Darn it, I’m in the cuffs…again.
Bugglesworth: Now with you trapped, I can fulfill Mistress Mora’s wishes! So long!
Z: Look, it’s that kid again! I want that autograph, darnit!
*Z leaps from the Zord, racing after Sam*
Megazord: Sword!
Bugglesworth: Dig!
Bridge: Did we lose him again? I wasn’t paying attention…
---------------------------------------
*In the ‘Hood*
Z: Wait! I WANT – THAT – AUTOGRAPH!
---------------------------------------
*In a park!*
Sam: So, as I was saying, life is like a box of chocolates…
Cindy Sunshine: I don’t want to hear your blasted impression!
Z: ZAP!
Cindy: Thank you!
Z: I just want to talk to you. I’m also an obscure actor, but I can get more jobs than a kid. Watch…
*Z multiplies herself. Sam looks shocked*
Z: So, since we’re both freaks…
Bee-Head Kid: FREAKS!
Z: Can we be friends?
Jack: Hey, Z! We were looking for you!
Sam: There’s more of you?
*Sam tosses trash cans at the Rangers, but hits Bulk and Skull*
Bulk: Why do I keep getting myself into this?
---------------------------------------
*SPD HQ*
*Bridge is holding Cindy Sunshine in his hands, touching her crotch as he meditates*
Bridge: He’s down at a junkyard…and I saw a river and the word gold…
Sky: Holy Clue Batman, it must be Gold’s Junkyard down by the river!
Batman: You’re right Boy Wonder! Now let’s be off!
---------------------------------------
*Gruumm’s ship*
Mora: Look what they did to my dolly! Can you buy me a new one daddy? Please please please please please?
Gruumm: Do you want to be a child with a scary stage mom again? Then get out of my sight!
*Mora starts crying*
Broodwing: Here’s an Orangehead, send it out to Toys ‘R’ us so you can get more dolls.
Mora: Thank you!
---------------------------------------
*Gold’s Junkyard*
Sam: *singing* I’m all alone, there’s no one here beside me…I’m on my own…
Z: Sam! I want to show you something?
Jack: And it’s not what you think she’s going to show you…
Z: This is Jack, he’s a friend of mine…he has powers too…
*Jack moves over to a vat that says DANGEROUS CHEMICALS and molecularizes his head through. When his head comes up, it is on fire*
Jack: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Jack runs around screaming like a girl*
Z: Forget that. We want you to come with us…
Bugglesworth: He’s comin’ with me, missy!
Orange Head: The kid’s coming with me!
Darth Vader: Sam, I am your father…
*Jack and Z Ranger up*
Z: Hyah!
Orange Head: Hyah!
Jack: Blasters!
Orange Head: Zap!
Jack: He’s tough…
Z: Au-to-graph!
Bugglesworth: Will you be quiet! We still have a part 2 to get to!
---------------------------------------
PART 2
Z: Give me that autograph!
Orange Head: No! Watch my mastery of CGI! ZAP!
*Jack and Z fall down to the brilliant, shiny orange light*
Bridge: SHINY!
*The other Rangers show up*
Sky: He doesn’t seem too tough for a spiky, CGI-intensive-attack guy…
Jack: You haven’t been Pwned by him yet…
Bugglesworth: Let’s go back to Mora before I get the Raid again…
Sam: ZAP!
---------------------------------------
*A cliff…somewhere*
Z: Help, I’m going to fall off of this really short cliff!
Jack: I’ve got you Z! Product-Placed Patrol Cycle!
Orange Head: And I’ve got CGI! ZAP!
---------------------------------------
*Mora’s Room*
Sam: I’m bored. Do you have any action figures? These dolls are just too girly…
Mora: Well…
*Hands Sam a MagiRed figure*
Sam: Never mind…
Mora: I need an SPD doll…
Sam: You want Syd?
Mora: Syd, Z, it doesn’t matter…just get me them, or I bring out the Raid!
Sam: You must be confusing me for the bee-headed kid…
---------------------------------------
*SPD HQ*
Sky: Bridge, why are you undressing that female doll?
Bridge: Uhh…I can’t believe these were people? ‘Cause when they were, I totally would’ve done her…
Sky: If we don’t hurry up, we all may be plastic…
Syd: I already am…you just have to look at these….
*Syd motions to her chest*
Jack: And there’s also Spiky McOrangeHead.
Z: Sam’s the key…to me completing my autograph collection. Oh, and the case as well.
Sky: No, he was too friendly with Bugglesbubblesworth there…Bridge, thoughts?
Bridge: I think he’s thinking what we’re thinking they’re thinking and that we think he thinks they think…I think.
*Z gets up, and starts going into a soap-opera style breakdown*
Z: What is it with our powers? Why can’t he help?
Sky: Calm down, girl. What’s the deal?
Z: He reminds me of me. I remember when I was twelve…
Bridge: Flashbacks, shiny!
Z: In school, I was called freak, and nipple girl, so many hurtful names! Morbo was more popular than I was!
Morbo: Well, what can I say about the police girl and her strange genetic abilities? Heh heh heh…humanity will suffer!
Z: I would use my powers to run away while my stunt double was stumped with math! And I had nothing! Nothing to my name! I wanted to learn how DNA worked so I could be normal! I…
I remember that I ran away to Tony Hawk’s Dangerous Skate Park, where I ran into an obsessed fan! He was chased away, though, by some mysterious cloaked figure…holding what I think was a Spiral Saber…
*A naked Andros, covering his goodies, runs across the screen, ranting and raving*
Also, I lost the necklace that my father had given to me. It was shaped like a “Z…” which means that either he knew it was short for Elizabeth, or that I’m the daughter of Lord Zedd. Whatever the fanwank agrees on.
Syd: Wow, that was a great, if scary flashback.
Jack: Did you find who cloak-guy was?
Cruger: That was me. I’d stolen Andros’ cloak and Saber while he was out for a walk so I could scare that obsessed fan even more…oh, and I found your necklace. Here you go! Now, who wants to hear about their powers?
Bridge: Me, me!
Cruger: Okay, all your parents were in SPD.
Jack: My parents were missionaries…
Syd: My mom was a teacher…who was highly overpaid because she and the principal…anyway, that’s how we can pay for the upgrade to RIC 3.0
Cruger: No, no, no! That was all just to make you think your parents weren’t Special Police – then we’d enter into a whole ‘nother realm of clichés….anyway…
In 2001, your parents were working on a Generic Science Project and working with Generic Dangerous Chemicals, which altered their DNA, and the powers were passed on to you. Kat wasn’t affected, because she’s an alien and therefore immune. Oh, and she’s 147.
Jack: GAHH!
Cruger: Looking good, huh? Anyway, this is what led both to your powers and intense amount of fanwank theorizing. Sam’s parents were also there…he’s the last one. Now, go find him before Kat kicks you all in the tush…
*A montage plays by. In it, we see Syd asking guys, Z asking guys in exchange for opening her shirt, Bridge asking a Fernovian, Sky getting slapped in the face, and Jack wearing a clock around his neck*
---------------------------------------
*In the Abandoned Warehouse District*
Z: Sam! There you are!
Sam: Why are you wearing Kira’s clothes?
*A naked Kira runs across the screen, ranting and raving as wolf whistles call out*
Z: Listen, there’s things I’d like to show you…some of which would anger the censors.
Cindy Sunshine: As if you haven’t ticked them off already…
Bugglesworth: Get her, or I’ll be Raided!
Z: Go on, do it! I can always be played by footage of Jasmine! Take me!
Sam: No, I don’t speak Japanese! Stay here Z!
Bugglesworth: Forget it!
Cindy: Get him!
Bugg: Hyah!
Z: Hyah!
Bugg: Zap!
Z: Crash!
Bugg: Gotcha!
Sam: NOOOO!!!
*Z is turned into a doll*
Kira: NOOOO!!!! Now I can never get these clothes back on!
---------------------------------------
Mora: Yes, I have the doll! And when I sell it to the horny fanboys on the Internet, I’ll be rich!
Gruumm: Z? I’ll have it! She’s so hooottt….
Mora: But my money!
Gruumm: Forget it!
*The Z Doll vanishes*
Gruumm: NOOOO!!!
Mora: Have to love the dramatic irony, don’t you?
---------------------------------------
Sam: Z? But I thought you were…?
Z: That was my clone! I guess you didn’t see my flashback earlier.
Sam: I understand now. I’ll help people from now on. How’d you get back in your uniform?
*Kira runs across the screen, horny fanboys on her tail*
Orange Head: Listen, I need to create tension here…GAHHH!
Krybots: Grab!
Z: No…Hyah!
*Z multiplies herself, the three of them attacking*
Orange Head: I want to fight, but…this has always been a fantasy of mine…
*A Blue Head is summoned*
Blaster: Zap!
Jack: Z, we’ve arrived to leaven the dramatic tension. Why are you using your ability again? SO hot……
Z: Okay, there’s only one of me now.
*They Ranger up*
Sky: Hyah!
Syd: Hyah!
Bridge: Hyah!
Krybots: GAK!
Z: Krybots, how’d you like to see my energy orbs?
*A sphere of energy encloses around the disappointed Krybots, who go GAK*
Jack: I know wire-fu!
Blue Head: Want to do a CGI-intensive fight?
Jack: Sure!
*A CGI-intensive laser-fight takes place*
Blue Head: GAK!
Orange Head: Nice, but let’s see you combat stronger CGI!
Rangers: Ouch!
Z: I’m calling in RIC, it’s getting too late into the episode…
Jack: Time for the bone!
Syd: Jack, are you coming on to me?
*RIC transforms into a cannon*
Orange Head: ZAP!
RIC: ZAP!
Orange Head: GAK!
Bugglesworth: Let’s go already! I still have to be killed!
Z: Megazord!
Megazord: MEGAZORD!
*It suddenly starts raining*
Sky: Why now? The Megazord’s gonna get rusty!
Buggleswoth: ZAP!
Megazord: Roll!
Bugglesworth: Where’d they go? I almost killed them! Darn you Disney!
Megazord: SWORD! CUT!
Z: Judgment Time!
SPD Morpher: Guilty, dude!
Megazord: ZAP!
Bugglesworth’s Robot: GAK!
Jack: Hold it there! Don’t forget what else Disney makes us do to you!
Containment Card: WHOOSH!
Mora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
---------------------------------------
*SPD HQ*
People-Dolls: Whoosh!
Boom: So, Kat, now that the dolls are gone, how about if I put my Ken in your dollhouse?
Kat: Forget it.
---------------------------------------
*Some room we’ve never seen before*
Sam: Look at me! I’m revving the handle on my bike in a way that may or may not be foreshadowing! Hey guys, I’m the new SPD recruit, is that cool or what?
Justin: That’s my line!
Jack: No, it’s not cool. Now get out before you suddenly start driving the robot that everybody thinks Boom was going to use…
Sam: I’m going to be a Power Ranger!
Syd: No you’re not! Security!
*Justin and Sam are transported off to the next series of The Surreal Life at Ludicrous Speed*
or I'll send Mora to live at your place for a week!
Power Rangers SPD
Episode 13x7-8 "Sam"
Guy Who Fiver’d It: GreenNinja
*Basketball Court in the ‘Hood of New Tech City*
*Sam walks up, and sees a group of kids playing a game of B-ball*
Sam: Hey guys? Can I play?
Kid: No.
Sam: You might not want to say that. You might cause me to have some kid-angst and start talking to dolls…
Kid: I said no!
*Sam holds out his hand, and makes the basketball disappear. It reappears on top of a cat, which promptly screeches*
Kid: Freak!
Bee-Head Kid: Freak!
Sam: But don’t you have a…
Bee-Head Kid: FREAK!
*Sam walks away, and sees a creepy-looking doll sitting on the bench*
Doll: ‘Ello. Oi’m Cindy Sunshine? Do you want to play?
Sam: Why’s a doll with an accent crisis talking to me? I told them it would happen…
---------------------------------------
*Scene: Gruumm’s Evil Flying Ship of Doom*
*Scene: Mora’s creepy little girl’s bedroom…of doom!”
Mora: I want more dolls, but Gruumm says he’s spending the money on more “important purchases!” Bwah! Like his issues of Playboy are important! Fine, I’ll make something so daddy pays attention to me!
*Mora draws a monster. He looks like a cross between a bird, a tiki idol, and something out of Dr. Seuss, but speaks in a deep raspy voice*
Bugglesworth: Hello! I’m Bugglesworth! Is my voice high-pitched enough for you?
Mora: No.
*hands Bugglesworth a helium balloon*
Now make it!
---------------------------------------
*At SPD Headquarters*
*Bridge is standing on his head, Syd is videotaping herself with a webcam, and everyone else is standing around watching Syd*
Bridge: All this being upside down and looking at Sydney’s Down Under has given me an idea…we have powers, we’re Power Rangers. Is there some connection between our abilities and Ranger powers?
Sky: Disney…
Bridge: What I’m saying is, is there some greater cosmic reason?
Tori: Good point. Are we in a comic book, animated by some crazed fan?
Z: Listen, I’m just getting out of this so I can go look for fanboys to admire me, given that I’ve show almost no personality in the first few episodes.
Sky: Freak!
Bee-Head Kid: Freak!
Sigmund Freud: Now, Mr. Tate, tell me about your father…
Kat: We’ve got a giant toy attacking the city!
Cruger: And get out of here…I need to get some surgery done on my nose…
*Jack and the others Ranger Up*
---------------------------------------
*In the City*
Z: Watch this!
*Z opens her shirt, the light reflects from her chest onto Bugglesworth’s Zord*
Bugglesworth: Shiny!
Sky: Eat lea…lasers!
Blue Delta Runner: Zap!
Green Delta Runner: Wrap!
Jack: Watch for our Tonka Toys of Doom! Sword!
Z: Wait, who’s that kid?
Haley Joel Osment: I see dead people…
Sky: No, the other kid…
Sam: ZAP!
Z: Wait! I want your autograph! I loved The Sixth Sense!
---------------------------------------
*SPD HQ*
Cruger: It seems we lost an entire office. Have they been downsized? Or did it just disappear?
Jack: Yeah, and dogs can talk…
Cruger: Shut your mouth, cadet, ‘cause I’ll kick your rear when I…
Jack: The building did disappear. And all of us, not just Bridge can attest to that…
Bridge: Pretty colors…
Cruger: And where is Z at the moment? I don’t see her nipples around here as I usually do…
Sky: She ran off after Haley Joel Osment…something about an autograph…
---------------------------------------
*In the ‘Hood of New Tech City*
Don of the Kid Mafia: I wants youse to show these guyses what you can do, to keep Michael Jackson away from us…
Bee-Head Kid: FreaK!
Z: Obey me and my energy orbs, back away from the kid! I’ll have to get his autograph since I lost Osment… Now, I just want to talk to you about your powers? Can you see dead people?
Sam: No?
Krybots: LEAP!
Sam: ZAP!
*Sam, Bugglesworth, and the Krybots vanish*
Jack on Radio: Z, we’ve found the building.
Z: If you make me lose that autograph, I’ll kill you! But okay…
---------------------------------------
*The building is half-buried in the sand as the Rangers overlook it*
Jack: Amazing!
Syd: Incredible!
Sky: Unbelievable!
Z: Awesome!
Bridge: Shiny!
---------------------------------------
*Inside the building, where a red stapler is noticeable sitting on one of the desks*
Syd: This is weird. It’s like a ghost…office…building…something.
Z: Now you see why I wanted that autograph?
*Z trips over something. Canned laughter appears in the background*
Z: Look, Syd, a Barbie doll! Just like you! Bridge, what can you make of these?
*Bridge grabs the female doll, and touches it in the crotch as he gets a flashback*
---------------------------------------
*Flashback!*
Bugglesworth: A building! Look, it’s all Japanese people on the first floor! I’ll get Mora these for now, and the black people on the second floor later! ZAP!
People: GAK!
---------------------------------------
*Mora’s room…of doom!*
Bugglesworth: Mora, are you happy?
Mora: Do I look happy, biatch? I wants me some peoples, but you only bring me Asian peoples? Go out and get them, o’ I’ll get out the Raid can! Don’ think I won’t!
Bugglesworth: Yes, Mora…
---------------------------------------
*SPD HQ*
Z: It was the kid controlling Bugglesworth’s robot…
Sky: Z, you’ve been out in the cold too long…I can tell.
Syd: Isn’t it warm?
Sky: Don’t ruin it!
Z: He also stopped some Krybots. I think we have a kid with powers…just like us!
Kat: Bugglesworth’s back. You know what to do…
---------------------------------------
*In the city, again*
Delta Squad Megazord: MEGAZORD!
Bugglesworth’s Robot: ZAP!
Megazord: Leap!
Sky: Let’s try the cuffs…
BR: Zap!
Jack: Darn it, I’m in the cuffs…again.
Bugglesworth: Now with you trapped, I can fulfill Mistress Mora’s wishes! So long!
Z: Look, it’s that kid again! I want that autograph, darnit!
*Z leaps from the Zord, racing after Sam*
Megazord: Sword!
Bugglesworth: Dig!
Bridge: Did we lose him again? I wasn’t paying attention…
---------------------------------------
*In the ‘Hood*
Z: Wait! I WANT – THAT – AUTOGRAPH!
---------------------------------------
*In a park!*
Sam: So, as I was saying, life is like a box of chocolates…
Cindy Sunshine: I don’t want to hear your blasted impression!
Z: ZAP!
Cindy: Thank you!
Z: I just want to talk to you. I’m also an obscure actor, but I can get more jobs than a kid. Watch…
*Z multiplies herself. Sam looks shocked*
Z: So, since we’re both freaks…
Bee-Head Kid: FREAKS!
Z: Can we be friends?
Jack: Hey, Z! We were looking for you!
Sam: There’s more of you?
*Sam tosses trash cans at the Rangers, but hits Bulk and Skull*
Bulk: Why do I keep getting myself into this?
---------------------------------------
*SPD HQ*
*Bridge is holding Cindy Sunshine in his hands, touching her crotch as he meditates*
Bridge: He’s down at a junkyard…and I saw a river and the word gold…
Sky: Holy Clue Batman, it must be Gold’s Junkyard down by the river!
Batman: You’re right Boy Wonder! Now let’s be off!
---------------------------------------
*Gruumm’s ship*
Mora: Look what they did to my dolly! Can you buy me a new one daddy? Please please please please please?
Gruumm: Do you want to be a child with a scary stage mom again? Then get out of my sight!
*Mora starts crying*
Broodwing: Here’s an Orangehead, send it out to Toys ‘R’ us so you can get more dolls.
Mora: Thank you!
---------------------------------------
*Gold’s Junkyard*
Sam: *singing* I’m all alone, there’s no one here beside me…I’m on my own…
Z: Sam! I want to show you something?
Jack: And it’s not what you think she’s going to show you…
Z: This is Jack, he’s a friend of mine…he has powers too…
*Jack moves over to a vat that says DANGEROUS CHEMICALS and molecularizes his head through. When his head comes up, it is on fire*
Jack: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Jack runs around screaming like a girl*
Z: Forget that. We want you to come with us…
Bugglesworth: He’s comin’ with me, missy!
Orange Head: The kid’s coming with me!
Darth Vader: Sam, I am your father…
*Jack and Z Ranger up*
Z: Hyah!
Orange Head: Hyah!
Jack: Blasters!
Orange Head: Zap!
Jack: He’s tough…
Z: Au-to-graph!
Bugglesworth: Will you be quiet! We still have a part 2 to get to!
---------------------------------------
PART 2
Z: Give me that autograph!
Orange Head: No! Watch my mastery of CGI! ZAP!
*Jack and Z fall down to the brilliant, shiny orange light*
Bridge: SHINY!
*The other Rangers show up*
Sky: He doesn’t seem too tough for a spiky, CGI-intensive-attack guy…
Jack: You haven’t been Pwned by him yet…
Bugglesworth: Let’s go back to Mora before I get the Raid again…
Sam: ZAP!
---------------------------------------
*A cliff…somewhere*
Z: Help, I’m going to fall off of this really short cliff!
Jack: I’ve got you Z! Product-Placed Patrol Cycle!
Orange Head: And I’ve got CGI! ZAP!
---------------------------------------
*Mora’s Room*
Sam: I’m bored. Do you have any action figures? These dolls are just too girly…
Mora: Well…
*Hands Sam a MagiRed figure*
Sam: Never mind…
Mora: I need an SPD doll…
Sam: You want Syd?
Mora: Syd, Z, it doesn’t matter…just get me them, or I bring out the Raid!
Sam: You must be confusing me for the bee-headed kid…
---------------------------------------
*SPD HQ*
Sky: Bridge, why are you undressing that female doll?
Bridge: Uhh…I can’t believe these were people? ‘Cause when they were, I totally would’ve done her…
Sky: If we don’t hurry up, we all may be plastic…
Syd: I already am…you just have to look at these….
*Syd motions to her chest*
Jack: And there’s also Spiky McOrangeHead.
Z: Sam’s the key…to me completing my autograph collection. Oh, and the case as well.
Sky: No, he was too friendly with Bugglesbubblesworth there…Bridge, thoughts?
Bridge: I think he’s thinking what we’re thinking they’re thinking and that we think he thinks they think…I think.
*Z gets up, and starts going into a soap-opera style breakdown*
Z: What is it with our powers? Why can’t he help?
Sky: Calm down, girl. What’s the deal?
Z: He reminds me of me. I remember when I was twelve…
Bridge: Flashbacks, shiny!
Z: In school, I was called freak, and nipple girl, so many hurtful names! Morbo was more popular than I was!
Morbo: Well, what can I say about the police girl and her strange genetic abilities? Heh heh heh…humanity will suffer!
Z: I would use my powers to run away while my stunt double was stumped with math! And I had nothing! Nothing to my name! I wanted to learn how DNA worked so I could be normal! I…
I remember that I ran away to Tony Hawk’s Dangerous Skate Park, where I ran into an obsessed fan! He was chased away, though, by some mysterious cloaked figure…holding what I think was a Spiral Saber…
*A naked Andros, covering his goodies, runs across the screen, ranting and raving*
Also, I lost the necklace that my father had given to me. It was shaped like a “Z…” which means that either he knew it was short for Elizabeth, or that I’m the daughter of Lord Zedd. Whatever the fanwank agrees on.
Syd: Wow, that was a great, if scary flashback.
Jack: Did you find who cloak-guy was?
Cruger: That was me. I’d stolen Andros’ cloak and Saber while he was out for a walk so I could scare that obsessed fan even more…oh, and I found your necklace. Here you go! Now, who wants to hear about their powers?
Bridge: Me, me!
Cruger: Okay, all your parents were in SPD.
Jack: My parents were missionaries…
Syd: My mom was a teacher…who was highly overpaid because she and the principal…anyway, that’s how we can pay for the upgrade to RIC 3.0
Cruger: No, no, no! That was all just to make you think your parents weren’t Special Police – then we’d enter into a whole ‘nother realm of clichés….anyway…
In 2001, your parents were working on a Generic Science Project and working with Generic Dangerous Chemicals, which altered their DNA, and the powers were passed on to you. Kat wasn’t affected, because she’s an alien and therefore immune. Oh, and she’s 147.
Jack: GAHH!
Cruger: Looking good, huh? Anyway, this is what led both to your powers and intense amount of fanwank theorizing. Sam’s parents were also there…he’s the last one. Now, go find him before Kat kicks you all in the tush…
*A montage plays by. In it, we see Syd asking guys, Z asking guys in exchange for opening her shirt, Bridge asking a Fernovian, Sky getting slapped in the face, and Jack wearing a clock around his neck*
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*In the Abandoned Warehouse District*
Z: Sam! There you are!
Sam: Why are you wearing Kira’s clothes?
*A naked Kira runs across the screen, ranting and raving as wolf whistles call out*
Z: Listen, there’s things I’d like to show you…some of which would anger the censors.
Cindy Sunshine: As if you haven’t ticked them off already…
Bugglesworth: Get her, or I’ll be Raided!
Z: Go on, do it! I can always be played by footage of Jasmine! Take me!
Sam: No, I don’t speak Japanese! Stay here Z!
Bugglesworth: Forget it!
Cindy: Get him!
Bugg: Hyah!
Z: Hyah!
Bugg: Zap!
Z: Crash!
Bugg: Gotcha!
Sam: NOOOO!!!
*Z is turned into a doll*
Kira: NOOOO!!!! Now I can never get these clothes back on!
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Mora: Yes, I have the doll! And when I sell it to the horny fanboys on the Internet, I’ll be rich!
Gruumm: Z? I’ll have it! She’s so hooottt….
Mora: But my money!
Gruumm: Forget it!
*The Z Doll vanishes*
Gruumm: NOOOO!!!
Mora: Have to love the dramatic irony, don’t you?
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Sam: Z? But I thought you were…?
Z: That was my clone! I guess you didn’t see my flashback earlier.
Sam: I understand now. I’ll help people from now on. How’d you get back in your uniform?
*Kira runs across the screen, horny fanboys on her tail*
Orange Head: Listen, I need to create tension here…GAHHH!
Krybots: Grab!
Z: No…Hyah!
*Z multiplies herself, the three of them attacking*
Orange Head: I want to fight, but…this has always been a fantasy of mine…
*A Blue Head is summoned*
Blaster: Zap!
Jack: Z, we’ve arrived to leaven the dramatic tension. Why are you using your ability again? SO hot……
Z: Okay, there’s only one of me now.
*They Ranger up*
Sky: Hyah!
Syd: Hyah!
Bridge: Hyah!
Krybots: GAK!
Z: Krybots, how’d you like to see my energy orbs?
*A sphere of energy encloses around the disappointed Krybots, who go GAK*
Jack: I know wire-fu!
Blue Head: Want to do a CGI-intensive fight?
Jack: Sure!
*A CGI-intensive laser-fight takes place*
Blue Head: GAK!
Orange Head: Nice, but let’s see you combat stronger CGI!
Rangers: Ouch!
Z: I’m calling in RIC, it’s getting too late into the episode…
Jack: Time for the bone!
Syd: Jack, are you coming on to me?
*RIC transforms into a cannon*
Orange Head: ZAP!
RIC: ZAP!
Orange Head: GAK!
Bugglesworth: Let’s go already! I still have to be killed!
Z: Megazord!
Megazord: MEGAZORD!
*It suddenly starts raining*
Sky: Why now? The Megazord’s gonna get rusty!
Buggleswoth: ZAP!
Megazord: Roll!
Bugglesworth: Where’d they go? I almost killed them! Darn you Disney!
Megazord: SWORD! CUT!
Z: Judgment Time!
SPD Morpher: Guilty, dude!
Megazord: ZAP!
Bugglesworth’s Robot: GAK!
Jack: Hold it there! Don’t forget what else Disney makes us do to you!
Containment Card: WHOOSH!
Mora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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*SPD HQ*
People-Dolls: Whoosh!
Boom: So, Kat, now that the dolls are gone, how about if I put my Ken in your dollhouse?
Kat: Forget it.
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*Some room we’ve never seen before*
Sam: Look at me! I’m revving the handle on my bike in a way that may or may not be foreshadowing! Hey guys, I’m the new SPD recruit, is that cool or what?
Justin: That’s my line!
Jack: No, it’s not cool. Now get out before you suddenly start driving the robot that everybody thinks Boom was going to use…
Sam: I’m going to be a Power Ranger!
Syd: No you’re not! Security!
*Justin and Sam are transported off to the next series of The Surreal Life at Ludicrous Speed*