CubeRanger
02-07-2004, 01:47 PM
The Rita Repulsa Show
Written by Beonca Taylor and Rob Seibert
Note: The Rita Repulsa Show does not take place within Power Rangers Continuity. It’s for entertainment purposes only.
EPISODE ONE: DAY OF THE PLUMPSTER
BACKSTAGE
“Squatt, Baboo, this is Rita’s first show so you better not screw it up!” Lord Zedd yelled angrily, shaking his silver staff at the two babbling henchmen.
“We won’t Lord Zedd, we promiiiissse,” Squatt said in his casual squeaky tone, as he and Baboo picked up their filming cameras and headed into the studio.
Rita Repulsa came stumbling down the hallway towards her husband, as her official theme song ‘Hey Rita’ began to fill the studio. She flashed a fake grin at him and proceeded onto the stage presenting her audience with a fake Rosie O’Donnell impersonation by throwing up her arms in the air and smiling.
“YOU SUCK!” yelled a male voice within the audience.
Rita’s fake expression grew into real anger, making her run to her desk and grab her wand. “There’s no need for that Empress,” Goldar yelled as he moved swiftly through the audience. “No one disrespects my empress in front of me.” Goldar said throwing the teenager who gave the insult out into outer space.
Satisfied, Rita returned to her desk. “We have many exciting guests today, as you already can see from all of the posters pasted on the walls. Anna Nicole is here, as well as Lothor, the feared space ninja.” Rita screeched. She pulled open one of her desks and produced a figurine which was modeled after her. “Consider this your prize, my personal knick-knacks will be on sale out in the entrance after the show. They cost three-thousand zanabatars, and if you don’t buy them, you can’t leave the studio by way of Goldar!” Rita said giving a high pitched laugh.
The audience gasped, many of them not knowing what zanabatars were. They were interrupted by Rita’s voice. “Now, let’s welcome our first guest Ms. Anna Nicole!” Rita screamed with delight. The audience burst into laughter when a woman with curly blonde hair walked out to the stage wearing a wardrobe identical to Rita’s.
“Yeow mama!” yelled the voice of Rita’s brother Rito Revolto.
“Goldar! Get this idiot off my stage!” Rita screamed, as Rito walked up to Anna and began poking her in the stomach. Goldar returned into the studio, and grabbed Rito by his arms.
“Ahh come on Goldie, you know I’ve had a crush on her since we got cable in the palace.” Rito yelled grabbing onto Anna’s arm.
Breaking free of Rito’s grasp, Anna Nicole Smith waddles farther onto the stage, with a box of donuts in her hand where the wand would be, and struggles to fit in the chair next to Rita’s desk. “Nyaaaaaaaaaah………,” she whined. “You’re chairs are to smaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll.”
“Rito! Get Anna a bigger chair prompt-o!” Rita screamed. “I’m so sorry Anna, I forgot about your little weight problems.
“Nyaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh, what weight problems?”
Rito brought the chair onto the stage, and tried to help Anna out of the chair she was in. “Sis! She’s stuck!” he said tugging on Anna’s plump arms.
“Nyaaaaaaaaaah, I’m not staaaaaaak!” Anna screamed twisting away from Rito, causing herself to whirl in a complete 180 degree turn, knocking Rito down with the chair stuck to her ample posterior. She plopped back down to the ground, breaking the chair in the process.
“Ouch! That hurt!” Rito complained.
“Here,” Rita said, helping Anna up. Anna pulled Rita down on top of her.
“Nyaaaaaaah! Stay away from my donuts!”
The audience burst out in laughter, as Anna pushed Rita up off of her, and made way for Rita’s desk. Interestingly enough, she eyed the Repulsa figurine.
“Mmmmmmmmahhh…is this one of those chocolate bunnies?” She proceeded to bite the head off of the small figurine.
“Oh, would you like one of my figurine’s An--” Rita screamed out in horror as Anna bit the figurine’s head off.
“Nyaaaaaaaah, tastes like chocolate!”
“It’s glass! You stupid blonde!” Rito yelled from backstage, still clutching his leg.
“NYAAAAAHHHH!” Anna roared, as she grabbed Rita’s wand and shot a stream of laser fire in Rito’s direction.
The laser beam hit Rito in the buttocks, and he stumbled towards the exit as smoke zoomed from his bottom. Grinning at her brother’s attack, Rita looked at Anna. “Shall we proceed to the interview?” she asked, smiling sweetly.
“Nyaaaaaaaahhhh, you told me we were meeting for coffee and cake!”
“Well, that’s true. I was just having the coffee and cake made now,” She said eying Lord Zedd, who nodded. Zedd grabbed his wand, and produced the refreshments.
“Meet my husband, Lord Zedd!” Rita introduced, him as he delivered the plate of cake, and coffee to Rita’s desk.
The audience let out sickened groans, and pointed at Zedd’s brain and red muscled body.
“Nyaaah…he smells like silicon!” Anna screamed, pointing at Lord Zedd. The audience snickered, and whispered comments about Anna’s gigantic breasts.
“I’ve had enough!” Rita shrieked. “I’m tired of being polite, it’s not my nature!” she growled, grabbing her wand and pointing it at Anna. “You are a filthy human!”
“A filthy large human!” Rito growled from backstage.
For a moment, Anna stared at the red orb in Rita’s wand. “Mmmmmmmm, looks like a big cherry!” The audience stared on in horror, as Anna took a tremendous bite out of Rita’s wand.
“Uh-oh, she’s done it now,” Rito laughed as red electricity caused Anna’s Repulsa garment to catch on fire.
“NYAAAAAHHH!!!!” Anna screamed as she rushed around the stage.
“Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll!” Baboo called to her.
“Yeah! Hop flop and goal!” Squatt repeated.
Heeding to the advice of the dim witted camera operators, Anna flopped down on the floor of the studio. A tremendous rumbling followed as the entire studio shook, not entirely unlike a gigantic monster’s footstep.
The audience broke into screams, as Anna (looking like a giant boulder) rolled out the studio letting great poufs of fire-flamed gas wonder from her pompous behind.
The audience dyed down, after Goldar cleared the stench from the studio. Rita returned to her desk and moved Anna’s ‘HUGE’ chair next to it. “Let’s welcome our next guest, Lothor, the gangster space ninja!”
Lothor walked into the studio, and played to the crowd’s massive booing. He kissed Rita on the hand, and fell down into Anna’s un-used large chair.
“So, you’re the one who’s fighting these new Power Rangers?” she asked wiping her hand on her dress.
Keeling in Anna’s chair, Lothor nodded. “Yes, that is correct my dear. From what I understand they are ninjas, and weathermen of some kind. Everywhere I go it’s “thunder” or “wind” or “storm”. It’s good to know we’re all protected if a little thunder shower happens to fall on us.”
Lothor then looked directly into the camera. “But no one is safe from Lothor.”
“I’ve had a little experience in ranger battling myself, would you like some tips?” Rita annoyingly asked.
Lothor placed his hand on Rita’s. “From you my dear, any advice is golden.”
“Well, after destroying countless Ranger teams myself, the trick is destroying their base. Without a base, they have no powers. That’s why I was successful when I destroyed their Power Chamber.” Rita lied.
Divatox jumped up from the audience. “Why you little liar! I destroyed their power ch--!” before she could say anything else, Goldar grabbed her purple ponytail and dragged her out of the studio.
“Ah yes…that little Ninja house of theirs.” Lothor said. “Hey, did you know I turned a great Ninja master into a Guinea Pig?”
“That’s kiddy stuff! I trapped the most powerful wizard in the universe inside of a time warp,” Rita boasted with pride.
Gently patting Rita on her boisterous hat, Lothor commented, “Well dear, if I may say so, weren’t you trapped inside of a cosmic trash can for a few centuries?”
Rita growled. “At least I wasn’t banished into outer space!”
“You already lived in outer space my dear,” Lothor corrected her.
“Hey sis, didn’t Ed banish you when he returned to the palace?” Rito asked.
Lothor glared at Rita with a fresh ‘I’m-better-than-you’ smile.
Rita snarled at Rito. “I destroyed the power coins!” she screamed.
“With Ed’s help,” Rito corrected her.
“Pffft!” Lothor snorted. “Power coins? I use those things in vending machines when I want a bag of M&Ms.”
Rita growled.
“Besides, didn’t you know a Ranger’s powers can ONLY be destroy when he’s in his morphed Ranger form? I mean C’MON people, you should really get out of the dumpster more often! It’s the 21st Century here Rita!”
Growling louder, Rita looked down at her cue cards. “Well, it looks like we have some special guests today!” Rita smiled. “Let’s bring out Lothor’s embarrassing nieces Marah and Kapri!” Rita yelled with delight. As the two females with head-gear stranger then Rita’s walked onto the stage.
The males from the audience whistled at the two females.
“Hi uncle!” Marah yelled.
“So this is the one who thinks destroying the world means attacking the local juice bar?” Kapri asked, pointing at Rita.
“I thought she was supposed to be Japanese? I wanted to meet a Japanese witch!” Marah yelled stomping up and down.
Silencing Marah, Lothor placed his hand against his forehead and nodded. “Yes girls…this is the one with the funny hat, and the ugly husband.”
“It’s not my hat! It’s my hair!” Rita yelled.
“Then you should really visit the nearest space salon,” Marah said pointing at her hair. “They can do wonders.”
“I do get my hair done there, thank you very much!” Rita said.
Lothor’s eyes widened. “What did you ask for….the ‘Bugs Bunny’?”
“You should really get your flash light repaired too, the light bulb is broken.” Marah said pointing at Rita’s wand. “It can be dangerous if you loose electricity in space.”
“IT’S NOT A FLASHLIGHT!” Rita screamed.
Kapri looked at Marah, and knocked her across the side of the head. “It’s called a dim bulb, you dim bulb! A broken flashlight is called dim bulb!”
“Ouch!” Marah yelled grabbing her head. “Uncle…..” she whined. “How much longer is the going to take? I need to be home at seven to watch ‘That’s So Raven.”
“That’s So Raven?” Rito yelled. “I LOVE that show!” He rushed up onto the stage, and threw his arms around Marah.
“Hey, what do you say we go back to Ed’s palace, and watch it?” Rito asked.
Lothor looked on…..growling.
“Yeah! Come on let’s go!” Marah yelled jumping down into the audience.
Lothor and Rita both rolled their eyes. “Kids.” they sighed simultaneously.
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to a castle alone, with that thing?” Kapri asked pointing disgustingly at Rito. “He’s a smelling bag of walking bones!”
“Hey! I resent that!” Rito yelled smelling under his arms.
Lothor waved her off. “Don’t worry, she’s dated worse. Like that gold monkey she brought home once…”
“Hi Goldar!” Marah flashed her eyes towards him as she and Rito exited the studio.
Goldar growled and stomped forward. “Oh look,” Goldar growled, patting his sword against his rough golden hand. “It’s the chick who wouldn’t kiss the monkey!”
“You had bad breath, which is a total like ‘get a breath mint’!” Marah told him.
Rito nodded affirmatively. “Yeah goldy, you could really use a tic-tac.”
Goldar let out a fierce roar, and swung his sword at Rito’s head. The weapon decapitated the skeleton head, and sent it flying into the audience.
“You! You stupid stupid stupid monkey! You killed my date!” Marah screamed.
Laughter erupted out from the audience. “Well……” Rito’s voice is heard as the audience plays catch with his bone head. “Isn’t this magical….?”
Marah stormed out of the studio in tears.
“Marah….wait!” Kapri yelled running after her. “He’s not worth it Marah!”
Contemplating his decision, Goldar chased after Marah. “Marah wait! I can change! I’ll get a tic tac! Marah wait!”
“Goldar! You’re supposed to be the security guard!” Zedd roared, running out onto the stage.
“Looks like he’ll be guarding my niece,” Lothor laughed.
“You!” Lord Zedd yelled turning to Lothor. “Get out of my studio!”
Lothor stood up. “You want to make me tin grin?”
“No Zeddy! Don’t fight!” Rita screamed jumping between them.
“He’s had it coming for a loooooong time.” Zedd said pushing Rita into Squatt.
Lothor danced around pretending to be Zedd. “Ooooo, look at me! I’m Lord Zedd! I think I’m SOOO cool because I have a snake, and copyrighted the word ‘Lord’ in my name.”
Zedd’s body beamed into a bright red.
“Hey! You know, you could use that red glow thing for a gig Zedd! Ever hear of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?”
Zedd grabbed his staff, and shoots a ball of electricity at Lothor. “Rudolph this you Los Lunchadores impersonator!”
Lothor flew backward, through the studio wall.
“And stay out!” Rito’s head wailed.
Rita stumbled to her desk, and glanced at her last cue card. “It looks like we have a surprise guest!” she said. “Please welcome, Mr. Jerry Springer!”
For the first time all night, the crowd arose to their feet as a confused Jerry Springer walked into the studio. The crowd dropped Rito’s head down, and broke into ‘JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!’ chants.
“I found him on earth sis, what do you think?” Rito asked, his head turned upside down.
“Welcome to the Rita Repulsa Show,” Rita glared at the man.
“Ummmm, I’m sorry…” he said. “There…must be some mistake, my agent said Jay Leno… I mean, no offense folks, but you people looks weirder then the people I have on MY show!”
“So you’re going to walk your namby pampy self on my show, and disgrace me and my species? They are my friends!” Rita said, pointing to the audience. She walked over to Jerry, and pointed her broken wand in his face. “Is the Rita Repulsa Show not good enough for you?”
Jerry placed his hands up in surrender. “Oh no no no, the Rita Repulsa Show is fine! In fact, I think it’s a nice little set you have here!”
“That’s what I thought!” Rita said, returning to her chair. “So you’re the host of the show full of dirty earthlings who cheat on each other with their farm animals?” Rita asked.
Jerry shifted uncomfortably in Anna’s chair. “Well, it’s a show about people really. I like to think that if it happens in life, it happens on the Jerry Springer Show.
“Why are you on my show anyway? I don’t have any questions for you!” Rita said as she went through her cue cards.
“Well, why is that Rita? Do you somehow feel that you, or your show is inadequate?” Jerry leaned forward. “Because you Rita, are NOT inadequate. You, are a GOOD person!”
Rita jumped from her chair, and stormed over to Jerry. “Nobody calls Rita Repulsa good!” she screamed with outrage, and grabbed Jerry by his neck.
“I-I-I’m noticing a lot of repressed anger….”
“Repressed anger?” Rita growled.
“JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!” the fans screamed.
“Well…maybe….not so……..repressed….” Jerry said, beginning to lose consciousness.
"I could use Steve right about now," Jerry said gasping for breath.
“Rita! Stop! You’re going to kill him!” Zedd yelled, and pulled his wife away from the talk show host.
“That’s the point!” Rita screamed, trying to escape Zedd’s grasp. “He said I was a good person!
Jerry let out a inhale of relief….and then jumped toward Rita. “Nobody touches Jerry Springer you little *#$&%!”
Rito’s headless body jumped up from the audience, and grabbed Jerry. "Hey! You don't &*@#ing touch my sister you little piece of @#%$!" Rito’s head yelled.
"Get off me you bag of bones &#$%@!" Jerry yelled.
Rita jumped on Jerry’s back and yelled, “Until next time, I’m Rita Repulsa and I’ve got a headache!!!!!
Written by Beonca Taylor and Rob Seibert
Note: The Rita Repulsa Show does not take place within Power Rangers Continuity. It’s for entertainment purposes only.
EPISODE ONE: DAY OF THE PLUMPSTER
BACKSTAGE
“Squatt, Baboo, this is Rita’s first show so you better not screw it up!” Lord Zedd yelled angrily, shaking his silver staff at the two babbling henchmen.
“We won’t Lord Zedd, we promiiiissse,” Squatt said in his casual squeaky tone, as he and Baboo picked up their filming cameras and headed into the studio.
Rita Repulsa came stumbling down the hallway towards her husband, as her official theme song ‘Hey Rita’ began to fill the studio. She flashed a fake grin at him and proceeded onto the stage presenting her audience with a fake Rosie O’Donnell impersonation by throwing up her arms in the air and smiling.
“YOU SUCK!” yelled a male voice within the audience.
Rita’s fake expression grew into real anger, making her run to her desk and grab her wand. “There’s no need for that Empress,” Goldar yelled as he moved swiftly through the audience. “No one disrespects my empress in front of me.” Goldar said throwing the teenager who gave the insult out into outer space.
Satisfied, Rita returned to her desk. “We have many exciting guests today, as you already can see from all of the posters pasted on the walls. Anna Nicole is here, as well as Lothor, the feared space ninja.” Rita screeched. She pulled open one of her desks and produced a figurine which was modeled after her. “Consider this your prize, my personal knick-knacks will be on sale out in the entrance after the show. They cost three-thousand zanabatars, and if you don’t buy them, you can’t leave the studio by way of Goldar!” Rita said giving a high pitched laugh.
The audience gasped, many of them not knowing what zanabatars were. They were interrupted by Rita’s voice. “Now, let’s welcome our first guest Ms. Anna Nicole!” Rita screamed with delight. The audience burst into laughter when a woman with curly blonde hair walked out to the stage wearing a wardrobe identical to Rita’s.
“Yeow mama!” yelled the voice of Rita’s brother Rito Revolto.
“Goldar! Get this idiot off my stage!” Rita screamed, as Rito walked up to Anna and began poking her in the stomach. Goldar returned into the studio, and grabbed Rito by his arms.
“Ahh come on Goldie, you know I’ve had a crush on her since we got cable in the palace.” Rito yelled grabbing onto Anna’s arm.
Breaking free of Rito’s grasp, Anna Nicole Smith waddles farther onto the stage, with a box of donuts in her hand where the wand would be, and struggles to fit in the chair next to Rita’s desk. “Nyaaaaaaaaaah………,” she whined. “You’re chairs are to smaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll.”
“Rito! Get Anna a bigger chair prompt-o!” Rita screamed. “I’m so sorry Anna, I forgot about your little weight problems.
“Nyaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh, what weight problems?”
Rito brought the chair onto the stage, and tried to help Anna out of the chair she was in. “Sis! She’s stuck!” he said tugging on Anna’s plump arms.
“Nyaaaaaaaaaah, I’m not staaaaaaak!” Anna screamed twisting away from Rito, causing herself to whirl in a complete 180 degree turn, knocking Rito down with the chair stuck to her ample posterior. She plopped back down to the ground, breaking the chair in the process.
“Ouch! That hurt!” Rito complained.
“Here,” Rita said, helping Anna up. Anna pulled Rita down on top of her.
“Nyaaaaaaah! Stay away from my donuts!”
The audience burst out in laughter, as Anna pushed Rita up off of her, and made way for Rita’s desk. Interestingly enough, she eyed the Repulsa figurine.
“Mmmmmmmmahhh…is this one of those chocolate bunnies?” She proceeded to bite the head off of the small figurine.
“Oh, would you like one of my figurine’s An--” Rita screamed out in horror as Anna bit the figurine’s head off.
“Nyaaaaaaaah, tastes like chocolate!”
“It’s glass! You stupid blonde!” Rito yelled from backstage, still clutching his leg.
“NYAAAAAHHHH!” Anna roared, as she grabbed Rita’s wand and shot a stream of laser fire in Rito’s direction.
The laser beam hit Rito in the buttocks, and he stumbled towards the exit as smoke zoomed from his bottom. Grinning at her brother’s attack, Rita looked at Anna. “Shall we proceed to the interview?” she asked, smiling sweetly.
“Nyaaaaaaaahhhh, you told me we were meeting for coffee and cake!”
“Well, that’s true. I was just having the coffee and cake made now,” She said eying Lord Zedd, who nodded. Zedd grabbed his wand, and produced the refreshments.
“Meet my husband, Lord Zedd!” Rita introduced, him as he delivered the plate of cake, and coffee to Rita’s desk.
The audience let out sickened groans, and pointed at Zedd’s brain and red muscled body.
“Nyaaah…he smells like silicon!” Anna screamed, pointing at Lord Zedd. The audience snickered, and whispered comments about Anna’s gigantic breasts.
“I’ve had enough!” Rita shrieked. “I’m tired of being polite, it’s not my nature!” she growled, grabbing her wand and pointing it at Anna. “You are a filthy human!”
“A filthy large human!” Rito growled from backstage.
For a moment, Anna stared at the red orb in Rita’s wand. “Mmmmmmmm, looks like a big cherry!” The audience stared on in horror, as Anna took a tremendous bite out of Rita’s wand.
“Uh-oh, she’s done it now,” Rito laughed as red electricity caused Anna’s Repulsa garment to catch on fire.
“NYAAAAAHHH!!!!” Anna screamed as she rushed around the stage.
“Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll!” Baboo called to her.
“Yeah! Hop flop and goal!” Squatt repeated.
Heeding to the advice of the dim witted camera operators, Anna flopped down on the floor of the studio. A tremendous rumbling followed as the entire studio shook, not entirely unlike a gigantic monster’s footstep.
The audience broke into screams, as Anna (looking like a giant boulder) rolled out the studio letting great poufs of fire-flamed gas wonder from her pompous behind.
The audience dyed down, after Goldar cleared the stench from the studio. Rita returned to her desk and moved Anna’s ‘HUGE’ chair next to it. “Let’s welcome our next guest, Lothor, the gangster space ninja!”
Lothor walked into the studio, and played to the crowd’s massive booing. He kissed Rita on the hand, and fell down into Anna’s un-used large chair.
“So, you’re the one who’s fighting these new Power Rangers?” she asked wiping her hand on her dress.
Keeling in Anna’s chair, Lothor nodded. “Yes, that is correct my dear. From what I understand they are ninjas, and weathermen of some kind. Everywhere I go it’s “thunder” or “wind” or “storm”. It’s good to know we’re all protected if a little thunder shower happens to fall on us.”
Lothor then looked directly into the camera. “But no one is safe from Lothor.”
“I’ve had a little experience in ranger battling myself, would you like some tips?” Rita annoyingly asked.
Lothor placed his hand on Rita’s. “From you my dear, any advice is golden.”
“Well, after destroying countless Ranger teams myself, the trick is destroying their base. Without a base, they have no powers. That’s why I was successful when I destroyed their Power Chamber.” Rita lied.
Divatox jumped up from the audience. “Why you little liar! I destroyed their power ch--!” before she could say anything else, Goldar grabbed her purple ponytail and dragged her out of the studio.
“Ah yes…that little Ninja house of theirs.” Lothor said. “Hey, did you know I turned a great Ninja master into a Guinea Pig?”
“That’s kiddy stuff! I trapped the most powerful wizard in the universe inside of a time warp,” Rita boasted with pride.
Gently patting Rita on her boisterous hat, Lothor commented, “Well dear, if I may say so, weren’t you trapped inside of a cosmic trash can for a few centuries?”
Rita growled. “At least I wasn’t banished into outer space!”
“You already lived in outer space my dear,” Lothor corrected her.
“Hey sis, didn’t Ed banish you when he returned to the palace?” Rito asked.
Lothor glared at Rita with a fresh ‘I’m-better-than-you’ smile.
Rita snarled at Rito. “I destroyed the power coins!” she screamed.
“With Ed’s help,” Rito corrected her.
“Pffft!” Lothor snorted. “Power coins? I use those things in vending machines when I want a bag of M&Ms.”
Rita growled.
“Besides, didn’t you know a Ranger’s powers can ONLY be destroy when he’s in his morphed Ranger form? I mean C’MON people, you should really get out of the dumpster more often! It’s the 21st Century here Rita!”
Growling louder, Rita looked down at her cue cards. “Well, it looks like we have some special guests today!” Rita smiled. “Let’s bring out Lothor’s embarrassing nieces Marah and Kapri!” Rita yelled with delight. As the two females with head-gear stranger then Rita’s walked onto the stage.
The males from the audience whistled at the two females.
“Hi uncle!” Marah yelled.
“So this is the one who thinks destroying the world means attacking the local juice bar?” Kapri asked, pointing at Rita.
“I thought she was supposed to be Japanese? I wanted to meet a Japanese witch!” Marah yelled stomping up and down.
Silencing Marah, Lothor placed his hand against his forehead and nodded. “Yes girls…this is the one with the funny hat, and the ugly husband.”
“It’s not my hat! It’s my hair!” Rita yelled.
“Then you should really visit the nearest space salon,” Marah said pointing at her hair. “They can do wonders.”
“I do get my hair done there, thank you very much!” Rita said.
Lothor’s eyes widened. “What did you ask for….the ‘Bugs Bunny’?”
“You should really get your flash light repaired too, the light bulb is broken.” Marah said pointing at Rita’s wand. “It can be dangerous if you loose electricity in space.”
“IT’S NOT A FLASHLIGHT!” Rita screamed.
Kapri looked at Marah, and knocked her across the side of the head. “It’s called a dim bulb, you dim bulb! A broken flashlight is called dim bulb!”
“Ouch!” Marah yelled grabbing her head. “Uncle…..” she whined. “How much longer is the going to take? I need to be home at seven to watch ‘That’s So Raven.”
“That’s So Raven?” Rito yelled. “I LOVE that show!” He rushed up onto the stage, and threw his arms around Marah.
“Hey, what do you say we go back to Ed’s palace, and watch it?” Rito asked.
Lothor looked on…..growling.
“Yeah! Come on let’s go!” Marah yelled jumping down into the audience.
Lothor and Rita both rolled their eyes. “Kids.” they sighed simultaneously.
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to a castle alone, with that thing?” Kapri asked pointing disgustingly at Rito. “He’s a smelling bag of walking bones!”
“Hey! I resent that!” Rito yelled smelling under his arms.
Lothor waved her off. “Don’t worry, she’s dated worse. Like that gold monkey she brought home once…”
“Hi Goldar!” Marah flashed her eyes towards him as she and Rito exited the studio.
Goldar growled and stomped forward. “Oh look,” Goldar growled, patting his sword against his rough golden hand. “It’s the chick who wouldn’t kiss the monkey!”
“You had bad breath, which is a total like ‘get a breath mint’!” Marah told him.
Rito nodded affirmatively. “Yeah goldy, you could really use a tic-tac.”
Goldar let out a fierce roar, and swung his sword at Rito’s head. The weapon decapitated the skeleton head, and sent it flying into the audience.
“You! You stupid stupid stupid monkey! You killed my date!” Marah screamed.
Laughter erupted out from the audience. “Well……” Rito’s voice is heard as the audience plays catch with his bone head. “Isn’t this magical….?”
Marah stormed out of the studio in tears.
“Marah….wait!” Kapri yelled running after her. “He’s not worth it Marah!”
Contemplating his decision, Goldar chased after Marah. “Marah wait! I can change! I’ll get a tic tac! Marah wait!”
“Goldar! You’re supposed to be the security guard!” Zedd roared, running out onto the stage.
“Looks like he’ll be guarding my niece,” Lothor laughed.
“You!” Lord Zedd yelled turning to Lothor. “Get out of my studio!”
Lothor stood up. “You want to make me tin grin?”
“No Zeddy! Don’t fight!” Rita screamed jumping between them.
“He’s had it coming for a loooooong time.” Zedd said pushing Rita into Squatt.
Lothor danced around pretending to be Zedd. “Ooooo, look at me! I’m Lord Zedd! I think I’m SOOO cool because I have a snake, and copyrighted the word ‘Lord’ in my name.”
Zedd’s body beamed into a bright red.
“Hey! You know, you could use that red glow thing for a gig Zedd! Ever hear of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?”
Zedd grabbed his staff, and shoots a ball of electricity at Lothor. “Rudolph this you Los Lunchadores impersonator!”
Lothor flew backward, through the studio wall.
“And stay out!” Rito’s head wailed.
Rita stumbled to her desk, and glanced at her last cue card. “It looks like we have a surprise guest!” she said. “Please welcome, Mr. Jerry Springer!”
For the first time all night, the crowd arose to their feet as a confused Jerry Springer walked into the studio. The crowd dropped Rito’s head down, and broke into ‘JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!’ chants.
“I found him on earth sis, what do you think?” Rito asked, his head turned upside down.
“Welcome to the Rita Repulsa Show,” Rita glared at the man.
“Ummmm, I’m sorry…” he said. “There…must be some mistake, my agent said Jay Leno… I mean, no offense folks, but you people looks weirder then the people I have on MY show!”
“So you’re going to walk your namby pampy self on my show, and disgrace me and my species? They are my friends!” Rita said, pointing to the audience. She walked over to Jerry, and pointed her broken wand in his face. “Is the Rita Repulsa Show not good enough for you?”
Jerry placed his hands up in surrender. “Oh no no no, the Rita Repulsa Show is fine! In fact, I think it’s a nice little set you have here!”
“That’s what I thought!” Rita said, returning to her chair. “So you’re the host of the show full of dirty earthlings who cheat on each other with their farm animals?” Rita asked.
Jerry shifted uncomfortably in Anna’s chair. “Well, it’s a show about people really. I like to think that if it happens in life, it happens on the Jerry Springer Show.
“Why are you on my show anyway? I don’t have any questions for you!” Rita said as she went through her cue cards.
“Well, why is that Rita? Do you somehow feel that you, or your show is inadequate?” Jerry leaned forward. “Because you Rita, are NOT inadequate. You, are a GOOD person!”
Rita jumped from her chair, and stormed over to Jerry. “Nobody calls Rita Repulsa good!” she screamed with outrage, and grabbed Jerry by his neck.
“I-I-I’m noticing a lot of repressed anger….”
“Repressed anger?” Rita growled.
“JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!” the fans screamed.
“Well…maybe….not so……..repressed….” Jerry said, beginning to lose consciousness.
"I could use Steve right about now," Jerry said gasping for breath.
“Rita! Stop! You’re going to kill him!” Zedd yelled, and pulled his wife away from the talk show host.
“That’s the point!” Rita screamed, trying to escape Zedd’s grasp. “He said I was a good person!
Jerry let out a inhale of relief….and then jumped toward Rita. “Nobody touches Jerry Springer you little *#$&%!”
Rito’s headless body jumped up from the audience, and grabbed Jerry. "Hey! You don't &*@#ing touch my sister you little piece of @#%$!" Rito’s head yelled.
"Get off me you bag of bones &#$%@!" Jerry yelled.
Rita jumped on Jerry’s back and yelled, “Until next time, I’m Rita Repulsa and I’ve got a headache!!!!!