Words, Hands, Hearts

[Akumaranger]

Disclaimer: Power Rangers is the property of Saban/Disney Entertainment. Lyrics to “Neither Of Us Can See” is owned by Incubus with Chrissie Hynde.
Author's Notes: This is AU, and is a 12-part maxi-series. This chapter is more drama so bare with me here first, I'll try the best I can do with this and try not to make it sappy.

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m3/Gouki_02/whh4.jpg

Chapter 1 (of 12)
Evil Angel

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that is you just show up and try to do the right thing, the down will come. You wait and watch and work, you don’t give up."
-Anne Lamott
Privet Quarters, Terra Venture…

The Kendrix Morgan walked down the hallways as she stopped in front of the door of Kai Chen, the door automatically open as she entered. For the past five weeks Kai had been starting a series of secret meetings amongst the other rangers for the purpose of comparing notes and theories about the “Galaxy Sabers”. Upon arriving she saw Kai, Damon, and Mayana sitting in front of a small round table.

“Thank you all for coming…”
“What’s going on Kai, and where’s Leo?”
“Leo doesn’t know we are here.”
“…What, what do you mean he doesn’t know?”
“I want to discuss about Leonardo to continued as being a Ranger…”

Silver Star Club, City Dome…

Towards the dark corner room he sat amongst himself as the crowd of colonist chattered. In that as he look onward all he could hear was nothing more than a long low-key static, over and over in his head all he could think about was that it was his fault. But all he wants to do was find a way to numb this over bearing pain, He thinks to himself that he needs a drink but he knows that bartender won’t let him slide.

At first he thought this was what he expected, what he thought he signed up for. Ever since Mirinoi he felt, as his entire life has been a long overbearing car crash, hoping that it could.

“Um, excuse me, is this seat taken.”
“Huh, well no but I prefe—”
“—Thanks!”

The woman interestingly sat down ignoring what he trying to say. She was a dark-hair beauty that wore a crimson-red buttoned up shirt with a black blouse, and a matching crimson skirt. He gave out a long sighed as she began to prep herself up in front of him.

“As I was saying before, I prefer to be left alone…”
“Unfortunately my jerk-of-a DATE ditched me, beside it looks like you could use some company.”
“I don’t need your damn company okay!”
“…Fine, I can see when I am not wanted.”

“No wait! I’m sorry for being rude…” he said as he stopped her from leaving he began to persuade her, as he offered back the chair, she smirked as slowly sat back down.

“Again sorry for being a jerk. Look um, my name is Leonardo James Corbett, what’s yours”
“The name is Tracy, Tracy Elizabeth.” She said as let out a small giggle.

Privet Quarters, Terra Venture…

“I can’t believe were even thinking of this?” Kendrix said with a frustrated look upon Kai, since Michael’s death Leo had been distant from the group, the only time they ever gotten a chance to talk to him would only be in a fight against one Scorpious’ goons. But that was just only one of the problems to be discussed in that room.

“I don’t know if we should do this, I mean this is kind of wrong. What do you think Damon?” Maya asked.

“…” Damon continued to keep himself quiet as he thought about this in his head.

It was more than just some lack of communication between teammates; Leonardo had showed some aggression amongst everyone, even when it wasn’t a monster from Scropius himself. Whenever they would to talk to him about Michael he would just tell them to “Mind your damn business” and storm off somewhere.

Even though the group had try to understand what Leo was going through, in there minds they asked themselves this question; *Should he continued to be ranger?*

“I know this ain’t an easy decision, but we have to do something about this before anyone else is hurt…”

Silver Star Club, City Dome…

A series of chuckles and laughs began to swirl around the table as two began to enjoy each other’s company, among meeting most of the people in the colony Tracy seemed different and yet the same to Leonardo.

“So… you never did tell me how you got here?” She said with a smile as Leonardo gave himself chuckle.

“…Well, a court order.”
“!?…Come again?”
“I got into trouble so the court sent me to live with my brother, unfortunately he was assigned here.”

“And not your parents?” Tracy asked, just then Leo’s smile suddenly turned dim.

“…They were both killed in a car crash, I was eight at the time.” Just then her eyes began to lower as her face began to gloom, she felt stupid for asking that question.

“…I’m sorry, I know what it’s like to lose a someone in your family.”
“Who was it?”
“My mother, she died after giving birth me…”

They both sat in silence as the crowd chattered, when they tried to speak their mouths would hang out open. It continued for five more minuets before finally moved on to different subject. Suddenly the music in the background began to change.

“Hey uh, you wanna dance?” Leo asked as he reached his hand outward to her.

“Yeah, why not!” She took his hand as they head out into the dance floor as the song played;

I am one big walking chemical reaction
A buzzing hive of self synapsis and nascent self perception
Isn't it disdainful and curious?
That both of us think we know everything

We both have pains
We both have eyes
(Neither of us can see)
We both have pains
We both have eyes
(Neither of us can see)
One in the same
Two of a kind
And neither of us can see

I am just a blinking neon roadside attraction
I sow future wrinkles and I'm told I'm tapped potential
Isn't it disdainful and curious?
That both of us think we know everything

We both have pains
We both have eyes
(Neither of us can see)
We both have pains
We both have eyes
(Neither of us can see)
One in the same
Two of a kind
And neither of us can see

I am one big fleeting errant contradiction
So good to meet you we are one in the same
Isn't it disdainful and curious?
That both of us think we know everything

We both have pains
We both have eyes
(Neither of us can see)
We both have pains
We both have eyes
(Neither of us can see)
One in the same
Two of a kind
And neither of us can see

He began to lay his hands on her hips as they waltz along the dance floor, their minds were aroused in ecstasy with desire in their eyes. The aspiration in their eyes began to grow until finally, their lips began to meet. As Elizabeth mind began to diminish from the craving she slowly opened her eyes abruptly departed from him, her mind quickly went into frenzy as she had realized what just done.

“Oh man I sorry, I didn’t--” As he tried to apologized, Tracy continued to stare at him until pressing her fingers against her lips. She then looked back up to him, panicking Elizabeth ran towards the nearest exit.

“Hey, wait a minuet…” He called out before chasing after her.

Privet Quarters, Terra Venture…

“Look, we all know he’s bit rough but--”
“—A bit, he almost slammed himself into the crowd when he tried to chase down Furio from the armory”
“If could you try to look at it in his eyes you coul--”
“—I know what he is feeling Kendrix, being thrust into a duty that you have no idea how to complete it.”
“…Kai”
“Don’t be, look I’m just saying since his brother had died he’s been reckless, and if we don’t do anything about it somebody WILL get hurt.”

They all went into silence knowing that Kai was right, if Leo isn’t careful of himself somebody could get hurt.

“What do you suppose we do?” Maya asked.

“ We vote…”

Somewhere in the City Dome, Terra Venture…

She stopped in the park as she gave herself time to breathe her mind still hectic from what had happened in the bar. Tracy constantly looked back as she hoped that he lost her, suddenly the bushes in front of her began rattle. Her heart pounced hoping that it wasn’t Leonardo, as the figure appeared from the bushes, the figure wasn’t Leo but instead someone else she knew…

“Trakeena…”
“FURIO what are you doing here, don’t you know you’ll alert their system just by being here!” She aggressively whispered.
“Your father already knows about your little plan, this mission is over!” He said as he forcefully grabbed her arm.
“It’s only over when I say it’s OVER!” Tracy said while trying tug his hand off of her arm.

“Heh I beg to differ Princess, you’re not a queen--”

“Get the hell away from her, Furio” A voice, shouted from behind them. As they both turned it was Leonardo.

“Red Ranger!?” Furio said in surprised.
“Let her go, Now!” Leonardo demanded as he raised his Morpher.

To be continued in: Beautiful Danger

Author's Notes 2: I’ll add some action into the next chapter. And please don't tell me that I misspelled things like Mirinoi or Furio, I did it for a purpose.:shame:

[TSoldier]

May I have this dance?

Ok, so I thought it was weird when it said that for the past five weeks Kai had been STARTING to hold secret meetings. I would figure that after five weeks he'd have moved past the starting phase and actually begun holding the meetings. Same with the kissing scene with Leo and Tracy- you wrote that their lips began to meet. Their lips just plain old meeting is fine. Either they meet or they don't. THe grammar is kind of annoying, and so is trying to understand what the supposed purpose for it all is. And is that supposed to say "Private Quarters" (instead of Privet Quarters) in the beginning? I didn't know if it was some kind of military term I was unfamiliar with or not, so I wasn't sure I should mention it.

I'll tell youwhat I didn't like: I didn't like the way the dialgue was written. What I mean is, the lines were put together and unassigned to any specific character. It was like we knew who was in the room, but it was anyone's guess as to which character was saying which line. Or some lines just come off like non-sequitors. Like someone says Kai's name and then someone else says "Don't be," which has no apparent relevance to the conversation at hand. Don't be what? And, again, the grammar, made it that much harder to interpret (ex. “I want to discuss about Leonardo to continued as being a Ranger…”). Ummmm.......

Overall, it could have used a good proofread before being posted. (Ex. Towards the dark corner room he sat amongst himself as the crowd of colonist chattered; Ever since Mirinoi he felt, as his entire life has been a long overbearing car crash, hoping that it could. What?? Hoping that what could do what??). These examples don't make it easy for the audience to continue reading a story, because it can make us question the quality of the chapters climax if this is the kind of quality put into the build up.

That being said, it wasn't completely horrible or anything. Just very distracting and a little bumpy to follow. At first I thought you should have mentioned where this takes place in the continuity of the show, even though it's AU, but in the end I think it worked without it because it actually made the references to elements we've seen in the show seem almost like easter eggs, where I was like, "Oh, Hey, I remember that". At the root of it, it's actually a very creative presentation of some familiar storylines from LG. It's great spin on the pieces of the show you borrowed from, it'd just be moreso if this had been polished better. There's really no excuse for as many errors as there were here, unless maybe you're from anouther country, or pretty young. Like I said, this is a very creative spin on LG and some of the highlights in that series storylines, but it shouldn't take.....I'm not sure how to explain this....it's like, the heart of the story is there, it's just buried under this clutter and you kind of need x-ray vision or an abnormal attention span or to be a glutton for punishment almost to really get thru to it.

I don't think this story suffered from lack of action. Action isn't a mandate...well, sort of in the world of PR, but that rule doesn't really apply as much to these kind of fics because their goal is to offer more than just being this extravagant spectacle of colors and cool toys. That's what makes these kind of fics work- the fact they they take the time to focus on offering genuinely entertaining story elements, like intrigue and drama and, in the case of this story, andrather interesting method of story telling (which again would be A LOT more interesting without the bad grammar and punctuation, not just different spelling- the irony being that you say you spelled Furio and Mirinoi differently for a reason, when in acutality, you didn't spell them wrong; it's all the other things you spelled either differently or just wrong that seem so glaring).

Errors aside, it's actually a pretty good start. At first I wasn't feeling it because I thought you left the issue of Leo's actions and Mike's death way too open ended and they, only by a stretch of the imagination, or the pre-knowledge by the audience of the LG storyline, were related. Leo's odd behavior and Mike's death in your story go together well but it took just a little bit of time to get to the correlation, and it might have helped for you to depict what that correlation was, cuz it's not clear if, in this story, Leo played a part in his death, which is what drove him to his current state, or if he's just messed up cuz his brother died somehow. ANyway, the background behind Leo's presence on Terra Venture and his dependancy on his brother, who is now no longer with him, definitely made this an intriguing story/spin on the show. That's what your maxi-series has going for it, and I encourage to do more prrofreading so that nothing gets in the way of your reader's pursuit of that aspect of your story. One question though: What is a maxi-series? I've never heard of that before.

[Akumaranger]

Opening Theme: Sakura by Smiles Davis
Closing Theme: I Do by Yoko Kanno and Ilaria Graziano

Story Summery: When new generations of warriors are chosen to wield the "Sabers of Galaxy", a new journey begins. For them it was more than a journey of strength, for them it was for a self-identity. But for a young warrior and a Crime Boss Daughter it was more...

Leonardo James Corbett
Played By: Justin Hartley
http://media3.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/photo/2006/03/16/PH2006031602132.jpg

Kendrix Morgan
Played By: Natalie Victoria
http://social.indiewire.com/socialg/images/mem_photos/2004_thumb_1163025435.jpg

Trakeena / Tracy Elizabeth
Played By: Lindsay Korman
http://soapoperadigest.com/LindsayKormanL.jpg

Kai Chen
Played By: Archie Kao
http://gfx.filmweb.pl/p/48214/po.153140.jpg

Damon Freeman Henderson
Played By: Reggie Rolle
http://ia.ec.imdb.com/media/imdb/01/I/48/80/70/10m.jpg

Mayana (Maya)
Played By: Megan Fox
http://www.celebopedia.com/megan-fox/images/megan-fox.jpg

Michael Corbett
Played By: Matthew Fox
http://www.buddytv.com/articles/lost/images/matthew_Fox.jpg

Episode Tittles
1.) Evil Angel
2.) Beautiful Danger
3.) The Defender
4.) Soulful Journey
5.) Stand Against
6.) Farewell Bullblack
7.) The Return
8.) Thy Brother's Keeper
9.) Do You Take This Enemy
10.) Scars
11.) The Goodbye Heiress
12.) On The Battle Field

[Akumaranger]

Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers; “Lost Galaxy” will always belong to Saban.
Author’s Notes: After a long absence of writing and going over and over of my unfinished chapters I decided to rework the story from scratch as I spent mostly preparing the story through layouts and layouts. I would like to think “Shadowcat123” form Fanfiction.net for being my editor and muse, also to Adam/Silver Atma Ranger of Rangertalk and Tsoldier of Rangerboard for their personal reviews.

Words, Hands, Hearts...

Chapter 1: Daylight Robbery

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that is you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work, you don't give up."

-Anne Lamott

During the beginning of the Universe many warriors, swordsmen, and sorcerers stood on opposite ends to the battle of Light versus Darkness in the fight that would last for over a Millenium. Amongst them was a powerful man named ‘Orion’ who stood with the Light amongst other great legends such as ‘Zordon’ and ‘Demetria’ to defeat the Darkness. He continued to fight against the Darkness until his death, but before he past away he passed his power on in the form of five sabers created by some of the universe greatest weapon makers. The sabers were soon founded in the hands of five young warriors; ‘Ryouma, Hayate, Gouki, Hikaru, and Saya’ vowed to continue Orion's fight until suddenly; they vanished off the face of the universe with the sabers.

Legends say that a year after the war's inevitable conclusion, five new strangers would find the sabers and continue the universe's protection from a new danger...

***Armory Department, Weapons Dome... Present Day***

Inside the building looked like a battlefield, bullet shells and bodies of "Stingwingers" and "Galactic Space Alliance (GSA)" Soldiers were laid out along the floor amongst the bodies was an unconscious young man; "Leonardo Jonas Corbett." But instead it became horrific nightmare as he was constantly haunted by one specific moment, his brother Michael's death...

In his mind he can still feel that he was back on the alien planet ‘Mirinoi’, he could feel his arm ready to be torn apart as he held on to his brother over the chasm's edge. Leo's body began to drag along the ground as Michael was slowly descending deeper into chasm, his brother shouted to him to let go but Leo refused. Mike knew Leonardo wouldn't let go even if it means falling into chasm with him so he did what any brother would do, he handed Leo the saber as his brother fell into the chasm.

Suddenly his eyes shot opened as sees the bodies of a few ‘Stingwingers’ and his fellow GSA officers, some looked unconscious while the others definitely needed serious medical attention.

"Quickly now, they'll be here any minuet!" Said a low-growling voice.

Leonardo slowly turned as he heard that familiar voice to see that it was him, the same man that turned an entire populous into stone, the same man that was responsible for his brother's death; "Furio!"

One of Scorpious top generals as he over saw the Stingwingers hauling crates of assault riffles as they unloaded them from out of the vault, luckily for Leo after being covered by the debris from the surprise attack that Furio and his men mistaken him for the other GSA officers.

***Scorpion Stinger...***

Inside the ship was a large demonstration room where there a large group of Stingwingers and other shady characters stood in a big circle, inside the circle was a small-unknown pirate that was violently pounded on by a large tentacle-like figure. The figure was about 6'7 feet tall; He had black insect-like eyes with an extremely fit and yet tight muscular physique, long tentacle-fillers that stretched down all the way from his head to the waist. The figure's skin was dark-green that strangely had a hard-shell, which looked like body armor pieces had covered most of his body.

Very little is known about this man's origin, thirty-eight years ago he had only first appeared in space. Since then he has built a cosmic criminal empire behind the shadows of many like Dark Specter, Vyram Empire, and the Machine Empire under the name; "Scorpius!"

"Maybe now, you'll learn to pay for unpleasant transactions by notifying me first..." Scorpius said as he hovered over the pirate.

"Father...!" A raven-hair woman called as she appeared from the room's doors.

"Trakeena, Treacheron deal with this pest..." Scorpius ordered as he went up to greet his daughter.

"Who was that Father?"

"Just a low-level parasite that tried steal from me."

"Furio has just confirmed us that he has just started to infiltrate Terra Venture's weaponry, and will be awaiting further details..."

"That is good, tell Furio to destroy the weapons and then proceed to invade Terra Venture with the reserved forces."

"But father, I was hoping that you let me join Furio in this mission-"

"-No!"

"But I think it would be important to expand my role in this clan-"

"And you will, as the heir of this clan is an important role."

"But let me prove-"

"I said NO! You're too valuable for this clan's future, now do I make myself clear?"

"...Yes father." Trakeena said as she posed a fake smiled to her father.

"Good, now go and contact Furio once that confirmation is made..." Scorpius said as he walked down the hall. Trakeena stood as the smile on her face slowly faded away with an angered frown.

Though to many she was spoiled brat that was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, a princess that thinks she can stand equally with the warriors. And every one of them were true, whatever she wanted; whether it was diamonds, gold, or a new servant, it would be hers in a matter of seconds. Even with all the glamour of luxury there was one thing she could never attain, the same thing that all wealthy daughters wanted, a father's proud of his daughter. At time she thought it would've been better if she was born a man, at least that way she could feel father being proud of her, instead she felt like she was in his way.

***Armory Department; Weapons Dome...***

"Why rush, we already have their weapons facility?" another voice emerged as a figure appeared from out of the vault: the figure had dark yellow skin with two horns that had black orbs placed in the center of the two horns and was dressed in a long black overcoat.

"Don't be foolish Horn; they won't give this up without a fight..."

"...We'll see!" Horn snickered. Leo knew that the injured officers won't last long without that medical assistance, it was now or never had he thought.

"It's over Furio!" Leo shouted as he appeared from the pile of debris.

"Corbett!" Furio snarled.

"This is the Red Galaxy Ranger, a child!" Horn said surprised.

"More like a stupid child..." Furio commented.

"You're not taking these weapons Furio!" Leo said as he morphed.

"You think you can stop me and my men, just by yourself?" Furio said as stingers gathered around the red galaxy ranger, surrounding him as the red ranger firmly stood his ground.

"Take the boy!" Furio ordered.

The Stingwingers soon swarmed in on the red ranger; Leo quickly swatted down a few grunts before lunging at Furio, suddenly Horn surprisingly stretched his arms out as he caught Leonardo in mid-air. Horn then proceeded to slam the red ranger violently back into the ground, Leo tried to raise himself up but was quickly capture by the Stingwingers; Furio chuckled as the grunts picked Leo up, his blade soon materialized as he hovered over the red ranger.

"You have a long way to go to be a true warrior, boy..." Furio said as he raised his sword high.

"Leo!"

Leo, Horn, and Furio turned to see the other four morphed Galaxy Rangers as ran down the hall, Damon quickly hurled his Quasar Saber at Furio's arm as a loud clang ringed through the air.

"Eh--Aarrgghh" Furio shouted as he held his cut hand as his blade fell to the ground. With Furio and his men distracted, Leonardo quickly freed himself with a few kicks and punches to the Stingwingers as he head-butted Furio in the face causing him to fall on his back.

"...Kill them!" Furio ordered while still reeling from the red ranger's surprise attack.

***Scorpion Stinger...***

"Impostria!" Trakeena demanded to a nearby Stingwinger as she entered her privet room. Slowly the Stingwinger began to suddenly change into a being; the form was a masked feminine figure that had pale white skin, and green snakes for hair.

"Heh of course, Lady Trakeena... I just wanted to let you know--"

Impostria headed towards the princess desk as she pressed a small conceal button reveal that her mirror was in fact a video transmitter, the video showed Furio and his men in Armory's main vault.

"This is live, but how did you--"

"Thanks to Mutantrum's ability, we can now watch Furio's every little move."

"Heh..." Trakeena smirked as she turned off the screen.

"...You don't care if Furio succeeds?" Impostria asked.

"Doubtful, after his failure on Mirinoi he's becoming more unreliable by each mission after the next, I wouldn't be amazed if failed here as well..."

"...If not him then who else, Treacheron?"

"No Impostria, it going to be us."

"…What do you mean us?" Impostria looked towards Trakeena with great deal of confusion.

“I’m going to destroy them from within…”

***Armory Department; Weapons Dome...***

"Drive em back people!" Kai ordered.

The Galaxy Rangers continued their battle against Furio and his men as they and the Stingwingers fought for control of the weapon supplies, the fight was soon taken out into the department's main hallway. Horn grew impatiently after being stuck to ensure that the other Stingwingers load up the remaining weapons from the storage, with Furio pre-occupied in fighting the red ranger Horn made his way towards the other rangers.

Leonardo continued to charge at Furio in rage-fueled attempt to strike down Scorpius’s general, carelessly the red ranger swung his sword at him like a crazed barbarian rather than a swordsman. Furio slammed his sword like a baseball bat towards Leo who barely blocked, the force from the blades momentum slightly sent the galaxy ranger flying into the air before shifting his body to twirl back as he counter Furio with a swift swipe.

“You’ve been in a thorn in my side for far to long…” Furio said as he grinned his teeth while locking his sword with the furious ranger.

“Pay… I’ll make you pay for what you did to those innocent people on Mirinoi, those people like my brother Michael!” Leo yelled as he pushed Furio back with much force.

Suddenly the red galaxy ranger was quickly forced away from Furio by a few laser shots from Horn's unusually small shaped blaster; he continued to keep Leonardo off balance with blast before getting caught off guard by the blue ranger.

Damon was so distracted in fighting off his share of the Stingwingers he didn't notice that one of them attempted strike him from behind. Luckily for him, Maya had managed to see his would-be attacker as she leapt from over the remaining few before landing on the stinger with her knees.

"Thanks..."

"--No worries!"

Horn backed away as he extended his left arm out in an attempt to strike Kai down, the ranger barely dodged the attack with a side-roll before locking his saber with Horn's surprisingly blaster-turned dagger. Upon the struggling between them and their blades, Kai notice a strange and yet green markings along the edges of Horn's dagger, the weapon collector quickly kick the blue ranger as slashed him across his chest. Kai was briefly distracted before he countered with a swift kick upon Horn's chin as he staggered back.

"Damn child..." Horn said in an angered tone. He turned the dagger back into a blaster as fired at Kai, who dodged the blasts as he flipped behind a couple of unsuspecting Stingwingers that took Horn's blast. Kendrix suddenly slid across the floor as she kicked Horn from the back of his legs, tripping him instantly. As he fell the Blaster/Dagger weapon slipped out from his hand as it skid along the floor before stopping in front of Damon’s feet. Suddenly Horn’s expandable arms caught Kai and Kendrix by the throat as they were pinned to a wall, his hands tighten as the two rangers could barely breathe, and their eyes slowly began to blacken.

“Kai, Kendrix!” Maya shouted from a distance as she finished off the last of the Stingwingers. Leo managed to manipulate Furio’s body weight as he threw against a nearby pillar, just as the general made a loud thud on the ground Leonardo heard Maya’s cry before seeing the blue and pink ranger being strangled. Both the rangers dashed towards their comrades but even with added speed as rangers they were too far to save them in time, just then the ‘Green Galaxy Ranger’ had quickly appeared as he slashed at Horns arms with his Saber and the strange dagger.

The weapon collector was distracted before Damon continued his assault as Leo and Maya helped the other two rangers, he cut away at Horn. Upon one of his connecting blows the green ranger slashed Horn’s coat wide open four similar daggers flown out into the air. As he finished his attack with a kick to the face as the collector went twirling around, Damon jumped into the air to catch the daggers and handing them to his teammates.

“Transdaggers, use them!” Damon shouted.

“What?” Kai wondered in a still groggy.

“--That’s what they are, use them…” Damon shouted once more as Horn staggeringly risen. Thought they couldn’t explain it, the rangers had somehow made use for their newly given weapons as they gathered in front of Horn as they formed a star with the Transdaggers.

“Five star formation blast!” The rangers shouted in unison. The Daggers glowed as they shot out a large beam that disintegrated the weapons collector. Furio finally awoken to see another had fallen at the hands of these children, he looked over to see that his mission had failed with many of the Stingwingers dead under his command.

“One day, you will fall before my blade…” Furio said as he teleported.

Soon after, the rangers spent no time as they helped evacuated many of the injured GSO officers from out of the building, as they helped the last officer out they were greeted by colony commander Stanton.

“Thank you again, if you weren’t here in time we may never had to--”

“There’s no need to thank us Commander, you would’ve done no different in our positions…” Kai said in a deep voice as he shakes Stanton’s hand, the pink ranger quickly noticed that Leonardo had disappeared. As the other realized and soon began to look around, the red ranger was heading through a nearby alleyway. His mind was in raged with the images of Kai and Kendrix being strangled in his head, after he’d agreed to take his brother’s mantel Leo had promised himself that he would always be there to protect them, as his brother would’ve done. But instead he saw this as a sign that he was never meant to be a ranger.

“I failed Mike… FAILED!” Leonardo shouted as pounded his fist into a wall; he ignored the sudden pain and continued to walk deeper into the ally.

***Scorpion Stinger...***

"Are you sure this plan will work?" Impostria said.

"Of course it will, if we all follow it right down to the letter."

"I doubt that your father would approve?"

"He dose not need to know... not yet at least."

"…I’m ready to begin."

“Good… tomorrow will be the beginning for the rangers’ downfall!”

To be continued…

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m3/Gouki_02/th_581cccd5.jpg (http://s100.photobucket.com/albums/m3/Gouki_02/?action=view&current=581cccd5.pbr)

Author’s Notes II: Next time I’ll make these chapters shorter, sorry about this long delay. Please, Read and Review...

[Akumaranger]

I'm already hard at work on the following chapters, but with my class cutting into my writting maybe later than sooner.

Okay first sorry for not responding to my only reviewer TSoldier:

May I have this dance?

Why sure...

Ok, so I thought it was weird when it said that for the past five weeks Kai had been STARTING to hold secret meetings. I would figure that after five weeks he'd have moved past the starting phase and actually begun holding the meetings.

I failed to mention that the series had taken place right after "Rookie in Red" (Unfortunetly I've just rewriten the chapter to have it take place during the episode.) And was implying that that the attacks from Scourpius would hold it from it's starting phase.

Same with the kissing scene with Leo and Tracy- you wrote that their lips began to meet. Their lips just plain old meeting is fine. Either they meet or they don't. THe grammar is kind of annoying, and so is trying to understand what the supposed purpose for it all is.

Yeah, there are moments were I tend to ramble on about the detailing in scenes like this.

And is that supposed to say "Private Quarters" (instead of Privet Quarters) in the beginning? I didn't know if it was some kind of military term I was unfamiliar with or not, so I wasn't sure I should mention it.

Honestly I didn't even know how it was actually written, but I wouldn't be surprised if you were right!

I'll tell youwhat I didn't like: I didn't like the way the dialgue was written. What I mean is, the lines were put together and unassigned to any specific character. It was like we knew who was in the room, but it was anyone's guess as to which character was saying which line. Or some lines just come off like non-sequitors. Like someone says Kai's name and then someone else says "Don't be," which has no apparent relevance to the conversation at hand. Don't be what? And, again, the grammar, made it that much harder to interpret (ex. “I want to discuss about Leonardo to continued as being a Ranger…”). Ummmm.......

When I reread it myself I could understand what you ment, when wrote it originally I knew who was speaking, but I didn't translate the WHO that much to the story. And I don't see the "Don't be," anywhere in there.

Overall, it could have used a good proofread before being posted. (Ex. Towards the dark corner room he sat amongst himself as the crowd of colonist chattered; Ever since Mirinoi he felt, as his entire life has been a long overbearing car crash, hoping that it could. What?? Hoping that what could do what??). These examples don't make it easy for the audience to continue reading a story, because it can make us question the quality of the chapters climax if this is the kind of quality put into the build up.

Not bad, but I already have a proof reader. But hey Maybe you can be my back up Proof Reader?

That being said, it wasn't completely horrible or anything. Just very distracting and a little bumpy to follow. At first I thought you should have mentioned where this takes place in the continuity of the show, even though it's AU, but in the end I think it worked without it because it actually made the references to elements we've seen in the show seem almost like easter eggs, where I was like, "Oh, Hey, I remember that". At the root of it, it's actually a very creative presentation of some familiar storylines from LG. It's great spin on the pieces of the show you borrowed from, it'd just be moreso if this had been polished better. There's really no excuse for as many errors as there were here, unless maybe you're from anouther country, or pretty young. Like I said, this is a very creative spin on LG and some of the highlights in that series storylines, but it shouldn't take.....I'm not sure how to explain this....it's like, the heart of the story is there, it's just buried under this clutter and you kind of need x-ray vision or an abnormal attention span or to be a glutton for punishment almost to really get thru to it.

Glad you see that way I tend to divied the strories through remaked episodes or taking behind the scenes.

I don't think this story suffered from lack of action. Action isn't a mandate...well, sort of in the world of PR, but that rule doesn't really apply as much to these kind of fics because their goal is to offer more than just being this extravagant spectacle of colors and cool toys. That's what makes these kind of fics work- the fact they they take the time to focus on offering genuinely entertaining story elements, like intrigue and drama and, in the case of this story, andrather interesting method of story telling (which again would be A LOT more interesting without the bad grammar and punctuation, not just different spelling- the irony being that you say you spelled Furio and Mirinoi differently for a reason, when in acutality, you didn't spell them wrong; it's all the other things you spelled either differently or just wrong that seem so glaring).

Oh yeah, then tell that to some of the reviewers from my old fics that had really tore a new one into me like; Havemercy and a modenrator whose name I won't say in hopes to avoid being banned from the board. There will be action in this fic it's just that their be very little in the Megazord department, honestly I can't write a decient zord fight for spit.

Errors aside, it's actually a pretty good start. At first I wasn't feeling it because I thought you left the issue of Leo's actions and Mike's death way too open ended and they, only by a stretch of the imagination, or the pre-knowledge by the audience of the LG storyline, were related. Leo's odd behavior and Mike's death in your story go together well but it took just a little bit of time to get to the correlation, and it might have helped for you to depict what that correlation was, cuz it's not clear if, in this story, Leo played a part in his death, which is what drove him to his current state, or if he's just messed up cuz his brother died somehow. ANyway, the background behind Leo's presence on Terra Venture and his dependancy on his brother, who is now no longer with him, definitely made this an intriguing story/spin on the show.

I was/still going for the 'What makes them tick' with emotions story; like really, would anyone in Leo situation be that churppy after seeing his brother 'suppossidly' falling to his death. And I'm trying to flesh out more on Trakeena's persona as well, like mafia princess that tries to please her father in order to have him be proad of her.

That's what your maxi-series has going for it, and I encourage to do more prrofreading so that nothing gets in the way of your reader's pursuit of that aspect of your story. One question though: What is a maxi-series? I've never heard of that before.

Maxi-Series is an extended take of the Mini-Series.

And to everyone else Read and Review...

[havemercy]

But no one wants to read and review. Maybe that's a sign....

[Akumaranger]

That's it, I had enough of you! I'm asking one Moderators of this board to close this thread down, beacuse I'm not going to have this duchebag flooding my thread with negative and useless comments that he plagued me from the last thread!

Damnit is this all you do, just waste everyone else time and just try to give piles of turd on other people's work, huh is that what you do! I mean really if I had quarter of every time you do this crap I'd probably would've been rich. Okay, enough is enough, I have enough to balance my school and writting time only to be chewed out by you then I'm not going...

...You know what, why don't you try to write a story, so if you proved that if you were a better writer you would have some "RIGHT" to criticsize some one else's work. But until then, "YOU KEEP QUIET AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, YOU S.O.B. OKAY!"

Hope you found a sign from this little message you damn runt!

[ShadowRanger]

Okay, since Akumaranger has decided to throw his toys out of his pram, this thread is closed. I've said it before and I will repeat it again: if you post here you better have a thick hide to take the criticism you're likely to receive if your work doesn't measure up. That's why my fanfiction stays on my site and not in a public forum.

Havemercy you are truly amazing. I can't think of many posters on here that can make someone who is normally a nice guy go ballistic with a single comment, especially when it wasn't really offensive or harsh. Must be your aftershave mate