OT FanFiction: B-Force: Revival

[Storm Warrior2]

B-Force: Revival, Chapter 1

It’s amazing how much time can change a person. twenty year-old Andrew McCormick thought as he sat on his bed in his College dorm, absentmindedly staring at the ceiling. He turned to his bedside desk and picked up a framed photograph that had been taken six years before. There he stood, fourteen years old, his best friend Roland Williams at his side, and his younger sister, Josephine McCormick, standing in front of him. In the background was a large, run-down, seemingly abandoned mansion-the Hillhurst Mansion. It rested on an old, spooky hill in the city of Charterville. Many times in his past year at college he had yearned for the chance to go back, back to reading comics with Roland, fighting over the remote with Josephine-or Jo, as she liked to be called, or loading up on junk food with both of them for an all-night movie marathon. But those days were gone. Andrew took a long glance at himself in the photo: skinny, short, and with wavy blonde hair. Even that had changed. He was now much more built, tall, and on the basketball team. His hair was black, and he looked overall different. He sighed, rolled to the other side of his bed, and opened a drawer in his small, wooden dresser. He placed the photo there, amongst a pile of rolled-up socks. Before closing the door, he gazed at the other occupant of the drawer: a rusty, aged action figure of his favorite childhood superhero: The Blue Stinger Beetleborg. The bell for third class then rang, and Andrew dropped the toy into his dresser drawer, closed it, locked it, and left for class.

“Yes, Mr. Robinson.” Roland Williams said as he took a packet of typed pages from his teacher’s hand and exited the classroom at Stony Brook College. As he walked back his dorm, tired from the first string of classes, he was met by his roommate, Ash Baldwin. Ash was a well-built, twenty year-old student with long, brown hair and dark green eyes. This did not contrast well with Roland’s nerdy appearance: skinny, black-rimmed glasses, and short, black hair. “Hey, Ash.” Roland mumbled with a lack of enthusiasm. As a young teen, Roland had known Ash’s brother, Josh Baldwin. Roland thought he was an okay guy. But he couldn’t say he really liked Ash. Ash was the complete opposite of Roland in every way: appearance, personality, background, anything you could think of. Roland walked into the dorm and collapsed on his bed, while Ash quickly retrieved his motorcycle helmet and left again. Roland was glad; he would much rather be in peace then have to listen to Ash’s incoherent mumbling about his false plans to set the college ablaze, or his loud, garbled rock music. He liked the quiet dorm. Many a time he would retreat from class into his dorm to be alone. Much of the time he would think about his exams or upcoming tests, but he thought about his old friends, Drew and Jo McCormick, more. They had all been best friends through High School, but in Drew and Roland’s senior year, it had all began to fall apart. Drew was leaving to a college in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, on a basketball scholarship. Roland, on the other hand, was leaving to Stoney Brook, Connecticut, to major in computer repairs. Jo was staying in Charterville; she was only going into eleventh grade. So the trio had parted ways, planning to meet again during summer vacation. But, unfortunately, they were going to meet a lot sooner…

Later that evening, Jo McCormick walked the streets of Charterville. Wearing her sexy, two-piece bikini underneath her white jacket, baby blue belly shirt, and short, blue shorts, she was on her way to meet her boyfriend, Joseph Night, at the local beach. Unfortunately, the beach was one town over, as was Joseph. To get there, Jo had to cross through the forest at the edge of town. Normally, that would not have been a problem. But when she reached the forest, Jo could sense that something was wrong. A few minutes later, they struck. A group of lanky, humanoid creatures with silver skin and horribly disfigured golden faces descended on Jo from the trees. As Jo ducked out of the way of a punch from one of them, she got a quick look at a word that was branded onto its skin: Nukus. Shocked, Jo backed up and stumbled over a log. She tripped and fell to the ground. The creatures grabbed a hold of her arms and legs and hoisted her to her feet. As she struggled to break away, another approached her from the distance. But he was different then the others. Horrible and menacing, the demonic figure was clothed in a red cape, and had fiery, red skin, as well as three gleaming white horns atop his head. A horrible, twisted sword rested in his right hand. Jo knew the face of the creature all too well. His name was Nukus, and he had returned from the depths of Hell to put an end to her existence.

[the_purple_stranger]

Hey, SW2... this is written pretty well. But refresh my memory, if you would... what is B-Force?

(I'm not up on all the anime/manga series, if this is what this is...)

[Storm Warrior2]

Hmm...I'll PM you with what it is. Don't want to spoil it for the others who don't want to know.

[DigificWriter]

Got a question for you:

Is this series set after BeetleBorgs, or in this universe did the two BB series never take place?

[Storm Warrior2]

Seven years after Big Bad Beetleborgs. Roland and Drew are both 20 and in college, Jo is 18 and a senior in High School.

All the chapters will be in this thread, btw.

[DigificWriter]

Thanks for answering. One more question: are you including the events of BeetleBorgs Metallix in this story?

[Storm Warrior2]

Yes i am.

*Whisper* Think you could link me to a summary of the final ep(besdies TVTOme?)

[wildranger]

not bad

[Storm Warrior2]

Wow. A lot more replies then i usally get. Chapter 2 will be up soon.

[Zord_Crazy]

The Borgs are back in town? *smacks his dumb ass for making with the lame gag* Still, it sounds cool. Post soon!

[Storm Warrior2]

The next day, Drew got a call from his mother on his cellular phone. As soon as he picked it up, he could tell something was wrong. His mother was sobbing uncontrollably. This was unusual in any situation, as Mrs. McCormick was a strong-willed woman. “What’s wrong, mom?” Drew asked concerned. His mother gave a muffled reply through her sobs. “Josephine is dead!” she cried. This pierced Drew like a bullet. His mother then filled him in on the events of the past day. Jo had disappeared the night before, and this morning, was discovered in the woods. She had been impaled by a strange blade, and was hanging from a tree. Drew was horrified. He hung up, grabbed his jacket and his keys, and took off in his car towards Charterville. Along the way, he called the Stoney Brook Technical College and got patched through to Roland, who was equally horrified. Roland informed Ash of the situation and Ash, seemingly concerned for one moment in time, agreed to call his brother and inform him as well. Roland nodded, and was on his way to Charterville a few minutes later.

The funeral was the next day. Roland and Drew were both there. Josh Baldwin and Ash were there as well, even though Ash had never known Jo. Mr. McCormick, Mrs. McCormick, Mr. Williams, Roland’s grandmother, and a strange old man with little hair and a wheelchair were there as well. It was a sad and depressing time for all. A little over an hour after the funeral, Josh, Drew, and Roland met up in a small restaurant near the cemetery. They were surprised at how much each other had changed. Josh now had blonde, spiked hair and black sunglasses that seemed to be attached to his face, tinting his eyes and making them appear brown. For a few minutes, the three men sat in silence. Roland was the first to speak up. “It’s good to see you guys again.” he said, not trying to fake a smile. “I just wish it was on better terms.” Josh replied solemnly. Drew quietly nodded. Roland piped up again. “Drew, you said that Jo was impaled by someone. You don’t think…” Roland began. This snapped Josh and Drew both to attention. “Let’s go to Hillhurst.” Drew whispered. The others nodded, and they rushed out to their cars.

Minutes later, they arrived at the seemingly abandoned Hillhurst Mansion. They were relieved to see that it was still standing and in the same condition it was in seven years ago. The trio sighed with relief and began to walk forward, but seconds later, jumped back as the mansion erupted in a flames. “What the Hell?” Drew asked, looking in awe at the flaming building. As it slowly burned to the ground, a form began to step from the rubble.

In his wheelchair came the strange, old man from Jo’s funeral. He wheeled his way to the three men. “Who are you?” Josh asked, confused. But Roland and Drew easily recognized the man. “Art Fortunes!” they exclaimed. The man nodded. “What happened in there?” Roland asked. “Nukus…he’s returned. He attacked the mansion. I came to try and warn the house monsters, but…” the man’s voice trailed off. “They’re gone?” Drew asked, tears beginning to swell in his eyes once again. Art nodded. “But…what are we supposed to do about Nukus?” Drew asked. Josh was confused. “Who’s Nukus?” he asked. “Long story.” was Roland’s short reply. Art reached to his side and revealed a small, brown package. “I found this inside.” he whispered. Drew took the package and opened it to find three strange, silver and black devices. The top of each device rested a unique, horn-like design. The trio gawked in amazement at the devices. “Our Bonders!” Roland exclaimed, ecstatic. “But I thought Nukus destroyed our Bonders years ago!” Drew announced to Art, who nodded. “That’s true, these are not the same Bonders you used all those years ago.” Art replied with a smile. Roland quickly grabbed a hold of the far right “Bonder,” the one with a claw-like design at the top. Drew took the middle Bonder, with a long, blade like design. Josh went to take the final Bonder, one with a large horn that boasted smaller horns atop it, but Art stopped him. “No. I designed that one specifically for a female to use. That is, before what happened to…to Jo.” Art explained. Josh’s expression turned glum, but this gave Drew an idea. “I’ll be back!” he announced, driving away in his car.

[Zord_Crazy]

Loving it, my friend. KIU!

[Storm Warrior2]

Kiu?

[.:HurricaneBlack:.]

I assume that 'KIU' means 'Keep it up'.

The fic looks good. The only thing that I would suggest is that you seperate the large chunks of paragraphs into smaller ones.

And speaking of paragraphs. New paragraphs are to be started whenever the dialouge switches to another person. Other than that, the story looks fine.

[wildranger]

keep up the good work

[Storm Warrior2]

An hour later, Drew returned to the site of the Mansion. Seeing that it was far out of town, no firefighters had been alerted and the charred building had burned down to its foundation. There Roland and Josh sat, on two metal stool that had been spared by the fire. Art rested next to them. Roland and Josh jumped up attentively as they saw that someone was exiting the passenger side of the car. As they came into view, Josh and Roland were taken aback. The woman Drew had brought was only twenty years old, and was beautiful. She had a long, slender body, long brunette hair, and dazzling green eyes. She wore a pair of tight-fitting blue jeans, and a short, white shirt exposing her naval and a black bra concealing her large, busty breasts. Drew turned to them. “Roland, Josh, you remember Heather, don’t you?”

Yes, they did remember Heather. Drew had a crush on her that dated all the way back to the seventh grade. In the eleventh grade they had finally gotten together, and ended up at the same college together. At least, that’s what Roland knew. Josh, on the other hand, had become quickly smitten with Heather during his short stay in Charterville. No more then a month after moving in, his mother managed to acquire another job in another city that was “closer to family.” Josh had not seen Heather since he was thirteen years old. “Hi. Now, what do you need to talk to me about?” she asked sweetly. Minutes later, all four were seated on what was left of the metal stools hidden in the Hillhurst Mansion. Drew spoke first.

“Seven years ago, Trip and Van-remember, those two snotty rich kids?-dare Roland, Jo, and I to go into this mansion. We found that it was haunted. Really haunted. There was a Frankenstein monster, a werewolf, a living statue of armor, even a vampire! But when we fell backwards while running from one of them, Jo’s elbow hit a series of keys on a pipe organ. Those specific three notes that were played were the exact combination required to unleash a ghost-a phasm-from the organ. His name was, sand I know it sounds strange, “Flabber.” He was the only sensible thing in the house, and after we freed him, he granted us a wish. Now, you knew us, Heather. The only thing we lived for was reading the Beetleborgs comic books. So that’s what we wished for: to become the Beetleborgs. And he did it. Flabber brought the Beetle Bonders and all the technology from the comic books into the real world, and we became the Beetleborgs.” Drew explained. Heather looked dazed. “No way. You guys…you were the ones fighting as the Beetleborgs?” she asked. They nodded. It was time for Josh to pick up on the story.

“Unfortunately, Flabber also released the Magnavors, the mortal enemies of the Beetleborgs. They were the ones who sent out the monsters to terrorize Charterville. Eventually, they got smart. They stole a piece of Drew, the Blue Stinger Beetleborgs armor, and based their technology on it to create the Shadowborg. When he managed to capture the powers of the Beetleborgs, Art Fortunes, the man behind the comics,” Josh pointed to the elderly man, “Created the White Blaster Beetleborg. Unfortunately, they needed someone to fill the armor. For some unknown reason, they chose me, the new kid in town. So I became the White Blaster Beetleborg and helped to destroy the Shadowborg. Unfortunately, my powers were somehow linked to that of the Shadowborg, and once he was gone, so were my powers. Flabber decided it was best to relocate me and my family so that the Magnavors wouldn’t come after me.” Josh explained, reciting his part in the Beetleborg mythos. Heather slowly nodded and gulped. I was Roland’s turn.

“Eventually, the Magnavors attacked Art Fortunes directly. They needed him to draw them a powerful monster that they could bring to life. But he refused. So the Magnavors stole a drawing of Nukus, a terrible creature created by Art’s sadistic brother, Les Fortunes. Nukus was a master schemer. He brought every monster we had ever faced to life, then merged them together until the ultimate monster: Borgslayer. Borgslayer destroyed the A.V.s, our mobile attack vehicles, the Beetle Battle Base that held them, and Gargantus, the Mobile Attack Carrier. Then, in a twist, he found Trip and Van and gave them the secret of how to kill Borgslayer. They told us, and we killed him. Since he had so much evil energy in him, his death created a rip in reality, and the Magnavors-Vexor, Noxic, Jara, and Tideus-were sucked back into the comic book world. Unfortunately, Nukus was not. He began by utterly destroying our powers. Then he made a visit to the Charterville prison, where he brought more of Les Fortune’s other creations to life to help him. So, over time, Art designed us new powers, new weapons, and new vehicles. We became the new Beetleborgs. Beetleborgs Metallix.” Roland droned. It was then back to Drew.

“We fought for ages, and we beat everything Nukus threw at us. Five years ago, we finally did it. We killed Nukus. He had destroyed the drawing he had been brought from, so he went straight to Hell. And somehow, he’s back. He’s the one who killed my sister, and he’s the one who burnt down this mansion.” he explained. Heather nodded in understanding. “But why did you tell me this?” she asked, confused. Drew pulled the final Bonder from the package and placed in it her open right hand. “We need you to help us kill him again.” he told her, a serious glare in his eyes. Heather thought it over, but she didn’t have much time to think. A large group of the creatures that had ambushed Jo descended from the bottom of the hill. “You ready?” Drew asked Heather. She nodded. Josh and Art got out of the way as Heather, Drew, and Roland lined up. They raised the Bonders into the air with their right hands. “Beetle Blast!”

[Zord_Crazy]

whew...A whole lotta backstory...I hope you have more action next time. Peace out!

[Storm Warrior2]

Sorry...just wanted to get it out there for those who didn't see much of BBBB/BBM

[Zord_Crazy]

Sorry...just wanted to get it out there for those who didn't see much of BBBB/BBM

Of course, I missed the last half of Beetleborgs Metallix, so that helped a bit. :023:

[DigificWriter]

Holy cow. Not sure if I like you killing off Jo, but otherwise you've done a great job.

[Storm Warrior2]

Roland never told his friends, but he had never quite gotten over his fear of that slight electrical shock throughout his body as the Beetle Bonder recognized his DNA pattern. But he also loved the feeling as the armor began to spread, starting with his feet and working its way up. But as the green, metal covering began to reach his knees, he noticed that something was different about the suit. He just could not pinpoint what it was. As it spread over his waist, he realized it. The suit of armor felt much more lightweight then it had when he first wore it. Originally, the trio had to practice vigorously to get accustomed to the weight of the heavy armor. But hopefully, Roland thought, the lightweight would make it easier to adjust to…

When Drew first donned the Beetleborg armor, he was exhilarated from the rush of the seemingly magical growth spurt that raised him to the height of an adult. He was saddened to see that this was no longer the case, and his height remained the same. But the adrenaline rush of knowing that he was now outfitted with the most advanced, technological powers ever invented was still there. I promise, he thought to himself, I’ll make sure no one else dies.

Heather was frightened. Nothing like this had ever happened to her before, and she had to admit, she was afraid. A bright, white light had shrouded her vision, and she could not move. She could feel the cold, metal armor beginning to materialize on her body, starting with the metallic boots and working its way up. She did not know what was happening, but she did know one thing: she could trust Drew. A few minutes later, it was over, and the trio admired their new armor.

“Awesome.” Drew whispered, looking at his armor. While the standard Beetleborg armor was full metallic metal, the majority of this suit was a sleek, medium-blue spandex suit. But the traditional armor was still present. The same large, metal, dark blue boots with silver circuitry designs rested on his feet and ankles. On his knees rested the large, silver guard pieces of his original suit. His midsection plate was gone, now replaced by a silver belt that bore the design of a dark blue beetle on the buckle. There was break with more blue spandex, then dark blue chest armor that had a silver circuitry design in the center. His arms sported thin, dark blue shoulder armor, armor resting on his elbow joints, and gauntlets, all complete with the same silver circuitry designs. His helmet was the same dark blue, metal helmet that he had worn six years before, complete with the same thin, red visor encircling it, with the horn of a Hercules Beetle resting on the forehead. Looking over at Roland, he saw that his armor was, for the most part, the same, with the exception of a dark green color and a Stag Beetle horn. He then turned to Heather, to see that her dark red outfit with a fang beetle motif was slightly different: the silver chest armor was separated in two, presumably to leave room for her breasts, and all of the armor seemed to be quite a bit thinner and less bulky then his own. He reached for the familiar gun holster on his waist, and, sure enough, it was there. All three of the warriors turned towards the smoldered mansion as Josh and Art looked on in awe. Sure enough, three forms began to advance on the heroes, and they readied themselves for a fight.

On the right was a dazzling woman who seemed to be wearing a two-piece bikini made of dark green vines. She had vine-woven boots and gloves as well, and a green, plant-like helmet. In her right hand, she carried a vine whip. Even with her dazzling beauty, she was a horrible person. That was what had given her the name “Horribelle.”

The monster on the left was a humanoid, shark-like creature with a mouth of twisted, yellowed fangs, bloodstained from eating live prey. Long claws sprouted from his three twisted, blue fingers like blades in the hands of a ninja, and his stench matched his vile personality and looks. It was this vile nature that earned him the name “Vilor.”

In the middle of the three was Nukus, the vile, demon-like warrior who had easily disposed of the unprepared Josephine. He carried a second jagged, twisted sword in his right hand, and wore a mischievous smile on his face. “Well, if it isn’t the big bad Beetleborgs, finally back out to play. Are you ready to face the same fate as your little friend?” Nukus asked.

“Sorry, but we’re not the Beetleborgs.” Roland replied with a smirk.

“That’s right! We are…” Drew began.

“The B-Force!” the three exclaimed, running at the three monsters. Nukus snarled, and faceplates slid up to cover his and Horribelle face, leaving only their eyes unprotected. All three monsters then rushed the B-Force, meeting them in the middle.

Roland leapt over Vilor and landed behind him. “Take this!” he yelled, pulling the small, white, pistol-like gun with a red handle and a side keypad from his holster. “Sonic Laser!” he exclaimed, inputting a series of numbers. “Fire!” he added, aiming the blaster at Vilor and firing the sonic waves from its barrels. Vilor simply let out a horrible scream, creating his own sonic waves and sending Roland crashing to the ground. “Hunter Claw!” yelled Roland as Vilor approached him. Nothing happened. “Hunter Claw! Hunter Claw, dammit!” he yelled as Vilor began to materialize a long, silver sword in his right hand. He prepared to strike…

Meanwhile, Drew back flipped away from Nukus and brought out his Sonic Laser. “Fire!” he exclaimed after inputting a series of numbers. But when he brought his finger to the trigger, he realized Nukus was no longer there. “The Hell…” Drew began, but he was knocked to the ground by the blunt side of Nukus’ sword before he could finish his sentence “Now, you are going to face the same fate as your sister!” Nukus exclaimed, preparing a devastating sword attack.

“Whoa!” Heather yelled, almost tripping over a piece of rubble as she narrowly avoided one of Horribelle’s whip attacks. Copying Roland and Drew’s actions, she pulled out her Sonic Laser and began to randomly input buttons, but was struck down before she could discover the correct combination. “Drew…help…” she groaned, rolling over onto her side to see that Drew and Roland were on the ground as well. Art and Josh looked on in horror. All three members of the B-Force were at the mercy of these three menacing monsters, and there was no way to save them.

Suddenly, the hum of a distant motorcycle engine could be heard. It grew louder as the bike got closer to the Hillhurst Mansion site. Soon, the motorcycle, and the mysterious, helmeted man who was driving it, came into view. As Nukus turned to see where the noise was coming from, he was plowed down by the bike. It then swerved, making a path for Horribell, who jumped to the ground to avoid it. The driver then made a sharp turn and headed for Vilor, who ran to Nukus to help him up. “You were lucky this time, Beetleborgs, but we will return!” Nukus exclaimed, raising his blade to the air. There were three flashes of blue, green, and red lightning, and when they faded, the creatures were gone. Heather, Roland, and Drew got to their feet and ran over to join Josh and Art, who looked on at their mysterious savior as he dismounted his bike and walked over. He removed his helmet, and the others looked into his face…

[Zord_Crazy]

White Beetleborg. huh?

[Storm Warrior2]

Huh?

[Zord_Crazy]

Sorry, I should have worded that out more. I was wondering if the guy on the bike was the fourth Beetleborg.

[Storm Warrior2]

You'll see...all in due time, my friend.

[Ryuranger]

Please use paragraphs. i only say that because i want to read this.

[Storm Warrior2]

But i do use paragraphs, Ryu. I do..

[Ryuranger]

Properly. To make it more reader friendly. For example, instead of:

The funeral was the next day. Roland and Drew were both there. Josh Baldwin and Ash were there as well, even though Ash had never known Jo. Mr. McCormick, Mrs. McCormick, Mr. Williams, Roland’s grandmother, and a strange old man with little hair and a wheelchair were there as well. It was a sad and depressing time for all. A little over an hour after the funeral, Josh, Drew, and Roland met up in a small restaurant near the cemetery. They were surprised at how much each other had changed. Josh now had blonde, spiked hair and black sunglasses that seemed to be attached to his face, tinting his eyes and making them appear brown. For a few minutes, the three men sat in silence. Roland was the first to speak up. “It’s good to see you guys again.” he said, not trying to fake a smile. “I just wish it was on better terms.” Josh replied solemnly. Drew quietly nodded. Roland piped up again. “Drew, you said that Jo was impaled by someone. You don’t think…” Roland began. This snapped Josh and Drew both to attention. “Let’s go to Hillhurst.” Drew whispered. The others nodded, and they rushed out to their cars.

Do this:

The funeral was the next day. Roland and Drew were both there. Josh Baldwin and Ash were there as well, even though Ash had never known Jo. Mr. McCormick, Mrs. McCormick, Mr. Williams, Roland’s grandmother, and a strange old man with little hair and a wheelchair were there as well. It was a sad and depressing time for all.

A little over an hour after the funeral, Josh, Drew, and Roland met up in a small restaurant near the cemetery. They were surprised at how much each other had changed. Josh now had blonde, spiked hair and black sunglasses that seemed to be attached to his face, tinting his eyes and making them appear brown. For a few minutes, the three men sat in silence.

Roland was the first to speak up. “It’s good to see you guys again.” he said, not trying to fake a smile.

“I just wish it was on better terms,” Josh replied solemnly. Drew quietly nodded.

Roland piped up again. “Drew, you said that Jo was impaled by someone. You don’t think…” Roland began.

This snapped Josh and Drew both to attention. “Let’s go to Hillhurst.” Drew whispered. The others nodded, and they rushed out to their cars.


- A standard rule of thumb is to switch paragraphs when you switch people. Especially when dealing with quotes.

- Also, avoid clumping two different scenes into one massive graph. See the graph I used above as an example.

[Storm Warrior2]

Sorry. I'll do better. Thanks.

[RoCemSoCem]

This is getting good, Storm Warrior. Keep it up.

[PHAETON]

Storm Warrior Great job on this Fic. I love the new suits, and Nuckus' return. I have Several Questions or Suggestions that may Interest you.

1.Will Josh make an Comeback as White Stinger?


2. Will The Custaceans once again require the Work of Les Fortunes for their monsters or will find Fresh blood?

3. How could The Shadowborg Return as well?

4. How are you gonna explain the simmalarites between The Machine Empire Generals in Forver Red with the Beetleborgs?

5. Are The Mantrons and The Astral borgs going to make an Reapperance?

[PHAETON]

anyobdy here?