Ranger Series Pink story post (Don't get your hopes up!)

[bobalouranger572]

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE READING THE STORY! I do not own any Power Rangers rpm characters, but i do own the idea of the rpm pink ranger. Also i wont you guys to tell me if this story is bad but not in a harsh manner! Also the pink rpm ranger will not pop up yet .I do not own the pictures in this part of the story! And lastly this is only two paragrahs! Hope you guys enjoy!


Ranger Series Pink Part 1
“All most done!” said Dr.K. Her monitors filled with pictures of what looked like a young pink warrior. Also on another monitor was a moving picture of zord number six the Croc- Carrier . She was so busy with her projects , that she did not notice Ziggy staring right at her. “Oh, ranger series green, I did not notice you there!” said Dr.K. “ Yea, I was just wondering what you where doing with my zord the croc-carrier” replied Ziggy. “Oh, noting!” “Oh, no it does look like something !” “ Fine , if you must know im re-numbering the Croc- carrier from zord number six to zord number seven” “ But ,why?” Then all of a sudden the alarms went off , and it was go time for the RPM Power Rangers! “Ranger Series Green, threes been a Venjix attack at the bay, I’ll call the other rangers” “Right, RPM get in gear !” Then Ziggy morphed into the green ranger . “ Hey, there it is again ! “ said Ziggy while he pointed to the power runoff. ?
Dr. k roiled her eyes, while Ziggy was off in to battle. The bay was flooded with grianders! Behind the grianders was Tenaya 7 , General Swift and General Crunch . Ziggy kicked though the grinnders into Tenaya 7 , knocking her down . “ Rangers, always ruining the party!” Growled Tenaya 7. “ Well I guess you can call me the party crusher because im going to crush you!” said the green ranger. “Attack!” Shouted Tenaya 7. “ Turbo ax hi, ya!” shouted Ziggy as he smashed though the grinnders using his turbo ax . The grinnders then got Ziggy in a tight grip. “Hi , ya!” Shouted the black ranger Dillon shooting the grinnders out of the way with his rocket blaster, saving Ziggy. 

[BattleRanger]

*sighs* :shame:

[bobalouranger572]

*sighs* :shame:

Well this not one of the comments I wanted. I wanted you guys to explain why you did or did not like it. I do not wont just a face or a *sigh*. Explain why your sighing , how is that any help for me to make it better, thank you.

[BattleRanger]

Okay, let me ask you something ... do you think your story is exceptional? Have you read over it, at least once, to make sure there were no errors? Have you considered punctuation, flow, and grammar?

There is so much to consider ... if you have the idea of a Pink RPM Ranger, then you oughta develop it better ... ideas are not justification for a story ... take your time to develop how you are writing. Read some books, see how they set up paragraphs, sentences, see how they describe action and how they show what the characters are thinking. Use these examples to better yourself as a writer ... just because you have an idea does not make you a writer.

My last bit of advice is take your time ... be more aware of what's going on here, because if you were to read the fanfic rules, you'd know that this sort of thing is generally frowned upon, because its a not a full story, its not exactly a "Chapter One" and you already gave the warning, "Don't get your hopes up!" ... if you knew people would be disappointed, why bother posting? This means you KNEW there was something off with your story, something that bothered you ... and you should have worked on it until that feeling left you and you had something you were proud of.

There ya go.

[bobalouranger572]

Okay, let me ask you something ... do you think your story is exceptional? Have you read over it, at least once, to make sure there were no errors? Have you considered punctuation, flow, and grammar?

There is so much to consider ... if you have the idea of a Pink RPM Ranger, then you oughta develop it better ... ideas are not justification for a story ... take your time to develop how you are writing. Read some books, see how they set up paragraphs, sentences, see how they describe action and how they show what the characters are thinking. Use these examples to better yourself as a writer ... just because you have an idea does not make you a writer.

My last bit of advice is take your time ... be more aware of what's going on here, because if you were to read the fanfic rules, you'd know that this sort of thing is generally frowned upon, because its a not a full story, its not exactly a "Chapter One" and you already gave the warning, "Don't get your hopes up!" ... if you knew people would be disappointed, why bother posting? This means you KNEW there was something off with your story, something that bothered you ... and you should have worked on it until that feeling left you and you had something you were proud of.

There ya go.
Thank you im just never really know what the ranger fans are going to think. The little part with changing the croc- carrer number is leading to rpm pink it will develup more in the future.And again thank you! :)

[BattleRanger]

Is English your first language? It just seems that some of the grammatical problems you're encountering are more with people who don't speak English very well. If that is so, perhaps you need someone who does to help you work on your stories before you post them. A barrier like shouldn't hinder your storytelling.

If you are an English speaking, born in and raised US citizen, then either you're too young to develop your grammatical skills or old enough, but not concerned with these things. To be a good writer, you have to have a very good understanding of the English language ...

I just think you're missing the point of what I'm saying altogether. It has nothing to do with RPM or what the 'ranger fans' think. You reacted sensitively to my harsh criticism, when you had enough warnings about the way you were writing, some of which came from your own conscious. If you don't believe in what you write, don't expect others to ... and don't be offended when they shoot it down.

[bobalouranger572]

Is English your first language? It just seems that some of the grammatical problems you're encountering are more with people who don't speak English very well. If that is so, perhaps you need someone who does to help you work on your stories before you post them. A barrier like shouldn't hinder your storytelling.

If you are an English speaking, born in and raised US citizen, then either you're too young to develop your grammatical skills or old enough, but not concerned with these things. To be a good writer, you have to have a very good understanding of the English language ...

I just think you're missing the point of what I'm saying altogether. It has nothing to do with RPM or what the 'ranger fans' think. You reacted sensitively to my harsh criticism, when you had enough warnings about the way you were writing, some of which came from your own conscious. If you don't believe in what you write, don't expect others to ... and don't be offended when they shoot it down.

You got some nerve, i thanked you for your advice i wont this to end now! Your making me go topic, I toke your advice and by the way you were a bit harsh this came from your conscious as well ! The end, case closed , good night!

[bobalouranger572]

Sorry, i made a mistake i copyed my messages a lot and i dont know how to delete them please forgive me! :(

[Orre Ranger]

^fail quote^ but I do agree with all Battle Ranger has said.

[BattleRanger]

These never end well, do they?

[bobalouranger572]

These never end well, do they?

No ,they don't now lets get back to my stupied story their I said Battle ranger you happy? Now lets Give others a chance to say something about my story and maybe they will tell the truth a little nicer then you did ,and not take over the post besides me! Also im from japan! :p

[BattleRanger]

My advice was if English wasn't your first language, then find someone to help with your story who does speak English very well. No one is out to get you, least of all me, so try not to get offended. I'm just being honest with you ...

[carklak]

You have some good ideas here that really need to be organized and brought out more. It would probably help if you could find someone to read the story as you work on it to help you polish it and look for grammar and spelling errors, etc. That's something that I find very helpful. Fanfiction is devoured pretty quickly here so it might be better to post your work when you have more than a chapter or two done. That way you're not under any extra pressure to have more written and people reading won't be disappointed.

Carla K

[Zeltrax]

I have to agree with Carla and BattleRanger here. I don't doubt your ideas can make a good story, and what I read so far looks like a typical (24 seconds) of RPM. But Battleranger was right in saying that stories, no matter how long or what the subject, need to flow and be written with certain grammatical considerations. People on this board are used to stories such as "SPD: Year 3" and such, so you might want to take a look at those and get a few helpful tips on how things are laid out.

Again, I will say the idea of the Pink Ranger isn't bad as long as you have an original and well-thought-out intro for the character, and as long as you have a character in development who will play out and have a good backstory. "Kim comes to town and becomes a ranger" isn't really the best way to go about it, but I'm sure you've got some cool ideas that can be organized into something we'll all enjoy.

I also believe Battleranger did nothing but give honest criticism when asked for it. Not only that, he didn't do it like Simon Cowell; everything he said was polite and he merely asked if English was your first language. The point here is, take whatever criticism you can from whomever will give it, and use it to improve your writing techniques instead of just defending what's already there. If there's something you disagree with, by all means, there's no need to implement it in the story, but so far everyone has wanted to help.

That said, I encourage you to keep going with this. For example, I like the Ziggy/K banter (though it could be a little less generic.) Make it something original and don't be offended by reviews. Walt Disney once said that everyone needs a good failure to learn from. I'm not saying that's what this is, but it can definitely be a learning experience for future stories or even the future of this story.

[ShadowRanger]

For one thing this is little more than a teaser, for which a thread has been provided and you should have used.