The Power Rangers Meet Batman! First 3 Chapters

[MingyMingyJongo]

It's been a while since I posted Chapters 1 and 2, so I'll post them here, along with the recently written Chapter 3: Thunder Blunder. Enjoy.

The Power Rangers Meet Batman!

Chapter 1: Prelude to a Spoof

It all started on the darkest day of the darkest month of the darkest year… April 31st, 2003…

The Batmobile skids down the road, and stops suddenly, sending Batman hurtling through the window.

“Holy jumping toothpaste Batman!” Robin shouts to the fallen hero, on the dirty street. Batman stands up, getting his balance.

“I’m okay, Nightwing!” Batman says heroically. Robin looks puzzled.

“It’s Robin…”

“RIGHT!” Batman starts running down the street chasing after the Joker. The Joker just laughs menacingly and runs away, and trips on a bump in the road. Batman laughs heroically over Joker’s hurt body.

“Ha ha ha, and it’s all thanks to Batman. HE SAVES THE DAY AGAIN!” Batman says heroically, while the Joker is taken away on a stretcher.

“Actually… it’s thanks to a bump in the road,” Robin says to his leader.

“Yup, all thanks to Batman,” Batman says heroically and walks down the street. Robin chases after him though, since the Batcave is the other way.

Meanwhile, on the roof of a store right by the scene of the crime, Hunter and Blake laugh at the heroes’ stupidity.

“Dude, you like totally see that far out bat?” Hunter says to his brother. Blake nods his head.

“Yes, we can take him and the bird to Lothor,” Blake replies evilly.

“NO STUPID!” Hunter shouts and smacks Blake in the head. “We’re evil on ODD episodes, not even episodes.”

“But Hunter,” Blake says, “Today is an odd…” But Blake didn’t get a chance to finish that sentence, because at the moment a beam comes down and turns the two Thunder Rangers evil. The two laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

“MWAHAHAHAHA,” they scream aloud. “Dude… MWAHAHAHA!” People in the street stop in look at the two brothers on the rooftop.

Blake pauses. “We, um, we were…” The two run away, leaving everyone wondering: WHERE’S BATMAN?

* * *

Back at Ninja Ops, everyone is eating a meal.

“So Cam,” Sensei says politely, “Would you like some GREEN peas?”

“No thank you father- er hamster- er, whatever,” Cam replies.

“Okay Cam. So today you have to work hard on your SAMURI training in your GREEN uniform to join the RANGERS. Now eat you PORK- er, pork.”

“Yes father,” Cam replies.

“I wonder,” Shane ponders, “If Cam might be the…” Sensei looks at Shane intensely. “Guy who presses the zord button…” Sensei sighs.

“Dude, let’s like totally turn on the far out television!” Dustin says eagerly and hops over to a TV.

“Now Dustin,” Sensei says, “Television is the blah blah blah and if blah blah blah you can blah blah the blah blah friggin’ blah.” To this, Dustin, Tori, Shane, and even Cam look at Sensei as if were a talking, computer-animated hamster- oh, wait….

When the television turns on, a news reporter is saying something with a picture of a bat on that annoying TV thing behind her.

“This just in…” the report says, “It appears that a bat and bird in Halloween costumes are running around the city beating up criminals. They’re doing much better than those ninja things. Speaking of the ninjas, it appears we just got a phone call from their mentor. Apparently HIS SON CAM IS THE GREEN SAMURI RANGER! That is all.” The rangers look bewildered.

“Wow…” Shane says, “I wonder… what ninjas she’s talking about… and who this ‘Cam’ is!” Sensei takes out a wooden pole and snaps it in half, breathing deep breaths.

However, merely seconds after Shane finishes saying something idiotic, the Batmobile crashes through the wall of Ninja Ops. Robin opens the window and sticks his head out.

“Holy fried shoelaces Batman!” Robin says aloud.

“Hang on, let me open the door,” Batman says heroically. He presses a button and the window closes, with Robin’s head still there. “Oops…” Robin starts choking, and finally Batman manages to open the window again.

“Holy hopping hamburgers Batman!” Robin says in between deep breaths. “You almost killed me Batman!” Batman sighs, and tries to open the door. He presses several buttons, and the lights go on, the car horn beeps, the airbags go off, and the Batmobile turns yellow, until finally the door opens and Batman hops out.

“Greetings people of Turtle Lake City!” Batman says heroically.

“It’s like Blue Bay Harbor bat dude,” Dustin says to Batman.

“WHATEVER!” Batman says heroically, “I am Batman, and this is my… heh heh… ‘partner’ Batboy!” Robin hops out of the Batmobile.

“IT’S ROBIN!” Robin says, still rubbing his throat.

* * *

Back on Lothor’s ship, no doubt Marah and Kapri are whining about something, Zurgane is doing something stupid, so let’s just skip to Lothor and Choobo, shall we?

Anyway, Choobo enters Lothor’s main room, and catches Lothor petting a kitten. Lothor jumps up in surprise.

“Um… so… HOW DOES IT FEEL, EMPORER… UM… GLASS… TO BE STUCK INSIDE THE BODY OF A KITTEN?” Lothor says aloud, acting all mature. “Yes Choobo, what is it?”

“Well Lothor,” Choobo begins in that weird voice of his, “It seems we have two new heroes to destroy! Batman and Robin of Got Ham City have come to Blue Bay Harbor! To make matters worse… um… actually, there is nothing worse… yet. Wait for next chapter for the rangers to team up with Batman, then I’ll get back to you.”

“Um… right…” Lothor says, “Now, go away. I’m with a client.” Choobo looks at the kitten, nods, and leaves a little bit afraid of his master.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[MingyMingyJongo]

Chapter 2: C2: Heroes United

The rangers finally finished telling their whole story to Batman and Robin. They now stood nodding, as they understood what they meant.

“Wow,” Batman says heroically, “I now how it feels to not be able to open a bottle of ketchup even after you run around the world trying to fine somebody, ANYBODY, that can open it.” Sensei hops in right after Batman finishes.

“Now students,” Sensei says, “Maybe you should tell these flying… er… things… that you are Power Rangers and heroes just like them.” Robin gasps.

“YOU GUYS ARE POWER RANGERS,” Robin shrieks, “Wow, ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a super hero! It is so cool to meet you”

“Uh… Robin…” Batman says pointing to Robin’s costume. Anyway, the rangers begin telling another whole story- this time, not about the ketchup bottle that wouldn’t open, nor about the urban legend of the dead dude in the car, but about them being “Power Rangers.”

“So,” Sensei says, “What do we say rangers?”

“THANK YOU,” they shout with smiles.

“No! Our major rule in battle!”

“Oh,” Shane says, “You mean never escalating a battle?”

“No.”

“Don’t drink and drive?”

“No.”

“No ultra-tight spandex?”

“Close, but no cigar”

* * *

Meanwhile, Hunter and Blake, now turned evil from last chapter- er, I mean a while ago- are now roaming Gotham Bay Harbor- er, Blue Gotham Harbor- oh whatever!

“Like dude brother,” Hunter says to his brother, “Like, what are you totally doing?”

“Dude,” Blake replies, “I’m like totally destroying this, like, building man!”

“Far out brother”

“Like totally!” People are running around in circles shrieking.

“It’s a pity really,” says Hunter looking around, “That if people would run in a straight line, and not in a circle, it’d be a lot harder to find people around us, and a lot less deaths−” At that moment the screen turns black, and a man in black suit appears on screen.

“The following word said by Hunter reflecting the effect of their destruction onto people is hereby censored among ABC Kids (trademark of Disney) and therefore is not permitted in “The Power Rangers Meet Batman.” ABC Kids is not responsible for any traumatizing done to children for,” the man stops and gasps, “…hearing the d-e-a-t-h-s word. Thank you, and we now return to our regularly scheduled program, now of course adjusted.” The man in the black suit disappears, and a new actor is playing Hunter when we return.

“−I MEAN DESTRUCTIONS would occur.” The new Hunter smiles cheesily.

The people continue to run around, and everybody’s wondering: GOT MI− I MEAN WHERE’S BATMAN… AND ROBIN… AND THE POWER RANGERS?”

* * *

Returning to Ninja Ops, we find our… *snicker*… heroes watching Pop-Up Video, and Cam trying to Close Pop-Ups on his computer (bada-bing).

Sensei comes running out of his bed thingy and to the rangers, panting. “RANGERS,” Sensei screams, “DUSTIN’S MISSING!” Dustin looks over his shoulders.

“Right here man,” Dustin says, and goes back to Pop-Up Video. Sensei looks at him and nods.

“Oh,” Sensei says, “Okay then.” Sensei goes back, and runs back in about ten seconds later.

”Right here Sensei,” Tori says, with her eyes on the television.

“Me too Sensei,” Shane says, with his eyes on the television. Batman, Robin, and Cam also announce their presence.

“No!” Sensei shouts, “The Thunder Rangers are attacking the city!” The wind rangers gasp, and Batman and Robin are dumbfounded.

“Thunder… Rangers?” the two say simultaneously.

“Oh, dude, their totally like these totally far out ranger dudes who are, like, totally evil (or like good sometimes man), and are all like, um, evil, and they um, like, are crimson and like navy dude,” Dustin says to them. Batman and Robin look at each other.

“Thunder… Rangers?” the two repeat simultaneously.

“Their rangers who are evil (or good sometimes) and they are crimson and navy… um, dude,” Shane says, translating Dustin-talk. Batman and Robin nod their heads.

”OH!” they say simultaneously (Batman says it heroically of course). Everyone looks at Robin.

“Oh yeah… holy cold hotcakes Batman!” Robin says getting up off the ground.

“Let’s go!” Batman says, and Batman and Robin run into their Batmobile and zoom off. This leaves the rangers stranded.

“So… um,” Shane says to where the Batmbobile was, “We’ll… uh… see ya there!”

So, while we wait for our slow-witted and just overall slow spandex-wearing heroes let’s….

* * *

GO TO LOTHOR’S SHIP! Hooray. Choobo runs into Lothor’s chamber, where this time Lothor has his mask off.

“Oh my goodness,” Choobo shouts to the unmasked non-caped crusader, “It’s Sensei!”

“No,” shrieks Lothor in response, while putting on the mask, “It is I, Grant Mc− I mean, Lothor! What is oh large one?”

“Well, your maskiness, it seems as if that beam that we fired (because it was an odd episode and not even) at the Thunder Rangers worked! They’re attacking the city. And Batman, Robin, and the Wind Rangers have teamed up and are fighting them! It’s,” Choobo counts on his fingers, “Five against two!”

“Oh,” Lothor says, “Okay… well, is there anything we can do?”

“Well, we could send down Zurgane, but I dunno, he’s all floopy.”

“Okay, so we can’t do anything.”

“Um… not, not really, no.”

“Then… um… okay. Let me know when Chapter 3 starts.”

“Okay… so I… guess I’ll see you then…”

“Okay… um… wow, this is awkward… okay, bye!” says Lothor, and Choobo leaves, and the Chapter ends and−

[MingyMingyJongo]

Chapter 3: Thunder Blunder

“So…” Shane says while sipping from a cup, “I really don’t think their coming back.”

“Nope,” Tori says, “I think it’s pretty safe to say.”

“Even I have to agree,” Sensei says to the Wind Rangers, “that you guys got left TOTALLY HANGING DUDE.” All three ninjas stare at the little guinea pig. “What? A Sensei can’t be cool?”

“NO!” the three shout together, and laugh as their Sensei cries in a corner, obviously losing his mind. Ha ha ha!

“Dude, I guess we should be like totally going now, huh?” Dustin says, “We’ll just like take the totally cool mobile communication center.” At that moment, Dustin sees Cam driving the mobile communication center away through the hole in the wall that the Batmobile made.

“Or not,” Tori says, “I guess we’re just stuck here.” Of course at that moment a news report conveniently comes on the TV, which before was off.

“This just in,” says a news reporter, “It seems we have reports that the Thunder Rangers are still at the battle.”

”So?” questions Tori to the inanimate object.

“That means that the Navy Thunder Ranger is there too.”

“Um… so?”

“BLAKE! BLAKE WILL BE THEIR TORI!”

“WAIT! There’s gotta be a way we can get their!”

“Well…” Shane says, while sipping from the cup, “We COULD walk ya know.”

“Um, Shane dude,” Dustin asks, “Like what’s in that far out cup, dude?”

Shane pauses. “I… don’t know…”

So Shane spits out the odd liquid, and the rangers start… walking to the battle scene.

* * *

Back in Lothor’s ship, Choobo comes running into the Lothor’s room to find Lothor watching Spongebob.

“ARE YA READY KIDS?” the captain screams at the beginning.

“AY AY CAPTAIN!” Lothor answers back. Choobo coughs and Lothor quickly changes the channel to porn.

“That’s better,” says Choobo. Lothor nods and Choobo continues, “It appears as if Chapter 3 has started!” Lothor gasps, and quickly runs to the nearest computer.

Suddenly, Marah and Kapri run in just so I can start a new paragraph, since I don’t know if it would be grammatically correct to have Choobo say yet another thing in that paragraph.

“Um, Lothor, why are you online?” Choobo asks afraid of the answer. Marah and Kapri go sit where Lothor was and watch the porn.

“I’m going to hack into Mingy’s computer and find out what happens next!”

“Oh… smart Master Lothor, smart indeed.”

“Let’s see… It all started… blah blah blah… Chapter 2… blah blah blah… Chapter 3… and… here we are! ‘Um Lothor, why are you online?’ No, no, a bit further. Aha! ‘Let’s see… It all started… blah blah blah… Chapter 2… blah blah blah… Chapter 3… and… here we are! ‘Um Lothor, why are you online?’ No, no, a bit further. Aha! ‘Let’s see… It all started… blah blah blah… Chapter 2… blah blah blah… Chapter 3… and… here we are! ‘Um Lothor, why are you online?’ No, no, a bit further. Aha! ‘Let’s−”

Suddenly, Zurgane enters! Yay.

“SIR,” Zurgane yells, “It appears ‘Spaceballs’ is unhappy with the joke that was just stolen from their movie! What should we do?”

“I’LL TELL YOU WHAT WE DO!” Lothor says, getting up from the computer, “We let this spoof go its own way and stop interfering with it!” To this, Kapri, Marah, Zurgane, Choobo, and Frax agree.

So without Lothor in this spoof until next chapter… let’s check on our heroes!

* * *

The Batmoblie arrives just in time at the battle scene to… really fill time until the rangers arrive. Batman and Robin step out, and see the Thunder Rangers for the very first time.

“Well Thunder Rangers,” Batman says heroically, “We meet again!”

“We’ve never met before though…” Blake says, while being all confused and stuff.

“I know, but I always say that when I meet the bad guys.”

“Oh… okay…”

”Yeah…”

“So…”

Batman and Blake, both looking a bit embarrassed, are happy to see that Shane, Tori, and Dustin have arrived just in time to break then tension!

“Holy goat nipples Batman!” Robin shouts.

“NINJA STORM, RANGER FORM!” The three wind rangers shout, and morph.

“POWER OF WATER,” Shane says.

“POWER OF AIR,” Dustin says.

“POWER OF EARTH,” Tori says.

“Oh man, Cam mixed up our morphers again!” says Red Ranger Dustin.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M WEARING A SKIRT!” screams Shane.

At the site of a thin girl in a guy’s costume, a guy in a girl’s costume, and Dustin in a leader’s costume, Blake and Hunter laugh hysterically. Robin and Batman join in. Ha ha!

By the time the rangers all get their proper morphers back, everyone within a fifty foot radius had laughed at them at least once, with Hunter and Blake selling T-shirts saying “I Saw the Great Wind Blunder of 2001!” The 2001 was crossed out and a 2003 was written underneath it in a sloppy handwriting.

At last the battle scene settles down, but it is hard to turn a mood previously hilarious to a move of seriousness (or… as serious as this spoof gets).

With that said…

TO BE CONTINUED… again…

[Fire ranger]

What happened to Power Rangers Virtuality?

[Rebel Ranger]

Hilarious. I can't believe you were going to leave without finishing this.

And who were your top 10 rangers? I didn't see who got the first 3 places.

[TheOneRJS200]

Personally, I'd love to see the Rangers meet "The Dark Knight" Batman from the current comics, as opposed to the “Holy jumping toothpaste" Batman and Robin from the 60s.

[MingyMingyJongo]

Originally posted by Fire ranger
What happened to Power Rangers Virtuality?

Lack of interest kind of cancelled it. I believe the Prologue was too short to be taken seriously by msot readers, and Chapter 1 was way too long for the audience of "I-like-to-read-short-fanfic" readers.