PDA

View Full Version : "Kick Into Overdrive, Part II" Fiver (Rate HPE: Hartford's Penis Envy)


ZeoMew2Too
06-10-2007, 08:25 PM
Power Rangers Operation Overdrive
15x02 "Kick Into Overdrive, Part II" Fiver

While I Was "Passing The Lantern, " My Friends Were Passing The Bong!
Christopher "V'er_dude" Brockner

I Named An Island After This Guy He's So Freakin' Awesome!
Ryan Tober

-V- -V- -V-

Edmund: LEST TIME ONE POWOR RANGARS OVERDRYVE???

Stewie Griffin: Where's my money, man? Where is it, huh? Where's my money? * beats Brian the Dog senseless*

Brian the Dog: AGGHHH!! OW AGGGHHH!!! AGGGHH AAGGGHHH!!!

EDMUND: NOW THE CONCUBINE???

-V- -V- -V-

Citizens of San Ageles: OMFG!! Volcano!

Mack: Ah, shit, the volcano's been activated! What now?

Will: It's alright! It seems it wasn't really activated! It's just a pirated copy.

Volcano: We're sorry, but your version of "Volcano Vista" does not seem to be genuine. Please contact Microsoft so that we can track you down and kill you, you filthy pirate.

Rose: Did anyone else's timbers shiver when he said "pirate" ?

-V- -V- -V-

*Andrew Hartford's mansion is too big; I bet he keeps the bodies of people he didn't like around here somewhere -- people who he made compete for their lives (yeah, this is like "Hostel," only with mult-colored spandex)*

Mack: I was great as the Red One!

Mr. Hartford: And for referencing Shane, you give back your morpher now, okay?

Mack: Crap!

-V- -V- -V-

*upstairs, where there are corpses hanging from meathooks*

Mr. Hartford: Rub rub rub!

Corona Aurora: Hey! Stop touching me!

Moltor: Yes, stop touching the crown!

Mr. Hartford: There's just a whole bunch of different places I could go with that one. Now, what brings you here?

Moltor: We kinda figured the crown was a fake when you didn't come after it.

Mr. Hartford: Is that all?

Moltor: That, and this inscription on the inside that reads, "This crown is a fake!"

Mr. Hartford: Oh, yeah. There's that...

-V- -V- -V-

*Ronny gets wet over the Drive Max vehicles; yes, you heard me right*

-V- -V- -V-

*outside the Hartford Mansion, where orgies are held right under Mack's nose every Saturday; hey, was that Spencer in a G-string being led around on a leash by a transexual?*

Spencer: Oh, I hate the outdoors! Because there's evil in the forest!

Mack: In the trees, darkness breeds.

Spencer: Well, I'd suspected... But now that you're singing "The Wasserman Rap," I just KNOW you're miserable.

Mack: Wassup, Spencer.

Spencer: Sir, I have known your father for a very long time. He's a fearless man. There's only one thing he fears most.

Mack: Losing me like he lost mom?

Spencer: Actually, it's snakes. He FUCKING hates snakes!

-V- -V- -V-

*A BEACH -- NO ROCK QUARRY?!*

Moltor: Hello, anus-face!

Flurious: Well, hello there, penis-breath!

Mr. Hartford: Yup, this is pretty much how the whole scene goes.

-V- -V- -V-

Mack: My dad is missing! And I swear I wasn't so pissed at him that I ransacked his office and then ground him into hamburger!

...
...

Meaty chilli anyone?

Rose: It's okay! I'll use the computer to start a search of the entire West Coast for him! And because this is Power Rangers, that pretty much SoCal.

-V- -V- -V-

*soon*

Mack: I just wish he hadn't taken the Red Overdrive tracker! (I just hate getting bits of metal and plastic in my chilli.)

Spencer: Excuse me, sir, but your jest of patricidal cannabilism does not amuse us. In fact, the Red Tracker is upstairs locked in your father's safe. A safe that not even a black man could crack. Not... Even... A BLACK MAN!

Will: What the fuck is wrong with you, butl-- Oh, I see! Hehe!

-V- -V- -V-

*upstairs, where Will is introducing the Citadel 500 w/ digital signature code to every black man's greatest asset; his enormous dick*

Citadel 500: Oh, oh God, Will! Oh... OH YEAH! Oh, you may not have the key to unlock my safe, but you open me up in ways a key could neve--

Will: Yeah, it's been great babe. The tracker?

Citadel 500: Oh. Do you promise to call me?

-V- -V- -V-

Rose: I found him! He's on Tober Island in Australia. And since this is Power Rangers...

Mack: Yes! He's still righ here in SoCal!

-V- -V- -V-

*the SHARK skims the waters of SoCal; that's what SHARKs do, isn't it?*

Ronnie: Wow! This totally unnecessary jet plane is making me horny! I mean, God, Sargess never needed a jet plane!

Mack: Can this thing go any faster?

Ronnie: Nope, but I can get a lot easier. Will, come crack my safe so Tyzonne can go straight for the goods!

Will: That shouldn't be hard. I heard even Spencer's been inside her deposit box.

-V- -V- -V-

*Tober Island*

Mack: Alright, let's get to the cave!

Will: Wait. I'll check things out first.

*Will pulls down his pants*

Lava Lizards: My God! It's so big!

Will: Y'know, hearing that never gets old.

Mack: I wouldn't know, buddy. I really wouldn't know.

-V- -V- -V-

*inside a cave of lava*

Mr. Hartford: Where are you taking me?

Moltor: I'm sacrificing you to my fiancee, Maligore.

Amy Jo Johnson: Throw him into the fire!

Mr. Hartford: Well, I always kinda figured she'd be back for one of these seasons.

-V- -V- -V-

Moltor: Eat him, Maligore!

Dark Spectre: Grrr! You must have me confused with someone else!

Dax: I'll save you Mr. Hartford!

Mr. Hartford: Jeebus tripped-up Oliver! They sent DAX to save me?! God, maybe it would have been better if Mack had put me in the chilli. A lot less painful way to die.

-V- -V- -V-

*soon*

Mr. Hartford: Okay, Mack, I get it. You hate me. Just don't ever send a Lo to do a man's job again!

EDMUND: HAY?? TAHT NO FUNNY??? NOW I SUIT DOWN???

Mr. Hartford: Hey, Mack, how'd you get the Tracker back?

Mack: Will helped me by using his greatest asset! Using any man's greatest asset! His PENiS! ... (Except, y'know. His is bigger. The black thing. Yeah.)

Mr. Hartford: Mack, don't do this!

...
...

Their large penis size is why I secretly dislike black me-- I mean! Um...

Will: Yeah, don't try to hide it! I always knew all you "little" white guys were just jealous of ol' King Will here. (Sheesh! Republicans.)

-V- -V- -V-

*back at the Hartford mansion, where I'm starting to notice white knick-knacks that are almost sort of phallic in shape, and suspiciously SMALL*

Mr. Hartford: Great job, you guys!

Spencer: I was very worried about you, sir. Orgy night would never be the same without "The Tiny White Titan."

Mr. Hartford: Spencer, not now...

Spencer: Yes sir.

*Overdrive Alert!*

Mr. Hartford: Giant sea creatures are attacking Tober Island, which is DEFINITELY uninhabited!

Ronnie: Yeah, that's what they always say!

Mr. Hartford: No! I mean it! I mean, there's just a cave and some lava!

Dax: Yeah, and that orphanage. Wink. Wink.

Mr. Hartford: Guys, I'm serious!

Mack: C'mon guys! Let's get to the Drive Max zords! And, Dad, if you try to stop me, Shane will be the least of your worries.

-V- -V- -V-

*inside the secret Zord bay, that every season is required to have*

Rangers: DUMP! FORMULA! GYRO! DOZER! MARINE! GO! GO!

-V- -V- -V-

Sea Monster: Grrr!!

Mack: Q-Rex?

Drive Max Megazord: MEGAZO -- AGGGHHHH! OH SHIT!!! OH HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT HAS BANDAI OF AMERICA DONE TO ME?!

Sea Monster: OH, GOD, LOOKING IS TOO TERRIBLE! I WANT TO DIE! *impales himself on Drive Max Saber* GAK!

-V- -V- -V-

Spencer: Mack has the makings of a fine Ranger, sir! (And his dick is bigger than yours, and THAT is saying something!)

Mr. Hartford: Go polish some lemonade, Spencer.

-V- -V- -V-

Moltor: You blow 'em up, we make 'em big!

Lava Lizard: You already did that, sir.

Moltor: Well maybe I wanna do it again, dammit!

-V- -V- -V-

Sea Monster: HYPER CLOCK UP!

*the Sea Monster rewinds itself out of death*

Sea Monster: I'm still suicidal!

Dax: He's holding a THERMAL DETONATOR!

Mack: I've got it!

Drive Max Megazord: 1... 2... 3... RIIIIDDEEER KICK!

Sea Monster: GAK! *explodes a short distance away*

Dax: Oh, God, I got shrapnel in my eyes!

Will: But the rest of us are okay. And that's all that matters!

Rose: Oh, yeah, and the monster fell on top of a children's hospital in his death throes...

-V- -V- -V-

Flurious: So, you didn't get Hartford to find the jewels, eh shit-heels?

Moltor: Like you could've done any better, pin prick!

Flurious: No, you're thinking of Andrew Hartford.

Moltor: Haha! Too true.

-V- -V- -V-

*back at the Hartford Mansion, which is looking smaller all the time*

Mr. Hartford: I swear, that children's hospital was EMPTY!

Mack: Actually, Dad, we can talk about all the charred, screaming little imps we had to shoot just to humanely end their misery later. Right now, I'm here to hand in my tracker. I understand you're afraid of losing me. So if you want to shelter me so I die lonely and unfulfilled, I'll respect your decision.

Mr. Hartford: Actually, if you were listening to Spencer earlier, you'd know my only fear is snakes. Really BIG snakes.

...
...

(That are black.)

...
...

Mack, are you listening to me?

Mack: Uh, sorry, Dad, I was reading the latest issue of, "Power Rangers Ninja Storm: Is Only A Comic Book, Nothing More..."

-V- -V- -V-

*the Batcave*

Spencer: There! Your DNA resequencing is complete sir!

Mack: Huh? I don't feel any diff-- Oh, wait! *pulls down his pants* Alright!

Mr. Hartford: Oh no! NO! It's..

Will: Hey! Welcome to the club, brutha!

*Mr. Hartford screams like a woman as his son's new black member continues to grow at Ludicrous Speed*

nickraman
06-10-2007, 08:34 PM
...COMEDY GOLD!

Welcome back.